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“Hey, Ma, how are you?” I ask, hugging her tightly.

“I’m doing well. Better than you, it seems.” She grabs my face and makes me look her in the eye.

“I’m fine, Ma. I’ve got news to tell you and Dad, some good and some not so good.”

“Come in. I’ll put on the tea kettle.”

I follow her in, closing the front door behind me.

“Andrew, Tanner is here,” my mom calls out to my dad, who’s most likely back in the family room watching television.

Sure enough, Dad appears in the doorway of the family room a moment later before coming into the kitchen to greet me. “Hey, Son,” he says, giving me a hug. “What brings you here this evening?”

“He needs to talk, dear,” Ma answers, turning on the stove. She still thinks tea fixes everything.

Dad sits down at the table motioning for me to do the same. “What’s going on?”

“I got the idea to start my own foundation for underprivileged kids, so I contacted Davis about it. After working his magic, he found out that the Tony Mathis Foundation is looking for a new spokesman and would love to have me. I spoke with the board this morning about everything, and we came to an agreement that I’m comfortable with and I’ll be accepting. They’re working on the contract and whatnot with Davis now, but you’re looking at the new face of Mathis,” I tell them with a smile on my face.

“That’s fantastic, honey.” Ma beams at me.

“Yes, that’s quite a role. They couldn’t have found a better person,” Dad says with a smile on his face that radiates pride. Let’s hope that it’s still there in a few minutes.

“That’s not the only thing wanted to talk to you about though,” I tell them.

“Okay, what else is going on?” Dad asks.

“Honestly, I think I screwed up something big… My mind is all over the place right now. I don’t know what to believe, and I can’t think straight anymore.”

“Why don’t you start from the beginning, dear?” Ma suggests.

I start with, “Ashley says she’s pregnant.” Where else is there to really begin?

Ma gasps. “Oh my.”

“Okay,” comes from Dad.

I look back and forth between them because I don’t know what to say next. How do you explain a situation you don’t understand yourself?

“You said that you think you messed things up. What does that mean?” Dad asks.

I take a deep breath and tell the rest of the story, “I kind of flipped out on her. I told her she was just like everyone else who thought that they’d found their golden ticket in me. I said I didn’t want any part of her lies and that I didn’t believe her.”

“YOU DID WHAT?” Ma yells at me from across the table while my father looks away from me, shaking his head.

“When I asked her how it could be possible when she was wearing the birth control patch, she said that the patch had gotten stuck to her sheets somehow. She
googled
what to do and read on the Internet that she should just put on a new one and start over or something. It sounds so bogus!” I run my hands through my hair in frustration. “I told her she was an idiot for not calling a doctor. The whole thing sounded like a trap to me, and I told her I wanted a paternity test and that she wasn’t getting any money from me until she proved it was mine. You know this isn’t the first time someone’s tried this shit with me. My gut said she’s lying. With Carrie throwing me the same lines right after the draft, Ashley just happening to get pregnant during the best season that we’ve had in the last decade, it felt like a trap.”

“Tanner Andrew Garrison, I never thought you could ever do anything that would make me ashamed of you, but you’ve just proved me wrong. Who are you, and what have you done with my son? The boy we raised would never have treated a woman with such disrespect. I cannot believe you said that to her.” She shakes her head at me, her eyes filled with disappointment. “Carrie and Ashley are not the same person. Ashley is your girlfriend, not some random chick you picked up on a night out. Do you have any idea how scary it is to be pregnant? Never mind getting pregnant on accident and being left behind like a piece of trash by the man that helped get you in that situation… No birth control is foolproof, Tanner, and she definitely didn’t end up that way on her own.”

I avert my eyes in embarrassment, unable to handle my mother’s scolding head-on.

“You know that I love you, but right now, I can’t even stand the sight of you. I’m so disappointed. Excuse me,” she says, leaving the table in tears. I can’t help but get teary-eyed myself. My mother has never in my twenty-eight years looked at me like that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the look of disgust in her eyes or the fact that I put it there.

“I really fucked up, huh?” I ask my father while looking down at my hands. I don’t think that I can handle seeing the same look of revulsion in his eyes.

“Tanner, look at me,” my father says sternly.

I look up, expecting the worst, but I don’t find disgust in his eyes. To be honest, I can’t make out what emotion is there.

“Son, I have to say that I’m pretty disappointed in the way that you handled this situation, but that is neither here nor there at the moment. We can deal with that later. Where’s your head at? If you were so sure this was all lie and you didn’t believe her, what changed your mind?”

“Alex,” I tell him. “He’s been pretty pissed at me about this for the last few weeks.”

“THE LAST FEW WEEKS?” My mother screams from the other room and rushes back into the kitchen. “This happened weeks ago, and you left that poor girl all by herself to deal with this? This happened before Thanksgiving, didn’t it? You lied to me about her being with her parents, didn’t you?”

I nod my head, not wanting to lie to her anymore.

“I can’t believe you right now. You just got done telling us that you’re going to be the face of a huge foundation for underprivileged children. Don’t you see the irony there? I can’t believe you. You’re being a coward, Tanner!” she screams.

“MARGARET! THAT IS ENOUGH!” Dad shouts, trying to cut her off.

I’m taken aback. I’ve never heard my father raise his voice to my mother.

“No,” she says. “No, it’s not enough. His actions are the actions of a coward, not the man we raised him to be. I can’t believe you’re defending him right now, Andrew.” I’ve never seen my mother like this, and she’s honestly scaring the shit out of me. I feel like a ten-year-old boy again.

“Margaret, you need a breather. I understand that you’re upset, but you standing there berating our son isn’t helping things. He came to us for advice, not judgment. I think it’s best you walk away now before you say something you’ll regret,” my father says calmly.

“You can sleep on the couch tonight. And don’t worry—that isn’t something I’ll regret!” Ma shoots back before walking upstairs and slamming the door.

I sigh and look back down at my hands. “I’m sorry, Dad. Don’t fight with Ma over this. This mess is screwing things up with everyone.”

“Don’t worry about your mother. I can handle her. She’s looking at this from Ashley’s perspective, and rightfully so, since well, she’s a woman. But I can understand your feelings as a man. It’s scary to hear a woman tell you she’s pregnant. On top of that, you two aren’t married and are still a pretty new couple.” Dad stands and heads for the fridge. He opens it up and grabs two beers before turning back to me and handing me one. “Women automatically know that a baby’s theirs, but we men don’t have that same assurance. I also know you aren’t always quick to trust, so I can see where you’re coming from. Your mother can’t right now. That being said, I’m still not proud of your actions. But you’re second guessing your gut feeling now, right? Tell me why.” Dad sits at the far end of the table before opening his bottle and taking a long pull.

Opening my beer, I take a deep breath before telling Dad about my conversation with Alex about what Ashley’s been up to. I also recount what Kelvin told me and my dream about the baby, trying to make him see how confused I am and that I have no idea what to do. I explain how I feel betrayed and how I would have been more inclined to believe her if she had told me about the missing patch from the beginning.

Dad sits up and leans forward, resting his forearms on the edge of the table. “Has Ashley ever given you any indication that she’s been anything but faithful and honest?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“And can you honestly say that you can see her doing something like this on purpose?”

I shrug. “I guess not, but I don’t know.”

He sighs and then leans back in his chair. “Tanner, you’ve had trouble trusting people outside your safety net for a long time. You once told me that Ashley was different and special, that you felt an instant connection with her. I could see the love between the two of you clear as day when I saw you guys together. I think you’re just scared, which is natural.”

“Love? What are you talking about, Dad? Ashley and I weren’t in love. I mean, things were great before this whole pregnancy shit happened, but neither one of us ever said anything about love.”

“Son, that girl is head over heels in love with you—or at least she was. You may not have realized it, but you were in love with her too.” He smiles at me.

“No, Dad,” I object, peeling the corner of label on my beer, which seems to be a new habit of mine lately.

“Answer me this: Would you have let anyone or anything hurt her?” He stands up and walks over to me, taking a seat beside me.

“No.”

“Did you make her problems your problems and do what was needed to make sure they weren’t problems anymore?” he asks, laying his hand over mine.

I sigh. “Yes.”

“Did you feel the need to make sure that she was safe, secure, and happy?” He lowers his gaze to catch mine.

“Yes,” I say, meeting his eyes.

“Did you find yourself thinking about her almost every second of the day?”

“Yes.” Still do.

“You’re in love with her. You just didn’t recognize it because you’ve never been in love before, Son. We men are blind, and sometimes we need something to slap us upside the head so that we take notice,” he explains, squeezing my hand. “That’s why you felt betrayed by her when you found out that she hadn’t told you about the patch falling off right away. Love is a tricky feeling. It can sneak up on you out of nowhere and knock the hell out of you. But I can tell you that love is supposed to be unconditional. Am I happy about how your mother just acted? No, but I love her, so I’m going to forgive her and work this out. That’s what love is all about.”

“I don’t know, Dad. I definitely had feelings for her, but I don’t know if I would jump to calling them love,” I argue even though I know he’s right. I’d already tripped and started falling fast toward love when it came to Ashley.

“Okay, but think about it when you’ve cleared your head a little bit. Either way, from what you said Alex told you, I don’t think that she has plans to use you. I want you to think long and hard about what you want to do. There are some things that you can’t get back in life, Tanner. I would hate for you to miss out on some of those things. You kids are the greatest part of my life, and I’m glad that I was there every step of the way. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a couch that I need to go make up. Good luck, Son.” He stands, pulling his hand from mine. He rests it on my shoulder for a moment before heading out of the kitchen.

Damn, I really have a lot to think about, and I don’t know where I should begin.

“Dickhead,” Alex says as a greeting when he opens the door. “You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit. I didn’t sleep well at all last night, and I’ve had a long fucking day.” I push past him, inviting myself in.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that? You decide to go back to hitting the bottle?” he asks as he closes the door.

Okay, I guess he’s still pissed at me. Well, he can join the club. I’m sure my mom would have no problem hosting meetings at her house since she’s practically the sitting president.

“You can drop the attitude. I know I fucked up. Why do you think I’m here? I don’t know what do, man,” I tell him dejectedly. The nightmare I had last night combined with my mother’s less than stellar reaction has me all twisted up inside.

“It took you long enough. What changed your mind?” he asks, heading into the kitchen.

I follow because I desperately need a shot of something. “You, Kelvin, my parents… Bro, my mother basically disowned me. I’ve never seen her look at me like that before, like she was disgusted. It was horrible. She went off on a tangent, and my dad had to yell at her to stop her. He never raises his voice with her, Alex. She told him that he could sleep on the couch for siding with me. That was after she called me a coward.”