Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1) (50 page)

I had completely forgotten about my eye where the gun hit me. It’s numb and swollen, but it’s the last of my worries. “No, I’m fine.”

I wish my heart were as numb as my face.

As I wait for Red’s family to arrive, cradling Nova in my lap, fear takes a firm grip of my heart and squeezes. I could lose everything. Not only the man and child who have found a space in my bruised heart, but his loving family too. While logic tells me Ben is responsible, I still brought him here. He chased me to Red’s shop. That’s on me.

When the door swings open and Mia and Raven rush into the waiting room, I think for those briefest moments, they will hate me. Finally see me for what I am. Cursed. Trouble. Underserving. I’m afraid they’ll take Nova from my arms and hate me forever.

As they rush over to where Tyler and I are sitting, Nova stirs slightly in my lap. She fell into a fitful sleep about a half hour ago, her wild curls draped over my bloody jeans as I stare at Red’s mother.

“Oh my God, Lenny! What happened?” she asks, her voice a low whisper, careful not to wake Nova.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell her, swiping away tears that won’t stop. My face burns with the action.

“Lenny, look at me.” She kneels down, tears flooding her eyes at the sight of the blood on me. “What happened? Where’s Red?

“I’m so sorry!” It’s all I can say as the shock of the situation begins to take over.

“Was it Ben?” Raven asks, looking at Tyler.

Tyler nods and puts his hand on my back in attempt to comfort me. “He showed up… waving his gun around making threats. He shot Red in the chest.”

“No! Is he okay?” Raven gasps, drawing in several calming breaths and sits next to Tyler. He reaches for her hand and holds it tightly. “We don’t know anything yet. They rushed him into surgery as soon as he got here, and no one has come out to talk to us yet.”

Mia falls to her knees and Nova wakes up, pushing her curls from her face as she looks around.

I wait for it, the reality to come crashing around her. And when it does, she stares at me, her arms around my neck. “Lenny, where’s daddy?”

I kiss her temple, never wanting to let go of her. “He’s with the doctors, darlin’.” I use Red’s nickname for her, wanting to comfort her.

Tyler clears his throat and looks at Mia. “Ben is here somewhere too. Red nailed him with a torque wrench to the side of the head. Sheriff Barns said he’s under arrest, if he makes it.”

Rawley storms through the doors with Jude and Hendrix close behind him. His eyes dart around the room and land on mine. “What happened? Where’s Red?”

Mia immediately reaches for Rawley, pulling him to her side, her sobs captured by his chest.

“I don’t even know how it happened,” I say to them when Raven takes Nova to the bathroom. “They were arguing and Ben shoved Nova and Red lost it. He lunged for Ben and they began fighting. Ben had a gun and shot Red in the chest. The only thing anyone will tell me is that he was taken into surgery. They said any personal information is only given to family. I don’t know if he’s okay.”

Mia stands from her chair, suddenly calm, or attempting to be. “Okay, well I’m going to see if I can find out anything.” She walks out to the nurses’ station and speaks with one of women behind the desk.

When she gets back to our seats, her expression tells me she wasn’t able to find out anything more than we already know, which is nothing. So we do the only thing we can. We wait.

Raven comes back from the bathroom with Nova, and she immediately climbs onto my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. I grasp her tightly, trying to give her as much love and protection as I can. I know I should get her out of here. That this is no place for a little girl, but I can’t leave until I know that Red is going to be okay.

IT TAKES FIVE hours before someone comes out to talk to us. Both Rawley and Nova are asleep by this point, but not once did I close my eyes. I couldn’t.

A doctor walks in wearing scrubs and carrying a clipboard. “Family of Reddington Walker?”

“Yes.” Mia jumps up from her seat. “I’m Mia Walker, Red’s mother.” The doctor approaches and motions for Mia to have a seat. He then kneels next to us and removes his scrub cap. “Reddington is stable now and in the ICU. As I’m sure you know, he was brought in with a GSW to the chest. He’s very fortunate the bullet hit more on the right side then the left. We took him into surgery immediately as the bullet pierced his right lung and it collapsed. We had to crack his chest because his ribs splintered and wanted to make sure none of the fragments damaged his organs. You can see him in a couple hours when we get him settled in the ICU.” The doctor reaches out and touches Mia’s shoulder. “Be prepared when you do see him. There’s a tube in his mouth helping him breathe along with a chest tube. It’s a flexible tube we inserted into the space between his chest wall and the lung. It’s attached to a suction device and used to evacuate air and any residual blood or body fluids from the chest cavity to help keep the lung inflated. Once his lung heals and can stay inflated on its own, we’ll take the tube out. It could be a couple days. He’s going to be here for a couple weeks at least and total recovery time depends on him. Anywhere from a month to two. He needs to take it easy. It will time for him to heal.”

“Do you have any questions for me?”

We stare at him.

“How long will it take for him to be awake?” Mia asks.

The doctor draws in a deep breath. “Once he shows us signs of being able to breathe on his own, we’ll remove the breathing tube and ease him off the medications. It could be a few days. He’s strong though, so it could be within the next twenty-four hours. He has a long road ahead of him, and there are still some risks of complication and infection. He’s in good hands, though.”

I didn’t want to hear that. I know Red’s a strong man but can he pull through this?

WITH RED IN the ICU, there’s nothing we can do at the hospital, so I leave with Nova, Raven, Rawley and Tyler, and head to Red’s house so Nova can sleep in her own bed. Mai stays with her son.

It’s around three in the morning by the time we get to the house and I put Nova in bed. Rawley, Raven, and Tyler sleep in the living room, but I imagine there won’t be much sleeping tonight.

Just as I’m in Red’s bed, there’s a soft knock on the bedroom door and it creeks open. Nova stands in the doorway with tear-filled eyes. “I’m scared. Can I sleep with you?”

I can imagine she’s horrified.

“Of course you can, honey.” I nod, patting the side of the bed. I knew she wouldn’t stay asleep and I’m kinda glad she didn’t. The thought of sleeping alone after all of this scares me, mostly for her.

“I’m so sorry for what you saw today.” I tuck the blankets up around her and pull her into my chest.

She worms herself closer and sighs a shaking breath. “I’m scared. What if he comes back here and takes me?”

“He’s not going to hurt you. I promise. He’s going to jail for a long time.”

I hate that I just promised her something I can’t guarantee.

Lying here in his bed, beside his daughter, my tears spill over. All my life I’ve only dreamed of a world where I would have the kind of love and acceptance I’ve gotten from Red, Nova, and the Walker family, and now, as I lay here holding onto Nova with every shred of love I have in me, all I can do is sob. For the first time, I have everything to lose. Not knowing if Red will make it, not knowing what tomorrow will truly bring, I’m sobbing so hard I can barely breathe.

If and when he wakes up, there’s little chance he’ll forgive me for endangering his daughter.

I cry for my stupidity.

I cry for Nova.

I cry for Red.

And I cry for what he told me the day before this happened.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. He’ll have to go through me to do it.”

Because of me, Red’s words came true.

Pain radiates through my body in waves. The intensity of it comes and it goes, a constant aching in my bones, my chest, pretty much everywhere, but it’s distinctly centered in my chest. Every time it gets to where I think I can’t handle the pain any more, a moan coming from deep in my throat I can’t control, warmth travels up my arm followed by periods of nothingness.

I sleep, for long periods of time, but at least the pain is gone.

Then I awake again, the dim lights of the room comforting. Movements and sounds around me are unfamiliar.

Something stirs me from my sleep, dim lights filtering through the blinds in the room. I might be in my room, but as I lay here staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, I allow myself to take in my surroundings. Searching for something familiar, something I recognize to assure myself of where I am, all I find is disappointment. This isn’t my room.

Where the hell am I?

There’s a machine beside me, a low whoosh sound that flattens every few seconds and three additional monitors surrounding me. It’s then it hits me.

It’s a hospital room.

Swallowing, afraid to move, I notice my throat burns, like hot lava was poured down it. The simplest of motions from blinking to moving my head come back slowly, as though I’m waking from a deep sleep.

My head feels like it’s full of cotton balls as I try to recall why I’m here. I continue to stare at the white ceiling, blinking several times. Everything begins to come back to me in waves, unclear and clouded waves, but I remember what I need to.

Ben showing up, him grabbing Nova, the fight…. I was shot in the chest.

Looking to the nurse beside me messing with my IV, a wave of panic invades my thoughts immediately. Nova. If I’m in the hospital, where is she? The last thing I remember is being in the shop and Lenny holding her.

I swallow, again, struggling to speak. “Where the fuck is my daughter?” I barely recognize my voice, gruff with sleep and aggravation.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She smiles at me, like I should be happy to see her. “I’m your nu—”

I don’t have time for her fucking introductions. I need to know where Nova is, that she’s safe. I try to sit up, but I’m immediately reminded of why I’m here. Pain shoots through every nerve, causing my body to spasm like it’s on fire “I don’t care who the fuck you are. I just want to know where my daughter is.”

The nurse is trying to calm me, telling me to I need to relax and not move because I could cause more damage to my already battered body, but she doesn’t understand that I don’t give a damn about myself. I have to know where my daughter is.