Unstoppable (Forehead Kisses #4) (24 page)

What? Then why did you pack a duffel bag full of clothes?
“Okay.”

She walked back into the bedroom to change.

What the hell was that? What did I do?

Oh shit. I guess saying those three little words was a mistake.

I waited until she came back out again, her bag over her shoulder. She headed to the door without looking at me.

“Livia.”

She stopped then turned to me.

“Forget what I said. There’s no pressure here. Just because I said that doesn’t mean our relationship has to change. Okay? Please don’t run from me.”

“It’s not that…” She squirmed under my stare.

“Then what?”

“I just have homework to do.”

I started to get angry. “I’ve been the perfect boyfriend to you from day one. I don’t lie to you, I don’t mislead you, and I respect you. Now respect me by not feeding me lies. If you have something to say, say it to my face. Don’t cower and hide in your house.” I was never this stern with her. Because of what happened to her, I was constantly sensitive to the point where I was babying her. But there were things I refused to put up with. Lying was one of them.

She straightened then took a deep breath. “I just need space…”

“Why? I said nothing has to change. If it bothers you that much, then just forget I said it. I would take it back but I can’t.”

She blinked a few times, hiding the emotion in her eyes. “I told you from the beginning I would try. I didn’t make any promises to you. And this is…too much.”

“Too much?”
Was she joking?
“All I said was how I feel. You really didn’t notice? You really think I would be this patient and understanding to just any girl? No. I’ve pretty much been in love with you this entire time. If you really paid attention, you would have noticed. And call me cocky, but you feel the exact same way. I can feel it when you kiss me. I see it when you look at me. And that fucking painting hanging on my wall has it written all over it.”

She flinched when I cursed. I limited the profanity around her because I treated her like a lady. But when I was upset, it came out.

“Tell me otherwise, Livia. Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Just…stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Just stop.”

I shut my mouth, realizing I pushed her too far.

“I told you I couldn’t be in a relationship and—”

“You are in one. And you’re happy. Saying I love you doesn’t change what we have. It was going good, it was going great. Don’t let this psych you out. Nothing has to change. I don’t expect anything physical. I want everything to stay the same. So, just stay calm.”

“This has gone on long enough…I shouldn’t have let it get this bad.”

“What are you talking about?” My heart was spilling, losing all its substance. She was tearing me apart, hitting me right where it hurts.

“I just can’t do this anymore.” She tried to hold back her tears but they spilled over. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

“You didn’t mean to hurt me?” The pain was in my voice. “You make me fall in love with you, and once I finally admit it because I know you feel the same way, you just leave me?”

She couldn’t look at me, tears falling down her face. I’ve never seen her cry before, and even though I was angry, it broke my heart to see her in pain.

“You pinned me as a playboy and a cheater. And you were right on the money. I never lied about what I was to you. I admitted my mistakes like a moral person, and like a man, I promised it would be different with you. But you misled me. You said you would try. But you never said you would fall in love with me then ignore those feelings. You never said you would play me. You were scared of me but I should have been scared of you.”

She wiped her tears away and sniffed.

The sight numbed my anger slightly. “Why are you doing this, Livia? You love me and I love you. So what? What’s the big deal?”

“I…don’t love you.”

My heart ripped in half. I swore I heard the break in my ears. “Bullshit.”

“I don’t.” She tightened her purse on her shoulder.

“Then why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t enjoy hurting you…I’m not a sadist.”

I stared at her, feeling my heart sink into my stomach. I went to bed last night thinking that everything was okay. I woke up to a beautiful woman in my arms, a girl I’d waited my whole life for. Now she was taking everything away—including herself.

“I should go…”

I didn’t stop her. I was too numb, too shattered. I couldn’t believe this was happening. All I did was tell her what she already knew. She could lie to my face all she wanted, but I knew she loved me too.

She stepped out quietly then shut the door behind her, leaving me trapped in a house with her ghost. After staring at the door for several minutes, still processing the worst heartbreak of my life, I wandered into the living room and sat down. The painting was on the wall, displaying the essence on that magical day. Now it was just a memory.

A girl had never hurt me before. I always did all the dumping, the severance package. I never let anyone in because I was so scared to lose someone. My parents were the greatest people I’d ever known. I didn’t even get to tell them I loved them once more before they burned to death. They just disappeared. They were gone. There were no remains to be buried. Just like that, I lost them.

And now I lost her.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Livia

I hate myself.

I hate myself.

God, I hate myself.

I couldn’t believe what I just did. I lost the only man who I ever loved. The only one who really loved me. He took better care of me than my own father. He was my best friend, a person I shared secrets with. He brought me back to life, made me feel safe.

And then I ripped his heart out.

But I couldn’t let it go on. When he told me he loved me, I felt joy. I’d fallen so madly in love with him that I couldn’t understand it. It defied logic and reason. All I knew was what my heart told me; and it wanted him.

But I also felt sadness. Scotty didn’t know what happened to me. If he did, he wouldn’t want me. He would invest all this time in me just to be disgusted. He would never look at me the same. He would never want to make love to me. He wouldn’t even want to kiss me. I may be hurting him now, but at least I wasn’t going to make him feel like an ass. Even though he would dump me, knowing him, he would feel shitty. I didn’t want that.

This was the only way it would work. But I shouldn’t have gotten sucked in too deep. And more importantly, I shouldn’t have let him get this burned. I didn’t know he loved me. I knew he was fond of me and cared about me, but I never expected that. I was such an unlovable person. I could never do anything right. My mother was right.

My life was just a series of bad decisions.

When I got home, I lay in bed and cried to myself. I tried to stifle the tears and stay quiet but I couldn’t. And there was no point. I was all alone anyway. I wailed, pulling my knees to my chest. I hurt Scotty, but I was in far more pain than he was.

I hated myself.

When I went to school on Monday, I dreaded my psychology class. Scotty would be there, and he would try to win me back. He would tell me we could work on it, that he would do anything to keep me. And I would have to refuse him.

And act like I didn’t love him.

I sat in my usual seat and waited for him to enter the classroom. My ears were pounding and my chest was about to cave in.

Scotty walked inside, and without looking at me, sat in a completely different row. He didn’t even glance at me. His eyes were glued to his notebook, like he was going over the notes from the last class meeting.

That hurt.

The class dragged on for an hour before it finally ended. I looked over at him, wondering if he would talk to me.

He grabbed his backpack then walked out, not turning to look at me once.

I hated myself.

But he hated me too.

The Next Installment of the Forehead Kisses Series

UNFORGETTABLE

Scotty and Livia continue

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