Unstoppable (Forehead Kisses #4) (16 page)

“I want to…”

I pressed my forehead to hers, making her face her emotions for me head on. We’d never been this affectionate before. The fact she didn’t flinch made it clear she felt the same connection to me, the same chemistry. “I’m already yours. Please be mine.”

“I just need more time.”

“Time for what?”

“I just need time.” She kept her eyes closed.

“Livia, look at me.”

After a deep breath, she opened her eyes.

“I’ll wait a lifetime for you. But being with you every day is just making me fall harder for you. I know you’re scared to get hurt but so am I. So, if this is never going to work, don’t waste my time.”

Her thumb escaped my grasp and caressed my knuckles. “I don’t want to lose you…”

“You don’t have to.”

“We can try…”

That was enough for me. “Okay.”

“But, I can’t be what you want me to be. So don’t expect that.”

“And what do I want you to be?” I whispered.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m not ready for…something physical.”

Liam’s words came back to my mind. What I feared most was true. Her hesitance and fear confirmed it. And I felt like shit inside. “That’s fine. I don’t expect anything like that. I’ll be as patient as you want. Just being with you, holding you, and kissing you is enough for me.”

“But you’ll get frustrated eventually.”

“No, I’ll be frustrated without you in my life. I don’t miss all the meaningless sex I had—not at all. I only want you. I’ll wait until marriage if that’s what you want.”

“That isn’t why…”

“Whatever the reason, I’ll wait.”

“I still need this to be slow…I can’t promise anything, Scotty.”

“Everything will be the same as it was before. But now I know you feel the same connection that I do.”

“Are you sure that’s enough?”

I cupped her face and directed her look to me. “Just a sliver of you, even a small part, is more than enough.”

“You’re so sweet, Scotty. I never expected you to be such a gentleman.”

“And I never expected to be one. But you changed me.”

“I hope you can change me.”

I stared her directly in the eyes. “I intend to.”

I sat at the bar and waited to be joined by my future cousin-in law. A shadow passed over me and I knew he had arrived. He dropped in the stool next to mine. I already had two beers because I was depressed.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I want to talk about what you said before…about Livia.”

“I think I’ll need a drink for this.” He waved down the bartender and ordered his beer. When it was in his hands, he looked at me. “Proceed.”

I didn’t want to say it out loud. Just the idea made me sick. I wanted to be wrong. I prayed I was wrong. “I think Livia was raped…” I wanted to vomit just from saying the words. The idea that someone hurt her like that made me want to explode. I wanted to rip off her tormentor’s head. Shit, I wanted to kill his entire family, anyone who ever knew him. I covered my face and breathed through the anger. I thought I might shatter my glass if I touched it.

Liam stared at me, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“The way she acts around other people…it’s like she’s scared to live. She’s closed off from everyone. When I hit on her for the very first time, she broke down in tears. And when we talked about our relationship last night…she said I wouldn’t want her if I really knew the truth about her. It all makes sense.”

“I’m sorry.” That was all he said, not that I expected him to say much else. “For what its worth, I understand what you’re going through.”

Keira wasn’t raped, but her freedom was stripped away from her. She was taken advantage of and abused. It really wasn’t much different. A disgusting fiend devalued something beautiful and pure.

“Did she tell you this?”

“No…but I think I’m right.”

“Why don’t you bring it up?”

“Because I know she’ll push me away.” There was no way around it. “She has to tell me on her own.”

“I understand why she assumes you wouldn’t want her anymore…in that way.”

“But I would. Of course, I would. It doesn’t change the way I feel about her.”

“Maybe if she knew that, she would open up.”

Why was this happening? Every person I was close to had a broken soul. They had trying lives, shattered bodies. But why did this have to happen to Livia? I could see the difference in her times of life just by looking at her paintings. This fucker took something that didn’t belong to him and mutilated it. “I want to know who did this to her.”

Liam rested his elbows on the table. “And when you do, I’ll be there to help you.”

“No, this fucker is all mine.”

‘Then let me help you bury the body.”

“Bury it?” I asked with a laugh. “When I’m done with him, there will be nothing left.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Livia

I couldn’t say no.

I should have ended the relationship before it began.

But when Scotty touched me gently and looked at me like I was the only person in the room, my legs grew weak and I couldn’t resist him. I wanted to fall into his arms, to let him hold me and fix me.

But I couldn’t.

If he knew what happened to me, everything would be different. He wouldn’t want me anymore. Who would? I was disgusting. I was gross. I was…damaged. Why would Scotty want what’s left of me?

I didn’t even want me.

But when I was given the choice to be with him or lose him, I couldn’t cut him loose. He’d quickly become my closest friend, the person I loved spending time with. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else but him. And even though I shouldn’t think about anyone in a physical way…I thought of him that way. I was turned off from sex since the last time I had it. I never wanted it again. I never thought about it. But with Scotty, my feelings were different.

Could I really be with him? Or would this just end badly?
The smart decision would be to end the affair before we both got in too deep, but I couldn’t.

I just couldn’t.

Because I wanted him.

When I saw him walk into my psychology class, the anxiety immediately pooled in my stomach. My heart fluttered when I watched his massive arms move as he walked. He’d grown so much in such a short amount of time. I would never want to be the recipient of his attack.

He sat next to me then gave me a look I loved. He was smiling, but his eyes twinkled with something more than joy. I felt like the only thing that mattered. Nothing but adoration emitted from him. He made me feel like a diamond when I thought I was cheap plastic. He leaned in then kissed me on the cheek. “You look beautiful today.”

He’d never given me a compliment like that before. And he never kissed me on the cheek. It was a great start to a day. “Thank you.”

He pulled out his notebook and pen and prepared for the course.

My heart still fluttered wildly, knowing he was next to me. I never expected this manwhore and heartbreaker to sweep me off my feet. And I never expected to be happy ever again. When we were together, I forgot about all the baggage I was carrying. Just for a moment in time, I felt peace.

When the class was over, we walked out then headed down the path. I shouldered my bag then sauntered beside him. His hand grabbed mine then gave me a gentle squeeze.

My spine shivered slightly when our hands touched.

He gave me an encouraging smile then came closer to me, our shoulders touching. It was nice to feel his affection, to be with someone who didn’t want anything from me. I felt safe when I was alone with him, that he would never hurt me. When he said he didn’t need a physical relationship, it seemed like he meant it. He took all the pressure off, making me feel relaxed.

I was already falling deeper.

He walked me to the library. “Can I take you out to dinner tonight?”

“Like, on a date?”

He smirked then moved his hands to my hips. Now that we were together, he was always affectionate with me, always needing to touch me.

Not that I minded.

“Yeah. I want to take my girl out.” His face moved close to me then he rubbed his nose against mine.

Now I was a puddle on the ground. “Sure.”

“Good. Because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”

I didn’t like his choice of words.

He seemed to recognize his mistake as soon as he made it. “I mean, I’d really like to have dinner with you unless you’d rather not.”

The fact he understood my emotions and thoughts innately was impressive. He seemed to know when I was upset and why. I thought I was a master at hiding my emotions, but apparently not. “No, I want to go.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “What does my lady like to eat?”

“Anything.”

His eyes brightened affectionately. “Be more specific.”

I shrugged. “I like Italian.”

“Italian, it is.” He dropped his hands. “I’ll see you after training.”

“Please shower before you come,” I teased.

He chuckled. “You don’t like it when I’m sweaty?”

“I just don’t like the smell.”

“Alright, I’ll shower. But only because I really like you.”

“I feel bad for all the people you don’t like.”

He laughed again. “I torture them with my smell.”

“So cruel…”

He grabbed my hip then pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’ll see you later, babe.”

I felt warm and fuzzy. “Okay.”

He released his touch then left the library.

I missed him the moment he was gone.

When I was walking across the quad, there was a pep rally going on. The sorority groups were mingling on the grass and at the tables, trying to get more recruits. I remembered my time pledging to my house. Despite all the crazy things we did and all the alcohol we drank, I had a lot of great memories. But now all of that was tarnished.

Kimberly and Jasmine were sitting at a pledge table, wearing pink and waiting for someone to approach them and grab a pamphlet. It was weird to think these two girls were my best friends in the entire world, the people I confided everything to. And now they were strangers.

Kimberly had been my friend since I was twelve. We had the same tutor for home school and we were neighbors. Now we didn’t even speak. Jasmine was my roommate in the dorms for my first year of college. We shared more secrets than we should have. But we had a blast.

But I didn’t know her anymore.

I didn’t have any friends. All I had was Ash and now Scotty. I didn’t even have parents I could turn to.

I was totally alone.

I stared at them as I passed, reminiscing about our friendship. Now I was just a ghost, something from the past. Kimberly looked up, hoping for a new pledge. When her eyes met mine, her face turned blank. Then she looked down again like she’d never seen me in her in life.

I was a stranger.

I used to wear cute dresses all the time, highlight my face with shades of make up, and I wore sky-high heels that made my ass look prominent and strong. Then I did everything I could to not be noticed, to disappear.

To be invisible.

But I wanted to look nice for Scotty. It was the first time I felt that way in a long time. I wasn’t scared of unwanted male attention. I knew he would protect me from preying eyes just from his intimidating size, and I welcomed his look. Now when he stared at me, I didn’t feel like a piece of meat. I felt beautiful. I felt cherished.

It was totally different than what I was used to.

I wore a dark green dress that reached my thighs. It was a summer dress so it was loose and dipped low in the front. I highlighted my appearance with jewelry I tucked away long ago. I didn’t pull my hair back. Tonight, I let it hang around my shoulders, curling it at the ends and volumizing it.

Scotty knocked on my door right at seven. He was always punctual.

Feeling nervous for our date, I took a deep breath before I opened the door.

Scotty held a boutique of wild flowers. Some were purple and blue. Others were pink and red. And I spotted a few California Poppies in the batch. It was an assortment of different flowers, but the splashes of color made it a perfect ensemble.

“They’re beautiful.”

He held them out to me. “I picked them from Keira’s garden.”

The gesture went straight to my heart.

“I know how much you loved it. So I wanted to bring it to you.”

My tears bubbled because it was so thoughtful. No one had ever spent so much time trying to make me happy. “Thank you…”

“You’re very welcome.” His eyes took me in, but before he stared at me for too long, he looked away. “You look lovely.”

‘Thank you.” I felt my cheeks blush.