I want to go to the estate, but I’m afraid.
He’s ignoring me. He doesn’t want to speak to me or see me.
So, if I went to see him…forced a confrontation…I’m scared of what he’d say.
On a sigh, I push my key in the door of my apartment and unlock it.
I gingerly push the door open.
We officially have our apartment back. This is my first time being back here since the shooting.
Cece couldn’t face coming back. Honestly, I didn’t want to either.
But we’ve both run out of clean clothes, and we’re in this mess because of me, so coming here was the least I could do for her.
I step inside the hallway, and I’m instantly catapulted back to that day—when I walked in here, happy with a bottle of champagne in my hand.
Back when I wasn’t someone who’d taken another person’s life. Even if the bastard did deserve it.
I walk slowly down the hallway. My eyes catch on the living room door.
It’s closed.
I stand and stare at it.
“Daisy.”
I spin around at the sound of Kas’s soft voice.
He’s standing in the open doorway.
He looks tired. Darkness circles his eyes. His clothes look wrinkled.
And he’s still the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
I part my dry lips. “I called…”
“I know.” He looks away at the wall. “I’m sorry…” He lifts and then drops his shoulder, seemingly at a loss for words.
His eyes come back to mine. There’s an almost pleading look to them.
“I-I heard that you’d gotten out on bail.”
“Yeah.” He pushes his hand through his hair. “My lawyer says I’m looking at self-defense.”
“So, you’re getting off?” I hold my breath.
“Looks that way.”
“Oh, thank God.” I press my hand to my chest, a breath rushing out of me. I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted. “I-I don’t know how to thank you for what you did.”
He holds my eyes, shaking his head, silently telling me to stop.
I bite my lip.
“Is everything going to be all right with Jesse?” he asks. “Are you still allowed to see him?”
“Yes.” I nod, a smile touching my lips. “Before…I didn’t get to tell you, but right before what happened”—my eyes drift back to the living room door—“Anne had called, said they were giving me weekend visitation rights.”
“Were?”
I look back at him. His face is tight with worry.
“Still are.” I give him a soft smile. “I spoke to Anne. She was really good about everything. Brilliant in fact. And, with the truth coming out—did you hear about Jason?”
He nods slowly. Something in his eyes makes my stomach shift.
Did he…
Surely not.
“Jason committed suicide,” I continue, watching him with hawk-like eyes. “He slit his wrists. He also left a note—a confession—clearing my name.”
His eyes move back to the wall. He nods. “I’m glad the truth finally came out.”
I bite my lip, fighting against the words that I’m burning to ask him.
The fight doesn’t last long.
“Was this you, Kas? Did you force Jason to write that letter and then…kill him, making it look like suicide?”
He exhales a sad-sounding breath. Then, his eyes move slowly back to mine. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to protect you.”
I suck in a breath. Tears fill my eyes. “Thank you,” I whisper.
Who is this man? I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I’m glad I found him—or, as the case is, that he found me.
I can’t even bring myself to feel any sadness or remorse for Jason. He put me in prison and then sold me out to his brother. He had to have known what Damien was going to do to me.
Blowing out a breath, I press the back of my hand to my eyes, drying away the tears. “And thank you for what you said to Anne about me.”
His eyes flash with confusion.
“You spoke to her on the telephone before this all happened.”
“I only spoke the truth.”
“Regardless, it helped a lot.”
He shifts on his feet. “So, things are looking good for Jesse coming home?”
“Yes.” I smile. “Even with…what happened. The fact that I’m”—I stall on the word—“
innocent
of the crime I was put in prison for and that my name is in the process of officially being cleared, I guess it holds a lot of clout with Social Services.” I bind my hands together in front of me. “They no longer see me as a risk to Jesse…even though what happened…happened. Because Damien and Jason are dead, I guess they see it as being over. I think.”
“It is over,” his words are spoken softly.
But, for some reason, they hurt.
Almost like he’s saying
we
are over…
“Nothing that happened that day was your fault, Daisy. You saved us…you saved
me
. So, don’t ever blame yourself for what happened. Don’t hold on to it because it will eat you up.” He sounds like he’s speaking from experience.
I guess he is.
“Damien was always going to die. You just beat me to it.” The corner of his lip tips up into a half-smile, making me smile.
Then, it drops when I remember the reason I’m smiling.
I killed a man. Just like Kas has.
I guess we have more in common now than we ever did before.
Mirroring him, I wrap my arms over my chest. “How did you know that Damien was here that day?” I ask him the question that’s been plaguing me for a while now.
“I didn’t. It was just lucky timing.”
“So, why were you here?”
“To see you.”
“Why?”
He sighs. “Because being without you just didn’t feel like an option.”
My heart constricts at his words. But something tells me there’s a
but
in those words.
“And now?” I ask quietly.
He blows out a breath, pushing his hands into his pockets, his eyes making friends with the carpet. “And, now…it still doesn’t feel like an option, but…”
And there it is.
I tighten my arms around my suddenly cold chest. “But?”
He lifts his eyes to mine, and what I see in them makes my heart break.
“I’m leaving, Daisy. Once the thing is sorted with the police, I’m leaving.”
He’s leaving.
“Oh.” I step back, needing the distance, though wanting to be closer to him now more than ever.
He exhales roughly. Freeing his arm, he shoves a hand through his hair. “You’re so close to getting Jesse back, and being with me, it would hinder that. I might be close to getting off with self-defense, but in the eyes of the law, I killed a man. I
have
killed men. In cold blood. There’s no coming back from that, Daisy.”
“I’ve killed someone, too.”
Fierce black eyes meet with mine. “You need to forget that ever happened.”
“You want me to forget when you won’t allow yourself to forget?”
“It’s different.”
“How?”
“Because I fucking deserve to remember everything. You don’t.”
“Bullshit!” I snap. “This is bullshit! You’re leaving me here, and I’m just supposed to accept that? Fuck you, Kas.”
“Daisy…” He takes a step toward me. “You know I’m right. If I stay here, you won’t get Jesse back. They’ll use me as a reason to keep him from you—”
“No, they won’t. Anne said—”
“Daisy,” he reasons. Taking my face in his hands, he forces my eyes up to his. Tears are filling them. “I don’t want to be—I
can’t
be the reason you don’t get Jesse back. You’d resent me. End up hating me. I couldn’t bear it if that happened.”
He’s right. I know he’s right. Just the selfish part of me doesn’t want to let him go.
The selfish part of me wants it all.
Wants him and Jesse.
But I know, in the real world, the two things just don’t go together.
Jesse has to come first. He will always come first.
Turning, I step away from Kas.
“Your name is clear,” he says from behind me. “You can do anything. Go anywhere. Make a better life for yourself and Jesse. You don’t need a screwed up fuck like me holding you back.”
I spin around, ready to argue, but he holds a hand up, stopping me.
“And I need time, Daisy.” His eyes hold mine, a thousand emotions running through them. None of them are good. “I need to find out who I am.” His words cut me down. “I’ve spent the last seven years of my life chasing revenge, being obsessed with it…and, now…” He blows out a breath, looking lost. “I need time,” he whispers.
He’s leaving. He’s really leaving.
I want to curl up into a ball on the floor and cry.
But I don’t.
I do what I always do. I hold steady. “Where will you go?” I ask quietly.
“Greece. If you still need the job at the estate, I’m hiring someone to run it—”
I shake my head.
I couldn’t go there every day and see that place. See the bed where he once made love to me…
“If you need money,” he says.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I know you will be.”
I lift my eyes to him to see a sad smile touching his lips.
And I don’t look away. I keep staring at him, soaking in every detail of him, knowing it’s the last time I’m ever going to see him.
And he stares right back at me.
My heart is beating painfully. I’m slowly dying on the inside.
I have to get away from him. I need to stop feeling this way.
But I’m not ready to leave him yet.
Deep down, I know I’ll never be ready.
“So…” I hear myself saying, breaking our quiet.
Kas doesn’t speak. He just walks over to me. And, when he reaches me, he takes my face in his hands. His eyes roam my features, like he’s drinking me in.
My mouth is dry. There are hot tears behind my eyes, and my throat feels like it’s about to crack.
“Daisy…” he whispers my name. He slowly brings his mouth to mine, only closing his eyes when our lips meet.
He softly kisses me, tasting me, letting his tongue slide along mine.
Tears fill my eyes as I memorize the feel of him against me, the way he kisses me.
Then, he deepens the kiss, clutching me to him. And I match him stroke for stroke.
“I love you,” he breathes against my lips. “That will never change, no matter where I am.”
I love you, too.
Don’t leave me, please.
The words are on the tip of my tongue.
But I never say them.
I have to let him go. For his sake. For Jesse’s. And for mine.
“Will I ever see you again?” I breathe through the agony.
He tugs me into his arms and hugs me tight. “Thank you,” he whispers, answering my question without actually saying the words. “You brought me back to life, Daisy, and for that, I will never be able to repay you.”
I’m never going to see him again.
My heart splinters in two.
He removes his arms from around me, leaving me cold. He stares down at me and gives me a sad smile. “Good-bye, Daisy Smith.”
I swallow past my tears. “Good-bye, Kastor Matis,” I whisper.
He touches my cheek with his hand one last time, and then he turns and walks out of my apartment and out of my life, taking a piece of my broken heart with him.
Ep
ilogue
Three and a Half Years Later
Seeing the last customer out, bidding them good-bye, I shut the door and turn the sign over to read,
Closed
. Walking back around the counter, I drop my tired butt down onto a stool.
It’s been a long day.
A hard day.
Jesse’s starting university.
I drove him there this morning, so he could get settled in the dorm.
So, we’d packed my car up with his stuff, and I’d tried not to cry the whole time.
Yep, I have a car. I learned how to drive a few years ago. So much easier having a car, and I’m going to need it with Jesse being in Birmingham.
I was so proud of him when he got accepted. I might have wanted him to stay in London, but he’d loved Birmingham when we visited earlier in the year, and they have a really good law school.
Yep, that’s right. My boy wants to be a lawyer.
When he told me what he wanted to be, I won’t deny that I was surprised. He’d never shown an interest in the law before.
And the law hadn’t exactly been a friend to me over the years.
But whatever he wanted to do, I would be happy with it. I’d support him.
Then, he told me why he wanted to be a lawyer.
He said that the law had failed me in so many ways. My lawyer had failed me. He said there were too many shit lawyers out there, and he wanted to be one of the good ones. He wants to make a difference. Make sure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to anyone else.
I got a little choked up at that.
Okay, I might have cried.
I’m a weepy bitch nowadays.
So, I got my boy settled in his room and helped him unpack his things. Then, I left him to get to know his roommates.
I might have cried a little bit then too.
Okay, I held on to him for ages and sobbed before managing to pry myself away from him.
Once I got in my car, it took me a good fifteen minutes to be able to drive, as my eyes were blurry from all the crying.
But my boy has grown up. He’s a man now.
And I’m…alone.
Well, I have Cece. But it’s not the same.
So, with my bird having flown from the nest, I drove back to London and came back to work. I was supposed to have the day off, but I didn’t want to go home to an empty house. So, I came in and helped out Jasmine, one of my part-time employees.
That’s right. I have employees. I am the proud owner of a little chic coffee shop called Thessa’s.
And, yes, I named it after the place where Kas is from. Well, he’s from Thessaloníki, but it’s not exactly easy to say, so I went with Thessa’s, and I think it has a nice ring to it.
After my name was cleared, Cece encouraged me to pursue compensation for wrongful imprisonment.
I wasn’t sure. I didn’t care about the money. I was just glad to be free of the blame. To have that black mark taken from my name and to be able to apply for jobs without having to tick that box was amazing in itself.
But then Cece pointed out that I could put whatever money I got toward Jesse’s future.