Unveil (11 page)

I could hardly believe it was almost March. Time sure did fly. And in only a few short months I’d graduate from high school. The thought of that hurt my stomach. When school started I had plans to move to California after graduation. I still could do that, but I had wished Isaac would be part of the equation. Now, I wasn’t so sure. Although we had talked a few times recently, things were definitely not back to normal between us. I wasn’t sure they would be again.

The situation with my dad had brought home how much I needed Isaac in my life. Even though Tanner was always around, I couldn’t shake how much I missed Isaac. After the detective showed up with the information about my dad, I had to share it with him. No matter how complicated my feelings were for Tanner, my feelings for Isaac had always been definitive. I knew I loved him with my whole heart. Going through major life events and not sharing them with Isaac was downright painful.

But our conversations were awkward, colored in pain and betrayal. Not to mention the fact that there was a looming elephant in the room. While Tanner’s name never came up, I knew he was in both of our minds.

“Why don’t I throw you a party?” Mom patted her curly hair.

“I don’t know. That seems like a lot of work.” Besides, who would I invite? My only real friends were Haley and Tanner. Not much of a party. I guessed I could invite Janna and Rick.

“I don’t mind. You only turn eighteen once.” Mom stood, smiling. “It wouldn’t have to be anything big. We could have a barbecue right here in the backyard.”

The idea just kept getting worse and worse.

But Mom looked so happy and she had been trying so hard that I didn’t want to burst her bubble.

“Okay. That sounds fine.”

She squealed and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. “Great. Your birthday lands on a Friday night. So invite all your friends over, honey. We’ll have so much fun.”

Her enthusiasm was contagious and I found myself looking forward to the party. I imagined the backyard filled with balloons and crepe paper. Tanner, Haley, Rick and Janna would be there. Mom would burn the food but we could always get full on chips and dip. I imagined everyone coming with gift bags filled with tissue paper. My heart lifted at the prospect. I had never really had a birthday party before.

As the fantasy unfolded, I realized there was one thing that would make my birthday perfect.

If Isaac could be there.

Later that evening, Haley and I sat cross-legged on my bed with green masks covering our faces. It felt like I had wet cement plastered on my skin. I could barely move, let alone breathe. She wore a pair of pink flannel pajamas and I sported my usual t-shirt and sweat pants.

Attempting to speak, I asked her when I could wash the goop off, but it came out sounding like, “ref I cnn wsh a goorfump.”

“What?” She narrowed her eyes and the mask split, causing a giant crack across her cheek.

That was it. I had to take the stuff off my face before I cried. I knew it sounded crazy but it was making me feel claustrophobic. Racing into the bathroom, I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face. Lime green swirled in the sink, disappearing into the drain.

The feeling in my skin returned and I breathed deeply. Haley came in right after me and washed hers off, too. Both our faces were red and shiny.

“Do you think it worked?” she asked, appraising her reflection.

I shrugged. “We look shinier than before.”

Haley giggled. “Is that what we were going for?”

“I don’t think so.” I chuckled. We made our way back to my room. I sat on my bed and dove into a bag of chips. The saltiness danced on my tongue as I took a bite.

“That’s so cool that your mom’s throwing you a party.” Haley stuck her hand in the chip bag and rooted around.

“Yeah.” I smiled. “It should be fun.”

“So, who are you inviting? Other than me, of course.” She winked playfully.

“I don’t know. I was thinking of Tanner, Janna and Rick. I really don’t have any other friends.” I bit into a crunchy chip. After swallowing, I added, “I wish Isaac could come, but I know that’s a long-shot.”

“Oh, really?” Haley’s eyebrows bounced clear up to her forehead. “I guess I just assumed you were over him now that you’re spending all your time with Tanner.”

I shook my head. “It’s just so complicated, Hales.”

“Sounds like it.” She rolled her eyes. “Man, I wish I had your problem.”

I swatted at her leg. “Oh stop. It’s not that great, believe me.”

“You’re never going to make me feel sorry for you, Kenzie. You have two hot guys after you. It’s every girl’s dream.”

Leaning my head against the bed frame, I let out a long sigh. “I know. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just pick one. Why can’t I just go with one and forget about the other?”

Haley wiped her greasy fingers on the thigh of her pajama pants. “I don’t know. I mean, you must have stronger feelings for one of them, right?”

I bit my lip. “I’m not sure. I mean, I thought I did when I chose Isaac. But then when Tanner and I kissed-”

“Whoa,” Haley interrupted me. “Time out. You and Tanner kissed? You didn’t tell me that!”

I blushed. “Yeah, it was the same day my dad took me. I guess everything else that happened that day sorta overshadowed that.”

“Yeah.” Haley reached out and squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“But that day when he kissed me, I really felt like I only wanted him. Then again, I was in a pretty dark place and he was there to comfort me.”

“What happened after that? I mean, has it happened again?” Haley leaned forward, her eyes wide.

“No. In fact, he kind of pushed me away afterward.”

“Why?”

“He said that I only choose him when he’s rescuing me, but that the rest of the time I choose Isaac.”

“Is that true?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. All I know is that it would be so easy to just choose Tanner. I mean, he lives here. I see him every day. Isaac is all the way in California. Tanner seems like the logical choice.”

“But is he the one you want?”

I pondered that for a moment but came up empty. If only it were that easy. “I wish I could have them both.”

Haley giggled. “Well, that’s not gonna happen.”

Wasn’t that the truth? The problem was that I couldn’t imagine my life without either of them.

“Ring around the rosy.”

My ears perked.

“Pocket full of posy.”

It was coming from outside my window. I froze. “Hales, do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” She wore a blank expression.

“Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” I stood up, forcing a relaxed smile. “Let’s go watch a movie in the family room.”

“Okay.” Haley hopped up.

As I left the bedroom, I saw the silhouette of a little boy in my window. Shuddering, I slammed the door closed and raced down the hallway after Haley.

Fingers crawled over my skin, voices sang over me. I fought my way out of a deep sleep to hone in on the source. When my eyelids fluttered open, I struggled to adjust to the darkness of my bedroom. I heard Haley’s snores on the ground beside me where I knew she was curled up in her sleeping bag.

“Ring around the rosy.”

I held my breath. A hand brushed my arm. I flinched.

“A pocket full of posy.”

Hot air puffed along my neck.

“Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.”

His face was only an inch from mine, so close that I had to back up to keep myself from bumping into his forehead. My heart clattered in my chest so fiercely it hurt. I stumbled away from the evil looking boy and jumped off my bed. Bounding over Haley, I raced from the room.

I could hear his footsteps behind me. I turned and bumped into something soft and warm. When I looked to see what it was, I almost fainted.

“Hello, Kenzie.” Dad smiled his toothless grin. His rank scent permeated off of him like that stinky kid in Charlie Brown.

Gasping, I spun away from him and right into the strange boy. His lips curved into a creepy smile and his eyes blazed. I backed up.

“You can’t get away, Kenzie. How many times do I have to tell you.”

Wesley.

Hands clamped over my arm. They smelled like smoke but felt like ice. I flailed and kicked, hoping he’d release his grip on me, but it only tightened. A tongue darted into my ear. “When will you learn, Kenzie? It’s no use fighting me.”

I shot up in bed. My sheets tangled around me. Sweat covered my face, causing my hair to stick to my forehead and cheeks. Haley stared at me, eyes wide.

“Are you okay?” She reached up and smoothed down her disheveled red hair. Her pale skin was almost translucent in the soft morning light.

I nodded. My heart still beat like crazy, and I struggled to catch my breath.

“You were screaming, Kenzie. It must have been a terrible nightmare.”

“Yeah, it was.” I leaned back onto my pillow and exhaled.

“Wanna talk about it?” Haley peered up at me, resting her chin on my bed.

“Not even a little bit.” I pried the sticky hair from my face.

“Fair enough.” She glanced over at the alarm clock. “Are you going to church this morning?”

At the thought of the cozy chapel, my body warmed. Church was exactly the place I needed to go. “Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll go with you.”

I rolled over on my side and propped up on my elbow. “Really?”

She nodded.

“But you never want to go to church.”

“Well, I do today.”

I smiled. “Cool.”

It was afternoon. Haley had just gone home and I sat in the front yard enjoying the warm spring-like day. Mom and I didn’t have a nice large front porch with a swing like Grandma, so I had to sit in the grass. Feathery reeds tickled my flesh. A breeze blew over me, bringing with it the scent of sweet flowers.

Mrs. Phillips, the old lady who lived across, the street ambled out of her house. She wore a sweat suit and blindingly white tennis shoes. Her silver hair sparkled in the sun. She threw me a wave and I returned it. She had always been a nice lady but I didn’t see her much. She rarely got out. It looked like she had a visitor today, though. A lovely young lady walked beside her. She was tall and slender with soft blonde curls. Her face was pale and serene. She kept a hand on Mrs. Phillips’ shoulder and guided her to the sidewalk.

After they took a few steps, I saw Mrs. Phillip’s ankle bend inward at an awkward angle. She teetered and started to topple over. Instinctively, I hopped up. Not that I could have gotten all the way across the street in time to help her.

Fortunately, her visitor caught her before she fell. I heaved a sigh of relief as the woman hoisted Mrs. Phillips back up and helped her steady herself. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened if she had fallen. She must have been at least eighty.

Watching them maneuver down the block, I sat back down. I stretched my pale legs out, hoping the sun rays would give me some color. As I wiggled my bare toes, I caught a glimpse of Tanner’s car making its way toward my house. He parked in front, cut the engine and stepped out of his car. He wore a blue t-shirt and jean shorts. He smiled at me from behind his sunglasses.

“Hey, what’s up?” He sat down next to me.

“Nothing much. Just enjoying this wonderful day.”

“Yeah, it sure beats the rain. Haley went home?”

“Yeah.”

“It was pretty cool that she went to church with you.”

I nodded. “I know. I was totally surprised. Afterward I asked her what she thought, and she said it was okay. I think I’m finally rubbing off on her. She told me that she’s noticed how much I’ve changed and it’s intrigued her. Mom said sort of the same thing to me recently.”

“Yeah, Scarlet said something similar to me as well.”

It was the first time he’d brought her up lately. It perked my interest. I wished I could see his eyes, but they were shaded behind dark lenses.

“It was so weird when you guys were hanging out again. What made you turn to her after all you’d been through?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was lonely when you chose Isaac and she was familiar and comfortable. It was just easy, I guess.”

My stomach knotted. I thought of my conversation with Haley the night before. Hadn’t I said something similar about Tanner?

“But she wanted to get back together,” he continued, “and I just couldn’t do that.”

“Why not?” My reflection stared back at me from in his glasses.

“My heart belongs to someone else, so it just wouldn’t be right.”

When Tanner left, I stayed out in the front yard and mulled over what he had said. It should have made me happy that he still loved me; that his heart belonged to me. But instead, it confused me further. Why did my heart belong to two people? Why was it divided? Sometimes when I was with Tanner I felt like I wanted to only be with him. It seemed like I finally had my answer.

Like I’d told Haley the night before – it would be so simple to just embrace a relationship with Tanner. I was sure that if I did, I would eventually forget about Isaac. Tanner was a great guy and I knew I loved him. But then I’d talk to Isaac on the phone and my feelings for him were so strong they bowled me over. In those moments, I knew I wanted only him and I was so ready to make the commitment and let go of Tanner.

Ugh. I groaned and threw my head back, tired of trying to figure it out. It was so confusing, it made my head spin. I felt like a character on a soap opera. If only I had people writing a script for my life it would be so much less complicated.

The sun still beamed down on me even though it was getting later. I noticed my legs and chest were turning red. I probably should have put on sun-block but it didn’t seem that hot when I first went outside.

Mrs. Kelley drove up and pulled into her garage. She kept her face forward, careful not to look in my direction. After our conversation on that rainy day, she had completely avoided me. I wondered what she was hiding. Clearly she had been rattled by my questions about the strange child.

Needing to cool off, I went inside. It wasn’t much cooler in there, so I clicked on the fan. Cool air blew from it. I sat on the couch and pulled my cell out of my pocket, deciding to call Isaac before I lost my nerve. Even though I hadn’t really made a decision, one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted Isaac at my birthday party. In fact, maybe seeing him in person again would solidify my feelings. When his voicemail clicked on, I groaned. After the beep, I left a message.