“Thanks Josie, I know I look awful. I’m sure you have heard plenty of stories of what happened yesterday and I promise you, some day soon, I will tell you all about my version. Right now, it’s still too fresh and well frankly; I just don’t want to talk about it.”
Josie smiled. Her bright green eyes sparkled as she patted the back of Rachel’s hand. “Honey, the best advice I can give you is do what you do best. Write it down and then put it behind you. You can hide or you can come out and face your fears head on.”
Rachel looked at the kindly face with the twinkling green eyes and felt her face turn up into a smile. Shaking her head, she looked across the counter at Josie. “Where were you when I spent thousands of dollars on a psychiatrist?”
Josie tossed her head back and cackled. “Why, I’ve been right here; have been since before you were born. I don’t need a degree to know what’s what.”
“I need to shop now,” Rachel said, laughing a little. “Thanks, Josie, you somehow managed to make me feel a whole lot better.”
Josie just nodded her head and went back to crocheting the afghan she was working on.
Rachel went up and down the aisles filling her shopping cart.
Josie is right. I am going to write
this story. It’ll be good therapy for me. Now I just need to work on the romance part of the whole scenario. I just hope it has a happy ending.
She purchased her groceries and hurried out of the store.
Rachel had a headache from all of the construction racket and her back throbbed terribly. Roof work overhead, cabinet work in the kitchen and the tractor outside were driving her crazy. Refusing to take any more pain pills, she popped two aspirin instead. She took Brutus for a short walk in the woods. It was peaceful and quiet. There where no hammers hammering or drills drilling, just the calming sound of water flowing in the creek.
Rachel found herself walking on the old fire trail that led to Todd’s house and beyond to the giant oak tree. She wondered how far it really was and chastised herself for not paying closer attention to the distance.
Todd watched her approach as he drove down the trail, his system was in turmoil. Not sure how to approach the situation, he took a deep breath. She smiled and waved to him and Brutus barked his hello. “Hi, neighbor,” he said as he climbed out of the truck and kissed her.
“Hi, Todd, what are you doing out here?”
“I was coming to see you; Jeff has your driveway blocked…Rachel.” There was no way around it. He needed to get it off his chest and find out if what Jake had told him was true or not. “Ed gave us a full confession. He’s trying to plea bargain for a reduced sentence. The judge has scheduled his hearing for early next week.”
Her voice trembled as she asked, “What about Jake?”
“Looks like a locked and padded cell for him. He’s recovering from the gunshot wounds and in good condition. He continues to ramble about being the King of Prussia and how royalty doesn’t associate with commoners. He also continues to say you are his fiancé. Is that true? Are you still involved with him?”
“No, I broke things off with him months ago. Like I told you the other night, I caught him in bed with another woman. He never proposed to me. Even if he had, I wouldn’t have accepted. He thought his behavior was totally acceptable and that I should be grateful for what he had done for me and accept that he was going to continue to sleep with other women. I was supposed to meekly fall in line. He never wanted me for a wife, he wanted a trophy.”
“You never told me about him, Rachel. Was I a rebound fling?” he said angrily.
“No, I…” Rachel stopped and took a deep breath as his question became clear. Glaring, she told him, “Go to hell, Todd. I never asked you about your past relationships. It is none of your business. I can’t do this anymore. I have never met a more untrusting individual in my entire life!” Rachel stormed off leaving him standing in the road watching her. She held her shoulders straight as tears streamed down her cheeks.
He will not have the satisfaction of seeing me cry over him.
And to think, I was going to tell him that I love him. It’s very obvious the man doesn’t trust me. How could I have been such a fool to think we might have a chance together?
Todd watched her storm off and wondered if he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
* * * *
Rachel buried herself in small projects around the cabin. Working on the house kept her days busy with only fleeting thoughts of Todd. The nights, on the other hand, were long and lonely.
After weeks of hiding and healing, she was outside weeding the flower beds when Jessica stopped by to visit her. “I haven’t seen you in a while. I wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”
Rachel gave her a weak smile. “I’m doing alright. I’ve been working like a mad woman on this place.”
“It’s showing too. The place is looking fabulous. Did Jeff take care of your wall too?” she asked as she sat down on it.
“Yeah, thanks for setting me up with these guys, all of them are great. Jeff took care of the driveway and repaired the wall. Look, no more loose rocks. Sam is a genius when it comes to woodworking. Come inside and take a look at the cabinets,” she said, leading Jessica into the kitchen to show off her new glass front cabinet doors. “My countertops are still on order but should be here within the next couple weeks or so. Tony had the roof done in a week. Two days to strip it, and the next four he brought his crew. And before you can say
viola,
I had a new roof. I was so impressed with everyone, I gave them all bonuses.”
“How are you and Todd doing?” Jessica asked even though she knew the answer.
Rachel turned and looked at her friend. “There is no Todd and me, Jess. He doesn’t trust me. He believed everything Jake told him and I can’t convince him otherwise. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me.”
“He’s as miserable as you are; grouchy too. When he’s not at work, he’s grumbling around the house.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, it must be difficult for you to live with him right now.”
Jessica shook her head. “I don’t know who is more stubborn, him or you. You’re in love with the man. You told me so yourself. I don’t understand why you both have to be so difficult.”
“I told you Jess, he doesn’t trust me. He all but accused me of knowing about the necklace. I was beginning to think he thought I really had something to do with it. Then to make matters worse, it has to be my ex-boyfriend behind it. Talk about adding fuel to the fire. I saw him a few weeks ago. Like I said, he talked to Jake while he was in the hospital. Jake told him that I was his fiancé. Todd chose to believe him over me. I’m not willing to let him tear out what is left of my heart.”
“You need to stop right there! He knows you didn’t have anything to do with this mess. It was all circumstantial. He’s a cop. It’s his nature to be suspicious. But I do know he cares about you. Look, I didn’t come over here to defend him or argue with you. Two people I care about are miserable because they choose to be. As your friend, I am concerned. You’ve been holed up in here for weeks now. As for Todd, he’s my brother. I love him dearly and want to see him happy, but I can see he’s not going to make this easy on either of you.”
“I started writing a new book. I’m basing it on what happened here. The title is going to be
Canyon Jewel
.”
A smile came over Jessica’s face as her eyes lit up. “That’s great, Rachel. I’m happy for you and also excited as a fan. I love your books.”
Rachel laughed. “I’ll make sure you get an advance copy. But seriously, Jessica, I’m fine. I have plenty of food and firewood. I’ll surface when I’m ready. Once I get busy writing, I’ve been known to disappear for long periods of time. A few weeks are nothing. I’m told it’s what I do best,” she said, mimicking Josie’s earlier comment.
“I can’t change your mind about talking to Todd?” she pleaded.
“Jessica, I know you love your brother but… Stay out of it. Please?”
“Alright, I’ll go. I’ve got to be at work soon anyway. But do me a favor. Don’t hide from the world. There are other people, myself for one, who do believe you and care about you. My brother can be a royal jerk and I’ll be the first to vouch for that. I know, I know, I’ll stay out of it. Just think about what I’ve said before you write him off completely. I’ll see you around.”
Rachel went into her office after Jessica left. Brutus was sprawled on the floor sound asleep. No longer interested in weeding the flower beds, she wanted to work. She sat down at her desk and began typing. The story flowed from her fingers and onto the pages as if her life depended on it. Exorcising the terror, grief and anger was good therapy, but when she came to the romance of the story, the wounds were still too fresh and open. She remembered the pain and heart wrenching she went through the last time she saw Todd.
Life goes on Rachel,
she told herself on a sigh.
Rachel continued to type. Page after page spilled out of her. Even though Jessica had asked her not to, she closed herself off from the rest of the outside world. She had a story to tell. After more weeks of relentless working, rewrites and editing, it was complete. She surfaced from her cave to take Brutus for a walk in the woods. She stayed off the fire trails, not wanting to run the risk of seeing Todd. She noticed the trees had shed all their leaves in her weeks of hibernation and the wind was blowing colder. Increasing her pace to ward off the chill, she followed the creek wherever it chose to lead. Heading back towards the cabin, she felt winded, refreshed, and almost ready to face the world again.
* * * *
She was packed and ready to go the following morning. Brutus was beside himself with excitement once she mentioned the word “ride”. He knew he was going somewhere in the truck and wouldn’t settle down. She double-checked everything, making sure all the windows were closed and locked, and that she wasn’t leaving anything necessary behind. “We’re only going to be gone a few days, boy, please try to settle down,” she said jokingly to her wildly excited companion. “I want to hand deliver the manuscript to Dorothy and then we can go and spend Thanksgiving with Dad. Are you ready?” He barked in response and ran out the door.
Chapter 15
“Are you going to be like this all the time now?” Jessica demanded of Todd.
“Like what?” he grumbled.
“Fine. Feel sorry for yourself, by yourself. Just remember, you brought this on all yourself.”
“She wasn’t honest with me, Jess. She should have told me!”
“Did you tell her about Donna Stimball?”
“No.”
“Did you tell her about Mary Ringer?”
“No. Jessica, we were in high school then! What does that have to do with now?”
“My point is, you didn’t feel the need to tell her about your past relationships. But you feel the need to hold hers against her. And, brother dear, I hate to point this out to you, but you were quite serious about Miss Donna Stimball. I thought wedding bells were going to be in the air.”
“I thought I was in love with her. After a while, I realized I was in love with the idea of being in love.”
“That’s some very deep philosophy. Is that what you feel for Rachel? An idea?”
“No, it’s not. Rachel is warm, funny, has a strong center even though she doesn’t seem know it, she’s also creative and beautiful.”
“Todd, talk to her. I saw her a few weeks ago. She was just as miserable as you are. She’s hurting. She thinks you don’t trust her.”
“That’s ridiculous. What ever gave her that idea? Oh, I guess I did, didn’t I? I couldn’t help it. I was jealous and I was furious. She was in a relationship with someone who was going to keep her locked up like a…a trophy.”
Just saying the word reminded him of his last conversation with Rachel. She had said the same thing. Jake had wanted to keep her, like a trophy.
Jessica brought him back out of his reverie.
“She doesn’t know that! You showed her distrust and anger. I’m surprised you didn’t come home with a handprint across your face.”
He was shocked. Never once did he think about how his jealousy appeared to Rachel. The little green monster flew off his perch on Todd’s shoulder and disappeared. He felt better about himself than he had in weeks. “I’m going over there now. Maybe there’s still a chance we can work things out,” he said, smiling at Jessica as he grabbed his coat on the way out the door.
* * * *
“Sometimes they need a shove out of the nest,” Jessica said, shaking her head and watching him from the doorway.
* * * *
Todd was rehearsing what he was going to say on the short drive to Rachel’s house. He was thoroughly convinced she would understand why he had been as upset as he was, once he explained everything to her. Rachel was kind-hearted, she would accept his apology and they could happily move on in their life together. He pulled up in her drive and hopped out of his truck. Knocking on the door, he waited for Brutus to start barking. Nothing but silence greeted his ears. Circling the back of the cabin, the events of the last weeks were still fresh in his mind. She had hung curtains in her bedroom window blocking the view, but from what he could see, the room was empty. He looked in the window of the next bedroom, it was still completely empty but for paint cans and supplies. The next window was in her office, maybe she was in there working and didn’t hear the door. Or maybe Brutus was sleeping. He looked in the window and he knew the answer immediately. She was gone.