Unveiling The Sky (21 page)

“I think she felt that way about me too.” She cut me off before I could respond. “But I don’t, Gabe. I know I’m just jumping right into things here, but I don’t think this is what you want out of life. I think you’re just afraid to be reminded of her. But one day that will change and you’ll come back to me. You’ll come back to our life. I believe that.” She reached across the table and settled her hand onto mine. I had just started removing my hand and opened my mouth to dissuade her when—

“Gabe?”

I clenched my fist (still under her hand) and closed my eyes at the sound of the voice I had wanted to hear for two weeks, and now I was hearing it at the worst possible moment. How much of that had she heard? What did she think was happening here?

I turned around, extracting my hand in the process, and found her awkwardly shifting on her feet as she clutched her purse to her shoulder. “Hey.” I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but she wasn’t looking at me. Glancing back toward Miranda, I realized they were both waiting for me to introduce them.

“Miranda, this is my friend, Alara.” I waved a hand in Alara’s direction before gesturing to Miranda. “Miranda’s an old friend of the family.” Both girls looked a little stunned at how I introduced them, but they quickly schooled their expressions and gave each other an awkward smile.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just saw you and thought…” Alara trailed off and shook her head. “Well it was nice to meet you, Miranda. I’ll, uh, see you around, Gabe.” She was out the door before I could respond. I turned around, preparing to make a pathetic excuse for leaving so I could follow Alara, when Miranda’s glare stopped me cold.

“An old family friend?
Really
?”

“That’s the truth.” I shrugged and pulled out my wallet.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, among other things.”

“Miranda, I appreciate the apology and I know you are saying all these things because you care about me. But I need you to hear what I’m saying. We are
not
going to get back together and I am
not
going to change my mind. I hate being so blunt but, like I said months ago, I’d feel worse if I gave you any kind of false hope. We were friends long before we started dating and I want us both to be happy, and even if you can’t see it now, that won’t be with each other.”

She had opened her mouth, and based on that spark in her eye it was going to be to argue, but I quickly cut her off. “I’m sorry, Miranda. I gotta go, but it was good to see you.” I leaned over to kiss her forehead before tossing money on the table and walking out. When I stepped outside I looked up and down both sides of the street only to be met with disappointment. Alara was nowhere in sight, and I had a feeling that even if she was standing right in front of me, I wouldn’t have felt any closer.

…

Naomi: Sher’s having a Halloween party tomorrow night. Wanna come?

I frowned as I stared down at the phone. I desperately wanted to go and talk to Alara. Since seeing her yesterday afternoon, that was all I’d wanted to do, but this wasn’t the kind of thing to do over the phone, it needed to be in person. One problem… I worked tomorrow night. That’s the unfortunate thing about working in the restaurant industry, when you were new, you got stuck with most of the holiday shifts. And since Halloween happened to fall on a Friday, I was scheduled to be there till two a.m.

I was sitting in the living room with Derek as he played video games and I messed around on the Internet. He had just died when his phone started ringing. “Yeah?” he answered distractedly as he geared up for another game. “Why wouldn’t I go?” He stopped messing with the remote and turned to look at me, holding the phone away from his ear. “Naomi said she just sent you a text.” He nodded his head toward my phone.

I blew out a resigned breath. “Yeah, I can’t go. I have work.”

He looked at me for a couple seconds before returning to the call. “Yeah, sorry, Naomi. I’m not gonna be able to make it, I gotta cover someone at work.”

“Who’re you covering?” My eyebrows were already lifted when he hung up and turned to face me.

“You, dumbass.”

“I can’t let you do that.” Despite my words, I couldn’t help the relief and hope coursing through me.

Derek shook his head before he laughed and started another game. “Yeah, Romeo, you can. She’s gonna be there. And if that stupid, lovesick look on your face is any indication, you need to see her.”

I smiled as I grabbed my phone and quickly typed out a response.

Me: absolutely! what time?

Naomi: Lol. Pretty eager, huh?

Me: maybe…

Naomi: Don’t worry. I won’t tell ;) Party starts at 9.

Me: I’ll be there.

After I left Gabe yesterday I realized how much I had to lose. I could push him away now to avoid losing him later, but that wouldn’t stop me from getting hurt. I was hurt
now
. All pushing him away was doing was keeping me from having any kind of happiness. It was such a cliché, but God, it was true.

I was breaking my own heart.

Wiping the few stray tears that had escaped, I made my way outside into the cooling Arizona afternoon. I sat down and closed my eyes, letting the bright burning sun wrap its warmth around me like a blanket against the slight breeze in the air, and I thought. And thought. And thought… I thought so much and in so many circles that I was giving myself a headache. I began rubbing my temples when I shivered; some of the warmth was receding and the wind was picking up speed. When I looked to my left I saw why: storm clouds were approaching.
 

I tracked the horizon, watching the dark gray clouds roll into a muted half gray, half blue color that eventually gave way to what was once a cloudless sky. Looking to the right and seeing the sunny sky, it was almost inconceivable that such a nasty storm was approaching. And when I looked to the left it seemed equally improbable that a blue sky would ever be seen again.

As soon as the first crack of thunder hit, my tears started once more. It was such a beautiful dichotomy: a brightly burning sun on one side and dark gray storm clouds on the other. There was thunder and sunshine. There was yellow and gray.
 

And suddenly all I saw was my life. Perpetually caught between feeling the warmth and fearing the rain.

When the clouds rolled closer and the rain started to fall, I watched the retreating sun disappear, taking the warmth with it. I closed my eyes as the rain began to mix with my slowly receding tears. The rain continued until it soaked through my shirt and left me shivering. But I didn’t move.

Would it always be this way?

Could I ever truly be happy if I was always counting on this crippling sadness that I had already let rule my life for so long to return?

I paused as I remembered my conversation with Gabe from weeks ago, about finding my favorite constellation.

Maybe you can’t see them all. But just because you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they aren’t there… waiting for you.

I couldn’t always see the stars; I couldn’t always feel the warmth. But maybe, I could still believe it. I could still believe that despite the storm, the bright, blue sky would always return.

I could still believe that happy days were in my future; they were just waiting for me to find them.

Sherry’s Halloween party was tonight, the one party a year I went to regularly. Somehow, it was different than other parties, because even though everyone was drinking and it was still a social event, which typically had me running for the hills, it was lighter in some way. Everyone dressing up and going around guessing costumes made it much less intimidating. I was typically reserved in my costume choice. Shocking, right? But since seeing Gabe yesterday, I wanted to be… more. I wanted to try a little harder, even if it made me uncomfortable.

“So I’ve noticed you’re working awfully hard on picking out an outfit tonight… and from
my
closet.”

I jumped at the sound of Naomi’s voice. “Jesus,” I muttered before turning around and rolling my eyes. “Do we really have to do this? Can’t you just help me and internally bask in the fact that you were right?”

“Hmmm… no. I’m much too petty for that.”

“Fine. You were right. I was wrong. I was scared, and I shot Gabe down prematurely. I’m going to suck it up, wear something out of my comfort zone, and stop being a scared little bitch. Happy?”

“I would have liked to hear more variations of ‘you were right,’ but I guess that’ll do.”

“Great.” I sighed. “Now will you help me?”

“Of course. So you said he was having lunch with a girl yesterday? Is that your reason for raiding my closet?”
 

I remained silent as we shuffled through her clothes, side by side.

“I’m pretty sure she was his ex. She was gorgeous and the complete opposite of me, and it kinda made me wonder why he even asked me out. So yeah, I thought I’d try a little harder tonight.” I shrugged. “Really make it seem like I want this.”

“So how far are we talking?”

“I think I’m going to give you carte blanche.”

She grinned mischievously. “I’ve always wanted a life-size Barbie!”

…

Word of advice: Never give Naomi carte blanche. EVER.
 

Because apparently, when she said Barbie, she literally meant dressing me up as one. But honestly, that just seemed like a ruse to get me in an inappropriately tight, short blue dress and a ridiculous amount of makeup. I did set some boundaries: no heels, a neutral makeup palette, and nude tights underneath, but I still felt weird.
 

I was looking around the room and fidgeting with the hem of my dress when—

“Hey, Alara.” Chad’s smooth voice came from my right, and when I turned, his easy smile and bright brown eyes greeted me.

“Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here.” I shifted anxiously as my eyes scanned the room for Gabe again. He’d yet to arrive, but Naomi assured me he was coming.

Chad reached over and wrapped his arms around me just as Sherry walked by and winked. I tentatively gave him a pat on the back before pulling away.

“Yeah, Sherry invited me. Said you might be lonely.” My eyes widened as my gaze flew across the room. He gave me a lazy smile before he chuckled. “Relax. I’m not hitting on you and I’m definitely not going to ask you out again.”

“At the risk of sounding full of myself…
really
?”

His face suddenly grew serious, and he stepped closer. “Yeah, I’m done. I met someone a couple weeks ago. We’ve gone out a few times, and I’m pretty hopeful.”

“That’s great.” I offered him a real hug this time, and he laughed as he returned the embrace. We broke apart, though his hand remained on my upper arm.

“So why—” I cut myself off as my attention drifted over his shoulder and I found Gabe standing in the doorway of Sherry’s apartment.
 

His gaze raked over my body and his eyes flared as he took in the immodest hemline. Then his stare met mine for a brief moment before it narrowed on Chad’s hand. The heat that had just been so prominent quickly gave way to unmistakable anger.
 

Noticing my attention was elsewhere, Chad quickly looked over his shoulder, then turned around, smiling.