Unveiling The Sky (47 page)

“That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful.”
 

– Elizabeth Wurtzel

Soft fingers trailed along my scar as we drove in silence toward my apartment. We had just left his place where Derek had been hosting a small New Year’s Eve party. After about two hours Gabe told me he was proud I made it that long in a room filled with only a handful of people I knew, but he didn’t want me to suffer anymore. I tried to convince him I was fine, even if I was going out of my mind, but he was insistent.

I rolled my head to the left as Gabe drove one-handed with a small smile on his face. His fingers stopped tracing and his hand tightly gripped mine, bringing it up to his mouth for a light kiss before resting our joined hands on his leg.

“What are you thinking about right now?” I asked.

His smile widened as he shot me a brief glance before returning his eyes to the road. “Last New Year’s Eve. What about you?”

“Me too, actually,” I said softly, my eyes going to our hands.

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Everything okay?” I looked up to see his eyes nervously flickering between the road and me. He relaxed a little when I squeezed his hand back, but his eyes continued to detour from the road to my face. I nodded my head and whatever was left of his tension melted away as his eyes remained forward.
 

I wasn’t naïve. I didn’t suddenly, magically think that I was going to be okay now that I had Gabe. But somehow things did feel better. I was done (or at least
trying
to be done) being neurotic and pessimistic. I wasn’t going to continue waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was pointless—it wouldn’t stop the bad things from happening, all it would do was keep me from enjoying the good things.

We arrived at the apartment ten minutes later and as soon as we walked in my eyes found an almost identical setup to our first date: food, flowers, candles, and wine. I smiled as I turned around, but it quickly left when his lips touched mine, soft at first then more demanding. The next hour passed quickly. We ate, drank, laughed, loved, and all too soon the New Year crept up on us.

Gabe lifted his glass to mine as the television announcer began the countdown.

“Ten… Nine… Eight…”

I paused as the rim of the glass touched my lips and I saw an alternate reality. It was easy to imagine. A year ago I would have sworn that the rest of my life would look the same as it had every other day. I would just be going through the motions of life. Getting up, doing what I had to, lying around when there was nothing to do, and going to sleep wondering if tomorrow would be better. Repeat.

“Seven… Six… Five…”

And it went so much further than my depression, because even when I wasn’t “down,” even when I was supposedly “happy,” I wasn’t happy. I let my depression strip me to nothing. I let it take away everything. And I was done letting people tell me it was nothing, that I was blowing it out of proportion or weak. But I was also done telling myself that I could hide it, that I could handle it alone. It wouldn’t be easy; maybe it would be even harder now that I had more to lose. But I couldn’t go back. Not when I realized what true happiness was. Not when I realized that not being depressed wasn’t the same as being happy.

So maybe beating this disorder wasn’t about conquering it; maybe it was simply about continuing the fight. Refusing to give up, even when I wanted to most, even when I saw no happy end in sight.
 

I smiled at the thought, and as Gabe drew his glass away and pulled me toward him I felt victorious, even if it was just in that moment.

“Four… Three… Two…”

“Here’s to the middle,” he whispered as his lips hovered above mine.

“To the middle,” I echoed.

“One…”

Unveiling The Sky
Playlist

“Nobody’s Home” - Avril Lavigne

“Human” - Christina Perri

“Skyscraper” - Demi Levato

“Story of a Girl” - Nine Days

“Dark
Side” - Kelly Clarkson

“You Hear a Song” - Cassadee Pope

“Arms” - Christina Perri

“Fix You” - Coldplay

“Who You Are” - Jessie J

“I’ll Stand By You” - The Pretenders

“Cecila and The Satellite” - Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness

“Come To Me
”
- Goo Goo Dolls

“Fight Song” - Rachel Platten

Acknowledgements

This is crazy. I honestly can’t believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe I’m finally finished. There are so many people I need to thank, so many people who helped make this a reality. I think this goes without saying, but my first thanks has to be to my family. My wonderful and loving parents who, despite not knowing anything about this industry, encouraged me every step of the way as I stumbled through this journey. My sister, Kayla, who always provides some comic relief and helps keep my stress levels low.

To my best friends who are always there when I need to vent. Bridget, Denali, Josh, Stephanie, and Zack—you guys keep me sane.

To my editor, Stephanie Parent, who swooped in and edited this in a week when my other editor fell through. It literally felt like you saved my life, I am so incredibly grateful for your promptness and all your hard work.

To Sarah at Okay Creations for making this beautiful cover! It came out better than I ever imagined.

I also want to give a HUGE thank you to the first bloggers who took a chance on my book and read it. To Traci from Book Plus Heart, Nichole from Sizzling Pages Romance Reviews, and Carol from StarAngels Review—it was incredibly hard finding people to take a chance on this book, and I’m so grateful you three did. Your kind words and encouragement really lessened my anxiety these last few months.

And lastly, thank YOU, the readers! Time is the one thing we can never get back and I am grateful that you spent yours reading my first novel. I hope you enjoyed it.

About The Author

Jeannine Allison is an author of contemporary and New Adult romance. After waffling between
many
degrees in college, she finally graduated with a BA in English Literature from Arizona State University. She loves writing and reading -- obviously :) -- but when she's not, she enjoys playing with her two dogs, watching her favorite YouTube beauty bloggers, drinking coffee, googling new tattoos, and pretty much anything else that allows her to wear yoga pants and a sweatshirt!
Unveiling The Sky
is her first novel.

Look out for Naomi’s story next…

Coming Fall 2016

Unveiling Chaos

It was just sex…

Naomi’s life had been steady, in order, planned out… just the way she liked it. But when her boyfriend of five years leaves her for another woman and her mother makes a surprise reappearance in her life, she watches her controlled life fall into chaos. Then she meets, and has a one night stand with, Damien. The last thing on her mind is getting a new boyfriend, yet she can’t deny the attraction she feels, so when he offers no strings sex, it seems like the perfection solution. But the more she gets to know Damien, the more she learns all they have in common, and the line between casual and something more starts to blur. For all her planning, she realizes… you can’t plan love.

It was never just sex…

Damien’s life is busy and hardly ever in order. Between working two jobs, taking care of his sister, and saving up for his own tattoo studio, there are always surprises. When he meets Naomi, the last thing on his mind is getting a girlfriend, but he can’t deny the connection he feels. It’s clear she’s not ready for a relationship, though that won’t stop him from pursuing one… even if he has to lie to her about his intentions. But when one of the things that brought them together, slowly tears her apart, Damien has to make her see… the beauty in chaos.