Unveiling The Sky (38 page)

Her mouth screwed up in a frown as she thought about it. “Kind of, but not because I’m waiting for you to crack. I just don’t want to upset you, and not because you’re my friend who has depression, but simply because you’re my friend. Everyone has triggers and I try to be mindful of them. But at the end of the day if I think you need to hear something, even if you won’t like it, I’d tell you, because that’s also part of being a friend. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it does.”

She studied me thoughtfully for a moment before commenting. “You can’t keep doing that, you know.”

I frowned. “Doing what?”

“You can’t keep separating pieces of yourself—it won’t accomplish anything. There isn’t you and then your depression. They aren’t separate things. They affect each other, and I know you think Gabe can’t possibly love that part of you. But all of it’s you, and if he loves you, he has to love that too because even though it sucks, it has made you who you are.”

My frown deepened. Just the other day I had said something similar to Gabe. That I was sick of letting my depression define me, and here I had let Miranda do just that. I had let her convince me of something that I had no actual proof for.

“You’re right.” I nodded my head and gave Sherry a grateful smile. “I know you’re right.”

“We all have nerves.”

Yeah, we did, and with this one open and exposed I’d have to be extra careful not to let anything hit it. Not to let anything make it unnecessarily worse.

…

I asked Gabe to come over tonight, and even though it made me uncomfortable I described the entire encounter with Miranda to him, the words, the ring, and the feelings (well mostly). He grimaced as I finished and he came to sit next to me. We were in my room; I was on the bed and he had been at my desk. “It’s not what you think,” he said, sounding exhausted.

My laugh was uncomfortable as I rolled my eyes, trying to look untroubled. “Words every woman wants to hear.” My joke fell flat as my voice quivered, revealing just how scared I actually was.

He gave me a small smile for my attempt and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, drawing me into his side. “I told you the truth about Miranda and me. We’re over, my dad and her just don’t want to accept it.”

“What was the deal your dad was talking about?”

“When I left he told me I had a year before he expected me to come back, marry Miranda and work at his company while finishing my master’s.” He hesitated, shoving his hand in his thick hair before his eyes slowly roamed over my face. “And I accepted it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked quietly as I brushed hair back from his face.

“It didn’t matter because I wasn’t going to do it. I only agreed to it at the time because I didn’t want to argue with him.” Gabe’s tone was laced with frustration.

“But now he probably looks at this like
I’ve
ruined the plan and somehow convinced you to change your entire life.” My voice was coming out harsher than I intended, but this whole conversation was leaving
me
confused. Why would he choose bartending and me over what his dad could offer and a steady, sane life with Miranda? It really didn’t make any sense.
There was that pesky little nerve again.

“Yeah, I know. I think that’s why he’s been extra forceful with it.”

“So, what now? He clearly expects you to hold up your end of this, but what can he do? You’re an adult.” When I was met with silence, I twisted in his arms and rested my chin on his chest so I was looking up at him. “Does he have something that could compel you to do this?”

“He threatened to send Sam to his sister’s place on the East Coast for the rest of the school year. It’s her senior year, the few friends she has left are here and she’s still recovering from losing our mother, and that asshole wants to send her away… because of me.”

“Oh,” I whispered.

“Yeah.” He gave me a sad look before turning his attention to the wall across from us. “I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I didn’t think he was serious.”

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” I asked quietly.

“Of course,” he said automatically, but I could hear the fear and sadness in his voice. He wasn’t sure, and even though I wasn’t a religious person, I would pray. I would pray he wasn’t lying. Because for the first time since we started dating, I was truly worried we weren’t going to be okay.

Shocked. That was the only word I had for what I was feeling as Gabe’s father stood on the other side of my doorway the Wednesday after Thanksgiving. “Mr. Moynaha,” I said, startled. “Gabe isn’t here. I mean… weren’t the two of you supposed to be meeting at your office?”

Last night as Gabe was leaving, he told me he was going over to his father’s office today to settle all this for good. And while he seemed relatively optimistic about it, I was still unsure.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Black. Yes, we are meeting at my office in a little bit. I’m actually here to speak to you.”

“Oh, well, uh, come in.” I fidgeted as he walked in and began appraising our apartment. “Did you want anything to drink?”

Gabe’s dad turned around and offered me a smile, probably the first genuine one I’d seen come from him. “No, I’m all right, dear. Thank you.” A few tense seconds passed while he looked at the pictures on our wall and I ran my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans. With his back still facing me he finally spoke. “I can’t imagine what you must think of me. I know Gabriel’s not my biggest fan right now.”

“Oh, well…” I trailed off, unsure how to proceed.

He turned around and offered me a warm smile. “It’s okay, Alara, you don’t have to deny it. I know it’s the truth. I won’t deny I haven’t been the most dutiful father, but my son seems to think I’m out to destroy his life. What he doesn’t understand is that I’m doing this for his own good.”

“And I’m not for his own good?”

His smile turned sad. “I don’t believe so, no. But that is nothing against you, Ms. Black. My son just needs someone a bit stronger. More put together.”

My mouth went dry as I processed his words. “Put together?” I squeaked out.

“Dealing with depression is a serious commitment. Is that something you really want to burden my son with? Surely if you love him, you’d want better for him?”

The silence that followed had me nervously tapping my fingers against my thigh, and the atmosphere began to feel even more tense. “I don’t think Gabe sees it as a burden,” I said quietly.

“Of course he doesn’t right now. But tell me, have you had any kind of episode in front of him? Has he truly seen what it would be like to be with someone so broken?” I froze at his words, the only movement being the churning of my stomach and the racing of my mind. But despite feeling like I had been hollowed out, I was also getting a little angry.

“I’m not
broken
, sir. Yes, I
broke
. But I’m putting myself back together, day after day and one piece at a time.
I’m
doing that.”

He almost looked impressed, but it quickly disappeared as a pitying expression took its place. “Ms. Black, I’m glad you are doing better, but you cannot guarantee anything—”

“No one can guarantee anything!” I practically shouted. I lowered my voice before continuing. “I know I can’t guarantee that, in fact I could probably guarantee that something
will
happen again. But I’ve explained all this to Gabe, and I respect him enough to let it be his choice; maybe you should do the same.”

He nodded and straightened himself out. “Just think about what I’ve said. It’d be a shame for him to wake up one day hateful and resenting the life he chose.”
And the person he chose it with
, he silently added. If he had physically hit me it would have hurt less.

The door clicked softly as he let himself out, and I slumped back against the wall until I was sitting on the floor. My eyes closed as the first tears slid down my face. I sat there and replayed everything I had said to Gabe’s father, only now I was trying to convince myself. Because all I kept seeing were Naomi and Sherry’s faces when they found me almost a year ago. And when I thought about those sad, scared, heartbroken expressions and how it might look on Gabe’s face, I shattered. My body shook as my sobs grew louder and echoed around the empty apartment. I curled myself into a ball as I lay on the ground and cried myself to sleep.

“You’re late.” I stood up as soon as he walked in. Straightening out the wrinkles in my dress pants, I turned around and folded my arms across my chest.

“Well hello to you too, Gabriel. I had a prior engagement.” He closed the door and stepped around his desk before taking a seat. “I apologize for keeping you.” I sat back down as well but kept to the edge of my seat.

“I think you have a great deal more to apologize for.”

He nodded his head solemnly. “Probably. But I won’t apologize for trying to do what’s best for you. And this life
is
what’s best for you.”

“No, this life is what’s best for you.” I groaned in frustration. “Look, I’m not about to have the exact same argument for the fifth time. We clearly don’t agree and unless you have a white flag hidden somewhere, we’re not going to.”

“Gabriel, despite your low opinion of me, I don’t want to force you into this and I don’t
want
to send Samantha to Wendy. I—”

“Then don’t! It’s not complicated.”

He stared at me for a few minutes before speaking. “How do you expect to help this girl? Are you really ready for all it entails? Look at what happened after your mother passed—you left for
six
months. You couldn’t help your mother and you couldn’t help Samantha, so you left. Is that what you plan to do with Ms. Black? Is that—?”

“Stop it.” My voice was low and calm but it felt deadly. “You know
nothing
about her, and I’d
never
leave her. I can help—”

“No, you can’t. How are you going to fix something you don’t understand? How are you going to fix something that has no cause?”

I stood up abruptly. “I don’t need to fix her.”

He shook his head sadly. “You’re lying to yourself, and this girl is going to be the one who suffers for it.” I opened my mouth to respond when his secretary cut in through the speaker on his phone.

“Mr. Moynaha, your daughter is here to see you.” I cut a glance to my father, but he looked equally shocked. We both silently stared at each other, each trying to figure out if she was here to back the other up. But when his secretary said, “Sir?” we both snapped out of it and gazed at the phone.

“Yes, yes. Ah, send her in.” The click of the phone was immediately followed by the click of the door as Sam quickly walked in and shut it closed behind her.

“Samantha? What are you doing here, sweetheart?” he asked as he stood.

She was fuming when she stopped at the edge of his desk. “You can’t possibly think I’m going to let you threaten Gabe without doing anything about it, right?”

My father paled, looking nervous for the first time in… well, ever.

“Samantha, I’m sorry, but you’re still a minor and I’m still your guardian. Unfortunately you—”

“Have no say in the matter, I know. Except that I do. You can send me to live with Wendy; I’ll go without a fight. Hell, I’ll go willingly if it means you’ll leave Gabe and Alara alone.”