Authors: Mairi Wilson
“You could at least try to be happy for me, take my side for once. I knew you, remember, before you even met our grand heiress. I’m as much your friend as she is. More so. I don’t lie.”
“Ursula, dear,” Evie said, trying to strike a placatory note. “We all just want you to be happy. And he
did
behave appallingly before, so you can see why we might worry.” Her smile was forced as she held her tongue and patted Ursula’s hand.
“It wasn’t his fault. It was hers. And he won’t let her ruin his life with her games any more.”
Evie felt a shiver, a premonition. This was not like Ursula at all, and she feared it could only end badly.
*
When Evie woke, she didn’t need to open her eyes to know Robert was sitting there in the armchair beneath the window. She could smell the coffee he always brought in with him as he stopped to check on her on his way to his early morning clinic.
She smiled, and was rewarded with a soft chuckle.
“So you’re awake are you, Gran? And how are you feeling today?”
“Old, Robbie, my boy. As I do every day.”
“Well, at your age, what can you expect?”
It was hardly Ealing comedy, but they both enjoyed the familiar routines.
“So what did you make of her?” Never one to beat about the bush, her grandson.
“Delightful. Just like her mother.”
“Only she’s not, is she? Her mother didn’t go around asking difficult questions. Dangerous questions.” He drained his coffee, slapped the cup down on the windowsill. “What do we tell her, Gran?”
“The truth. She knows Ursula had a son. There’s no point in our denying it. I’ve tried; she doesn’t believe me. The best we can do is try to limit her enquiries. She knows more than she seems to realise already, and you, dear boy, need to find out
how
she knows and exactly
what
she knows. Then we can work out how best to protect her.”
“Protect Lexy?”
“Protect Helen.”
Lexy had been astonished when Robert had called to invite her out yesterday. Well, not
out
in the sense of a date or anything, but to accompany him on a trip up to one of the clinics on the shore of Lake Malawi. She had hesitated for only a few seconds before agreeing. Apart from it being important to keep him onside after getting off to such a bad start, she was excited at the thought of getting out of the city and seeing the famous lake. Just for a day she would try to forget all the shocks and surprises, loss and sadness and just … relax, which, after another day spent fruitlessly trawling through Ursula’s affairs as assembled by the lawyers in that tedious Manila folder, she felt she totally deserved, even if she had done a fair bit of the trawling poolside. She’d gone to bed early so was rested enough despite the early start to remain unruffled whatever the provocation and she would simply rise above any irritation Robert’s abrupt manner might cause.
She found herself wondering what she would have said if he
had
been asking her out. He was infuriatingly difficult to read, but then so were her own feelings. Ridiculous even to be thinking like that. With bereavement and break-up featuring heavily in her recent past, she was in no state emotionally even to
consider
… But he was darkly handsome, charismatic, decisive, a man of action … the complete opposite of Danny. Perhaps exactly what she needed to help her move on. Her rebound man.
“Oh, grow up, Lexy Shaw!” she scolded herself, throwing a crumpled blue shift dress onto the growing mound of rejected clothes on the bed behind her. Precious little left in the wardrobe now. But what
was
the dress code for a Sunday non-date picnic trip to Lake Malawi via a clinic, for goodness’ sake? Nothing too smart, but then again nothing too casual, which in Lexy’s world was usually a euphemism for scruffy anyway, and she had to look as if she’d made a bit of an effort, be rude not to, but not
too
much … Oh, this was impossible!
Jeans.
Or would they be too hot?
Tough. She’d suffer. White linen shirt. Sandals. Smear of lipstick, SPF higher than she thought existed until she saw it in the hotel lobby shop, and hair back in a ponytail. Job done.
And don’t even think about looking in the mirror again, little miss sweet sixteen going on thirty-one.
She was downstairs waiting in the lobby on the dot of seven despite her dithering. Robert arrived fifteen minutes later, by which time she was breathing deeply and working hard to give the outward appearance of nonchalance. Keeping her cool wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d hoped. But she pinned on her brightest smile and walked across the lobby to meet him.
“Robert, hello. This is so good of you. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to seeing something of Malawi other than city streets.”
“My pleasure, Lexy.” And, to her surprise, he smiled as if he meant it. He was obviously going to make the effort too. Good. “And please, accept my apologies for keeping you waiting.” Even better. “I was with Gran first thing and she … well, she took a turn for the worse so I didn’t want to leave until I was sure things were back under control.”
“Oh, of course. I’m so sorry.” Lexy was genuinely concerned to hear about Evie but couldn’t help feeling a little annoyed that he had a valid excuse for being late, making her feel petty for beginning to get huffy waiting. Score one to Robert. Not that this was about point-scoring, she reminded herself. “How is she?”
“They’re probably going to bring forward her operation.”
“Shouldn’t you be with her? I mean I quite understand if you—”
“No, no. Not at all. She’s settled now and will sleep most of the day, and they won’t operate until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest, and I’m not sure she’ll be strong enough even then. I can’t let the clinic down anyway. Some of them travel miles to get there. Shall we?”
Lexy followed him out to the car, letting him tell her about the clinic, prompting him occasionally with the odd question. As they drove out through the quiet streets, she found herself warming to Robert, forgiving his abrupt manner. He was clearly a man who was passionate about his work and his patients. Passionate about Malawi too, she discovered as they escaped into open country, leaving the buildings behind, and he launched into a running commentary on the landscape, the wildlife, the climate, even, becoming increasingly animated as they left the motorway and tarmac behind and rattled along a narrow, dusty track.
“Sorry,” he said, stopping abruptly. “I must be boring you to death.”
“On the contrary. It’s fascinating. I’ve never been outside Europe before and this is just so … so vast. So beautiful. Although that hardly seems to do it justice.”
Robert’s smile was warm, genuine. “Some people hate it. But some of us … some of us just get it. And I think you might turn out to be one of those, Lexy, what do you think?”
Their eyes met for a second but then the jeep hit a pothole and lurched drunkenly to Robert’s side and they bounced hard and high.
“Oh!” Lexy grabbed the handrail above her door as Robert’s eyes snapped back to the road and he wrestled with the wheel to bring the vehicle back under control.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to frighten you. When the chances of meeting another car are as slim as they are out here, you can get a bit lax about watching the road, but then these potholes can be treacherous. Other traffic isn’t really the problem.”
Lexy watched his profile as he drove, thinking over what he’d said. Might she be one of the ones who “get it”? She certainly loved what she’d seen of the country so far, and this landscape, this was breathtaking. She’d been conceived here, so perhaps it was in her blood, somehow. Perhaps, when she found Ursula’s son and her proxy family, this would come to be where she belonged.
She found herself flung sharply forward as the jeep skidded to a halt.
“There!” Robert was pointing through the windscreen on her side to a small clump of trees, his face animated and excited.
“What?”
“Elephants – see them?”
Lexy shook her head slowly, straining to see where he was pointing.
“Binoculars in the pocket of your door.” She pulled them out, looked at them, not quite sure which end was which or what exactly to do with them, but she needn’t have worried. He grabbed them from her and scanned the horizon, twiddling a knob in the middle of the two lenses with one hand as he pointed with the other. “Yes!” He was triumphant. “And antelope too, I think … yes! Sable antelopes.”
Well, great,
thought Lexy,
as long as you can see them.
She could see nothing and felt a Danny-style huffiness creep over her. How rude, just to snatch—
“Here.” Robert pulled her closer to him and handed her the binoculars. “I’ve focused them for you.” She felt herself blush and hoped it was just because of her discomfort at how easily he’d wrong-footed her again. Nothing to do with being pulled into what was very like an embrace. He had turned her in the right direction and left one of his arms dangling over her shoulder, pointing out the animals with the other. She felt her breath stall. She could see them; brought close by the binoculars, she almost felt she could touch them.
“Amazing, eh?” She knew Robert was smiling, could hear it in his voice. “Come on, let’s get closer.” He was already opening his door.
“Oh, I …” Lexy didn’t want to admit to a reluctance to leave the safety of the jeep. “No it’s fine, I … We should get on … The clinic …”
“Two minutes. Come
on
.”
His door slammed and he was jogging round the car, opening her door for her and tugging at her arm like an impatient child. She hesitated for a second and then laughing, jumped down from the jeep and let him pull her behind him. She could see the animals without the binoculars now, and Robert slowed their pace, brought them to a halt, turned to her with a finger to his lips. They crept forward. Lexy’s heart was pumping hard. She had never seen anything like it. Her mother had taken her to the zoo to see “wild” African animals – fluffy, friendly monsters in cages – but this … this was something else entirely. She raised the binoculars again, felt him take her hand, guide it to the focusing dial and showing her how to move it. The animals blurred, sharpened and came into focus: a tall black antelope. She tightened the focus further and dark eyes looked straight at her. A predator contemplating a kill. She dropped the binoculars and gasped. Robert looked at her, puzzled. He frowned, then took the binoculars from her and led her back towards the jeep. She sensed his disappointment. As they neared the vehicle, she stopped.
“It was looking at me,” she said. “Right at me. It was incredible.” She was relieved to see his face break into a smile.
“Yes, aren’t they? And all herbivores, despite all those tusks and horns.”
“Really?” Lexy was surprised. So not quite the predator she’d imagined, that antelope. She wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or worried that she’d been so quick to imagine the worst.
“Yes. Use them for defending themselves only. We could learn from that. I’m so glad we got to see them.” Robert laughed. “You know, I thought for a moment there you were frightened.”
“Oh no.” Lexy attempted a light laugh in return. “Not at all.” It was a fib, not a lie. She had just been taken a bit by surprise. But no, not frightened. Of course not.
“Sorry I dragged you away then.”
“Well,” she said, feeling magnanimous, and safe, “there is the clinic …”
“Yes, I suppose. Shall we?” He indicated the jeep and they started back. He was grinning. “Don’t get too many of those magnificent beasts in Edinburgh, do you?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve come across a few wild bores in the Grassmarket on a Saturday night.”
“Yes, and a few stuffed ones in Morningside.” They both laughed at the feeble jokes and residual tension evaporated. They were back at the jeep now. He opened her door and closed it gently once she was settled. He walked slowly round to his side, one last glance at the animals before he climbed in, and they set off once again, the silence between them more companionable.
The clinic building was set at the edge of a very small village. It was a long, plain white single-storey structure with a verandah running the length of it. The verandah was already full of waiting patients, and Lexy could see more sitting in groups in the shade of the trees to the side of the building.
“Looks like you’re going to be busy.”
“No more than usual. But it shouldn’t take more than an hour or so. The nurses will see to most of them, just vaccinations. Then we can get on to the lake.”
“No problem. Can I help?” Lexy saw his hesitation and fought the pique it caused.
Play nice, Lexy, play nice.
“Although I don’t want to get in the way. Perhaps I’ll just go for a wander, explore a bit, maybe even snooze under a tree somewhere …”
“Good idea. Just check the branches first.”
“Why?”
“Snakes. They can drop on you and—”
“Oh, don’t, please. I hate snakes. I really hate them. Are they pois— No. Don’t tell me. I’d rather not know.”
“Sorry. But don’t worry. They’re usually quite shy so probably none this near the clinic. In fact, from personal experience I can recommend that tree there.” Robert pointed to a particularly impressive mopane, already sheltering a sleeping dog. “You won’t be in any danger from old Rufus there. Deaf as a post and all but toothless. Plenty of room for two, anyway.”
Lexy liked this more relaxed, human Robert. But even as she turned back to him, he was all business again, already opening his door and calling to a nurse who had appeared from the clinic.
“Nurse! Nurse Anakele! Give me a hand here, would you? I’ve brought supplies.” He disappeared round to the back of the jeep and started unloading. Lexy knew she’d been forgotten so wandered off to explore the village, which took all of ten minutes, before settling herself under what did indeed look a very inviting tree. She pulled out more of her never-ending papers, spread them on her lap, and read not a word.
“Ow!” Lexy yelped more with surprise than pain as the ball bounced off her leg. She looked up to see a small boy laughing and staggering towards her on plump legs.