Chapter 14
– J
She was about to freak out. Fuck. My woman was hanging on by a thread.
I watched her pull on her hair, fistfuls of curls in her hands, as she walked a line back and forth behind the rock. I took long strides to reach her, to be what she needed.
"Baby." I took her face in my hands, forcing her roaming stare to focus in on me. "Breath
e. Talk to me, sweetheart."
I watched her close her eyes and take deep breaths, her body trembling in my hands
. She squeezed them shut, and tears poured down her cheeks like rain.
"I
t's OK. You're OK. Come here." I pulled her body against mine, her hands clutching my shirt. "I got you, baby. Let me have it."
I caged her in my arms and held on while she shook, her spirit coming undone. In my arms, I took her
suffering, and engulfed her with my love. For this woman, I'd endure infinite amounts of agony so she could unravel in the safety of my arms.
Her pain filled eyes looked up at me, shakes
coursing through her body still attached to mine. I ran my hand over her wild hair, smoothing it down, attempting to calm her trembling spirit.
"Tell me, sweetheart. It's the boy
, right? Tell me what's on your mind."
"I didn't want this for him." She wiped her wet cheeks.
Reaching out, I wiped my fingers down either side of her tear stricken face. "What didn't you want for him?"
"This. More bullshit." Elle took a calming breath, her shoulders sagging. Her voice was dejected when she spoke again. "I feel like all I've done is brought violence to Fernie's life."
"You saved his life. The rest of this is just blow back, and it
will
blow over. I promise my life to make that happen for you. We'll have
us
, of that I can assure you. Just hang in there, baby. I'm right here with you—all the way. And he wants to see his family. You have the opportunity to give him that."
"Are we doing the right thing? I mean, in taking him back? What if it's the wrong thing? What if it just brings more drama to his life? How can I have that on my shoulders?"
"Sweetheart, you gave him a choice. He's more a man than any teenager. He made his decision. What comes of it isn't on you."
"But it is." Her eyes were wild again, searching the trees for answers to which there were none. "He wouldn't be messed up in this shit with the MC if it wasn't for us."
"No, baby, but he wouldn't be in Sabinas if it weren't for his own choices. We all make choices and they all have consequences, be them good or bad. His choices led him here. Gramps would say he is right where he belongs, as are you and I. We're together. Sweetheart, this is us."
She buried her head back in my chest. "I love you."
Wrapping my arms around her again, I pulled her close and let her know I felt the same. We were still standing like that when headlights flashed at us.
"That's our ride."
I looked at Fernie, unsure what was going on in his brain watching Elle and me like this. I loved her and she loved Fernie, so by default I'd make sure he was taken care of. I'd do it because it was the right thing, but more so because I knew it's what Elle would want.
We all followed the lights to a grey Toyota Camry with tinted windows.
They sure did love their Toyotas in Mexico. Elle and Fernie got in back, while I took shotgun to strategize with Beto, our driver it appeared.
"Thanks, man. The MC owes you guys big time."
"We know," was all Beto replied.
We drove in silence
to yet another
quinta
the Zetas occupied. This one was farther east than we'd been before. It looked like we wouldn't be crossing in Laredo. After an hour drive, we arrived at our final destination, all of us covered in dried mud and blood. What a fucking sight we were.
"I'll be back tomorrow. I need some time to get the boy's papers in order. You both
have your passports? You'll be crossing as a family through Santa Teresa, New Mexico. From there you can get yourself home."
"Yeah, she has ours in her purse."
"I won't be able to get your stuff, but there are some clothes in the closets you can use and soap in the bathroom to wash yours out if you can manage."
I gave him a nod and we all got out of the car. Once inside, we found two bedrooms, one with a connected bathroom, and a second one with a half bath across the hall. Elle looked through the closets
and found clothes for everyone. She divvied up items for each of us, passing me only a T-shirt and some shorts that looked like they might be a tight fit.
"Give me your pants. I'll get them as clean as I can. Nothing here is going to fit you." Though usually excited to offer my pants up to my
woman, her empty voice left my cock limp and my heart hurting. "Holler if you need anything, Fernie." She laid clothes on his bed and walked to the master bedroom.
Once we were alone, she spoke without looking at me. "I'm gonna shower and try and wash your pants." She held out her hand and I
passed my jeans to her.
I took off the rest of my clothes and tended to my arm
over the bathroom sink while Elle showered. It was just a graze, but some stitches might've been in order. I'd have to make do with what I had. Digging through some drawers, I found a semi-clean shirt and ripped a piece off to put around my bicep, pulling it tight to keep the bleeding down. I washed my face and chest to the sounds of Elle attempting to weep quietly.
She didn't do anything quietly when it came to her and me.
"You OK in there?" I tapped on the shower door.
"Yeah, just gimme a minute to get it together."
"You want company?"
"No. I'm good. Thanks."
I cleaned up as best I could over the sink, and lay in the bed naked, waiting for my sun to gather her rays. I was half asleep when I heard her emerge from the bathroom, hair braided up, her naked form moving towards me. Damn, but I was a bastard with a hard on. She did that to me, and I couldn't help it.
Abuelita, wrinkly knees, tires, Dig, Burns, fat strippers...
I thought of anything possible to get my guy to lie down and take a rest when Elle crawled into bed next to me.
"I love you
, darling."
"Baby, you know I love you more than I have words to express. Come here. Let me hold you. Let me make it better, even if just for the night."
She wrapped herself around me. Though my shit wasn't flaccid, her need for love and compassion kept it at half-mast. Despite the events of today and the anguish she'd dealt with, her breaths quickly evened out and I felt her fall asleep. I held her, deciding I'd wait to tell her we were going to get a test run being parents tomorrow. I didn't think that was information she was ready to process tonight.
I slipped out of bed to take a shower, careful to keep my wounded arm as dry as possible. There was a bar of soap in the shower, but that was it. I guess I should've been happy for some soap, yet I couldn't help remembering our time in the whirlpool in Kansas City. That had been the first time I told Elle I loved her, and the first time she'd said it to anyone. It was the night we became us—or a version of us. I had vague memories of Gram and Gramps sitting outside on the porch watching the sunset. I was young, and they seemed old as dirt, though they were probably only fifty or so. At nine years old, that's pretty damn old. I hoped to be eighty years old watching the sunset with my woman.
"Get the fuck off me!"
I
rushed out of the bathroom dripping with water to see Elle thrashing on the bed.
"Stop! Please. No."
I ran to the bed and grabbed Elle by the waist. Her fists came into contact with my chest and my chin. Keeping one hand wrapped around her middle, I lifted the other to cover my face. She could beat the shit out of my chest and arms, but I couldn't be crossing the border with a bloody face.
"It's me, babe. Shhhhh
. It's just me."
Her body whipped around a few more times before moving to stone cold stillness. Her eyes popped open, wild again with fear. Her
dilated pupils darted around the room, no doubt trying to remember where she was.
"We're in the
quinta
. You're here with me, the man who loves you, who adores you. Come back to me."
She blinked a few times to get her bearings.
"J?"
"Yeah. It's me. Just me."
"Fuck." She sat up in bed and surveyed her surroundings once more. "Your arm."
There was blood seeping out of the fabric I'd wrapped around it. I grabbed another piece off the table next to the bed and redressed it.
I kissed Elle's forehead. "Don't worry about me. Tell me your dream."
"I was—shit. I don't even know. I was fighting someone,
but it's kind of a blur now. Lay back down with me?"
"Of course."
And so we did, though I don't think she got much sleep that night. I woke up every hour or so to find her curled up next to me, sometimes her eyes open and vacant, other times closed and leaking tears. I held her all through the night, letting her know I wasn't going anywhere—ever. Death was the only thing that would separate us.
Chapter 15
– Elle
I slept for shit, and the morning came way to
o fast. I wanted to lie in J's arms for a week, or maybe a year. I sure as hell didn't want to get up and face the day ahead of us. Days were starting to seem like months. How long had I been in Mexico? Two weeks? Three weeks? I didn't even know anymore.
I drug myself out of bed and took a cold shower in hopes that it would wake me up. My nipples were hard as a rock, but my eyes still wanted to close.
Five more hours of sleep sounded nice. I sighed as I turned off the water, wondering what the day had in store for me.
After showering, I stood in front of the mirror
looking at the woman staring back at me. Fucking A. She was broken again. My face was pale despite the fact that I'd seen more sun in the past few weeks than normal, and it seemed I was carrying a full set of luggage under my eyes. I leaned my hands on the porcelain sink and bowed my head.
Fuck. I needed to get it together.
Buck up, chica. Everyday is an adventure
. I could hear Aaron in my head. He'd probably wrap it up with
be glad you're alive.
It was the truth. I should be glad I was alive. I heard J moving around in the bedroom and realized there were people who needed me, people who were counting on me. I did need to buck the fuck up! I had to take care of Fernie, and though J could take care of himself, I knew he needed me to be stronger.
I needed to be stronger for ME. Crying, sobbing, falling apart Elle needed to get her shit in check—like, right now. I squared my shoulders and stared at myself once more in the mirror.
You can do this, Elle.
J was getting dressed in the pants I'd washed, while crying
the night before, and hung to dry when I was able to pull myself together. Not that I did the greatest job of it, clearly, since I was giving myself bathroom pep talks. I poked my head out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Seeing J, knowing how much he loved me and how caring he'd been had my hormones in overload all over again.
Keep it in check, Elle. Be strong. Be fearless. And stop fucking crying all the time.
I was grateful J didn't ask too many questions. He didn't push for information, and it was one of the things that made us work. Questions could send me running for the hills, and J seemed to know just the right amount to keep my feet from taking off.
I heard him on the phone with someone while I finished getting ready, more than likely planning. I had no idea what was going to happen today, and I was fine with being on a need to know basis. It was out of the ordinary for me, but I trusted J had this covered. I wasn't sure how much info I could handle. I felt like a Jenga tower that was one piece away from falling. It was taking all I had to keep it together
, but damnit, I was going to keep it to-fucking-gether. I
had
to.
I waited for J to finish his conversation before emerging from the bathroom.
"I'm going to go check on Fernie and see if there's any food here. You good with your arm, or do you need some help dressing it?"
"I'm good." J walked over and kissed the top of my head. "I love you."
"I love you, too." I reached up and pulled him down for a kiss on the lips. I lingered, just for a moment, before pulling away, not wanting to get caught up in something I was pretty sure I wasn't going to finish.
I knocked on Fernie's door as I passed.
"You up?" I yelled.
"Yeah, I found some eggs." I turned to find Fernie around the corner holding a frying pan of eggs in his right hand. "No tortillas, but there's some
pan dulce
that looks like it's not too old."
He nodded toward a box filled with some kind of sweet, donut-ish rolls.
I decided to pass on the mystery bread of a mystery age, and just eat the eggs.
"Quite the cook I see."
"Abuelita taught me some things. Eggs are easy. Should I make some for J?"
"Sure."
J came out dressed in the jeans I'd washed and a Vanilla Ice shirt. Guess I didn't check the clothes I got for us very well, did I? Under different circumstances, I would've laughed at J in a Vanilla Ice shirt, but all I could manage was half a smile at his ridiculous appearance. He sat down next to me at a small kitchen table, and Fernie presented him a plate of scrambled eggs. He also offered J the same questionable bread, to which J too declined. We were Americans through and through, and that shit did not look FDA approved.
We ate in relative silence for half an hour before a car pulled up out front. I would've gone to gather my stuff, but realized all I had was my purse and the clothes I'd washed the previous night. I grabbed everyone's clothes and we headed outside.
The same grey Camry was parked outside. It was an unassuming car. The windows were tinted a bit darker than might be legal in some states, but otherwise it was an average car. The vehicle parked next to it was anything but.
A cream colored Mercedes with chrome everything made the Camry look like the damn Pinto we'd gone to the park in. A man stepped out of it and greeted J,
while Fernie and I stood by the porch. I had no desire to deal with whoever J was talking to, and Fernie seemed glued to my hip. The man driving the Camry got out and went to speak with J as well. The three of them were mid-discussion when a woman stepped out of the Mercedes.
Fuck, but s
he was gorgeous. Long black hair, curves in all the right places, and a petite body that made me feel all the more like a giant. I longingly thought of Eight Oh Eight and how I was "normal" size in tennis shoes there. In Mexico, not so much.
The woman went to speak with the three men, hugs were exchanged between her and the older man, and then
one of the men pulled a suitcase from the Mercedes and put it into the Camry. Considering it was Louis Vuitton, I had a feeling it wasn't my suitcase from Fernie's place.
"Do you know who that is?"
It was a common question Fernie might ask. The woman was the embodiment of sex appeal. The fact that he was clutching my arm, though, led me to believe there was more to this sex pot than meets the eye.
"No, but I'm guessing you do," I told him.
"That's the head of the Zetas. Nobody sees him. I mean
nobody
. I only know it's him cuz that's his car, and that's his niece, Isabel. Everyone knows Isabel."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Uh, you know, she kind of gets around."
"The head of the Zetas
' niece is a hoe?"
Fernie slammed his hand over my mouth. "Shhhhh! You wanna get us killed? After all this? I'm about to see my mom again. We all know it, but no one talks about Isabel. Most men don't mess with her anymore cuz if the
y do, they end up dead. It looks like she's coming with us."
"The suitcase?"
"Yeah."
Well, fuck. It looked like I was going to have to get involved in this shit. Not that I had a problem with any of it, but I needed to know what was going on. I waited for th
e Mercedes to leave, still not feeling up to chatting with strangers. Once it was gone, J walked over to Fernie and me.
"Isabel, this is Elle and Fernie. You guys, this is Isabel. She'll be traveling with us."
"Fernie, were there enough eggs left that you could make a plate for Isabel while J and I talk?" Fernie's eyes grew two sizes larger at my question.
I leaned over and whispered into his ear so no one else could hear. "It's a
ll good. Just don't fuck her and you'll stay alive." I winked at him and he shot daggers at me with his eyes, Chris style. Fuck, I missed my girl.
"Nice to meet you, Isabel. Why don't you have some breakfast with Fernie. J and I will be right in." She just nodded and followed Fernie who attempted to covertly hide his hard-on. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or vomit at the idea of Fernie with a stiffy. I chose to put it out of my mind and turned to J.
"So what's the deal? I guess I can't starfish this one, can I?"
"You ready to be a mom?"
"Excuse me?" Mom? What? Hello? IUD over here. No babies coming out of my body.
"So, I got a passport from those guys for Fernie. Isabel
is a friend of the Zetas. She's going to be going with us. It was part of the deal. Her and Fernie will be posing as brother and sister, and you and I will be their parents."
I looked at him like he was crazy, because what just came out of his mouth was pure crazy talk.
"I don't know how old Isabel is, but I didn't even have a period yet when Fernie was born. How the hell am I supposed to be their mother? And, uh, I think I might be the wrong color." I licked my finger and rubbed it on my arm. "Nope, not coming off. I'm white, through and through."
"Fernie is fifteen and Isabel is sixteen. We're adopting them."
"So you're Brad and I get to be Angelina?"
"Sure, baby, what
ever you want." J laughed at me and pulled me into his arms. "You look exhausted."
I stared up into his
charcoal eyes. I was exhausted. I'd had nightmares and might be stretching it if I said I got three hours of sleep all together. It had been a bad night for me, hence why I wasn't feeling like dealing with any Zetas.
"Is it that obvious?"
"You can sleep in the car. It'll be a long drive. We're going to cross into New Mexico, and then head north towards Missouri. We'll stop in Oklahoma City and I'll call Dig. I sent a message letting him know we have to come back and that I'd be in contact, but he has no idea what's gone down here in Mexico. I'll fill him in at the hotel and we'll make a plan from there."
"Well, let's go inside and make sure Isabel hasn't seduced Fernie so we can get on the road."
J grabbed my arm as I started to walk away. "What did you say?" He said it with such seriousness, I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not.
"Fernie said she gets around, you know what I mean?" I nudged him with my elbow and he broke into a full on belly laugh. "Did I miss something here?"
"Oh, baby," J said, wiping his eyes of the tears threatening to fall. "Shit. I'm sorry. Yes, you said something hysterical, but something we're gonna have to shelve until we get home. Then we can talk all about the infamous Isabel."
"You've piqued my interest, but not enough for me to push it." I linked my arm in his. "Let's do this so we can hit the road, my dear. The sooner we get home, the closer we get to whatever the fuck is going to be our normal."
We went back inside where Isabel sat the kitchen eating eggs and the bread J and I had declined. Fernie was nowhere to be found. Upon asking Isabel, I discovered Fernie was in the bathroom—and had been there for a long time. Isabel was eating the last of her breakfast so I decided to kick this plan into motion. I was ready to get moving.
I walked to the bathroom door and kicked it with my foot. "Hurry up and bust a nut so we can get out of here!" I yelled through the door.
"Elle!" Fernie screamed back in the highest voice I'd ever heard come from his mouth.
"Chop chop, my dear. We need to get moving. Hurry up and handle business so we can go." I pounded one last time on the door before walking away.
I entered the kitchen to find Isabel and J both in hysterics.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. You're beautiful and he's seventeen." I shrugged.
"No offense taken. I admire a woman with balls." Damn, even her accent was hot. I understood why she didn't have any trouble finding a man. If she wasn't so damn short, she could be a runway model. Chris would love to work on her face! I could already see her busting out the makeup bag and going to town on the perfect, almond shaped, dark eyes Isabel had.
Fernie came out of the bathroom staring at the floor.
"Come on, son," I put my arm around his shoulder and walked him outside. "Let's get this show on the road. I'm sleep deprived and delirious, so let's get in the car so I can pass out. You can take the front. I'll sleep in the back with Isabel."
Fernie exhaled a breath I'm sure he didn't realize he was holding. We all piled into the car, four people with one suitcase in the trunk. All I could do was hope this worked. J had given me both Fernie and Isabel's passport
s to hold onto. I was their mom after all, and that's what Mom's do, right?