day he’d met him, and he’d always be one.
Rush took a deep breath, forcing his voice to remain calm. “So what does this
mean, Lance?” He wanted Lance to be the one who said it first. After all, it was Lance
who started it.
“I think we should separate,” Lance said. “I have to go now. I’ll call you later this
week. I’m so sorry, Rush. I’m so very sorry. I didn’t plan for this to happen.” Then he
hung up the phone and the line went silent.
* * * *
For the next two days, Rush remained in bed. He didn’t eat, he didn’t shower,
and he didn’t get dressed. The only reason he was able to sleep was because he kept
taking dudes. He wanted to numb every inch of his body, inside and out. When he tried to imagine what his life would be like without Lance, he crawled to the bathroom and
vomited.
On the third day, the telephone rang. He was still in bed, wearing the same lounge
pants he’d been wearing all week. His hair was sticking up and his mouth felt crusty
because he hadn’t brushed his teeth in days. It was after ten o’clock at night in Malibu
and he had a feeling Lance was calling. He didn’t answer; he didn’t want to speak to
Lance. This was much worse than the first time they’d broken up, because they’d been
living together and sharing their lives as a couple for a long time. They’d made plans for
the future, and all those plans were gone now. The thought of talking to Lance about
money or how they would divide their assets made his hands tremble.
The phone rang seven times. Rush waited a few minutes and listened to the voice
mail. He squeezed the pillow, bracing himself for what Lance had to say. But it wasn’t
Lance. It was his aunt back in Connecticut. Her mild voice drifted from the speaker to his
tired ears like a dose of strong medicine. “I hope you’re okay, sweetie,” she said. Her
voice cracked a few times. “I had a bad dream about you last night and I’m worried. I
haven’t heard from you in almost a week and I miss your voice. Give me a call and let me
know you’re okay. If you need me, I’ll be on the next flight out.”
His eyes filled with tears. He knew how much his aunt hated flying, yet she was
willing to get on a plane, alone, if he needed her. He usually talked to her at least every
other day. She was the only family he had left in the world and he liked checking up on
her. But since his last talk with Lance, he hadn’t phoned anyone.
Suddenly, a feeling of calm passed through his body. He looked at the nightstand
and stared at a bottle of dudes. He picked up the bottle and threw it across the room with all his might. It hit the wall and the cap fell off. All the pills fell behind a dresser. He
crawled out of bed, stumbling on the floor more than once, and walked out the back door.
The cold night air penetrated his skin. He tripped over a rock and fell face first in the
sand. Then he lifted his head and crawled toward the ocean. When the cold water hit his
face, he looked up at the sky and tried to clench his fists. “No more,” he whispered. “I
want my life back, and I’m not going to let anyone or anything define me ever again.”
He remained there for a while. The cold salt water soothed his pain. He let the
waves pass over his body until his eyes were wide open and his legs felt strong enough to
walk. Then he stood up and walked back to the house. When he reached the bedroom, he
called his aunt. When she asked how he was, he smiled and said, “I’m fine. Actually, I’m
coming home tomorrow. And I’m coming for good.” His voice hadn’t been that steady
in months.
Chapter Twenty-Two
While Lance was talking to Bart Hasslet on the telephone in the other room, Cody
tiptoed to the doorway and leaned into the wall so he could hear what Lance was saying.
They’d just taken a shower together and Cody had given Lance such a long, slow blow
job, the sides of his face ached all the way back to his earlobes. He knew Lance was
going out alone that night, but Lance had been unusually evasive about his plans. After
the shower, he put on a tuxedo and smiled too much. He told Cody it was just another
boring business meeting with Bart and a new client.
Cody wanted to make sure Lance wasn’t meeting another guy. Since Lance had
left Rush, Lance and Cody had been sleeping together. Lance made it clear that they
weren’t involved in a serious romantic relationship—he’d told Cody from the start he
wasn’t getting seriously involved with anyone.
But Cody wasn’t about to let Lance Sharp, or anyone else, cheat on him. Cody
was a star and everyone knew he was sleeping with Lance. If Lance’s boring business
meeting wasn’t important, Lance wouldn’t have worn a tuxedo and he wouldn’t have left
the bedroom to speak to Bart in private. Cody knew there was something going on behind
his back and he was determined to find out what it was.
Their hotel suite was large, but Cody could see and hear everything Lance was
saying in the next room. Lance told Bart that Cody was in the bathroom and that Cody
had no idea where he was going that night. Then Lance rubbed his jaw and said, “I hate
lying to Cody this way. But I can’t take him with me to this press party. If Radcliff saw
me bring him into the room, Radcliff would go out of his mind. He actually called me this afternoon and told me, without thinking twice, to leave Cody at home. It’s better this
way. Besides, Cody needs his rest for opening night tomorrow. He’s been working hard
and I know he wants this show to be a hit.”
When Lance said goodbye and hung up the phone, Cody jogged back to the
bathroom and closed the door. A minute later, Lance knocked on the door and said, “I’m
leaving now. Do I get a kiss goodbye?”
Cody opened the door and smiled. He was naked and he’d just combed his hair.
He put his arms around Lance’s shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. “Be a good boy
tonight,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”
Lance patted his ass and smiled. “I won’t be late,” he said.
When Lance was gone, Cody opened his laptop and did a fast search for Radcliff
Benson. It wasn’t difficult to get the information he wanted. He discovered there was a
press party that night for Radcliff at one of New York’s most exclusive hotels. It was one
of those less publicized events, a photo opportunity where people within the industry got
together and celebrated each other while the press took pictures. Cody assumed they were
doing this because Radcliff’s new show had opened to more than a few bad reviews.
He closed the laptop and smiled. This was the chance of a lifetime to get even
with Radcliff Benson for having him fired once. He reached into the desk drawer and
pulled out a bottle of dudes. He took two pills and swallowed them back without water.
Since he’d started working on the new show,
Jump as High as you Can,
he’d started
taking dudes again. No one else knew he was taking the pills; they didn’t understand the
pressure he was under to make this show perfect. If the show failed, his career would be
ruined. He told himself he’d stop taking the pills after opening night. He’d be more relaxed then and he wouldn’t need them anymore. He was just using them to get through
a stressful time, and there was nothing wrong with that.
After he took the pills, he went to his closet and pulled out his own tuxedo. He
held it up and stared at the lapels with his tongue pressed to his cheek. It was just a dull
black suit. Every other man at the press party would be wearing the same thing, including
Radcliff. If he was going to crash the event and upstage Radcliff, he figured he had to do
it with a little more style than a boring tuxedo.
So he put the tuxedo back into the closest and reached for something else that was
covered in a heavy garment bag. It was a sexy, revealing costume, consisting of an
oversized black leather biker jacket with exaggerated zippers and nail heads, a pair of
black fishnet pantyhose, a black leather thong, and black biker boots with a four-inch heel.
His character in the play was an outrageous, drug-ravaged rock singer, and Cody would
be wearing this costume during a dramatic, intense dance scene in the play. This was the
showstopping song of the entire play, when he actually had to jump as high as he could.
Cody had been rehearsing it for weeks to make it perfect. The costume was in his closet
because he often rehearsed in his hotel room late at night when he couldn’t sleep, and he
liked to be completely in character when he rehearsed.
When Cody was dressed, he called a private limo service and said he needed a car
for the night. Then he looked into a full-length mirror and smiled. The black leather
jacket covered the top half of his firm ass, but the bottom half of his ass was almost
totally exposed through the fishnet pantyhose. The back of the black leather thong rode
up his ass crack and separated his ass cheeks, and the front of the thong rounded forward
and made his genitals look enormous. He took a few steps back and turned sideways, knowing that when he walked into the room where the press party was taking place,
everyone would turn away from Radcliff and stare at him. He couldn’t wait to see the
expression on Radcliff’s middle-aged face. Cody had been waiting for years to get even
with him.
Cody told the limo driver to circle the block a few times. He wanted to make his
grand entrance after Radcliff arrived, while all the guests were standing around
congratulating Radcliff on his new show and taking his picture. And Cody timed it with
perfection. When he finally did enter, Radcliff was standing in the middle of the banquet
room, surrounded by members of the press and photographers. The entire room went
silent, then began to applaud him. Cody lifted his head, smiled, and walked through the
banquet room alone. People stared at his half-naked ass and murmured things to each
other. The photographers turned away from Radcliff and started taking Cody’s picture.
Cody tried to ignore Radcliff completely, but he did take a quick glance in Radcliff’s
direction to see the expression on his face. Radcliff’s hands were clenched together below
his waist. His jaw dropped, his eyebrows pointed down, and it looked as if he was about
to stomp his feet.
Cody continued to smile and nod at the guests, then went to where Lance and Bart
were standing and gave Bart a kiss on the cheek. Bart gave Lance a look and frowned.
Lance turned to Cody and said, “What are you doing here? And why are you wearing that
costume?”
Cody patted Lance on the back and said, “I just wanted to drop by and
congratulate Radcliff on his new show, is all. I hope I’m not interrupting anything. I
thought that if I wore the costume, it would be good publicity for opening night.” Lance frowned and rubbed his jaw. He stared at his shoes, not knowing what to
say or how to reply.
Cody knew Lance couldn’t argue with him: it
was
good publicity for the show.
The press loved seeing Cody look so good after his time at The Harvey Milk Clinic. Bart,
however, left them alone. He ran over to Radcliff and whispered something into
Radcliff’s ear. The entire room was talking about Cody by then. They came over to
congratulate him on his new show and to wish him the best on opening night. He smiled
at everyone and posed for the cameras, and even waved at Radcliff from across the room.
Radcliff stood there glaring at him with tight lips, whispering something into Bart’s ear,
shaking his fist the entire time. When Cody lifted his arms all the way up, exposing his
entire ass in fishnet pantyhose so the photographers could get some good photos, Radcliff
pointed his finger in Bart’s face and stormed off to the bathroom alone. No one even saw
him leave the banquet room; no one cared. They were all too busy staring at Cody’s sexy
costume.
But Cody saw him leave. He waited for a few minutes, shaking a few more hands
and smiling for a few more photos. Then he politely excused himself and headed to the
bathroom alone. When he opened the bathroom door, Radcliff Benson was lighting a
cigarette in front of a long row of gilded mirrors.
Cody walked to the sink and looked into a mirror. He smoothed the back of his
head and said, “You should consider giving up smoking, Radcliff. It causes wrinkles, old
boy.”
Radcliff took a hard drag and lifted his right eyebrow. He smiled and said, “I’d
like to put it out right in your face, you little cunt.” Cody stepped away from the mirror and faced him. His eyebrows went up and he