Rafa stared at his mother. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” She patted his knee. “As Adriana would say, it’s my issue. I’m sorry I let it affect you so much. It’s silly now that I say it out loud.”
“I guess we all have issues.” Rafa tried to imagine his mother as a little girl, but couldn’t quite.
“Rafa, we were wondering…” Camila paused. “Well, we wanted to know…is there anyone special? A young man you’ve managed to keep hidden?”
His heart skipped. “No,” he said too quickly. “Not yet. I was so busy with school.”
“Well. Yes, plenty of time for…that.” She shifted uncomfortably.
Rafa tried to imagine what they’d say if they found out about Shane, and nausea rolled through him. No, better to cross that bridge later. Much, much later.
Unless Shane tells the truth to the Secret Service.
Rafa couldn’t see why he would, but the longer he went without being able to talk to Shane, the more his imagination went into overdrive. Surely Shane wouldn’t tell a soul. He had more to lose than Rafa did.
“There’s one more thing, son.” Ramon put his hand on Rafa’s arm. “We know it won’t be pleasant, but you’ll have to answer some questions for the Secret Service.”
Rafa’s pulse thundered. “About what?”
Ramon’s brows drew together. “The abduction, of course. We’ve put them off this long, but you’ll have to meet with them tomorrow morning. It’s necessary, I’m afraid. You might have seen something, or heard something that could help.”
“I don’t think so.” Rafa went back to his nail, peeling off a strip. “I was pretty much just in the metal box until Shane rescued me.”
Camila shuddered. “Oh, darling. I can’t imagine.” She ran her hand over his head.
“It was…bad.” He shuddered as he remembered the sensation of being blind, squashed in the box with his muscles cramping. “Why would they do that to me? I mean, what was their plan?”
His father squeezed Rafa’s shoulder. “Terrorists want to disrupt our lives. Instill fear in us. They’re cowards. When all is said and done, the why doesn’t even matter. These people aren’t worth another moment of our thoughts.” He grimaced. “Of course that’s easier said than done. If they’d succeeded…taken you away…”
“It’s okay. Shane saved me. I’m fine, Dad. I am.”
Ramon kissed the side of Rafa’s head. “You’re a brave boy.”
“Um, thanks.” Rafa’s palms were sweaty, but he managed to keep his tone casual. “Hey, can you get Shane’s number? I really want to thank him again.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be able to once the investigation is over,” Ramon replied, tugging on his tie.
Rafa sat up straighter. “Why can’t I thank him now?”
“Darling, I’m sure he’s very busy.” Camila rubbed his arm. “Now, let’s talk about—”
“What aren’t you telling me?” He looked between his parents.
His father sighed. “Rafa, we don’t know yet how this happened. Or who was involved.”
“I thought they were Chechen.”
“Yes, the kidnappers were. But to get to you the way they did, they had help.”
“Yeah, but…” Rafa’s mouth went dry. “Wait. Not from Shane. Is that what the Secret Service thinks?” He jumped to his feet. “He didn’t help them. They almost killed him! I saw the bullet hit his head! The blood. And he
saved
me. He killed them all!”
“All right, all right.” Ramon stood as well and put his hands on Rafa’s shoulders. “We’re not accusing Agent Kendrick of anything. They’re investigating, and I’m sure they’ll discover the truth very soon.”
Rafa forced himself to inhale and exhale slowly. “Okay.”
Calm down. Don’t let them see. Shane’s innocent. He’s fine.
“Let’s go down to the kitchen and get a snack.” Camila led Rafa away from the couch. “Don’t worry about any of that now, all right? You have a future to plan. You can tell us more about Australia. We were there what, five years ago, Ramon? We held a koala. I think it was as stoned as a hippie.”
As his mother talked, Rafa followed his parents downstairs and told himself not to worry. And as he thought of planning his future, he knew without a doubt he didn’t want one without Shane.
“Jules.” Shane forced a smile as he opened his arms. It was getting late, and the hospital was quiet. Nguyen and Harris had driven him over, and now they hung back at the end of the hall. “How is he?” Shane asked, holding Jules close, her dark head just reaching his shoulder.
She stepped back and nodded. “Much better than yesterday. He’s been able to talk. He can’t remember anything.” She rubbed her red, puffy eyes. “But he’s going to make it.”
“Thank God.” The relief warred with the horrible suspicion growing stronger and stronger. Shane’s throat was dry. “How’s Dylan?”
“As well as can be expected. I’m keeping him away from the hospital.” She pressed her lips together. “He’s had enough of hospitals already, and there’ll be so much more to come.”
“And how are you?” He squeezed her shoulder.
Jules shrugged. “One day at a time and all that crap.” She nodded to an older man at the other end of the hall. “My dad’s going to take me home to sleep. You can go in and see Alan for a minute. He was asking about you.” She smiled tremulously. “I’m so glad you’re okay and that you got that poor boy back. When I think about how it could have gone, I just—” She shuddered. “Thank God it turned out the way it did.”
“I know.”
But the worst might still be coming.
“Rest up. I’ll see you soon.” He hugged her again, and Jules kissed his cheek before walking away. Shane took a few deep breaths. Nguyen and Harris were still in conversation at the end of the long hall. Feeling like he was outside his body, Shane moved his feet.
At the threshold to hospital room 21C, he stopped. The steady
beep-beep-beep
of Alan’s heartbeat pinged in the stillness.
Bile rose in Shane’s throat. It couldn’t be true. There had to be another explanation. There was no way Alan was involved. It was impossible. Utterly impossible. Could he really have done it? Christ, not Al.
Please let me be wrong.
Alan’s eyes were shut, but he must have sensed someone, and he blinked blearily, a smile trying to lift his lips. But then something flickered across his expression, his eyes widening.
It was fear and shame, and it was unmistakable.
The air whooshed out of Shane, and he shook his head as he shuffled his feet forward, closing the door behind him. “Tell me it isn’t true.” His voice cracked, and the words cut like shattered glass. “Please, Al.”
Swallowing thickly, Alan licked his lips. His skin was almost as pale as the clear tube in his nose. “What?” he croaked.
Shane stopped beside the bed. There were flowers on every surface, and an old picture of the Pearce family before they’d lost Jessica sat in a frame on the closest table. They had wide smiles and arms around each other. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you?”
“Kenny…”
“How did they get to you? You know, it doesn’t even matter. Was it money? How much was Rafa worth? And how much for my life? It was just dumb luck that bullet missed. Did they turn on you, or was your bullet supposed to be the one that grazed?”
Alan shook his head, his lips trembling. Days of beard growth darkened his face, making his skin even paler.
“Yeah, guess they double-crossed you. HQ thinks it was me. And I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out who could have done it. But now I see. It had to be you. When we reached that rest stop and I went inside, you didn’t call Harris. I thought maybe he was the one. That he was lying. Because I knew you’d called. I heard you on the phone as I left. But you weren’t calling him at all. You were giving them the all-clear to approach. How did they follow?”
Lips parted, Alan breathed hard with wide eyes.
Shane’s own voice sounded distant. “Was it a tracker hidden on you somewhere? Or did you just call them? Did you have another phone that HQ couldn’t trace? I was so focused on Rafa that I didn’t notice. That way they could follow and stay a few miles behind. Far enough that I wouldn’t see them. Were they on standby, waiting for your call and the right opportunity? Bet they were. These fuckers are nothing if not patient, huh?”
Alan just stared at him, and the rapid beeping of his monitor filled the room with staccato sound.
“Were you going to let me go down for it too?”
“No!” Alan coughed violently before settling. His voice scratched roughly. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“Right. Because I was supposed to be dead.”
“
No.
Don’t you see?”
“See what?” Shane shouted. “What the fuck did you do, Al?”
“It was only supposed to be me who died. That was the deal.”
An older nurse opened the door and strode into the room. “Alan? Is everything all right?” She circled the bed and leaned over him. “Okay, that’s enough excitement. Sir, visiting hours are over. You have to leave.”
“No.” Shane barely looked at her.
“Excuse me? Don’t make me call security. I don’t care who you are or what badge you carry. I won’t have you agitating my patient.”
Shane breathed deeply through the urge to scream and throw one of the vases of flowers through the window.
“It’s all right,” Alan rasped. “Please. He has to stay.”
The nurse frowned, her hands on her hips. “A few more minutes, but you have to calm yourself.” She helped him drink some water and then eyed the IV bag attached to his arm. “Maybe it’s time for another dose of morphine.”
Alan shook his head. “I need to think.”
“We’ll be fine,” Shane said, surprised by how calm he sounded to his own ears. The nurse didn’t look convinced, but left as Shane turned back to this stranger who wore his friend’s face.
Clenching his hands into fists, Shane kept his voice even. “Tell me about the deal.”
Alan was quiet for several moments. Then, his gaze on the ceiling, he whispered, “Ten million offshore. Untraceable. Half up front.” He breathed in and out, in and out, his chest rising and falling with effort. “Jules would get it as an anonymous donation in a month. Even if the other half wasn’t delivered, it was enough for her and Dylan to go to Sweden for the experimental treatment. And with my death benefits as well, she wouldn’t have to worry. I could take care of them.”
“By
dying
? By leaving them alone?” Shane wished to God he was sleeping and this was a nightmare.
“What good have I done them?” Tears slipped down Alan’s cheeks. “I killed Jessica, and Dylan won’t be too long behind her. I had to make it right. It was the only way I could save Dylan and leave them secure. The government’s slashed benefits to the living, but a dead Secret Service agent is still worth a lot.”
“And if I died too, that was okay?”
“No!” Alan shook his head violently, finally meeting Shane’s gaze again. “It was only supposed to be me. I swear. They were just going to knock you out. We had a deal!”
“And if you can’t trust terrorist scum to keep their word, who can you trust these days, huh?” Shane’s skin crawled, and he dug his nails into his palms. “They came a millimeter from splashing my brains over that rest stop.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like that. It wasn’t!”
Shane had to take a breath and swallow down his shout so he could calmly ask, “And how was it supposed to be for Rafa?”
Alan squeezed his eyes shut, more tears escaping. “They promised not to kill him,” he whispered. “They were going to trade him for war prisoners in Russia. Get Castillo to arrange a deal.”
“And we know what their fucking promises are worth!” Shane slammed his fist into the mattress, looming over Alan. “You gave him up to those bastards. They crammed him into a little metal box. God knows where they were taking him, and what they’d do. How many body parts they’d cut off to FedEx to the president as they made their demands.” Spit flew from his lips, and heat rushed through him. “How could you do that to him? He never hurt anyone. He’s a good kid. A good man. It was our job to protect him. To
die
for him. You betrayed him. What did he do to deserve that?”
Alan’s lips trembled. “It wasn’t personal. I—”
“And what about me? Wasn’t personal with me either?
I
trusted you.” Shane angrily swiped his wet eyes. “You were my brother, Al. Even if they hadn’t killed me, do you know what it was like seeing you shot? Knowing Rafa was gone? We give our lives to this job. To fail is the worst thing we can do. You betrayed me. Betrayed the service. Everything we stand for.”
“Yes, we give our lives,” Alan spat, his breath coming faster and his cheeks flushing. “And what do they give us? I did my tour in the sandbox in Afghanistan. Then I joined the service to protect America’s leaders. To keep America safe at home. And when Jessica was diagnosed, what did they give me? A denial of benefits. They found a loophole. I tried everything. Talked to a hundred people. No one could help. Their hands were tied.” He gripped the sheets. “I heard it over and over. Everyone at the insurance company and the benefits office was
sorry
. They were so fucking
sorry.
But they didn’t do a damn thing.”
Fury and sorrow and compassion scraped Shane raw and hollow. “It doesn’t make this right.”
“What’s right in this world anymore? We mortgaged our house as many times as we could. Racked up every penny of our credit. I watched my little girl die, and my country stood by and did nothing.
Nothing
! That bastard Castillo approved the cuts in our benefits. He slashed healthcare across the board for government employees. Oh, but not the senators or the congresspeople. No, they still get their packages and their vacation time and their big, fat salaries for bleeding the rest of us dry.” He gritted his teeth. “I couldn’t watch Dylan die too. Couldn’t do it. When the Chechens approached me, it…it felt like a sign. Like fate.”
“This wasn’t the way, Al. How could you ever think it was?” The anger had drained out of him. Shane wanted to curl up and sleep, and wake to find the world the way it had been that morning, before he knew this terrible truth. “I know it isn’t fair that Jessica died. That Dylan has the same disease. It isn’t fucking fair. And it isn’t fair that the insurance company wouldn’t pay. But this wasn’t the way. This was never the way.”