There was no other way but to just come out with it. “I know you love him because he’s a part of you, but… His mother—his other mother—isn’t a female, you get that, right? Dillon, the man heading the Highgate group? It’s him. Jace isn’t used to females in his immediate life, so you and Terena will possibly have to tread carefully. Be his friends rather than his family at first, yeah?”
She nodded. Swallowed. “I’ll be whatever he wants me to be.”
“Good.” Vann smiled, relieved she’d taken the news well. “And he has a mate. A man he’s known since childhood. Louie. So your only chance of grandchildren is with Terena.” He laughed, pleased to see that bit of information didn’t matter in the slightest.
Their bonding moment had passed, and each of them sat in their usual places—parents on the sofa, Vann and Terena in matching chairs.
“What will you do now?” Vann asked, looking at his father.
“We were hoping to remain here, son. I have my medical supplies, my lab, all I need to work to help the children.” He shrugged. “But if they want me to go to one of the hospitals and live at another institute, that’s what I’ll do. I owe it to the cubs to make things right.” He sighed. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I allowed to happen.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Vann said. “We were trapped here.”
“I wish we’d…” His mother stared out of the window, eyes glazed.
“Stayed free?” Vann finished for her. “But you didn’t, and that wasn’t your fault either. Being captured, brought back here… It was all out of your control. No one blames you. It’s like Kip saying he should take the blame because his mother gave birth to the cubs. It doesn’t work like that. They were forced to come here, his mother was…forced to go with that lion. What’s done is done.” He smiled at Kip’s saying.
“Where is Kip?” his mother asked.
“Visiting the children at the pack house. He’s trying to explain what happened and what the plans are for the future.” Vann scrubbed his chin. “Alpha Newart has brought a psychologist with him. She’s also with the cubs—she’ll know how to help them understand. It’ll be a long process, like it will for everyone who lived here, but we’ll all get through.”
“You were victorious, son, as I knew you would be.” His father grinned widely. “You saved us all.”
“Not just me. Kip…I couldn’t have done it without him.” Vann reached out mentally to Kip then, asking if he was all right. “One second.” He held his hand up to let his family know he was tuning in.
“The children are very receptive, Sir. It must be their youth, but they seem to understand that life will get better for them. One has attached herself to me and says she wants to be called Scarlet.”
Vann felt Kip’s happiness, his relief that everything had worked out okay. Who would have thought their escape would bring this about? Yeah, they’d hoped—hoped so goddamned hard—but had never quite believed they’d pull it off.
“Good. Maybe everyone will be just as receptive.”
He pushed his love toward Kip.
“Not Caleb, Sir. He’ll take a while. He can’t imagine leaving. He’s frightened of what’s out there.”
“Then maybe Alpha Newart will appoint him as alpha—Caleb has the heart and fire for it. Or he will have once he’s gotten over the shock. He was always so strong, so sensible. And he loves this place.”
“Dillon said something similar, Sir. And Caleb’s family want to stay here, as do others, except the majority are excited to catch the bus to the city and get jobs, live a normal life. It’ll all turn out right, you’ll see.”
“What will we do? Where do you want to go?”
Vann asked.
“Wherever you are, Sir. The location doesn’t matter.”
“Highgate?”
“If that’s where you’ll be happy, Sir. That’s all I care about.”
Vann staved off the burn of tears. Kip was his life, his everything. Without him…
“Okay, I’ll see you shortly, Kip.”
“Bye for now.”
Vann gave his family his attention. “We’ll be going back to Highgate with Dillon and the others,” Vann said, looking at them one after the other to see if they’d object. “I loved it there, and Jace… I want to be with him, to go back so he doesn’t feel abandoned again. He needs to know we’re there for him, even if he doesn’t want to become too attached. I just…need to do this.”
His mother smiled. “So you’ll watch out for him until we can come to visit? If you’re there, I can rest easier if we have to move from here. Who knows what hospital institute we’ll be at if Alpha Newart prefers your father to do his work elsewhere.”
“I will.” Vann stood. “I’m off now to meet with Dillon to let him know our decision. Sergeant, that’s Jace’s father”—he gave his dad an apologetic look—“said we’re welcome, but I’d like to make sure.”
“They sound like good people,” his father said. “Thank God Sergeant was the one to find Jace on the road. If he hadn’t—”
“But he did,” Vann said. “And he’s a great man, honest and kind. You’ll get along well with him.”
Vann left after another family hug, making his way toward the main pack house. It felt strange to actually be wearing clothes again. Other than the trip from Highgate to Crossways, he hadn’t been dressed in ages. There was something about walking without the encumbrance of material that made him feel good.
I could get used to that…
“I don’t think the Highgate pack would appreciate you strolling round naked, Sir. When shifting it’s natural. No one takes any notice, but all the time?”
Vann laughed quietly.
“I wasn’t planning on it in public, but in private? Yeah, I could go with that. You?”
“I’d be quite happy to parade in front of you without clothes on, Sir. You should know that already. It’s something I’ve looked forward to from the moment I fell in love with you.”
“I know, it’s the same for me. What are you doing now?”
“I’m on my way to my room. There’s nothing else I can do for the cubs. They’re busy with the psychologist, who seems to have fallen in love with them. She’s a single woman and made a point of saying she’s willing to adopt if that was needed—not the usual practice but there you go. I’m happy about that. They need someone like her. So I wanted to gather some clothes if we’re moving to Highgate.”
“May I join you after I’ve spoken to Dillon?”
“You may, Sir. I’ll wait for you. Naked.”
“That can wait until the hotel room, or when we get back to Highgate.”
“Spoilsport…”
Vann laughed again, loudly this time, then immediately stopped, glancing about to see if anyone was there to hear him. Then he realized it didn’t matter if they were. He could do what he liked now. It seemed surreal that he was free on Crossways land, and he understood how Caleb couldn’t get his head around the changes. This place held so many memories—negative ones that would only serve to keep Vann from being his true self if he let them remain in his mind. The air held an oppressive quality, as though the breeze contained eyes that reported his every move. Even if those eyes were only in Vann’s imagination now, he couldn’t stay here. He’d forever be looking over his shoulder just in case things switched back to how they’d been before.
He reached the pack house and went inside, following the sound of Dillon’s voice. He found him in the community room with Alpha Newart and his men, Marcus and Robert. Dillon sat casually naked, as if it were the most natural thing to do.
Alpha Newart stood, and Vann dipped his head.
“Hello, sir.”
“Be seated.” Alpha Newart gestured to one of the free chairs then sat back down. “I’m pleased you’re here. I didn’t get the chance to thank you properly at Highgate for what you’ve done. Your determination to save a whole pack warrants a medal.”
“It’s nothing, sir.” Vann’s face heated. To be praised by their overall leader wasn’t something he thought he’d ever see. To meet other wolves from other packs wasn’t something he’d really thought would happen either.
“Nothing?” Alpha Newart smiled. “Modesty—I like that in a wolf, which is why I wanted to offer you the position of alpha here.”
Vann blinked, his stomach coiling into knots. Would he have to accept? He wasn’t sure how these things worked. Were there rules in the shifter world where if an alpha position was offered a wolf had to take it no matter what? The fear of having to remain here rose up in him, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to lie or accept gracefully. “I’m very flattered by your offer, sir, but please, if it’s possible, I’d like to decline. I can’t…” He looked around the room, searching for the right words to say. “I can’t bear to stay here. My life…it was a prison sentence, one I got to spend with my family but a sentence all the same. The thought of being here for the rest of my life isn’t something that would make me happy. I wouldn’t rule as I should. I’d be constantly wishing I wasn’t here.”
“I understand.” Alpha Newart reached out to place a hand over one of Vann’s. “The position was an offer, not an order. Perhaps, having lived here all your life, you might have a suggestion as to who would be suitable? As you must understand, Crossways has been kept secluded and I’ve had no access that would allow me to get to know the people here. I wouldn’t want to choose the wrong person.”
“Caleb,” Vann said without thinking. “The wolf who killed Foster. Kip, my mate, said Caleb is frightened of leaving Crossways. It’s all he knows. And there are others who apparently want to stay. He’s always been a good man, was a good cub while we were growing up.”
Alpha Newart nodded, taking his hand away. “Then I’ll talk to one of the older shifters to find out some information on him before I offer him the job. I assume Caleb has been here your whole life?”
“I don’t recall a time he wasn’t here,” Vann said, “but that’s not a guarantee he wasn’t brought in when I was too young to remember.”
“Okay. If the information I receive about him is to my satisfaction, I’ll ask him. I’d appreciate it if you’d keep my plans to yourself for the time being—sharing them only with Kip, as I wouldn’t expect you to shield something from your mate. That wouldn’t be right. Thank you for your help in this matter—and for being honest.” Alpha Newart smiled. “What will you do if this land makes you so uncomfortable? Where will you go?”
“That’s what I came here to ask.” Vann looked at Dillon. “If it would be possible, could me and Kip go to Highgate with you?”
Dillon grinned. “Of course. You have family there.”
“Thank you,” Vann said.
“Will you ever come back here?” Alpha Newart asked. “If, say…your parents were to remain?”
“No, sir. I would arrange to meet them elsewhere.”
“Are they amenable to leaving Crossways?” Alpha Newart raised his eyebrows. “I’m asking you because I don’t want to cause them any more distress. Your father’s role in all this was a terrible tragedy, one I suspect will stay with him for the rest of his life. Heaping more demands on him at this time isn’t something I’m prepared to do if he’s fragile.”
“They’ll go wherever you want them to be, sir. My father just wants to put things right.”
“Good, then I shall offer them a home elsewhere. I had news from the psychologist that although the children are already coming on in leaps and bounds, they would fare better in a different environment. The upheaval of moving in circumstances like this is generally deemed to do more harm than good because the children are used to it here. But they’ve voiced wanting to see the ocean, and I’d hate to deny them when there’s a perfectly wonderful hospital institute right by the sea.” He nodded absently. “Of course, I’d need Kip’s consent, and he will have to sign papers because they’re his siblings. What are his feelings on all this, do you know?”
“He’s the same as my father. He wants what’s best. If we can visit the children from time to time? Kip would like to get to know them.”
Alpha Newart beamed. “This is all working out so very well. Yes, you’re welcome to visit whenever you like. With your parents at the same place, a great time will be had by all, I’m sure. Perhaps Jace would go with you?”
Vann looked at Dillon.
“Jace is…” Dillon rested a finger across his chin. “Jace is a difficult person to understand. He may need time, but I’m sure in years to come…”
“Yes, yes,” Alpha Newart said. “That boy has had a lot to come to terms with. As we all have. But there are brighter days ahead, ones filled with sunshine.”
Hope soared anew inside Vann. He’d take sunshine any day over the dark, repressive days of the winter his life had been so far.
Chapter Ten
Kip felt Vann’s awkwardness. They were back at Highgate, arriving with just the clothes on their backs and a few in a holdall each. Jace walked across the lawn toward them in wolf form, having just scarpered from the oak trees. Louie was with him, Jace seeming subdued now he’d spotted Kip and Vann. Hadn’t news spread of their coming to live here?
The wolves approached, Louie with a loose-limbed gait, Jace all stiff and bristly. At the porch, Louie shifted then moved to the clothes bin where everyone stashed their things before shifting. He dressed with his back to them, quickly, turning once he’d gotten his jeans and T-shirt on. Jace remained as a wolf, staring at Vann as though he considered him an intruder. There was some kind of accusation in his eyes, or maybe that was apprehension?
Louie came to stand beside Kip. “Look, he doesn’t mean to be so…aloof. He’s got a lot on his mind and he’s trying so hard to be a better person. Just give him time, all right?”
“We didn’t come out here to…” Vann shrugged. “We were just on our way to your old apartment when you came running out.”
Kip nudged Vann, back to their old way of doing things now the mission was over. Vann nodded his permission for Kip to speak.
“We can stay away from you, if you want,” Kip said, looking at Jace. “It’s hard for you, we understand that. Hard for us too. We need to adjust to living somewhere that allows us freedom. We’ve been living a life where being monitored is normal. As you can imagine, adjusting will take a while.” He smiled to show he and Vann meant no harm. “We’re all having to adjust but in different ways. So we get it, we really do. Vann will wait for you, Jace. It’s on your terms—you getting to know each other, I mean.”