Vessel (7 page)

“But my face … ”

“I’m not afraid of your face. I’ve seen much worse in my travels.”

I released the tunic in my hands and pushed back the drape until I could see Recks’s face with my one good eye. In the sunlight, although his features were like mine, his eyes were clear green like the water in the spring. I tried to say the words I thought I should.

“I don’t want … ” The sound died in my throat. I looked down at the dirt on my hands.

Recks nodded. “I thought so.”

“I don’t want to stay here, but how can I leave?”

“We’ll make a plan, a better one this time.”

“What about the Tale Tellers?”

“They’re friends, but they don’t know about you. They only know I’m a wanted man. They helped me with the disguise. You like it?” Recks pet his wild red hair like a girl. Sitting this close to him, I saw the gray shadow of stubble on his chin.

“You may want to shave, Mistress,” I teased.

Recks examined his own reflection in the pool, running a hand over his chin. “You’re not kidding,” he said.

I wrung out the last of my washing and put it in my basket. “You can’t stay here, Recks. Someone will recognize you sooner or later.”

“We’ll leave tomorrow night. Can you meet me here? After dark?”

“It’ll have to be late.”

“No matter. Just so long as you come.”

My brain was crazy with thoughts, but I did my best to stay practical. “Should I bring supplies?”

“Some food would be good, but we need to travel light. We’ll be on foot.”

“Okay,” I said, standing. I slung the basket of heavy wet clothing over my shoulder. Recks grabbed my hand as I turned to go.

“Alana?”

“Yes?”

“Promise me you’ll come?”

My heart was already soaring with the blackbirds in the warm summer sky.

“I promise.”

I pet Puka as I fed her some wild grass seed I’d collected for the chickens, her gray and black feathers soft under my hands.

“I’ll miss you when I’m gone,” I told her. “If you ever see Dine coming with a hatchet, run into the woods and hide.”

I was the wild bird now. It was my turn to be freed. A sure sign the day would be hot, the bugs were already singing in the trees, but nothing would upset me today. I’d spent all night thinking of what to bring and what to leave. I’d gather none of it until late, when everyone slept. I couldn’t risk someone noticing the food missing before I left. Instead, I thought and rethought every move in my head, where the bread was, the boots I needed, and the water bag.

Shel’s feet were roughly the same size as mine, so I figured I might as well take her boots. If I were caught, stolen boots wouldn’t make my punishment any worse. And I would need them much more than her. After what she’d done to me, I felt no remorse.

I hadn’t planned on another trip to the market, but Dine had ideas of his own.

“Take those potatoes back and see if you can get some cloth for them,” he said, holding up his threadbare shirt. I wished I hadn’t scrubbed it so hard the day before, knowing potatoes would never buy any cloth. At least it’d make a good excuse to see Recks dressed as a girl one more time.

I walked to the market with a swing in my step. The weight of the potato sack across my back was no more than a feather to me. I would’ve had trouble hiding my smile if it’d not been for the
billa
. Dine wasn’t far behind me, and I reminded myself to walk, not skip like I felt doing. He’d know something was amiss. I never skipped, never danced or sang, but I felt like doing all those things. One day I would. I felt it. Even the thought of Dine behind me couldn’t bring me down. Soon his scraggly beard and chipped gray teeth would be just a bad dream.

I went straight to the weaver’s booth not worrying about whether they would take the potatoes or not. A merry tune filled the air. Most people crowded around the performers again. My happiness melted away when I saw Dine walking to the Tale Teller’s show out of the corner of my eye. There, he joined Shel, who brayed a laugh. She didn’t worry me. She’d never seen Recks. Most people hadn’t. I held my breath and hoped Dine hadn’t either. Only Tow might be able to tell.

Ever since the prisoners’ escape, Tow kept to himself, rarely socializing with anyone. His standing in Roma had fallen. Even Dine sent me to Tow’s less often. There was talk of him moving on. Maybe he already had.

I ignored the cloth vendor. Instead, I watched the Tale Tellers. This time, Recks also acted out a part of his own, carrying a goat-hoof rattle, which he shook at various points in the story. I smiled at his dress, but no one else noticed his heavy eyebrows or his cracking voice.

When the tale was finished and the crowd wandered away, Dine stayed by the colorful wagon, talking to the blond man. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw Dine gesture to the gray horse tied to the front of the wagon. How could I warn Recks? Dine recognized the horse just as I had.

There was little I could do. Recks stood too close to Dine. If I approached him now, I risked exposing him. I strained to hear them, but I was too far away. Maybe if I edged closer, pretending to need to speak to Dine, I could at least hear what was going on. I inched across the market toward them. Dine and the blond man raised their voices. I knew the pinched quality in Dine’s voice meant he was growing angry.

“I only asked you where you got it,” Dine said.

“Just a man on the road,” said the blond man even louder.

“This is a Reticent’s horse. It’s stolen!”

“Rubbish! I’ve never met a Reticent in my life.”

“That’s what I’m saying, fool! You bought it from a thief, you idiot!”

The Tale Teller’s wife stood next to him, growing more and more flustered. “No, we didn’t,” she sputtered. “We bought it from him.” She pointed a finger at Recks. Everyone froze: Dine because he was confused and the woman because she realized what she’d done. She giggled nervously.

“I mean, her.”

Without a word, Dine reached up and yanked Recks’s flaming red hair off his head. Dine swung hard at Recks’s jaw, but Recks ducked. Dine smashed his fist into the side of the wagon. With a quick tug on the knot in the horse’s rope, Recks untied the animal and leapt onto its back, kicking it hard. The horse reared and neighed. People scattered. Dine grabbed for Recks, but the horse moved away, threatening to stomp Dine with its giant hooves. Recks wheeled the horse around in circles, looking for an escape route. His eyes landed on me, and he steered the horse in my direction as if to run me over.

Confused, I dropped the potatoes and stumbled back. Recks caught me with an arm under mine and pulled me up on the side of the horse. My
billa
fell off, and I screamed more in surprise than fear. Recks never let go. He pulled hard on me until I was upright on the horse. The animal galloped like a demon fleeing the light. Behind us, Dine screamed in rage, but soon it was no more than the caw of a crow.

The sunlight blinded me, but I felt the wind in my long hair, the horse moving beneath me, and Recks’s arm tight around my waist. I was the bird flying away. I thought I might explode from happiness.

We rode all day, past forests and meadows and towns I’d never seen before, until the horse could go no further. With my
billa
gone, I let my hair fall over my face in a dark wave, hoping it’d at least cover the damaged part. I was glad Recks sat behind me and couldn’t see my face well, even though I knew he wouldn’t have minded.

Nightfall was a relief. Recks guided the horse to a lake surrounded by trees, where she could drink and we could rest. Not used to riding, my body hurt in places I’d never felt before but my stomach ached even more. I wished I hadn’t dropped the potatoes. In this place, I didn’t know where to begin looking for food. I sat on the ground, rubbing my sore muscles, and let my hair fall across my face. I found myself wishing for the warmth of my mat back in Roma. Recks collected kindling and made a fire without speaking. He looked at me once or twice, his eyes curious.

“You should have left me,” I said.

“What kind of talk is that?”

“Stealing another man’s property? They’ll be hunting you for sure. If I’d just disappeared one night, they’d think I’d run away.”

“You’re not property. You’re a human being, Alana. Besides, they’ll never find us where we’re going.”

Recks put something in my hand—a bit of dried meat I devoured ravenously.

“Where did you get this?” I asked.

“I kept some supplies on the horse just in case.”

“I had everything planned, all the things I’d bring. Now I have nothing,” I lamented.

“We will make do,” he said, chewing his jerky with slow, deliberate movements, as if thinking. The world darkened around us, and the fireflies floated amongst the grass like tiny, flickering lanterns. I watched them, able to see them clearly without the
billa
in the way. I lay down and looked up at the silhouettes of the trees against the blue-black sky.

“Where are we going, Recks?”

Recks lay down across the fire from me. “I still want to go to Lhasayushu.”

“But I thought you needed Kinder to show you the way?”

“It would’ve been better, but he told me how to get there while we were locked up together. I think we can still find it.”

“What if it was just a story? He did leave you. What kind of friend would leave without saying goodbye?”

“I’m sure he had his reasons.”

“What if he lied?”

“I don’t think it was a lie.”

“All men lie.”

Recks didn’t answer that. We lay there, listening to the wood sizzle and pop in the fire as it sent sparks into the sky. My eyelids drooped as the smoke drifted over me.

“What’s your story, Alana?” he said, waking me from the first moments of sleep.

“Hmm?”

“How did you get to Roma?”

“I’ve been Master Dine’s since I was two. I remember a long journey but only bits and pieces. Dine told me my mother sold me to Weevil for no more than a loaf of bread.”

“Why do you never look at me?”

“I’m not allowed. And … I’m ugly.”

Recks got up and moved closer to me so he could see my face. He stared hard at me.

“You aren’t ugly, but you’ve been damaged,” he said, brushing my hair away from my burns. “In fact, you’re beautiful.”

I flinched at his touch. Did he intend to have his way with me like Dine and Tow? I refused to meet his gaze.

“Your eyes are like mine. You must be from the East.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone like me.” I closed my eyes and hoped he would get it over with quickly. I already hurt from the day’s ride. There wasn’t much more he could do to me.

Instead, he moved his hand away. “Are you in pain?” he asked.

“Some,” I said, my eyes still closed.

“I know a tea for that. I’ll make you some.”

“It will be all right if I can sleep.” My body relaxed when I felt him move away from me. All I wanted was to sleep and to know I was safe. If I lay very still, the pain became a thing separate from me. I could float away from it, drift into unconsciousness, into my own river. I fell asleep long before his tea brewed, but it was waiting for me when I woke up.

The tea was bitter on my tongue, like medicine. I thought of the
hippa
but this was different. Its warmth soothed my throat and woke me up enough to realize Recks wasn’t within sight. The horse chewed on some grass by the lake, so I knew he couldn’t be far. I munched a small cake of seeds he’d left by the tea and waited for him to return.

After awhile, I went down to the lake to wash my face and hands. The morning was so still the water reflected my image like glass.
Recks said I was beautiful.
The left side of my face was unblemished, the skin smooth, the eye perfectly shaped. The right was burned almost beyond recognition; the tight skin around my eye could barely open. My once full lips were even thicker there. I wasn’t sure which side was truly me. I only knew I was unique. There was no one like me. I wasn’t as frightening as I’d been told, though. Weevil was much scarier than I. My hair was still thick and straight like a horse’s mane. At least I had that, some piece of what I’d been before.