Viking's Love (55 page)

He lay on his back and squeezed his eyes shut
and tried to force the thoughts of Ulsted raping her from his mind.
With the evidence soon to show, he had no choice but to deal with
it and soon, or he risked causing her more pain. He felt bile rise
in his throat and sat up. Moonlight cast a shadow in the room and
he gazed down at the woman he loved. His expression softened. She
hadn’t asked for any of this. Of all, she suffered most of all. He
had no right to be angry. They would deal with whatever the future
held, together.

****

Meghera didn’t come down to the morning meal.
Allisande eyed Collin without animosity. He shifted in his chair,
and left the hall without speaking to anyone. Joran was in the
practice field with the Vikings. The clash of steel was a constant
reminder they had to be prepared for anything.

Allisande felt much better since telling
Joran the truth. She sensed he held back much of his own feelings
for her sake. She loved him more for that, but she knew he was
suffering. The loud groans of his men were proof of it. He was on
the practice field for hours, and finally ran out of men to
challenge when he spied his brother-in-law.

His lips compressed as he called out to
Collin, and issued a challenge to him. Collin grabbed up Grogan’s
fallen sword, and tested its weight and sauntered towards him.
Joran was panting and sweat ran in rivulets down his chest. He
circled his opponent and lunged. Collin spun away, but not before
Joran ripped the arm of his tunic without drawing blood. Collin was
aware of two things at that moment. One, there was little chance he
could best Joran at swords, and two, Allisande had obviously told
him the truth of the child.

He circled and side-stepped and drew back at
the last minute, before Joran caught him again with his sword
point, and soon they were engaged. The clashing and slicing of
their swords rang out as the Vikings watched, wondering when the
Englishman would land on his ass as they took wagers.

Collin was tiring as the man’s larger weight
and greater strength kept pushing him backward out of the circle,
but his own frustration gave him the strength to continue fighting
off his brother-in-law’s advance.

Collin saw the look in Joran’s eyes and
flinched, realizing he wasn’t seeing him at all, but Ulsted. He
charged and hammered a blow that made Collin wince as a burning
pain ran down his arm as he held him off. Collin was drenched in
his own sweat as he continued to fend off Joran’s blows, and nearly
nicked the Viking, but he spun out of the way, dropped down and
sent an upward slice that sent Collin’s sword flying through the
air to land imbedded in the dirt thirty feet away.

“
Go get it!” Joran barked and his men
eyed him worriedly. Collin went and retrieved the sword and they
began anew. The glancing blow that Joran delivered sent his sword
flying once more and he ordered him to go get it.

Grogan stepped forward and stood in front of
Collin, seeing the dark rage in his Chieftain’s eyes and knew he
wasn’t thinking right.

“
You have won, Joran, twice to be
precise.” Grogan eyed Collin warningly and the Englishman had the
intelligence to leave the practice field as Grogan retrieved his
sword and eyed him angrily. “He has yielded! You have something on
your mind, Joran?” He barked at the rest of the men to leave as he
stood bristling in the sunshine, his tawny hair flying in the
breeze. “Now, what is eating at you, for we both know you are
taking it out on us all?”

“
Allisande carries Ulsted’s child!”
Joran flung down his sword and walked to the copse of trees, and
sat upon the grass, breathing raggedly as he splashed water on his
face and chest from a nearby bucket.

Grogan considered his words, and knew there
was little he could say to make him feel better. “She was married
to the man, Joran!” Grogan snapped irately as he joined him. “You
knew when he took her to wife that he would bed her! We all know he
defiled her instead. The man is dead now. I wouldn’t like it either
if it was my woman, but killing your own men will not change
it!”

“
I do not want the child!” Joran hung
his head in anguish and closed his eyes. “I told her I would accept
it as mine, but in my heart, I cannot. Every time I look at that
child, I will remember what I saw when I kicked down that door at
Ulsted. What do I do about that?”

“
You never tell her what you just told
me,” Grogan warned and sat down heavily and sighed. “Allisande has
been through much this past year, much more than any woman should
have to.”

“
You think I do not know that?” Joran’s
blue eyes were troubled as they met his.

“
Joran, you love the woman, you will
find a way to deal with this matter of the child now,” Grogan
argued and smiled sadly and looked away. “Did you know Janna lay
with Rowan when I was away last year?”

Joran shook his head, his shock reflected in
his face as he learned the secrets of his friend’s marriage. What
he knew of Janna railed against what he heard now.

“
She found out I was bedding the
wenches during the raids,” Grogan said softly and shrugged. “It was
the heat of the battle and all of that, not that I didn’t love my
wife. I came home, and made the mistake of running my lips while in
my cups, and she overheard me. When I came home the next time, I
learned from Oram that Rowan had come, and stayed on to repair his
ship. It happened only once, and now I have my little Ewan to show
for it.”

“
I never knew! How is that possible in
my house?” Joran said with an amazed chuckle and frowned on a more
serious note. “How did you take the news?”

“
I didn’t bed the wenches on the raids
anymore, and when I look at my Ewan, I just see a little boy who
calls me his father. You will just see the child, Joran, not the
sin of the father that created it,” Grogan said and chuckled. “I
threatened to kill Rowan the last time I saw him. He claims no
memory of that night. He was so drunk, I cannot blame
him.”

“
Does Rowan know of the child?” Joran
said darkly, thinking just when he started to like the man he had
another reason to dislike him once more.

“
No, Janna wouldn’t tell him. She said
it didn’t matter. She said she turned to Rowan to hurt me,” Grogan
said and sighed. “I thought like you, that I would watch her grow
big with the child, and feel hate, but I did not. And do you know?
It was the best thing that could have happened to me, because I
love her more now than I did then.”

Joran absorbed his words and felt a mighty
weight lifted from his chest. Grogan got up and walked back to the
house and he stayed where he was. He lay back against the tree and
thought of all his friend told him, and fingered the wooden
crucifix that Lady Edwina had given him. Forgiveness wasn’t the
Viking way. He knew no other way to feel, but believed with enough
effort he could get passed his misgivings about the child that was
coming.

Collin entered the hall and cursed as the
pain in his arm was excruciating. Meghera was sitting with her pet
rat in front of the hearth. He gazed at the rat and shivered in
disgust. She wouldn’t look at him. He knew he couldn’t avoid
confronting her anymore about what he had done. He sat by the
hearth in the opposite chair and looked at her until she looked up.
He flinched from the hurt he saw there, as well as the anger.

“
I am sorry you had to see that,
Meghera,” Collin said solemnly and leaned upon his knees as he met
her gaze. “I don’t expect you to understand or forgive me of it. I
cannot help the fact that we are of an age difference. I cannot
wait for you to grow up. Did you know that Alfred offered you to
Ulsted first when your father petitioned him to find you a
husband?” He nodded at her look of fear and disgust. “Do you think
he would have cared that you were twelve when he married you,
Meghera? You and I both know the answer to it.”

“
You could have tried to wait for me,”
Meghera said stubbornly and he smiled sadly and for the first time
in his life, he felt like his father, cursed with a weakness for
his own pleasure.

“
Men don’t wait, Meghera.” Collin got
up and leaned against the mantle. “I cannot promise you that I can
do that for five years.”

“
Why does it have to be five years? I
knew girls in my village who were married at my age, and have
children now. We don’t have to wait that long, Collin!”

“
Yes, we do, for when I look at you, I
see only a child!” Collin snapped and she blanched from his words
but he had to say them. “I am not Ulsted! I will not bed an
innocent girl your age! I gave you these years to give you time to
adjust to being a wife, not so I can bed every wench I can find out
of your sight!”

“
So if I was old enough, you wouldn’t
be doing that thing in the bed with others at all?” Meghera asked
in a small voice, and he smiled and grinned widely, looking so
handsome she flushed and looked away.

“
Meghera, if you were old enough right
now, we would be doing that thing in the bed, as you call it, no
question of it.” His violet eyes traced the face that he knew would
grow into great beauty one day. “You must be patient.”

“
Will you promise me something,
Collin?”

“
Yes, of course, what is
it?”

“
Don’t fall in love with anyone but me,
before I grow up.” He met her eyes and understood her heart and his
clenched tightly. He smiled and put his hand over his
heart.

“
I promise I will never fall in love
with any other but you, Meghera,” Collin said and realized he meant
it suddenly. She smiled so brightly he felt the warmth of it and
was relieved. He excused himself to deal with his arm and left
her.

They prepared to leave the following week,
once Joran had enough of his father’s men secured to protect his
stronghold against Wulfstan. Armed with his fortune in gold, he
would no doubt be able to buy many sword arms to invade his
lands.

Joran knew Wulfstan well, and once Ivar
confronted him for his treachery and released him from his army, he
would be a man with no honor, no country, and nothing to lose.

Four long ships left Oslo up the crooked
fjord that led to Joran’s home. Allisande held Storm on the deck as
they were under way. The Vikings rowed laboriously and soon they
went with the current. She sighed as she returned to the enclosure
to put Storm in his basket, and a pain exploded in her
midsection.

She let out a cry and stumbled, falling and
holding her baby away from her as she hit the deck. Collin rescued
the infant before Storm fell from her arms. She writhed as the
pains tore through her. She gasped and sobbed as blood flowed out
of her, signaling an end to Ulsted’s child.

She prayed for it, but felt no victory as her
child was expelled from her womb. Joran rushed to her side and
picked her up and placed her down on the furs. She was biting her
lips in agony as the pains ripped through her. He held her as she
cried. He closed his eyes and uttered a silent prayer of thanks to
his new God for granting him his first wish as a Christian. He held
his wife until her pains stopped.

She slept finally and he returned to the
deck, assured they did not have long to go until they reached his
home. Elwynn would know what to do. He couldn’t meet Grogan’s
sorrowful look, for he didn’t feel anything but relief Allisande
would be spared Ulsted’s child. His lips twisted into a mirthless
smile as he realized Ulsted lost his hold on his wife forever.

His people waited on the docks. Joran was off
the ship before any other carrying his wife up the hill to the
house. Elwynn was fast on his heels as he carried her inside.
Greetings died on lips as he passed white-faced, bearing his
unconscious wife and bore her to his room. He laid her down and her
eyes fluttered open. Her concerns for her son were satisfied at
once, and her eyes met his.

“
I am glad of it, Joran,” Allisande
said and tears filled her eyes. “I asked God to take the child
every since I suspected the truth. I didn’t want it.” She finished
and tears flowed freely down her cheeks. “I know it is wrong to
feel this way, but it is for the best.”

Joran said nothing, for he had felt the same.
Elwynn entered with Janna on her heels and he left, unable to look
at Grogan’s wife. Discovering she had a tryst with Rowan disturbed
him. She stared at his back in bemusement, but soon Allisande’s
welfare was priority.

He retraced his steps down to the hall, and
his wolf bounded over to him. He grappled with the great silver
beast, and chuckled as Thor licked his face excitedly. He wagged
his tail and Joran patted his head and scratched him behind the
ears.

His ears perked up and he sat and looked to
the door expectantly as Meghera appeared. Joran watched the wolf
sit up on his hind legs and bid her welcome, a low howl heralding
her arrival.

She smiled and he ran to her, kissing her
face and wagging his tail delightedly. She giggled as his great
weight toppled her to the floor. He nudged her shoulder and she
stroked his silver fur. Thor had made a friend for life as he
stared at her adoringly, but Alfred was another matter
entirely.

The rat popped out of her sleeve and squealed
as he saw the wolf and ran back up, and she soothed him softly.

Thor showed his teeth and growled
threateningly, and the hair on his back stood up. Joran’s smile
faded and all those in the hall feared he would attack, and at last
prove himself too wild to live among them, but the girl spoke
softly to the wolf and chastised him, and he whined and lie down
rolling upon his back to give her his belly. She rubbed him there,
and looked up and saw the looks of shock of those that watched
her.