Vivienne's Guilt (10 page)

Banging on my car window snaps me back to reality. I look out to see Reid and Tillie with huge smiles on their faces, and my heart is feeling lighter than it has in days. I smile back, turning off the engine and unbuckling my seatbelt. I open the door to my silver Maxima and Tillie rushes into my arms.

“Mommy! We hadded so much fun and we catched seven fishes,” she says, holding out three fingers.

“Did you now?” I ask giving her a tight squeeze and looking over at Reid.

He ruffles Tillie’s hair. “Yes, ma’am,” he says. “Seven catfish. We were just about to clean them out back on the wharf if you want to help.”

“Sure,” I answer. “Just let me run inside and change out of these jeans.”

Reid nods. “So...was your appointment good? Everything go okay?”

“It was great. It went great,” I say, smiling back at him from the front porch steps. “I’ll be out in just a sec.”

I run up the stairs to my room and change into a yellow, knee-length sun dress, and a pair of metallic gold flip flops. After running my hands through my hair, I swallow one of the pills on my nightstand and head out to the lake.

I feel the wood of the wharf creak beneath my feet and smell the fishy lake odor that I’ve become so accustomed to. Ahead, I see Reid and Tillie laughing and teasing each other, and I know in my heart that having Reid here will be good for the both of us.

I’m getting over the initial shock that I felt when he first got here. With the help of the medication and talking to Cass and Dr. Benson, I’m able to see things more clearly.

“
E
www!” I hear Tillie yell. “Mommy, hurry! You have
got
to see this. Prince Reid just cutted the fishies head
off
!” she shouts, excited and a bit disgustedly.

Reid is holding the fish head out toward her, and she’s squealing like a happy little girl. It’s a beautiful sound.

“Hey, crazies,” I say, handing Reid a large metal bowl for the fish and a pair of skinning-pliers. “I hope you don’t mind if I just watch. Abbott always cleaned the fish. I’m a bit of a girl,” I say, crinkling my nose in disgust.

Reid shakes his head. “I don’t mind, Aunt Viv.” He takes the pliers and gets to work on the decapitated fish.

I watch the muscles in his forearm contract as he pulls the skin back. It’s such a disgusting task, yet here I am fascinated by the way his muscles flex with his movements.

I realize I’m staring and turn to watch Tillie playing with the container of worms. She definitely gets that from her daddy. I still can’t bring myself to touch the nasty little things.

“Hey, Reid?” I call out while staring absently out at the water.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind not calling me
Aunt
Viv?” I cringe. “It just makes me feel old. Vivienne is fine or just Viv...Please?”

“Yeah, sure,” Reid answers, “No problem, Viv,” he adds with a wink. Damn those Parker eyes. This boy is gorgeous, and he knows it. He is going to be lethal to the heart of every female he encounters. Poor girls won’t know what hit ’em.

Reid

I see Vivienne watching me from the corner of my eye and damned if it doesn’t make my pulse quicken. I’m not sure what it is about her that has my dick stand up and take notice, but notice he does...and it’s fucking distracting as hell.

Vivienne is everything I normally steer clear of in a girl. She’s damaged and fragile. She cries all of the time, and I do
not
do tears. But I want to take away the pain. I want to make her feel whole and beautiful and wanted. Somehow, I sense that she needs that from me.

Maybe it’s the fact that her tears are not superficial. They aren’t a means to get something from me like every other female in my life. Vivienne is truly hurting, and I have this uncontrollable urge to make her smile, and not that half-assed, fake smile that she gives for everyone else’s benefit. I want to make her light up.
In more ways than one.

I know it’s wrong to want her, but I can’t fucking help it. I would never betray Uncle Abbott that way, but showing her a little attention and lending her a shoulder to cry on is harmless, right?

I try to concentrate on skinning the last couple of fish, but my eyes keep wandering over to Vivienne in that short yellow dress. She’s standing a few feet away, watching Tillie pull worms out of the bucket, and that should totally be a turn-off...seeing her with her daughter. But everything about her calls out to me, even the way she dotes on her kid.

Hell, Vivienne Parker just fucking turns me on. Period.

I drop the last of the fish into the bowl with a splat. “Hey, ladies...all done here,” I call out, rinsing my hands in the lake water and then drying them off on my shorts.

“Oh, awesome!” Viv shakes herself out of her daze and rewards me with a huge smile. “Why don’t we go inside and I’ll make you two some sandwiches for lunch?” she offers, reaching out for the bowl. Her hand barely brushes against mine and the sensation is enough to set my soul on fire. “I’ll put these in the fridge and fry them up for dinner.”

She’s radiant this morning. It’s the only word I can find to describe her. This is a whole other level of attraction, and if I don’t watch myself, I could be in deep shit. I thought she was beautiful before—beautifully broken—but a smiling Vivienne, a happy Vivienne, is a sight to behold.

I catch myself staring at the freckles that dot her cheeks and give her a tense smile. “Sure, Viv. That sounds great. I’m just going to go grab a shower, and I’ll meet you and Tillie up at the house,” I say, already walking backwards away from Vivienne.

I place one hand on the shower wall and the other around my painfully hard cock. One touch from this woman and I need release. I stroke up and down, picturing that perfect ass. Those impossibly long legs. I allow myself to pretend that she’s here in front of me. I hike up that yellow dress, pull her panties to the side, and ram into her over and over. I squeeze my shaft as I pump harder and faster, imagining that it’s her tight pussy welcoming my every thrust. I feel the tightening in my groin as I cum...hard...with my
aunt’s
face on my mind.

Sick bastard.

Vivienne

The screen door slams shut just as I’m returning to the kitchen from putting Matilda in her room for a nap. “Hey, Reid,” I call out, “in here.”

I watch as Reid saunters into the room wearing gray cargo shorts and a light blue tee; the color against his eyes is striking. He has a presence about him that is welcoming and comforting. Maybe it’s just his likeness to Abbott, but now that I am over the shock and on my medication...it just feels
good
to be around him.

“Hey, Aunt—ugh, hey, Vivienne,” he chuckles. “That’s gonna take a little getting used to. Sorry,” he says with a guilty shrug.

“Don’t worry about it.” I wave him off, grabbing our plates from the counter. “Let’s have lunch out on the porch. It’s such a gorgeous day. Would you mind getting us each a Coke from the fridge?” I ask as I push the door open with my hip.

Reid grabs our drinks and follows me out to the table on the screened in porch. It’s a warm day, but there’s a nice breeze coming off the water, and the ceiling fans offer some added circulation.

We enjoy a comfortable silence as we eat our lunch, the only sounds coming from the whirring of the fans and the birds in the trees. I love that Reid can appreciate the beauty of our surroundings. I watch his profile and fixate on the movement of his jaw as he stares out at the water. There’s something magical about being able to offer someone peace with your presence alone. I’ve only ever gotten that from Abbott and Cassie. It’s nice to have another kindred spirit.

“So, when do you start football practice?” I ask once I’ve finished my lunch. “I need to make sure I work around your schedule with the camp.”

“Officially, practices won’t start until the end of July,” Reid says as he checks the calendar on his phone. “July 26
th
is when we have our first. We pretty much practice every day after that. Sometimes in the morning and others in the afternoon,” he says, placing his phone back down on the table.

“That’s the last week of camp. I can hire one of the neighbor kids to take the day shifts that week if you can still handle the Friday evenings.”

Our neighbor, Mrs. Sue, has a few high school aged boys that are always on the water. We’ve paid them to cut our lawn in the past. I’ll have to contact her anyway to set that up regularly now...since Abbott is no longer here to do it.

Abbott’s gone...

And that’s all it takes to kill the pleasant mood I’ve found myself in since returning home this morning. My hands begin to shake, and my heart suddenly feels too big for my chest.

Reid notices the change right away, and I hate that just like that I’ve ruined our good time. I hate being so weak...so dependent. “Are you okay, Viv?” Reid asks as he gets up from his seat and walks over to kneel in front of me. “Did I say something to upset you?” he asks, placing his hand on my knee to stop it from shaking. I can see the wheels turning. Reid is frantically searching his head for a reason for my sudden change in mood.

I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut tight, willing the dam not to break. Slow deep breaths do little to calm my racing heart, and when Reid wraps me in his arms, the floodgates open. He holds me tight against his body, and it feels so good to be held...to be wrapped in a man’s strong arms
...arms that do not belong to Abbott.

My good friend guilt makes her appearance, and I am burning inside. My knees buckle, and I cry out for my husband. “Abbott...oh God...I need him. I
need
him, Reid. I can’t do this,” I cry, clenching the fabric of Reid’s shirt, pulling him closer...further incinerating my own heart while my conscience is screaming that I should be pushing him away.
This is wrong.

“Shh,” he whispers, running a hand through my hair. “It’s okay, Vivienne. It’s okay...cry. Let it out.”

And I do. I soak his shirt and cling to the strength that he’s offering. I’m not sure how long we stand there like that...Reid supporting my boneless form as I spill my pain all over him...my heart and body at war with each other. Eventually, he carries me up to my room and sets me down on the bed.