V.J. Chambers - Jason&Azazel Apocalypse 01 (23 page)

I volunteered Kieran and myself to go after the boat instead. I thought that made more sense.

Marlena wasn’t into that. I demanded to know why, and Hallam was a little curious too. Marlena got kind of quiet, and asked me if I’d had a chance to take the test we’d talked about.

Hallam wanted to know what test.

I got mad. I told her that yes, I’d taken the pregnancy test, and yes, it was positive, but that was no reason to keep Kieran and I from going after the boat.

Hallam freaked out. He was unintelligible for several seconds, just stringing together swears. His face got really, really red. Finally, all he could yell at me was, “How could you be so stupid, Azazel? How could you be so stupid?”

I tried to tell him that I’d been as careful as was possible these days. It wasn’t like I could pop into a pharmacy and get my birth control prescription refilled. It had been an accident, the way these things usually were, and I wasn’t any happier about it than he was.

It didn’t matter, though. Hallam wasn’t about to let “a pregnant lady” put herself in that much danger. I needed to sit tight until he and Marlena got back and then hightail my butt back to D.C., where they would hopefully assign me someplace less dangerous.

There wasn’t anything else I could say. I begged them to be careful. I begged them to watch out for Jason or Jason’s people. I made them promise to be back by a certain day or we’d go looking for them. They agreed.

Later that morning, they left.

Kieran wasn’t speaking to me. He was really pissed off about not getting revenge for his family and my not wanting to have a baby. I kind of thought he was being stupid about it, but telling him that didn’t seem to make him any less angry with me.

I was in charge, so I considered ordering him to get over it. I decided that wouldn’t work either.

Instead, I just kind of moped around. I didn’t offer to help with food preparation, which I probably should have done. I sat on the steps in front of the church, staring at the empty road, the trees and their new leaves, and the abandoned buildings of Columbus. I sat there for hours. I tried not to think. I’d been over and over everything in my head so many times, there wasn’t much point in going through it again.

There was a baby. Damn it.

Sometimes it seemed like there was no end of people who needed my protection. With my powers, I felt that responsibility keenly. Personally, there was Chance, Hallam, Marlena, and now Kieran. I used to feel like I had to take care of Jason. I didn’t have to protect him from danger, because he was pretty good at doing that himself, but he was always getting himself into trouble, and I had to comfort him and be there for him. Overall, it just felt exhausting. I had to make sure people were safe all the time. And here I was, with some other little being growing inside me, some other being that I’d have to keep safe.

So, who was it that took care of me, huh?

Certainly wasn’t going to be a baby, that was for sure. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that babies were tons of work, and that they didn’t love you back. You loved them and they took, took, took. And since you loved them, you didn’t mind that they took everything away from you. Hell, you liked it.

I was going to be a terrible mother.

Maybe I could just have the baby and pawn it off on Kieran. He wanted the baby so bad, he could have it.

But I knew that wasn’t going to work, either. If I was going to have this baby, I’d want it when all was said and done. You didn’t carry a little being around inside you for nine months, and not want to hold it when you were done. Your body released all these weird bonding hormones and stuff, and it was only natural to want to take care of it. And beyond all that biology, I knew that I kind of wanted the baby anyway. I wouldn’t have chosen to become pregnant, but if I was, I’d do the best I could. It would turn out okay.

Maybe if I went and said something like that to Kieran, he’d snap out of whatever funk he was in. I stood up, ready to try to reconcile, when I heard the sound of a car motor.

What? There were never any cars. Most people hadn’t been able to figure out how to get gasoline out of the ground without electric pumps. And a lot of the gasoline had been taken and stockpiled by the government. So why was I hearing a car?

The sound got louder, and then an old gray Volkswagen bus chugged around a bend in the road and pulled up to the church. Who was this?

The side door slid open and inside, I saw a man sitting in a wheelchair.

Chance?

I rushed forward. Chance was holding a remote which controlled an electric ramp. It was lowering him and his wheelchair to the ground.

“Chance,” I said.

He grinned at me. “Pretty sweet, right? Someone converted this thing into a wheelchair accessible vehicle.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

Chance wheeled himself off the ramp and hit a button on the remote. Everything folded back up on itself, going back into the interior of the bus. He wheeled himself around to the back of the bus. “The best part,” he said, “is that I can work on the engine myself.” He pulled open a hatch on the back of the bus. “See. The engine’s right here in the back. I can sit in my chair and fiddle with it when stuff breaks.” He beamed at me.

“What are you doing here?” I repeated. “You’re supposed to be in D.C. You’re supposed to be safe.”

“I’m glad to see you too, sis,” he said.

“Chance!” Had my brother always been this annoying?

“D.C. was boring,” he said. “I’m missing all the action there.”

“You should be missing the action,” I said. “I want you out of the action. You’re…handicapped for God’s sake.”‘

“We prefer wheely people these days, actually,” he said, wheeling past me to look at the church.

“I heard Hallam and Marlena were here too. I came to see you guys. I think I can help.” He looked at me. “You know, with Jason.”

I clenched my teeth. “You never have to see him again. I made sure of that.”

“Are Hallam and Marlena here?” Chance asked.

“You missed them. They’re away, looking for a boat.”

Chance shrugged. “Cool. I’ll see them when they get back.”

“No, you won’t. You’ll get back in your little magic bus and drive back to D.C.”

“Geez, Zaza, come on.”

“Zaza?” said Kieran. He was standing at the door to the church, hands in pockets. “Now why didn’t I think to use that nickname for you?”

I glared at Kieran. “No one calls me that except Chance,” I said. It always made me think of my family, and most of my memories of my family were pretty unpleasant.

“Hi!” said Chance, waving. “I’m Azazel’s brother, Chance. I’m here to help with Jason.”

Kieran raised his eyebrows.

Good. Kieran was on my side, at least.

“No, wait,” said Chance. “I know I’m in a wheelchair. I’m not going to fight him. I’m going to talk to him.”

“Chance, we’ve all talked to him. He’s completely gone off the deep end,” I said.

“But, Zaza, he’s like this because of me. I know you don’t forgive him, but I do. I don’t mind, really. I mean, I was pissed for a while, but now, I just think—”

“You’re not talking to him,” I said.

Chance started around me and began to wheel himself up the ramp outside the church.

“Chance you can’t stay here,” I said.

“I drove all this way, and you’re not going to offer me dinner?” he said. “I think mom taught you better manners than that.”

I groaned. This was a disaster.

Once Chance reached Kieran at the church door, they shook hands. I tromped up after Chance.

Kieran put his arm around me. “Zaza,” he said, “you didn’t tell me you had a brother.”

“Please don’t call me that, Kieran.” I rolled my eyes.

We all entered the sanctuary. Chance looked around. “This is cool,” he said. “I can sleep here on the pews. It will be much easier than trying to get out of the chair and onto the ground.” He turned back to Kieran and I. “You two look chummy,” said Chance.

“Yeah, well, I’m having his baby,” I said.

“Really?” said Chance.

“She’s always full of surprises, isn’t she?” Kieran said.

They laughed, like they were old friends. Wonderful. Perfect.

“I wish you’d told me you had a new boyfriend,” said Chance. “I really think I should know about these things, being your brother. I mean, it’s great, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you moved on, but—”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said. “We’re just having a baby. Okay?”

Chance put up his hands. “Okay,” he said.

I crossed my arms over my chest.

“So, about me talking to Jason,” said Chance.

“Jesus Christ, no!” I said. “What if he decides to finish the job?”

“Finish the job?” said Kieran.

“Why do you think Chance is in a wheelchair?” I said.

“I think it was an accident, really,” said Chance.

“Yeah,” I said. “He accidentally shot you and severed your spinal cord. Sure.”

“Jason shot your brother?” Kieran asked.

“Why do you think we broke up?” I snarled.

Before…

April 2011

Jason’s birthday was right around the corner. The previous year, we hadn’t made too big of a
deal about it, but this year, Chance and I wanted to throw Jason a huge party. We were pretty
sure he’d never had a really big birthday party, and he was turning twenty. I wanted it to be
awesome. Chance’s friend Mitch was in school for event planning, and we’d been able to rope
him into our scheme by bribing him with some of Grandma Hoyt’s money. Chance and I were
pretty rich. Our grandmother had left everything to the two of us, and she’d been absolutely
loaded.

I guess I’d been avoiding Jason. We had a rocky two years. At first, things had been idyllic. We’d
been completely happy together. It was the first time we’d been able to live together and share a
room and openly be a couple (okay, have sex). We started college together in the fall of 2009.

We commuted from our house and took classes. I loved it.

Then the thing with Jenna happened in June of 2010. I took it pretty hard. Well, everyone did,
but I took it the worst, because I thought it was my fault. For a few months, I’d started drinking
really heavily again, which had been a problem for me for a while as a teenager. I started
hanging out with some friends from school and getting smashed a lot. Jason got pissed, and I got
resentful. We worked it out for the most part, and I cooled it on the drinking. Jason made me
make up a bunch of rules for myself, like not to go above four drinks in a night unless I took an
hour-long break and had a full stomach. It was all ridiculous, but sticking to it did help.

It didn’t keep Jason from getting jealous, though.

Hell, maybe it was me. I was jealous too.

I don’t know why we didn’t trust each other, but we were always checking up on the other
person. I didn’t like it if Jason studied with a group of girls. He didn’t like it if I went to parties
without him.

My therapist said that I was just insecure, and that Jason was too. Jason’s therapist didn’t say
anything because Jason had stopped going to therapy after about a year. He said that he’d had
enough, and that he was fine. Which was rich, I thought, because Jason had been raised in a
really screwed up atmosphere, and I thought he needed years and years of therapy.

We argued about that too.

We also argued about Jason’s beating people up. Jason always had a temper, and now that we
weren’t on the run, it didn’t go away. There weren’t many of them. Maybe three. But they always
ended the same way. With Jason injuring the other guy so badly that the guy needed an
ambulance. I kept telling him he was lucky that these guys weren’t pressing charges. I kept
telling him he was lucky he didn’t kill someone.

Anyway, even though everything was royally screwed half the time, I still thought this birthday
party for Jason would help things. If nothing else, he’d know how much I cared about him. And I
was so focused on that, I guess I didn’t pay much attention to him for a few weeks.

What Jason saw was me spending a lot of time with Mitch, sometimes with Chance, and
sometimes without Chance. Mitch and I would meet at restaurants and coffee shops and plan the
party. We’d hang out in the kitchen at our house and call places to set up catering and
decorations and guests. And whenever Jason showed up in the kitchen, we acted like we were
hiding something. Because we were. A surprise party. And whenever Jason asked if he could
come along, I said no. Maybe I was an idiot not to realize that this would drive Jason nuts.

No. I guess I knew it would drive him nuts, but that was part of the game. When he found out
about the party, everything would be okay. I could picture myself in his position and knew he
must feel frustrated. Any normal person would. But I forgot that Jason wasn’t a normal person.

So, yeah, I expected him to be frustrated. I didn’t expect him to get a gun.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget that night. Mitch, Chance, and I were at a restaurant in
town. Mitch and Chance had driven together. I’d come separately. So we split up to get to our
cars. I don’t know exactly what happened then. I was getting in my car when I got the phone call
from Chance. He was screaming, saying they were getting mugged, and they needed my help.

“Call 911,” he yelled at me. “Call 911!”

I started to hang up and do what he said, but he stopped me. “No,” he said. “No, it’s Jason.”

I didn’t call 911. I raced to the parking garage where Chance and Mitch had been headed. When
I got there, the parking garage was nearly empty, except for a few cars which skulked in the
yellow light of the garage. The concrete was covered in oil stains and graffiti. I hurried over it,
my footfalls echoing throughout the garage, which was otherwise silent.