Volpone and Other Plays (38 page)

ANANIAS
:                                            Lawful!

150      We
know
no magistrate; or, if we did,

This's foreign coin.

SUBTLE
:                              It is no coining, sir.

It is but casting.

TRIBULATION
: Ha! you distinguish well.

Casting of money may be lawful.

ANANIAS
:                                                'Tis, sir.

TRIBULATION
: Truly, I take it so.

SUBTLE
:                                                   There is no scruple,

Sir, to be made of it, believe Ananias.

This case of conscience he is studied in.

TRIBULATION
: I'll make a question of it to the Brethren.

ANANIAS
: The Brethren shall approve it lawful, doubt not.

Where shall't be done?

SUBTLE
:                              For that we'll talk anon.

          
Knock without
.

160        There's some to speak with me. Go in, I pray you,

And view the parcels. That's the inventory.

I'll come to you straight.

[
Exeunt
TRIBULATION WHOLESOME
and
ANANIAS
.]

                                           Who is it? – Face! appear.

III, iii [
Enter
FACE
m his Captain's uniform
.]

              [
SUBTLE
:] How now! Good prize?

FACE
:                                                                        Good pox! Yon costive cheater

Never came on.

SUBTLE
:                      How then?

FACE
:                                                   I ha' walked the round

Till now, and no such thing.

SUBTLE
:                                            And ha' you quit him?

FACE
: Quit him! An' Hell would quit him too, he were happy.

'Slight! would you have me stalk like a mill-jade,

All day, for one that will not yield us grains?

I know him of old.

SUBTLE
:                            O, but to ha' gulled him,

Had been a mastery.

FACE
:                                     Let him go, black boy,

And turn thee, that some fresh news may possess thee.

10       A noble count, a Don of Spain (my dear

Delicious compeer, and my
party-bawd
),

Who is come hither private for his conscience

And brought munition with him, six great
slops
,

Bigger than three Dutch
hoys
, beside round trunks,

Furnished with
pistolets
, and pieces of eight,

Will straight be here, my rogue, to have thy bath,

(That is the colour) and to make his batt' ry

Upon our Dol, our castle, our Cinque Port,

Our Dover Pier, our what thou wilt. Where is she?

20        She must prepare perfumes, delicate linen,

The bath in chief, a banquet, and her wit,

For she must milk his epididymis.

Where is the
doxy
?

SUBTLE:                     I'll send her to thee;

And but despatch my brace of little John Leydens

And come again myself.

FACE:                           Are they within then?

SUBTLE: Numb' ring the sum.

FACE
:                                          How much?

SUBTLE.                                                     A hundred marks, boy.

     [
Exit
.]

FACE: Why, this's a lucky Day. Ten Pounds Of Mammoni

Three o' my clerk! a portague o' my grocer!

This o' the Brethren! beside reversions

30         And states to come, i' the widow, and my Count!

My share today will not be bought for forty –

        [
Enter
DOL.]

DOL COMMON:                                                  What?

FACE
: Pounds, dainty Dorothy! art thou so near?

DOL COMMON: Yes. say, lord general, how fares our camp?

FACE: As with the few that had entrenched themselves

Safe, by their discipline, against a world, Dol,

And laughed within those trenches, and grew fat

With thinking on the booties, Dol, brought in

Daily by their small parties. This dear hour,

A doughty Don is taken with my Dol;

40        And thou mayst make his ransom what thou wilt,

My Dowsabel; he shall be brought here, fettered

With thy fair looks, before he sees thee; and thrown

In a down-bed, as dark as any dungeon;

Where thou shalt keep him waking with thy drum –

Thy drum, my Dol, thy drum – till he be tame

As the poor blackbirds were i' the
great frost
,

Or bees are with a basin; and so hive him

I' the swan-skin coverlid and cambric sheets,

Till he work honey and wax, my little
God's-gift
.

50      DOL COMMON: What is he, General?

FACE:                                                     An
adalantado
,

      A grandee, girl. Was not my Dapper here yet?

DOL COMMON:  No.

FACE
:                               Nor my Drugger?

DOL COMMON:                                                 Neither.

FACE
:                                                                                    A Pox on 'em,

They are so long a-furnishing! such stinkards

Would not be seen upon these festival days.

       [
Re-enter
SUBTLE.]

How now! ha' you done?

SUBTLE
:                                 Done. They are gone; the sum

Is here in bank, my Face. I would we knew

Another chapman now would buy 'em outright.

FACE
: 'Slid, Nab shall do't against he ha' the widow,

To furnish household.

SUBTLE
:                         Excellent, well thought on.

60        Pray God he come.

FACE
:                         I pray he keep away

Till our new business be o' erpast.

SUBTLE
:                                                But, Face,

How cam'st thou by this secret Don?

FACE
:                                                                A spirit

Brought me the' intelligence in a paper here,

As I was conjuring yonder in my circle

For Surly. I ha' my flies abroad. Your bath

Is famous, Subtle, by my means. Sweet Dol,

You must go tune your virginal, no losing

O' the least time. And (do you hear?) good action!

Firk like a flounder; kiss like a scallop, close;

70      
And tickle him with thy mother-tongue. His great

Verdugoship
has not a jot of language –

So much the easier to be cozened, my Dolly.

He will come here in a hired coach, obscure,

And our own coachman, whom I have sent as guide,

No creature else. –

    
One knocks
.

                                   Who's that?

SUBTLE
:                                          It is not he?

FACE
: O no, not yet this hour.

SUBTLE
:                                          Who is't?

DOL COMMON [
looking out
]:                      Dapper,

Your clerk.

FACE
:                          God's will then, Queen of Faery,

On with your tire.

   [
Exit DOL
.]

                                And, Doctor, with your robes.

Let's despatch him for God's sake.

SUBTLE
:                                            '
Twill be long
.

80    
FACE
: I warrant you, take but the cues I give you,

It shall be brief enough. 'Slight, here are more!

Abel, and, I think, the angry boy, the heir,

That fain would quarrel.

SUBTLE
:                                     And the widow?

FACE
:                                                                        No,

Not that I see. Away!

    [
Exit
SUBTLE
.]

    [FACE
admits
DAPPER.]

III, iv  [FACE:]                                    O, sir, you are welcome.

The Doctor is within a-moving for you.

I have had the most ado to win him to it!

He swears you'll be the darling o' the dice;

He never heard her Highness dote till now, he says.

Your aunt has giv' n you the most gracious words

That can be thought on.

DAPPER
:                             Shall I see her Grace?

FACE
: See her, and kiss her too.

[
Enter
DRUGGER
, followed by
KASTRIL
.]

                                                     What, honest Nab!

Hast brought the damask?

DRUGGER
:                              No, sir, here's tobacco.

FACE
: 'Tis well done, Nab. Thou' lt bring the damask too?

10    
DRUGGER
: Yes. Here's the gentleman, Captain, Master Kastril,

I have brought to see the Doctor.

FACE
:                                                        Where's the widow?

DRUGGER
: Sir, as he likes, his sister, he says, shall come.

FACE: O, is it so? Good time. is your name kastril, sir?

KASTRIL
: Ay, and the best o' the Kastrils, I' d be sorry else

By fifteen hundred a year. Where is this Doctor?

My mad tobacco-boy here tells me of one

That can do things. Has he any skill?

FACE:                                                          Wherein, sir?

KASTRIL
: To carry a business, manage a quarrel fairly,

Upon fit terms.

FACE
:                 It seems, sir, y' are but young

20       About the town, that can make that a question.

KASTRIL: Sir, not so young but I have heard some speech

Of the
angry boys
, and seen 'em take tobacco,

And in his shop; and I can take it too.

And I would fain be one of 'em, and go down

And practise i' the country.

FACE
:                                            Sir, for the duello,

The Doctor, I assure you, shall inform you,

To the least shadow of a hair; and show you

An instrument he has, of his own making,

Wherewith no sooner shall you make report

30        Of any quarrel, but he will take the height on't

Most instantly, and tell in what degree

Of safety it lies in, or mortality;

And how it may be borne, whether in a right line,

Or a half-circle; or may else be cast

Into an angle blunt, if not acute;

All this he will demonstrate. And then, rules

To give and take the lie by.

KASTRIL
:                             How! to take it?

FACE
: Yes,
in oblique
he'll show you, or in circle;

But never
in diameter
. The whole town

40         Study his theorems, and dispute them ordinarily

At the eating academies.

KASTRIL
:                         But does he teach

Living by the wits, too?