He stopped in front of Ty, his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans. He was close enough to touch. Ty itched to touch him, especially when Landon looked down at him, his expression pleading.
He tried to think, but he couldn’t with Landon looking at him, so he closed his eyes. It didn’t help. He needed to get out of here, put some time and distance between them. He opened his eyes and stumbled into the bedroom, determined to pack and leave before things went from bad to worse. Landon followed him.
“I’ll spend the night at a hotel.” Ty grabbed his bag and carried it to the bathroom, where he gathered his toiletries off the counter and tossed them in the bag, moving fast.
“Wait. You don’t have to do that. You can stay here. It’s stupid to spend money on a hotel. You can sleep in the recliner, like you always do.”
He shook his head and kept packing. “No, I can’t.” He picked up his shoes off the floor and stuffed them in the bag then crossed the room to the closet, all too aware of Landon’s pain. He hated doing this to him.
“Does this mean we can’t even be friends?” Landon asked, hurt punctuating every word.
Ty stopped at the closet door and bowed his head. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Landon. Hearing his pain was enough. He couldn’t bear to see it. One glimpse, and he might back down, give in. “I don’t know. I need to think. Maybe in time we can get back to where we were, but right now... I just don’t know.” But he did know. He simply couldn’t say the words. Couldn’t hurt Landon anymore. Not today. Maybe in a few days, a few weeks.
Landon stalked toward him, the threatening movement forcing Ty to finally look at his friend. His eyes were an icy blue. His lips, which had been soft and tender when they’d kissed this morning, were pressed into a thin, tight line. He stopped in front of Ty. Their chests almost touched as Landon loomed over him.
Landon wrapped one big hand around the back of Ty’s neck and said, “
Fuck this.
I am
not
losing you because of last night.”
“I can’t—”
Landon’s lips smashed against his. He felt so perfect, so right that Ty couldn’t help but respond. The roughness of Landon’s beard against his jaw made him crave more before he remembered why he couldn’t have it. His cock wasn’t listening though, and it tented his loose chinos.
He strained back against Landon’s hand, his breathing ragged. “This isn’t helping.”
Landon’s grip tightened. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.”
He couldn’t. He tried. The words formed loud and clear in his head, echoing.
Don’t.
Want.
This
. The strength of the declaration weakened with each repetition, and he struggled to speak before his lack of willpower silenced them completely, but his throat closed, blocking their escape.
Landon closed his eyes, and his thick, dark blond eyelashes fluttered against his skin as he once again lowered his lips to Ty’s. But this kiss was gentle, coaxing. He nipped and licked, his tenderness scattering the last of Ty’s objections. One more time wouldn’t hurt. Then they’d never see each other again. His breath caught and his chest ached at the thought. No more Landon. The anguish almost escaped him in a cry he bit back so that it was muffled in his throat. They were together now. He wouldn’t let tomorrow’s regrets ruin it. Ty buried his hands under Landon’s shirt and flattened his palms against solid abs. Sliding his hands up to Landon’s chest, he raked his fingers through the light crisp hairs and rubbed his thumbs over his nipples.
“Yeah,” Landon groaned, his chest vibrating against Ty’s hands. “Just. Like. That.”
Ty lifted Landon’s shirt, his palms grazing his ribs. He continued up over his shoulders, cupping the bulges and dips of the muscles in Landon’s arms as he raised them above his head. The shirt slipped over his hands and floated to the floor. Ty bent his knees and lowered his head, breathing deeply. The scent of smoke from the barbecue made his mouth water. He circled one pale, reddish-brown nipple with his tongue but it didn’t taste like steak. It was Landon’s already familiar flavor. A little sweet, a little salty. More tempting than steak.
Landon took over and backed Ty against the closet door. He slid the silk tie from its knot and pulled it off. His fingers went to the buttons on Ty’s shirt, unfastening them. The man was damned good with his hands. He pushed the fabric back off Ty’s shoulders, and Ty did the rest, shrugging out of the sleeves and letting the shirt join Landon’s on the carpet.
Landon’s broad, muscular chest pressed against his. Their lips met, opening instinctively. They continued to taste and tease as they finished undressing each other, baring skin, revealing the hollows and swells hidden beneath clothes. When they were nude except for Landon’s socks, Landon’s hands bracketed Ty’s head against the wall and he leaned into him. Thigh to thigh. Cocks sliding, bumping, building the tension in his groin. Landon’s head dipped, his lips touching just below Ty’s earlobe and drifting across his jaw to his chin and down his throat, firm against the stubble of his beard.
“One last time,” Landon murmured. “One last time. Slow and easy.” His voice was hypnotic, and Ty couldn’t have stopped him now if his life depended on it. “But first just stand there. Don’t move. Don’t touch me.”
Landon stepped back and caressed him with his gaze. Ty couldn’t remember anyone ever studying his body like this, especially when he was naked. The heaviness in his groin grew at the surprisingly sensual experience.
When he’d looked his fill, Landon replaced his gaze with his hands. Ty closed his eyes and just felt. Felt the heat in Landon’s fingers and palms. The contrast of his large, callused hands and their gentleness. Landon’s whisper-light breath as his lips followed his hands. The sexual buzz coiled tighter and tighter in anticipation as the moist heat of Landon’s mouth came closer to his cock yet avoided touching it. He was doing it on purpose. Slowly driving Ty crazy. He knew this as surely as he knew that this would be their last time together.
When Landon finally nuzzled his cock, Ty’s eyes flew open and he stopped breathing. Landon grabbed his hips and pinned him to the wall before glancing up and smiling. Ty closed his eyes to the love he saw there, knowing Landon might see the same raw emotion reflected back at him.
He heard Landon get to his feet, sensed him standing over him. Patiently, Ty waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Finally he cracked his eyelids. Landon’s smile had disappeared.
Abruptly he spun around and strode to the nightstand. The lube and condoms were on top next to the brass lamp. Landon grabbed them.
Landon squirted lube in his hand, dropped the tube and rubbed his palms together. Ty held his breath, anticipating his touch yet afraid he’d lose it and embarrass himself again. Landon wrapped both lubed, warmed hands around Ty’s cock.
The breath he’d been holding rushed out. “Damn. That feels—Landon, that’s...” His words transformed into a moan.
Slowly Landon began to slide his hands to the head. As soon as one hand slid off, he moved it to the base and started over again. The stimulation was constant. Torture and bliss. Ty was on the verge of letting go, giving in to the pleasure when it stopped.
“On your knees,” Landon said in a low voice.
Ty didn’t argue. He kneeled, then circled the tip of Landon’s cock with his tongue. Landon threaded the fingers of both hands in Ty’s hair, drawing him closer.
“Open.”
Ty slid his lips over Landon’s cock, and Landon thrust his hips forward. The tip plugged the back of Ty’s throat, and he gagged.
Landon eased out and said, “Swallow when it hits the back.”
On the next stroke Ty swallowed. Much better.
How the hell did he know this stuff?
He didn’t wonder for long. Instead he concentrated on the taste and texture of Landon’s penis. Sleek, hard. Pulsing. Musky with sex and salty with sweat. His hunger for more tempted him to bite, but instead he raked his teeth lightly along the length. Landon’s stomach hollowed. Ty grinned around the thickness, then sucked again. He slid one hand between Landon’s legs, combed his fingers through his wiry hair and cupped his balls. Landon thrust faster and harder. His balls drew up, and Ty moved his hand back until he found the tight O of his anus with his fingers. He circled the sensitive ring of nerves, then pressed his middle finger to the center of the hole without penetrating, just massaging. He wondered what it would be like, his dick buried deep in that hole. Tight, hot. He could have sworn his cock grew longer at the thought, and a little bit of come moistened the tip. He’d never been so fucking turned on.
“That’s it,” Landon croaked. “Feels. So. Good.” With one last thrust he spurted against the back of Ty’s throat and clutched Ty’s hair. Landon’s gasps filled Ty’s ears. Ty swallowed everything he gave, relishing the creamy, briny essence of his first and last male lover. Finally spent, Landon’s grip relaxed, and he smoothed Ty’s hair as if petting him.
He kneeled in front of Ty and took his head in his hands before devouring his lips. Ty had never been kissed like this, like Landon was dying of thirst and Ty was the clear, cool lake of an oasis. He lost himself in it, forgetting everything. When Landon had finally drunk his fill, he ripped open the condom package and placed the rubber against the tip of Ty’s penis. With excruciating care, he slowly rolled it on. Ty took long, slow, measured breaths, subduing the urge to thrust, the need to free the liquid heat begging to escape at the simple touch of Landon’s fingers. Landon warmed the lube between his hands and then unhurriedly, sensuously coated Ty’s cock, the slickness of his hands contrasting with the roughness of his callouses even through the condom’s barrier. Landon pushed him onto his back then crawled on top of him and straddled his waist. Reaching behind him, he guided Ty’s cock to his anus. Ty held his breath as Landon teased him, circled, pressed the tip against the opening, then pulled back.
Landon had to know how close he was, and yet he continued to play with him. Or maybe not?
“You’ve never done this before,” Ty murmured. “I need to get you ready.”
Landon shook his head. “Huh-uh. I’m good. When I imagined this—with you—I—” His chuckle was as strained as his voice. “I did some stretching exercises.”
Knowing that Landon had jacked off to thoughts of Ty fucking him? So unbelievably hot that Ty longed to sink into him without any more preliminaries. But Landon continued to tease him. Rising then falling in increments of centimeters until Ty began to follow him with his hips, silently pleading with him to let him in. He wanted to bury himself in Landon so badly that he was ready to spill at the thought. He couldn’t wait to feel Landon’s tight ass wrapped around his cock. He’d dreamed about it often enough, awakening in a hot sweat more times than he could count with a hard-on he’d always taken care of himself.
And then Landon did it. Took him inside. All of him. Effortlessly, fully.
It was incredible. Tight, hot, slick.
“I want to know what you look like when you’re inside me.” Landon slowly lifted. “I want to see your face when I make you come.”
It wasn’t going to be a very long wait. The buzz at the base of his shaft was ready to explode. He grasped Landon’s quads and dug his fingers in, hoping to slow his orgasm. As Landon slid back down, Ty thrust to meet him, savoring the friction, the heat, the intimacy of their connected bodies. He focused on the spot where they were joined, focused on the building tension, the impending orgasm. His muscles tightened, his heart raced, his breathing stopped. The carnal ecstasy expanded past his ability to contain it, blasting out and bathing the head of his cock. His head spun, and he gasped for breath, as desperate for air as a downing man.
Landon leaned forward until their chests touched and Ty’s satiated dick slipped out. He kissed Ty’s jaw, his neck, his cheekbones, his throat, his shoulders. He kissed as if he couldn’t get enough of him, as if he were trying to get enough to last a lifetime.
Because that was exactly what he was doing.
Ty couldn’t believe he was giving this up. Landon was everything he wanted, everything he needed. He loved this man. The sorrow was almost more than he could bear.
He ran his hands up and down Landon’s back and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Chapter Ten
“Not your fault,” Landon replied. It was true. It wasn’t Ty’s fault. He couldn’t blame Ty for not wanting to alienate his family. And he understood not wanting to hide. Although by denying their feelings for each other, that was exactly what they’d be doing. Hiding.
He rolled to the floor and listened to Ty’s breathing. Eventually he became aware of the itchy, prickly carpet under his ass and shoulders. He sat up, bending his knees and draping his arms across them. He craned his head over his shoulder.
Ty had an arm thrown across his eyes, and his sexy mouth was set in a hard line, which didn’t soften when he asked, “When did you figure it out?”
“That I loved you?” Landon asked. This time he didn’t regret the L word. Ty was leaving. It didn’t matter.
“No.” His voice cracked with emotion, and he cleared his throat. “That you were bi.”
Landon didn’t hesitate. “College. Before I met you.”
“Yeah. Me too.” He lifted his arm, so Landon could see his eyes and the wry expression on his face. “I was pretty confused. I thought people were either straight or gay. And I couldn’t figure out which one I was.”
Landon nodded.
Been there.
Got the souvenir T-shirt
,
mug and magnet
. The internet hadn’t been so user-friendly back then. There sure as hell hadn’t been much online information regarding sexuality. And checking out a book on sexual preferences from the library? No way in hell could he work up the nerve for that.
The texture of the carpet overwhelmed him, so he stood and extended a hand to Ty. “Let’s go to bed.”
“I should leave.”
“Come on, man. It’s stupid to spend money on a hotel when you can stay here.”
Ty removed the condom and walked to the bathroom. Landon sat on the edge of the bed. The toilet flushed, and then water splashed in the sink. When Ty trudged back to the bedroom, he crawled under the sheets and lay on his side, his back to Landon.