Authors: Dawn Stanton
“Hailey, don’t you worry about anyone else or what they think. You did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. It would have been so much worse if you had had a full on panic attack or if you went bat shit crazy on Cory’s ass in front of them all.” She smiles evilly as if she’s picturing it, before continuing.
“Austin and Kevin went out to get sunscreen and some ice for my cooler. When they get back, the four of us are going to spend the day on the beach and forget about Cory and all his bullshit. We are going to have an epic day and celebrate the beginning of the rest of our lives.”
***
Marcus is here. He just texted me. I’m still in bed, so I told him to unpack and I’d be over as soon as I’m dressed. Getting dressed right now, consists of putting my bikini on and a pair of low rise board shorts. I slept in more clothing than this so it’s ironic I’m “getting dressed”. I quickly brush my hair, leaving it down so it won’t take any extra time. I brush my teeth twice since I woke up with a horrible taste in my mouth this morning. Shelby had some tequila we were doing shots with last night and it always makes me have dragon breath and an aching head.
Shelby was good as her word and we did have an “epic” day yesterday. I don’t know if she gave Austin and Kevin a heads up that I was on the verge of meltdown mode, but they kept everything light and fun. I didn’t even catch a glimpse of Cory for the rest of the day.
I don’t even have a chance to knock on the O'Connor's front door before Marcus is pulling me inside and into his arms. We stay there connected in an embrace for a couple of minutes and I can’t help the tears that well in my eyes as he holds me. He notices as he pulls away and looks at me with concern.
“What’s going on Hails?”
“It’s nothing. It’s just been a shitty,"...I wave my hand dismissively as my reply hangs unfinished in the air. What should I say?
It’s been a shitty day...weekend...month...year?
I’m not one to focus on the negative and I don’t like the “poor me” attitude that my mom subscribes to.
“I’ve really missed you,” I say as I throw my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest. I breathe in the clean scent of Irish Spring soap that I always associate with him. He squeezes me tight before we part and smile at one another.
“What should we do first?” He asks as he rubs his hands together.
“I haven’t surfed yet; I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Sounds good.”
Spending time with Marcus makes me so happy. He calms my soul and makes everything else fade away. When I’m with him, I feel as though I’m truly living in the present, enjoying each moment as it happens. There’s no worry about tomorrow or seeing Cory again. It’s a joyful existence and I wish life could always be this simple.
We’ve been in the water for hours now and my skin is pruned and cold, but we’ve been having so much fun I haven’t wanted to stop. It’s not often that we get really great waves here so when we do I feel like I have to take advantage of them. Marcus and I haven’t surfed since last August, but he looks as though he never stopped. Unlike me, who looks like an uncoordinated beginner. I get better as the afternoon passes, but I’m still a bit skittish of the really big waves and I probably always will be. I’m not sure if you can ever fully mentally recover from a near death experience.
***
My parents are making a big feast for dinner and they invited some of their friends over. Of course, Marcus is here with me and we’ve pretty much been joined at the hip today. We’re sitting on the back deck at one of the tables while waiting for my dad to finish grilling. I’m starving from all the physical activity this afternoon so I’m chowing down on the salsa and chips. Marcus keeps stealing food from my plate and I’m slapping at his hand laughing when Jake and his entourage, which includes Cory and get ready for it…. Lulu.
And suddenly my appetite is gone.
I must make some kind of a noise or twitch or something because Marcus puts his arm around me.
“Are you alright?” He whispers in my ear. I look over at him and notice his brow is furrowed in concern. He’s so sweet and caring. I don’t want him worried about me so I smile and say I’m fine. The “Cory story” can hold for another day. I know I’ll share it with him, I just don’t want to rehash it now. Tonight is for focusing on my best friend and enjoying our time together.
Dinner goes off without a hitch. Jake and his friends sit at another table and there’s enough conversation going on around us that I can’t really hear what they are talking about. I have a clear view of Cory and Lulu from where I’m sitting and her bright red hair is like a flashing beacon for the world to see. I’m surprised she’s not a peroxide blonde like I’ve seen him with in the past. She’s hanging all over his arm and he’s focusing on me.
What the fuck?
I give him my best eat shit and die look, before looking away. I wonder if he feels any semblance of guilt over what happened last night? Probably not, because that would mean that he actually cared about me…or that he had a conscience.
The conversations around me quiet down and now I’m catching unwanted snippets of theirs. I can hear Lulu’s shrill voice over the others.
“Did daddy give you hell at work over it? I told him I wanted him to stay out of our relationship, but he said he can separate being your boss from being my dad.”
Now this is starting to make sense...he works for her father. Interesting.
I’m surprised he’s dating anyone never mind his boss’ daughter. What an idiot. I guess he’s never heard the saying - you don’t get your honey where you get your money. It almost never works out well and I’m actually looking forward to this ending poorly for him. Someday, I may forgive him for what happened, but I will never forget it.
Chapter Twelve
July 3, 2010
I’m so excited for the fireworks show tonight and sharing it with Marcus. The past two years Erik was here with me and even though we had fun I didn’t spend as much time with Marcus. I’m hoping to make up for that tonight. His mother is out of town with her new boyfriend so I’m going to stay over at their house. This actually works out well, because Jake and his friends are all here.
Yes, Lulu is here too.
I don’t want to be around them anymore than I have to. I’m trying to let it go, but that doesn’t mean I want it shoved in my face all day and night, either. It’s not easy being the bigger person. I’m really struggling with it because all I want to do is go over to him, punch him in the nose and then explain to his girlfriend what a prize he is. I’m only eighteen and he’s almost twenty-six, so why do I have to be the bigger person? If he had offered any kind of apology or acknowledged what happened was wrong, not because of our age difference, but because he’s involved with someone else, I might feel better about the whole thing. Instead, I’m feeling guilty for having sex with Lulu’s boyfriend when I didn’t even know about her.
***
Marcus and I are on my favorite blanket, in “our spot” when the fireworks begin. He leans over, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in front of him and placing me between his legs. He rests his chin on my shoulder and we watch the fireworks cuddled up against one another.
“This is nice. I’m glad I have you to myself this year.” He tells me. I nod my head in agreement.
“I was just thinking the same thing. The last couple of years were fun, but Erik was here and it took away from our normal routine. Tonight you're stuck with me.”
“Are we heading to the bonfires as usual or do you want to switch it up?” He asks.
“Let’s head down there and see who’s there. You better not run off with Lexy this year.” I say and poke him in his stomach.
He laughs before saying, “you need to let that shit go.”
“I have. We’re still friends aren’t we?” I ask innocently batting my eyelashes. He barks out a laugh and squeezes me tight. “You kill me, Hails. You are too much.”
We watch the remainder of the fireworks mostly in silence, just enjoying the peace of being with each other. His arms around me make me feel as if I can make it through all the craziness of the past couple weeks and be better for it. He’s helped me deal with a lot of difficult things that have happened to me since the New Year’s Eve debacle with E. We’ve had a great talk about it all, including what happened with Cory. At first he wanted to beat the shit out of him and I have to say, judging by how angry he was, I think he could’ve easily taken him. I somehow managed to talk him down and he hasn’t spoken a single word to Cory since. They’ve never been best buddies or anything, but they’re usually polite and occasionally joke around. I haven't spoken to him at all, either. If he comes into a room, I usually get up and walk away. I keep waiting for Jake to catch on and ask me about it, but so far so good.
***
After Marcus and I had hung out at the bonfires for about an hour, we decided to head back to his house. It was nice seeing old friends, but I don’t think either of us was feeling it. It’s now ten at night, so the beach is mostly empty. The dry sand is making it difficult to navigate in the dark and more than one time I’ve nearly fallen down. Marcus has been laughing at my lack of coordination.
“I’m going to start calling you Grace.”
“Ha-ha, you are such a riot. Now give me a piggy back ride so I don’t break my ankle.” He stops and squats down for me to hop on, before standing up. His hands are holding the back of my thighs near my ass, and I like the way it feels. I grip his broad shoulders with my hands and lean my cheek up against his.
“My hero,” I say kissing him on his cheek. “I have a reward for you once we get to your house.”
“Hmm, I’m a guy, I’m all about being rewarded,” Marcus replies as he starts to jog with me on his back. I giggle out loud from being bounced wildly up and down on his back. I clench my arms around his shoulders and hold on for dear life.
***
We are sitting on Marcus’ couch watching Jaws when I remember I never gave him his reward. I get up and walk to his bedroom, where I left my backpack. I unzip the top and reach inside for the brand new bottle of tequila I packed in there. I go back to the living room and stand in front of Marcus, holding the bottle behind my back. He looks at me questioningly, while he waits for me to say something.
“I have something for you that I know you’re going to like. I pull the bottle out from behind me and say “ta-da.” His eyes light up when he realizes what it is and he smiles at me.
“Thanks, Hail. You know how much I love tequila. Should we get shot glasses or just pass the bottle?”
“Marcus, we are civilized people. We don’t drink from the bottle; we need shot glasses. Besides, how else am I going to keep track of how much I’m drinking?” He laughs and gets up from the couch to grab some glasses. He places them on the coffee table, before cracking open the bottle’s seal and pouring us shots. He hands me mine and we both knock them back at the same time. I gasp a little from the after burn in my throat.
“You’re a lightweight Hails. Here, have another one.” He pours me my second one and we clink them together before tipping them back. I cover my mouth and my eyes water a little from the sensation of it burning my mouth.
We continue to watch the movie and shoot back shots for the next hour and now I’m feeling very mellow and warm. My limbs feel heavy and tired so I lean my head on Marcus’ shoulder. He puts his arm around me and pulls me into his side, so I’m cuddled against him. I look up at his handsome profile with his straight, narrow nose and full kissable lips and I think about how hot he actually is. I don’t know if it’s the amount of tequila I’ve downed or if I’m seeing him in a new light, now that I’m no longer in a relationship with anyone? He looks down at me and our eyes meet and lock...two very different shades of blue with the same hunger reflected in them. I’m not sure which one of us moves first but suddenly our lips are fused together and I’m straddling his lap. His hands are gripping my hair and I’m rubbing his coarsely stubbled jawline with both hands. I can’t wait to feel it scratching my sensitive areas. His hands slide down to my hips and around to cup my ass, inside the waistband of the boxers I’m wearing. They are loose so they make for easy access. I slide my palms slowly up the ridges and ripples of his stomach and pull his tee-shirt over his head. Resting against his muscular chest is the white gold cross that was his grandfather’s. Marcus never takes it off, not even to surf. He leans forward and aids me in pulling it over his head, before connecting our lips again, teasing my tongue with his. I sit back and remove my shirt, leaving me bare from the waist up.
“I knew you’d be beautiful, just like I imagined. I’ve dreamed of this so many times, baby.” He cups both my breasts in his hands, rubbing my nipples. I groan at the contact as he takes one in his mouth and sucks gently on it. I grip his hair with both my hands and push my chest towards him. He moves to the other side and nibbles on my nipple, before gently biting it. I gasp from the feeling and roll my pelvis into his. I can feel his very hard and rather sizeable erection pressing deliciously against my core, leaving my boxers drenched.
He stands up with me wrapped around him and carries me to his bed, laying me gently down on his navy blue comforter.
“I want you in my bed. I’ve pictured you here so many times.” He strips off his shorts and boxers in one sweep, before climbing on the bed to remove my boxers. We’re both naked now as we pause to gaze at each other.
“Marcus your body is so freaking hot. Get over here now.” I order. He grins, laying over me and presses our lips together once more. I can feel him hard and ready up against me.
“Marcus, how many girls have you been with?” I know this seems like an unorthodox time to ask this but, it’s better now than after. We’ve spoken about so many things from the fact that I’m on the pill to me reassuring him that Cory did wear a condom, that I’m shocked I never thought to ask him before. I just naturally assumed he had lost his virginity with some random girl.
“I haven’t had sex before, Hails. I’ve always wanted my first time to be with you.” I grab him and pull his mouth to mine so forcefully our teeth clank together and I push my hips up so he’s sliding along the outside of my slit. I wrap my legs around his hips and beg him.
“Please, Marcus. I need you now.” He reaches down, aligning himself and thrusts inside me for the first time. He releases a guttural groan and holds still for a moment.
“Baby, you feel so good wrapped all around me.” He starts to move his hips back and forth and a succession of moans and groans fall from his lips. I take his hand and place it where I want him to rub me and he doesn’t disappoint. I pull his mouth down to mine, biting and nipping at his lips as he thrusts his hips faster and faster.
“Don’t stop touching me,” I groan as I feel my release building. He throws his head back and he cries out my name in the midst of his release, sending me over the edge at the same time. He collapses in a heap on top of me as we both gasp for breath. He raises his head and stares into my eyes before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
“That was beyond words. It was perfection, Hailey.”
“Mmm, that was amazing Marcus.” I say and I think about how that may have been the best sexual experience of my life. The sex with Erik was always good, but not great and with Cory it was really hot. With Marcus, I felt such an emotional connection that it scared me a little. With my romantic history, I need to protect myself from getting hurt again. Being intimate with Marcus wasn't just meaningless sex. I'd had that before, with Cory. Making love with Marcus felt different than any prior sexual experience. It felt like...more.
We fell asleep in one another’s arms and woke up the same way. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel any morning after awkwardness and he didn’t seem to either.
“Hails, there’s something I’ve been putting off telling you.” I cut him off.
“If you tell me you have a girlfriend now, I swear I’ll never speak to you again.” He chuckles before replying.
“No, I don’t have a girlfriend. Look, I know we planned on both being at Beacon for college, but I got a full football scholarship at Western University in California. It’s only like twenty minutes from my dad so I can do my internship with him. He wants me to come out there early so I can spend some time with him before school starts. So,” he pauses, “I’m leaving in two weeks.”
“Marcus, why are you just telling me this? You don’t think that this is something you should have shared with me before now...before we had sex?”
“Hails, I didn’t want to make you sad. You’d already been through so much and I didn’t want to add to that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but please know that I had good intentions. I never want to be the reason you cry Hailey.”
“Well, it’s too late now Marcus," I wail. “I’m going to miss you so much. School’s going to majorly suck without you.” He pulls me into his chest and holds me close.
“I will miss you so much Hails and I know college won’t be half as much fun as it would have been if we were going to Beacon together.”
“Marcus, I love what we did last night. It was perfect, but I just want to keep our relationship friends only from this point on. You’re going to be three thousand miles away for four years and I really don’t want a repeat of the Erik situation.”
“Hails, first of all, I’m not Erik so don’t insult me. I could absolutely remain faithful to you no matter how many miles are between us. I understand why you feel the way you do and I’ll respect what you want, but someday I’m going to change your stubborn mind. Someday I’m going to make all your dreams come true."
***
Marcus and I went off to college on opposite sides of the country and spent the next four years trying to forget about our night of passion, by convincing ourselves we were only friends.