Walking Wolf Road (Wolf Road Chronicles Book 1) (32 page)

Raven’s massive shadow fell over us as he swooped down and plunged into my chest. Violet light exploded over us and I choked on my scream as we were yanked into the water. We exploded from the surface on the other side, back into the dark cold night of the physical realm.

I hugged my wolf close and the two of us merged, just like my dream with t
he pool, as Raven winged us up the side of the mountain to my body. I saw people below us, waving around flashlights. I realized they were probably looking for me. It felt like half a day had passed in the spirit world, but hardly any time had passed here.

As Raven winged us higher, a terrible sound rolled off the mountain. It seemed impossible that a human throat could even make a sound like that, but as we neared my body I saw the
crouching figure that had made it.

Surreally, I watched John turn my body over. My lips were blue and my body moved stiffly under his hands as he pulled me up to his chest and kissed my forehead. Tears spilled down his cheeks and caught in his beard when he closed his eyes and held my head to his shaking chest, “My boy… my boy…”

Frantic, John pulled off his coat and bundled it under my head and then started C.P.R. “Jimmy! Come back to me! Please God, give him back to me—” he sobbed as he tried to restart my heart.

After all the years I’d spent trying to hurt him, I felt tears spill down my face as I hurt for him. “I’ve seen enough Raven, please put me back!” I pleaded. When I turned to look back at the bird, a man stood in its place. Like Lupa, he looked Native American, but with long black hair and cobalt blue eyes just like mine. Around his neck he wore a necklace draped over his bare chest, raven’s skull and several black feathers hung from it.

“L
ay down over your body, kid.” Raven said, and I did as he said.

Raven cupped his hands over the top of my head and blew air through them. I felt my soul expand to fill the flesh like a balloon filling a mold; forming into place.

Nothing happened.

I looked up at Raven as his eyes went completely black and he whispered, “Never forget; you bear my mark…” Then he placed his hand over my heart and violet light washed over us as his power jolted into me.

I’d forgotten the pain of physical life until merciless sensation roared over me like electric fire and my eyes snapped open. I drew in a gasp that was part scream as I came back to life…

“J
immy!” John cried as I coughed and struggled for air. My body convulsed as nerve endings flared back to life all over my body while the oppressive dense weight of flesh sent me into a panic.

A familiar sensation swept through me as my wolf rushed to the surface; but he smashed into the glass ceiling just as he was about to fully emerge. I closed my eyes to keep John from seeing them change color while he bundled me up in his coat and carried me down the mountain.

By the time we reached the SUV, my shifting energy was hard at work repairing my body. John cranked up the heater as high as it would go as Loki and her parents came running back from their search, relieved to see me. Loki’s dad grabbed some thick wool blankets from the back of his truck to wrap me up as Loki’s mom poured me a hot cup of coffee from a thermos.

Loki ran up and hugged me, before she pulled back and yelled, “What the hell were you thinking?” She stomped away from me, angrily wiping tears off her face. John thank
ed Loki’s mom and dad for coming out to help look for me.

“Of course John, we’re glad he’s okay. These kids have had one hell of a year haven’t they?” Loki’s dad replied as he shook John’s hand. Loki and her parents loaded into her dad’s truck and drove off, leaving John and I alone.

“We need to go get Jake and your mom; they were looking for you at Fen’s cemetery.”

“Oh…” I muttered, that made sense, “how did you find me?”

“I did a GPS trace on your cell phone,” he said and looked away with a distant expression.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He looked at me for a moment, and then smiled and looked off into space again while muscles worked in his jaw. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper.

“It’s not easy being a dad… Nobody ever warned me about the sleepless nights, the worrying, the fights you’d have with yourself and your kid.”

“What are you talking about?” My ears perked forward to catch every word.

“I’m sorry Jim…” Tears formed at the corners of his eyes and slowly traced down the lines of his face. “I’m—so sorry—that I couldn’t be the dad that you wanted. That I couldn’t be the father you needed me to be…” His voice broke under the weight of a decade’s pent up emotion.

He embraced me as he cried and his body shook. Tears of my own slipped out as he rocked me back and forth. “And I’m so sorry that I hurt you when Fen died, I just… You can’t even imagine the terror I felt, the helplessness; I didn’t know what to do, that bullet came
inches
from you!”

I blinked as wheels sprang into motion in my head. I’d never thought of it that way…

“Dad,” I muttered, and meant it, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit. I just never felt like I was good enough for you, I only ever wanted you to be proud of me.”

He sniffed and tried to smile around his puffy bloodshot eyes. “I
am
proud of you Jimmy! I’m sorry I never told you enough, I just knew you were capable of so much more, and it frustrated me when you didn’t
try
. Don’t you ever think for a moment that I don’t love you, or that I won’t support you.” He took a deep breath and wiped his face on his sleeve, “I should clean myself up before Jake and your mother see me. She thinks I’m the strong and silent type, I can’t let that reputation break now or else I’ll really be in for it!”

“Mum’s the word
. Oh, and dad?” I called as he turned, “Thank you… for everything you’ve done for me…”

He smiled deeply and reached out to ruffle my hair, “It’s been my pleasure. Just,
please
stop running away like that…”

I laughed and said, “Sure thing.” When I looked into his blue eyes, I saw what I’d been looking for all along. Genes were all that were necessary for someone to make a child, but it took way more than just DNA to be a Dad.

Somewhere deep inside me, the dragon let out an anguished shriek as more pieces of its darkness rotted and faded away. Light broke through the bleeding holes, wounding and dragging it closer to annihilation. The beast was a shade of its former self; so much of its strength had been drawn from my conflict with John—which too was fading into the past—and now the dragon was dying… it was only a matter of time…

We picked Mom and Jake up and drove home while Mom unleashed a torrent of frustration on me. I only half listened, distracted by wolf squirming inside me like a hyperactive puppy. I realized then just how much more aware I was of my wolf than ever before; he wasn’t just some amorphous presence that occasionally showed itself that I referred to as ‘my wolf’ anymore. He was Wolf; he was me, and yet at the same time he was more truly himself, more free and unbound within me than ever before.

As happy as that made me, sadness washed through me every time I thought of my
Qhipe
. Fen had been so afraid of ghosts, of Corwin’s soul or his dad’s unbecoming. Yet I’d been forced to watch my own grandfather sacrifice everything he ever was and could have ever been for me… I grieved over losing something I’d just found; but at the same time, I finally allowed myself to find some measure of closure where my bio-dad was concerned. It was time to let go.

The next day was sunny and warm. Melting snow ran in rivulets down the side of the mountain as John and I pu
lled my car free with his SUV When we got home, I called Loki and asked her to come over, but she was still upset with me.

“Loki, please, I
need
to talk to you. I need to tell you what really happened last night.” I pleaded, and after a moment of silence, she sighed, and agreed.

I picked her up and we isolated ou
rselves downstairs in the Dungeon. At last, I told her almost everything
.
Well…
almost
everything. I came clean about Wolf’s desertion and my depression, Raven, and the Lowerworld.

Finally, I told her about
Qhipe
and almost started to cry. “It felt like the first chance I got to finally connect with that side of my family, it was snatched away from me again. I know nothing about the guy, I don’t even know his real name; all I know is that he was my grandfather. But… he sacrificed his
soul
to give me a second chance.”

“At what?”

“At everything… Don’t you see what this means?” I said, “Fen always said everything has a reason. After he died and Geri left, it was like I froze. I forgot my identity, my purpose, but now I have the chance to set things right.” I leaned forward.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Fen…” I sighed, “When Fen died, the police wrote it off as a freak accident. But—I can’t shake the thought that he was murdered…
because
he was a wolf, like us.”

The idea was staggering, but I could tell that Loki shared my opinion. “Okay Jimmy, I have to admit that fits better than the police’s conclusion, but… no one outside the Pack
even knows what we are!”

“The night Fen and I fought for dominance; there was this car in the school parking lot. They could have seen us fighting.”

“Who was in the car?”

“I don’t know, their headlights blinded me. I couldn’t see the driver, or what kind of car it was.”

“Great,” Loki snapped and held her head, “if the police couldn’t find any suspects, how are we supposed to?”

“Think about it; the police can’t talk to spirits. My grandfather died eighteen years ago, but in the Lowerworld he was as solid as if he’d just left his body yesterday, and he said he’d been watching me my whole life.”

“So? You just said your grandfather’s soul is gone for good, so it’s not like we can ask him if he saw whodunit.”

“No, but if I can break through the veil and reach the spirits here,”
like Corwin
, “I might be able to ask their help finding the one who murdered Fen. I might even be able to find Fen himself…”

“Jimmy, you’re scaring me,” she whispered, “I’ve spent too much time under the attention of the dead. They’ll drag you over if they can, please Jimmy, don’t do this,” she pleaded.

“But what about Fen?”

“I know—I know you loved him,” uncertainty entered her voice. “But you can’t throw your life away for the sake of the dead. No matter what you do, you can’t bring him back.”

“I know that! But I can’t live with myself knowing that I had a shot at justice, and walked away from it. You said I was powerful before, well now I have a chance to use that power to actually
do
something.”

“I know that but—wait, what is this?” she asked and pushed the sleeve of my t-shirt up. I looked down at the shiny strips of scar tissue wrapped around my upper arm.

“That’s where Raven grabbed me. Lupa said I’m marked by Brother Raven. That means more than just my hair.” I sighed. “Like it or not, death is a part of my life.”

Loki ran her fingers over the scars and I shuddered; I couldn’t feel her touch so much as the pressure of her fingers. Her eyes glistened as she pulled her hand away and she wiped them on the back of her
sleeve as I asked her what was wrong.