Wanderlove (23 page)

“What is the meaning of this?” Ivan asked.

“The meaning of
this
,” Gabriel snarled. “Is that these two girls are no longer your slaves. I am going to give you one hour to pack up your people and your things-- and then you will get the hell out of my camp.”

Ivan swallowed. His jaw line became rigid, as if he were trying to reclaim his dominance over the situation. “I will leave your camp, Constantin. But I’m taking
my
property with me.”

“These women were never yours to claim,” Gabriel informed Ivan. “In fact, I was at the inn with these girls when Faucon raided it and took what didn’t belong to him. Unfortunately, I didn’t have my sight at the time, so I failed to realize it until now.”

“It makes no difference to me how Faucon came by them,” Ivan told him, trying his best to sound menacing. “I have paid a price for each of them. They belong to me now.”

“I’ll double your price for your trouble.”

“You don’t understand.” He finally let the desperation he was hiding reflect in his tone. “This one has already been bought and paid for.” He motioned to Liliana. “If I don’t show up with her in tow, I am going to be in a lot of trouble.”

Gabriel moved to his horse. He removed a bag of coins from the saddlebag, which he promptly tossed before Ivan’s feet.

“Now you can pay him back. That should be more than enough and you’re lucky I’m giving you anything at all. Get out of my camp, Ivan. Before I change my mind.”

Ivan knew he was at a loss. There was nothing more he could say or do. Gabriel watched as he angrily stormed away.

Once he was gone, Gabriel knelt down beside Liliana’s still form. He carefully untied her ropes, trying his best not to move her.

“How could you let this happen to yourself?” he asked her sullenly.

But she didn’t say anything. Truthfully, he didn’t expect her to. Whatever her reasons were, she had made it apparently clear that she would rather undergo extreme pain than to identify herself to him. Furthermore, her actions led him to believe she found a life of slavery preferable than merely asking him for his help.

He’d never been so upset with someone in his entire life. If Liliana wasn’t already severely wounded, he would’ve liked to soundly throttle her.

The thought of causing Liliana more harm made Gabriel feel instantly guilty. But he couldn’t help it. There was an intense rage building in his core-all because of this woman. This
stupid
woman.

Gabriel forced himself to push away his anger-for now. He’d deal with it later. “I’m going to have to lift you,” he said. “I’ll try to avoid your wounds, but unfortunately, you’ll probably feel even the slightest of movements. Do you think you can bear it?”

Her eyes were open now. He noticed there was a brief hesitance before she nodded. He wasn’t sure if it stemmed from fear of more pain, or for fear of trusting him.

Gently, Gabriel reached underneath Liliana’s body to lift her by pushing her stomach upward. “I would carry you, but I fear it would hurt worse.”

“I can walk.” Her voice was uneven and whispered. But she maintained her stance as he continued to push her by her stomach until she was standing upright.

“Here, lean against me.” Gabriel pulled her flat against his side. “All you have to do is move your feet,” he told her. “I’ll try and take most of your weight.”

She winced, biting hard on her lower lip. He paused, feeling helpless. He wished he could take her pain from her. He wished he could bear it for her.

It was in that instance that Gabriel’s world came crashing down on him for the second time that day. The pain eventually subsided and she looked up into his eyes, and he could see that for the first time she expressed a small measure of trust in her gaze.

Those eyes, those enchantingly intoxicating eyes. They were the exact color of a bright sapphire brooch Gabriel’s mother used to wear while she was alive.

“Do sapphires mean anything to you?”
Ana, the young seer, had asked him that question earlier. He hadn’t understood before. It seemed so meaningless. Sapphires didn’t mean anything. Until now…

Now he understood the true depth of what those eyes really meant to him. When Liliana had looked upon him in that one instance, he had given her his heart, his soul, even. He realized now, in her eyes, he glimpsed a side of himself that desperately wanted to be worthy of someone like her. He refused to let go of whoever that person may be. Liliana may have developed an indifference to him he didn’t fully understand yet, but he was determined to rid her of it.

“You can move forward now. I’m alright,” she assured Gabriel, mistaking his long pause for caution.

He moved forward, staring at Liliana with a newfound wonder. He was unexpectedly in awe of her sheer existence.

Liliana winced as she felt the cold cloth rest against one of her wounds.

“I’m sorry,
draga
. I know it must be very painful.”

The woman (she’d said her name was Samina) had a very soothing voice. It reminded Liliana of her mother. An intense bout of homesickness crept up on her in that moment. These past few months, she’d tried to stay strong, especially for Eryn, but now that she had found a moment of solace, the heartache was beginning to affect her resilient façade. She wanted to go home so badly. She wanted to feel her mother’s arms around her and argue with Kristoph again.

“The hide was made from an alpaca. It’s our softest.” Samina continued to make light conversation. Liliana heard her ringing the cloth free of the excess water into a bowl on a nearby table. “Unfortunately, the wounds must be cleaned. It’s to prevent infection. Because, believe me, an infection would be much worse than the pain you’re feeling now.”

“Here, let me.” The gruff voice came from Gabriel. “I’ll tend to her.”

He’d been told to wait outside of the tent while Samina attended Liliana’s wounds, but he clearly hadn’t listened.

Liliana’s body immediately tensed upon hearing the voice. “I’d rather you didn’t,” she openly said to him.

Gabriel ignored her request. “Go,” he commanded Samina. When the woman was hesitant to leave, he reassured her by saying, “I won’t hurt her. I promise. Now go.”

Samina obeyed and quietly departed.

“Tell me if I’m using too much pressure,” Gabriel spoke in a soft voice. He picked up the cloth Samina had been using from the bowl of water and rang it out. “The water is mixed with herbs, which should cool some of the stinging. Or so I heard Samina mention.”

Liliana remained quiet as he cleansed her wounds.

“Does that hurt?” he asked as he lightly dabbed.

“No,” Liliana answered. She didn’t like that he was being so nice. It didn’t seem to match up with the persona of a Constantin.

Very softly, he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me, Lily?”

“Because you’re a Constantin,” Liliana answered honestly. “You should have told me that when I first met you. That’s probably why you were out in those woods in the first place, wasn’t it?”

He decided to be just as honest. “Yes,” he answered her. “There were men sent with orders to kill all abandoners. My brothers and I were at the top of their list.”

“Why?”

Gabriel snorted. “There are several answers for your question, Lily.”

Her body tensed as his cloth touched a very tender spot.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine.”

She eventually relaxed again and he continued on. She seemed so different now, very calm and serene. It was so unexpected, especially after the fiery rage she’d directed towards Ralph earlier that day. “They killed my mother,” he told her suddenly. He hadn’t expected to share this with the girl. But it was too late to take it back now.

“Who did?” Liliana asked, confused.

“Salazar Bonjara. He was the reigning king at the time. He was just one of many corrupt Royals. Her death was the main reason I chose to abandon them.”

He waited for her reaction. When she didn’t say anything, he continued his story. “She was a good, decent woman. She wanted to implement a more even disbursement of the wealth amongst the gypsy tribes. Salazar decided to shut her up by killing her off…he did it with poison. I watched as she choked on it.”

Gabriel’s voice was low, emotionless. But buried deep within, he felt a pang of the emotions he’d been tortured with as he watched his own mother die.

He suddenly wondered why he was wasting his time telling the gypsy girl. She wouldn’t understand. She’d made up her mind to hate him.

After he was finished, Gabe set the cloth down and headed out of the tent. “I’ll send Samira in to assist with your bandages,” he said over his shoulder.

Later on that night, Liliana showed up in Gabriel’s tent, surprising him completely. She carried a plate of food in her hands. Her complexion wasn’t as pale and lifeless as it was earlier. The color was back in her cheeks. She appeared very calm and demure.

“Why do you not dine with the others?” she asked him curiously.

“I usually do.”

She fidgeted for a moment before moving towards him. “I’ve brought you something to eat.” She handed him the plate. “May I sit?”

Gabriel nodded. He didn’t know what to make of her newfound easiness around him. She’d made it very clear earlier she wanted nothing to do with him. Carefully, she set the plate on the table, and then took a seat on the pillow across from him.

“I spoke with your brother, Dragos, over supper. He told me about your family histories. He told me more about your mother and how she died. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

Gabriel shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

He watched her intensely. Apart from her apparent pity, she seemed nervous. He was suddenly very curious to find out what her reason was for being here.

“All my life, I’ve been told the Constantins are a band of murderers--”

Gabriel cut her off before she could tarnish his family’s name. “Most of the deaths we’ve been accused of weren’t our doing. Though I’ll admit I killed Bonjara. The bastard deserved to die.”

Liliana merely nodded in understanding.

“Let me finish,” she pleaded with him quietly. “As I was saying, all my life I’ve been told your family is a band of murderers…but I think I may have been very wrong. And I apologize for my misjudgment. I could see it in the way that Dragos’s people adore him. And I know who you are, Gabriel. I know the kindness in your heart. Today, you only further proved it. But I let your name blind me and for that I am truly sorry.”

He was taken aback by her sudden change of heart. He didn’t even know if he deserved to hear this.

“Lady, I am not as good as you think. I have done things I’m ashamed of.”

“Haven’t we all?” She smiled and then let out a small sigh. “And I think I’ve told you before that my name is Liliana.”

Gabriel exhaled also. It was almost as if he’d been holding his breath ever since he’d lost the girl the first time. And now here she was, sitting across from him. He could breathe again.

“Remind me to thank Dragos later,” Gabriel told her.

“For enlightening me with the truth?”

“Yes.”

She looked as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t quite get the words out.

“Is there something else?” he asked curiously.

She bit her lip. “Yes, well, I want to ask you something.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Dragos also mentioned you were looking for me. He said you spent months searching.”

Gabriel nodded. “That’s true. You saved me that night of the storm. I wanted to return the favor.”

“Oh. . .I see.”

“So what’s your question?” he asked her.

She started to fidget again, twirling her wrists.

Despite himself, he chuckled at her nervousness. “Spit it out,” he demanded.

She blushed, clearly embarrassed. Finally, she admitted, “I guess what I really want to know is. . .why did you bother to help me today? I deserved every lash. I was too proud to ask for your help because of what I thought you were.”

Gabriel set his food aside and moved closer to Liliana. He took her fidgeting hands and pulled them into his own large ones, stilling her movements. Looking deeply into Liliana’s sapphire eyes, he told her, “Because I wanted to change your mind.”

“Why do you care what I think?”

His gray eyes searched hers. He paused, unsure of how to tell her what he needed to. Finally, he declared, “Because what you think matters. . .I believe your thoughts will matter for the rest of my life.”

With that said, Gabriel gathered Liliana’s face and hair between his hands and kissed her until she was breathless.

A newfound wonder spread over Liliana as she contemplated what Gabriel meant to her. All she was sure of was that he mattered to her, too. He mattered so much.

“Not all those who wander are lost.” –
JRR Tolkien

I awoke from the deepest slumber I’d ever experienced in my entire life.

For the first time ever, I needed to figure out
when
I was rather than
where
I was. The scent of the soft lavender sheets beneath me eventually led me to remember that I wasn’t dreaming in the past anymore. I’d been transported back into the present.

Glancing at the alarm clock, which sat beside me on the bedside table, I could see the time 2:45 flashing in bright red numbers. I was sure it was p.m., rather than a.m. I wearily pushed myself off of the mattress and sat up in bed. I ran my fingers through my hair and discovered the long strands were still sticky from last night’s hairspray. Trying to push past the haze of sleepiness surrounding me, I wondered why I still felt so exhausted.

An eerie feeling overwhelmed me as I fought through the lethargy. It was like I was a different person, waking up for the very first time. Well, maybe not different. But unequivocally more complete. Though I’d never lost a limb before, I’d bet anything that the return of my memories was akin to the feeling one gets when they receive a prosthetic. The feeling of detachment is no longer hauntingly present.