Wanted (Hostage Rescue Team Series Book 8) (6 page)

But they didn’t drive to any residential neighborhoods, they drove downtown instead, to a busy shopping district. Twice Amanda nearly lost them in heavy traffic, cursed as she jerked the wheel to avoid being T-boned by a pickup when she ran a red light to catch up.

Her heart beat too fast, impatience making her reckless. She had to chill, get a grip. Celida would be trained in surveillance. If Amanda ran any more lights or made it obvious she was following them, Celida would notice. She wished she’d been able to get a tracking device on the car, but it had been too chancy.

She pulled back, maintained a safe distance from the silver car. It parked along the curb in front of a row of shops and the women went inside. As Amanda passed by she studied the shop.

A caterer. The windows were covered by blinds, so she couldn’t see inside. And there was no damn parking on this entire freaking block, she thought in annoyance.

There was nowhere to go but forward.

She circled the block a few times, never able to find a place to park. By the time she came around the fourth time, the silver car had pulled out into traffic and was driving through the next intersection. Amanda shot a glance to her left, saw an opening and veered around the car in front of her.

Horns blared, several vehicles coming at her slammed on their brakes, but she didn’t stop. She sped through the intersection, determined not to lose that silver car.

But two lights later she was stuck at a red and the car slipped out of sight.

Cursing, she picked up her phone and dialed her male contact. She’d vowed not to be anyone’s whore again, but one last lay or a blowjob would be worth it if it helped her nail Zoe. “I need you to trace a plate for me, right now.”

Zoe might have just bought herself some more time, but it wouldn’t change anything in the end. She was still going to die.

****

Reclining on the red Victorian velvet living room sofa she’d hauled here from New Orleans, Zoe finally decided to concede defeat and put her laptop on the black-lacquered coffee table beside her. She’d been sitting here for nearly three hours and hadn’t gotten a damn word down in her manuscript. Usually the last few chapters of a book flowed easily for her, but not this time.

After all the hours she’d put into researching and writing the draft, a satisfying way to end this book continued to elude her. There were too many loose threads to tie up, too many things still unresolved between her hero and heroine.

Much like they were between her and Clay.

Things weren’t…going so well with them. His meeting yesterday had turned into a series of meetings that hadn’t ended until almost ten. By the time he’d rolled in the door she’d been in bed fast asleep and she’d been too exhausted to talk when he’d slid in beside her.

She’d slept like a dead woman until he’d rolled out of bed at five this morning to hit the range with the guys, and he’d been gone all day. Part of her wondered if he was avoiding another conversation about the baby because he didn’t know what to say, but the longer it took for them to talk, the more her worry increased.

Honestly she didn’t know how much more stress she could handle right now. The deadline for this book was Monday morning, but she didn’t even care right now because she couldn’t concentrate.

There was a baby growing inside her.

It was all she’d been able to think about since finding out the news yesterday. Even when she and Celida had been out running a couple quick errands this morning, she’d barely been able to pay attention to what her best friend had said. Zoe had wanted to tell her so badly, and couldn’t, because she and Clay hadn’t talked about telling anyone else yet.

He’d seemed as stunned as she’d felt when she’d told him the news yesterday, and even though he hadn’t freaked out she worried he was putting on a brave face for her and not telling her how he really felt. Clay was a master of hiding his emotions. As a result she felt restless, unsettled, which was totally unlike her. But little wonder.

Things had been so wonderful between them up to now, and Zoe couldn’t help but worry that this might damage their relationship permanently. She didn’t blame him for not being excited about the baby when she herself was still trying to come to grips with this.

Her emotions had been in chaos since yesterday morning. At the moment she was ten percent excited and ninety percent scared about becoming a mother, only because this had happened without being planned.

And yet…she was already emotionally attached to the life growing inside her. She’d always been a natural caregiver and felt protective of the baby now, even though she was still trying to adapt to her new role as a mother in a few more months.

She chewed her bottom lip. Clay had said everything would be okay, but what if he felt trapped later on because the decision to become a father had been made for him? She didn’t
think
he would, but if it turned out she was wrong, then he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was, and not the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Nerves buzzed in her stomach until she couldn’t stand it anymore. Pushing up, she walked into the kitchen to grab her cell phone and dialed Clay, but it went straight to voicemail. His silence, whether intentional or not, made her heart heavy.

Walking back into the living room, she stood there staring at the blood-red feature wall she’d painted, lined with shelves displaying her collection of bats and skulls and ravens. She’d been teased and bullied because of her Goth style since she was a teenager. Turned out her ex-husband had hated it too. But not Clay.

From day one he’d accepted her as she was. He had hung these shelves for her, had obediently moved all the heavy antique furniture around the condo without complaint until she was satisfied with the layout of each room. Even after moving in here, he’d never tried to change things. Never tried to change
her
.

She might be a strong, confident woman who didn’t give a shit what most people thought of her, but she cared what Clay thought. And she loved him to death for allowing her the room to be herself. God, things had to work out between them.
Had
to.

Sinking back onto the sofa, out of desperation she called Celida.

Her friend picked up almost immediately. “Hey, Zozo.”

Damn, it felt good just to hear her voice, Celida’s steadiness palpable even through the phone line. “Hi. Am I interrupting anything important?”

“Not really, and I can make myself available if you need me. Is this about the cake? Because like I told you, I don’t even care what kind you decide on.”

“You’d care if it was a red velvet Dracula cake that looked like it was bleeding when you slice it open in front of your guests.” Personally Zoe found the idea awesome.

“Would not. We’re just gonna eat it all anyway. So, what’s up?” When Zoe hesitated, Celida spoke again. “Hey. You okay?”

She blew out a breath, rubbed her fingertips over her forehead. “I need a private best friend convo.”

“Oh, wow. Okay, hang on a sec.” She must have put the phone to her chest or something because her voice was muffled as she spoke to whoever was in the room with her and then Zoe heard a door close. “All right, it’s just me. So what’s up? What did Bauer do now?”

The mention of his name made her throat tighten. Pregnancy hormones already? Or was she just losing her mind? “He didn’t do anything. Well, he did, but not on purpose.”

Celida was silent a moment. “What did he do, Zo?”

“We both did it.” More than a few times at the exact wrong time in her cycle, as it turned out. “I’m pregnant,” she blurted.

Celida’s shocked silence said it all.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Zoe rushed on. “Swear you won’t say anything, not even to Tuck.”

“I can’t keep a secret like that from him!”

“You have to! Clay and I have barely even talked about the whole thing because he got called away yesterday in the middle of it, so I probably shouldn’t be telling you, but I can’t stand not being able to talk to someone about this.”

“Okay, so this is…unexpected, I gather? I mean, you don’t sound overly thrilled about it and you never mentioned to me about wanting to have a baby.”

“It was an accident.” Wait, she had to stop saying that. She refused to think about this baby as being an
accident
. It wasn’t fair to the child and never wanted her son or daughter to think he or she wasn’t wanted. “I mean, no, we didn’t plan for this to happen.” But it was, and if Clay decided he wasn’t ready to be a father then she’d have no choice but to leave him. The very thought made her want to cry.

“Well that’s…wow.”

The sinking feeling in her stomach was becoming way too familiar. “Yeah. I know.”

“So when did you tell him?”

“Right after you guys left yesterday.”

“I knew something was up! I said to Tuck as we were walking to the elevator that I thought something was up. I can’t believe you didn’t say anything to me yesterday, or this morning when we were alone. So how’d he take it?”

“He was shocked, same as I was, but he didn’t freak out. Said it would be okay, cuddled me while I lost it.” He hadn’t freaked, hadn’t accused her of getting pregnant behind his back. Those were positive signs, right?

“Wow. That’s impressive, especially for Bauer.”

Zoe huffed out a laugh. “He’s come a long way since we’ve been together. And now I can’t stop worrying that this is going to ruin everything between us.” If it did, however, she was gone.

Celida snorted. “Okay, you must not have been sleeping enough lately because that’s just crazy talk. That man might be rough around the edges, but he’s crazy about you.”

Zoe nibbled on a black-painted fingernail, all her subconscious fears bubbling to the surface. “Yeah, but what if he feels trapped or something once the baby’s born? Being a dad. You know how commitment-phobic he was when he and I got together. I don’t want him sticking around out of a sense of duty.” That’s why she was feeling so freaking insecure about this whole thing.

“He won’t.” Celida sounded absolutely certain on that. “But Zo, come on, just phone the man. You need to be talking to him about this right now, not me.”

“I know.” She slumped into the corner of the sofa, dragged her favorite bat-and-jack ‘o lantern-lap quilt over her legs. “I haven’t been able to get hold of him.”

“Hmm, Tuck did mention he’d be busy today, so I guess the whole team is involved in whatever’s going on.”

Zoe sighed. “It’s just not how I’d planned it all out in my head. I thought eventually he’d get over his phobia about marriage and then pop the question. We’d get married soon after that and then have a few years together as a married couple at least before we even thought about having kids.”

“I get that. And jeez, speaking of marriage, we’d better get our dresses sized right away because I’m betting your boobs are already bigger than they were a couple weeks ago.”

Zoe smiled a little at Celida’s teasing tone. “Well if they’re going to be this sore, they damn well better at least give me another cup size.” She’d always been smaller on top than on the bottom, a true pear shape. Might be kinda nice to have more up top for a change. And come to think of it, her bras were pretty snug now.

Celida laughed. “So, when’s the big day? Spring? And how are you feeling? Sick at all?”

“Middle of May, and I feel fine, except my boobs are unbelievably sore and I sometimes feel like I’m a little hung over, especially in the mornings.”

“May’s the perfect time to have a baby.”

“Says the woman who’s not pregnant.” But already the anxiety she’d been fighting with all day was fading. She should have just told Celida first thing when her friend had picked her up this morning, on the way to the coffee shop. She would have felt so much better about all this. “Mostly I just hate that it’s happened this way.”

Celida snorted. “Well it did. He’s a grown man, Zo, and he was just as responsible for the making of this baby as you were. He can suck it up, like you have.”

Leave it to Celida to get right to the heart of it. “I know, and he will. But…” She paused before continuing. “I really wanted to be married before I became a mother.” She’d never told Celida that before, but it was important to her.

“You can still get married before the baby comes.”

She shook her head. “No way. I’m not telling him we need to get married, the day after telling him we’re having an unplanned baby.” Zoe had been through a divorce too, but it had been much more amicable than Clay’s. The last thing she wanted to do was pressure him into marrying her simply because it was what she wanted.

“Hon, does he even know you want to get married?”

“He knows I want to get married
someday
, but I think that timeline is shorter for me than for him. I’ve been careful not to bring it up much, but we’ve talked about it a few times since we’ve been together. In passing, you know. Making plans for down the road.”

A pause. “I can’t believe you of all people are walking on eggshells around the man you want to spend the rest of your life with!” She sounded exasperated.

Zoe winced. “God, I know,” she murmured, disgusted with herself. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Seriously.” Where the hell was all this insecurity coming from? She prided herself on always speaking her mind, not taking any shit from anyone, and Clay knew very well just how blunt she could be. With this one topic as an exception, apparently.

“I don’t want him to propose just because I’m pregnant,” she continued. “I want him to want me for
me
. And you know how it is with the FBI significant others outside of our inner circle. They’re nice and all, but the married ones won’t fully accept me until we make it legal. Until then, I’m an outsider.” Not because the Bureau wives were being bitchy. It’s just how things were in the law enforcement world.

“I know, and that sucks. The legal reasons are one of the main reasons why Tuck and I decided not to wait any longer.”

Zoe could understand why. Their job as part of the HRT was dangerous, and life was unpredictable. “It’s not just legal reasons for me though. We’ve been together long enough that he should know whether he wants to marry me or not.” Dammit, now she was starting to get mad.