Wanting (5 page)

A smaller, red-brick building had been tacked on as though an afterthought. Its dark slate roof reached halfway up and sloped so the overhang rested a couple of feet above a single wooden door, light in shade, possibly from being bleached by the sun.

“Yes, come forward. Help me!”

A shiver wended up Adam’s spine, and his knees weakened. He broke out in a cold sweat. The voice had been
right there
.

Inside his head?

“You heard it that time, didn’t you? Tell me you fucking heard it, or it means I’m going mental.”

“Uh, no, I didn’t, and if you don’t pack it in, I’m going back to the cottage.” Dane shook his head and made to walk away.

Adam reached out and stopped him. “Just bear with me. There’s someone in that sodding building.” He pointed to the add-on. “Got to be. Otherwise, why did I hear some bloke speaking again?”

Dan lifted his hands then lowered them to slap against his thighs. “Yes, I’m sure there
is
someone in there. There’s also quite a few someones in the other bloody building as well. Maybe that’s where they came from, where they got undressed. Who the hell cares? Let’s just go back and see what they get up to.”

“Hurry. There isn’t much time.”

Adam ran to the door, his heart thudding. Now he was close he saw a padlock hanging off a rusty chain, the door open a smidgen. He pulled it back, seeing only the same murky gloom as outside. Everything looked a deep shade of grey, from the walls to the dirty floor. One hay bale, the huge cylindrical kind, sat on its circular arse in the corner, and Adam wondered how the hell something that size had fitted through the door. Then he spied a set of double doors—undoubtedly leading into the barn proper—which answered his question.

He took his phone out again and flashed the torch beam around the interior. Other than the hay bale and a wooden pole going from floor to ceiling in the centre, nothing else occupied the space.

“Quick,” Adam said. “Back round the front!”

He legged it, stuffing his phone away and skirting the corners of the building in double time. Out of breath at the front doors, he leaned one hand on the brick beside them and bent his head to get his breathing back to normal. His lungs burned, and his throat threatened to close. His mouth felt as if it were full of cotton wool, and damned if it wasn’t as though he could only take air in through his nostrils. Was he having some kind of panic attack?

“Christ,” Dane whispered beside him.

Adam looked up and into the barn, his face hot and limited oxygen going inside him. He managed to sniff in a huge helping of air, relieved as fuck to feel his lungs filling and the tension in his throat easing. His mouth went back to normal, the cotton-wool-feeling gone, and saliva pooled in his cheeks. He swallowed then blew out, relieved. Maybe the run had sent him momentarily off-kilter.

The men still hummed, still stood in a circle, but they no longer held hands. Another sat on his haunches in the centre, blindfolded with a strip of black fabric tied at the back in a knot. Adam had a clear view as the man was side-on. What looked like a sock had been stuffed in his mouth. His wrists were bound behind his back with mean-looking thin rope, the kind that chafed every time you moved. Dane had used it once, and Adam recalled how the hemp had burned. This man wasn’t one of the originals—he had hair—and something inside Adam said this guy had been in the lean-to—that this was the one who’d been calling out for help.

How the fuck did I hear him from here when he was out the back, though?

Adam frowned, unable to come up with an answer—one that at least made sense. If Dane hadn’t heard the bloke, that meant Adam’s senses had
really
heightened since the attack, and even he wasn’t buying that crap. No way could his hearing have become that much better, enabling him to hear someone talking from so far away. And the alternative reason didn’t bear thinking about.

He bunched his eyes closed for a few seconds to stave off the thought that he had some kind of bloody psychic shit going on here. A knock or two on the head didn’t bring on that kind of ability, did it?

Adam didn’t know, and he wasn’t going to entertain it.

Instead, he concentrated on what was happening in front of him. Were the standing men in a trance? They must be, because Adam couldn’t imagine he and Dane could stand here for much longer without being detected. He was surprised they hadn’t been spotted before now. Regardless, he studied them. They did appear to have glazed eyes, and that damned humming was going right through him.

“I know you’re out there. Please, stop them. I don’t want to be here!”

Adam started, the voice so loud this time he glanced at each man in turn to see if they’d heard it too. It appeared they hadn’t—they continued to hum and sway. He gave Dane a sidelong peek, and it seemed he hadn’t picked up on the plea either.

“What the hell is going on here?” Adam muttered.

“Looks like some gay fun to me, man.” Dane widened his eyes. “Reckon any bloke can join in?”

“Are you
serious?
” Adam asked.

“Well, yeah, but only if you’re up for it. Only once in a while, mind. And I wouldn’t want anyone touching you. Or me, come to that. But just watching? There’s no harm in that, surely. Might be fun.”

“Fun?” Adam didn’t trust himself to say anything more. His mind swirled with the idea that he wasn’t enough for Dane, that even if he tried that submissive thing and succeeded, he still wouldn’t be enough. Since when had Dane been a voyeur? What else didn’t Adam know about him?

“Aww, come on. Relax!” Dane said. “You’ve got to admit you’re curious as to what they’re going to do next.”

“Yes, but—”

“There you go, then. Watching doesn’t cause any harm. It’s like porn. Doesn’t mean I love you any less, does it?”

“No, I s’pose you’re right…”

They lapsed into silence, both staring ahead.

The main bald man stepped forward, raising his arms as though in supplication. He was hairless all over, which gave him an alien vibe. Adam frowned as he studied him, squinting to see if the man had any eyebrows. He did, thick black slashes that appeared out of place on the otherwise sleek and shiny body. He placed his hands on the bound guy’s head, massaging with his fingertips. Humming from the outer circle grew louder, until Adam swore it reverberated. The man pushed his hips out, his soft cock inches from the bound man’s face.

Adam’s emotions were out of whack—so much so he felt sick. If he hadn’t heard that voice, he knew he’d be as eager as Dane to watch the proceedings, to see what some people did on a Saturday night out in the wilds. But although he was fascinated by this odd display, the fear in that voice meant compassion, sorrow and the urgency to help dallied on the fringes of his mind. But how could he race in there based on only himself hearing the voice? And what if this was some magic ritual, where interruptions made bad things happen?

The guy with hair didn’t appear to be afraid. He breathed normally through his nose—and surely, if he was freaked out and thought someone was about to hurt him, he’d be snorting air out and sniffing it in like no one’s business, wouldn’t he? His body was relaxed, no tense muscles on display, and Adam realised his mind had been playing tricks on him.

Abruptly, the humming stopped, yet the sound rang on in Adam’s ears as residual fuzz, albeit quieter. The silenced men remained in place, and Adam stared at each one in turn, wondering if Dane felt the same sense of otherworldliness he was experiencing. It was like time had stilled, the tableau etched on canvas, just something they were appreciating in an art gallery. Everything was so unmoving—those in the barn, Dane, himself, even the damn air.

The men’s ages ranged from early twenties to forties, Adam guessed. They were an odd bunch, people he wouldn’t have put together if he’d been told to select folks who gathered for a sexual whatever-the-fuck this was. But then again, who knew what went on in people’s heads? Who knew whether behind, say, the youthful face of that man there, lurked the mind of someone who thought nothing of humming in the nude with a bunch of other hummers?

It boggled his mind.

The main bald guy raised one hand to the side, and another man stepped from his position and into the circle, handing him a whip. Toy in hand, he moved to stand behind the kneeling man and cracked a hurtful blow across his spine. The lash gave a slashing sound as it connected, and Adam jolted as though he’d felt the pain himself. The struck man did nothing much but bow his back and whimper. Adam had been whipped on his arse, and that had stung pleasantly, but he imagined this strike wasn’t anything pleasurable at all. It had been given to cause pain.

Adam glanced at Dane, who frowned, his mouth a small circle of
ouch.

“I think we ought to go,” Adam whispered, uncomfortable as another lash flailed against the man’s back. “This is making me feel weird.”

“Is that what you call it?” Dane looked across at Adam’s crotch and smiled.

“No, I’m serious. This doesn’t feel right.”

“I know what you mean, but what are the odds of stumbling on something like this, eh? I knew shit like this went on, but to actually watch it? Damn, never thought to see the day. And you want to
go?
”

“Yes.”

“Please, help. Don’t leave me
.”

“No. I’ve changed my mind. I’ll stay.”

Adam stared at the kneeling man, hoping for some sign it was him who had spoken, but he saw nothing but the sight of him being whipped again and seeming to enjoy it.

“If I call out, if I ask them to stop, they said they’d go after my family…”

“What the fuck?” Adam muttered.

This had just got a whole lot more serious.

He had the sudden urge to scream. Confusion swarmed him, making him lightheaded, and nausea spread through his chest. He swallowed bile, desperate for a drink as his mouth dried out. Fear joined the gathering inside him, and he had a massive instinct to run—run as far away as he could and hope he never remembered this shit again. His eyes misted, and he blinked several times to clear them. Once he had, he saw a very different scene from the last one.

The totally hairless guy had stepped back to allow another man a chance at whipping. He only struck once then handed the whip to the next man. It all happened so fast, and by the time Adam could process it properly, the whip had been given to everyone and was now back with the main man. Red welts, raised and angry-looking, marred the kneeler’s back. He was fully hunched over now, forehead touching the floor, but his torso bobbed, as though he was silently crying.

“Oh, God. Oh, God, please let this be over soon. It hurts. Jesus Christ, it fucking hurts!”

Adam blinked again, wishing that voice would stop, and in the split second it took to do that, the circle of men had converged on the kneeler, hauling him to his feet. They appeared as a swarm of nakedness, a mass of pink flesh, some cocks hardening at skin-on-skin contact, or maybe they’d got excited at what they’d been doing to that poor man. Adam realised he
was
perhaps just watching an orgy. That had to be what it was, right?

Hands were everywhere, on arses, backs, thighs and cocks. To his shame, Adam’s dick stiffened, and he squirmed. It wasn’t right to get turned on like this, but he couldn’t stop himself. The sight of all those bodies, those cocks… He breathed heavily.

“Getting to you too?” Dane whispered.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t seem right to get off on this kind of shit.”

“Why not? It’s natural when you see naked bodies like that.”

“But the whipping—”

“I know. A bit harsh, but he wasn’t complaining.”

“Not on the outside, no.”
Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.

“What do you mean?”

“He spoke again. I heard it.”

Dane gave him a sceptical look and sighed. “Now come on…”

“I did, I fucking
heard
him. He said—”

“All right, what did he say? Go on, tell me.”

Dane was being a sarcastic arsehole again, and Adam could understand why—it wasn’t every day your other half claimed to hear voices—but he couldn’t help but feel a twist of hurt that Dane was mocking him. Okay, it was a hard thing to accept, but they’d been together a long time and Adam expected at least a little…what? What
did
he expect? Belief? Would he believe Dane if he came out with the same thing?

He wasn’t sure. Probably not.

Adam took a deep breath. “He said if he didn’t let them do what they wanted they’d hurt his family.”

Dane almost laughed too loudly. “Really? So this is some kind of against-his-will thing?” He stared inside the barn again. “Doesn’t look against his will to me.”

Adam took in the scene. Men had coupled off, fondling and kissing, tight fists around straining cocks, massaging languidly. The whipped guy stood in the centre and accepted kisses from the main man, opening his mouth to invite tongue. He groaned, thrusting his hips out until their dicks met.

No, it didn’t look against his will at all.

Adam pressed a hand to his erection, guilt nipping at him that he was getting turned on by people other than Dane. They’d watched porn plenty of times, but that was different. This…this was the real deal, and the participants didn’t have a clue he and Dane were perving.

“Fuck, I need to get out of here,” he whispered, gaze unmoving from the scene. As much as he felt this was wrong and that he shouldn’t be here, he wanted to stay.

Fucked up much?

“No, come with me.”

Dane gripped Adam’s wrist and led him to the rear of the barn, Adam stumbling on the uneven ground. His thoughts swirled—
Is this right or wrong?
—and he cursed as the images replayed in his mind. It was natural, he knew that, but still…

Adam followed Dane into the lean-to, having a good idea what was about to happen. Dane was hot for it—he had that air about him—and despite Adam’s discomfort, he knew he’d go along with the fucking. His heartbeat escalated, his cock strained against the inside of his jeans, and he needed Dane’s tongue in his mouth.