Was it Good for You Too? (18 page)

He turned his head in the direction of the pitter patter of footfall above them. While taking in the beautiful sound, Tailan blurted, “You made your choice.” Delvin snapped his head in her direction as she continued. “I wasn't going to complicate your life. That's not who I am. You already had a deal with the devil, and she destroyed us with that pregnancy card she played.” She lowered her gaze to the hardwood floor. “I'm not her, never will be. I did what I thought was best for me and my child.”

“Did you think having Devi grow up without her father was best?” Delvin snapped back and charged forward.

“Better than having a father who could be taken away on a whim. You know that wench had you on lock,” Tailan tossed back.

Delvin came up short at the mention of those bitter but true words.

“I want to take her to see my mother,” he insisted.

Amir waved off the idea. “Absolutely not!”

“Mama's not well, Tai,” Delvin said. “She needs to see her grandchild. Can you at least give me that opportunity?”

“You cannot take our daughter anywhere.” Amir pushed between the two of them.

“
My
daughter,” Delvin corrected with a pointed look at Tailan.

Tailan shot a look to Delvin, then her husband. She eased out of their reach. “Amir, she needs this, especially with the way your family treats her lately. I have to allow them time together.”

“But why now?” Amir asked. “He does not live here. He might take her away.”

Tailan's eyebrow shot up. “Delvin is a lot of things. But the one thing he is not is stupid. I'll be with her.”

Delvin nearly smiled, recognizing that hubby was treading on choppy waters.

“Are you crazy?” Amir asked, gripping her shoulders and turning her to face him.

Delvin readied to yank the guy back when Tailan lifted her hand in warning. “I'm doing what's best for my daughter,” she emphasized.

Amir's hands tightened. “Best would mean doing as your husband asks.”

Tailan pushed his hands off, saying, “Anna Germaine is my family too. We're going.” She turned from him and called to the girls.

Devi hurried down the stairs and into Delvin's waiting arms. Lightning quick, he picked her up.

“Come on, baby.” Tailan extended her hand to Neena.

“She cannot go with you,” Amir commanded, blocking his daughter's way.

Delvin knew enough about feuding parents to know this was about to get ugly. He stretched out his hand to Neena, and she scrambled out from behind her father and came to him. He picked her up in his other arm, then he stepped back to give the adults a bit of space as Tailan faced off with Amir.

“Don't you
ever
tell me what I can or cannot do with my children,” she snarled. “I'm not separating my daughters.”

“She's not—”

“Stop right there!” Tailan jabbed him in the chest with her finger. Her tone sent chills down Delvin's spine. Dear Lord, Tailan was a whirlwind of fierce protective instincts, and he wanted to fall to his knees and worship her.

Tailan crowded Amir and whispered through gritted teeth, “If you were about to fix your mouth to say Neena's not mine, I swear, I'll walk out that door and never look back.”

She flipped him a look filled with rage. “I've raised that child since she was one month old. She. Is.
My
. Daughter!
Mine!
”

“Well, I could say the same about Devi.”

Tailan lowered her voice to steady herself. “I will not treat your daughter in the same callous manner your family treats me and Devi. If you can't understand that, then there's more wrong with our marriage than either one of us can fix.”

Amir withered under her hard glare but managed to say, “You come home tonight. With my daughters. That is fair to ask, is it not?”

She turned from him, then picked up her purse before saying, “I'll be in this house,” she opened the door. “In your bed, since that's what concerns you the most.” She took Neena from Delvin's arms and made tracks to the front door.

Amir caught up to them and said to Delvin. “I've had to fight you in her memories for the past seven years. I don't relish having to fight your physical presence.”

“There won't be a fight,” Delvin replied, halting in his efforts to follow Tailan. “Tai's a grown woman who can make her own choices.” He gave Amir a suggestive smile as he watched her approach the limo, and the driver opened the door. “You just might not like what she chooses.”

“True,” Amir said, giving him a sly smile in return. “But since she is my wife, neither will you.”

Chapter 21

During the ride over to the southwest area of Chicago, the girls bounced from one side of the limo to the other, counting the cars that were painted with their favorite colors. Their excitement eased some of the rising tension between Tailan and Delvin.

However, as the newness of the scenery out the window wore off and the girls settled down, Tailan noticed the vein throbbing at Delvin's temple. He was champing at the bit for a showdown. But she had to give him credit. The man had handled learning about his daughter better than she ever dreamed.

When Devi had realized one day that Amir's family treated her differently than they treated Neena, Tailan had told Devi who her biological father was. Showed her pictures and videos that had been stashed away. She did this in spite of Amir's wishes. She also told her daughter that Delvin loved her, and that he was traveling the country and the world. At the time, that was enough for Devi, but Tailan always knew there would come a time when she would demand to see Delvin. Then, Tailan would be forced to deal with choices that were made in what she thought was in the best interest of peace.

Neena crawled into Tailan's lap, and Devi squirmed into Delvin's, and before they reached the next exit ramp, both of them were out cold. As their even breathing filled the enclosed space, Delvin said, “She's so beautiful.” He looked lovingly at Neena. “They both are.”

“Thank you,” she said, keeping her eyes on anything but him.

Delvin rubbed his hand along Devi's sleeping back, and she nestled deeper into his chest.

“So much is running through my mind right now,” he admitted, keeping his tone low. “I have a daughter, two in fact. The woman I have loved since I was a kid, blessed me with one of them. And to know that I've ached for her all these years; only to discover that she's married to a man she does not love.”

Tailan turned her gaze directly to him. “That's not true.”

“I know what I heard, Tai,” he countered.

The limo slowed as it maneuvered to exit the expressway.

“I love Amir,” Tailan stated and turned away.

“And you want me,” Delvin shot back.

No argument there.

“That might be true, but I'm not free to entertain that want,” Tailan confessed as she eased Neena higher up on her chest and caressed her sleeping face.

“Why's that?” he asked, reaching out to take her hand. “He's had how many women? Four? Where does that put you?”

Tailan pulled away from him and looked out the window.

“There are only four burners on a stove. Evidently, he likes keeping you in the oven.”

Tailan elbowed him in the side. “Delvin, don't say something that will make me hate you. Despite what you heard or what you might think, I love my husband … in my own way. And he loves me.”

Delvin leaned over and brushed his lips near her ear. “But you love me more.”

Her head whipped to him. “I didn't say that.”

Their lips were so close. Their breath mingled between them.

Delvin dared to brush his mouth across hers. “You will,” he said and sat back.

She shrugged and stroked a hand on Neena's back. “It doesn't matter.”

“It matters to me,” he said. “It will matter to our daughter.”

“I'm not leaving him.”

Delvin tossed her a cold, determined glaze. “Then we have a problem.”

“No,
you
have a problem,” she gritted. “Amir was there for me when I wasn't even a speck on your radar. He didn't demand I give him a thing, which was quite a change for me after being with you for so long.”

Delvin's face flushed stinging red. “I handled our relationship poorly. I'll own that.”

The limo exited the expressway and headed west. As the traffic thickened, Tailan breathed deeply, trying to control her emotions.

Suddenly his finger slid knowingly down her arm.

She flinched as he said, “I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I want you back. All of you. I have no interest in sharing you with another man.”

“I've heard enough,” Tailan said, waving him off. “Your child deserves to have you in her life, but let's get something very clear—there's no room for
you
in
my
life. Except as my lover.”

Delvin pulled his sleeping daughter closer. Instinctively she wrapped her little arms about his neck. The action chipped away at Tailan's straining resolve. She sighed once, twice, and said, “I apologize for not telling you about Devi. I'm saying it once, and I mean it, but there's no way that I'm giving up Amir just because your head is finally in the right place.”

For the rest of the trip, silence expanded between them, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

They arrived at the Germaine's home on a tree-lined block in Beverly. The two-level brick home extended the full length of a half block. The garden that surrounded the premises, which popped with an array of colors and textures that were perfect for summer, had Anna Germaine's touch all over it.

“They still have those bowling lanes in the basement?” Tailan asked, keeping her focus on the yellow brick building.

“Yep. And I can still whip your butt by several pins.”

“See, why did you have to go there?” she said, offering him the first authentic smile he'd seen from her in a long while.

Delvin opened the front door and ushered Tailan and the girls inside a marbled foyer.

“Mommy?” a little one piped up.

Tailan knew from her own warped childhood and the horrors that she had witnessed, that small children were keenly perceptive. Her little girls instantly sensed the heaviness of the visit.

“It's all right, Neena,” she soothed.

Delvin must have sensed the wariness of the girls too. He took them gently by the hand. “Hey, I have a surprise for the two of you.” He stooped to their level. “How would you two like to see the play room?”

“Yes!” the girls chorused, nodding emphatically.

He led them to the den and situated them among his old toys, games, and books. A few minutes later he stiffly escorted Tailan to his mother.

The moment Tailan stood at the threshold, Anna sat up in bed and stared openly at her. Soon her hand went out as though reaching across time and distance to bring Tailan closer.

Delvin lifted Tailan's limp hand to his lips, whispering, “I'll give you two some time alone.”

Tailan nodded and was across the room in the time it took to breathe. She had loved this woman, and when she could no longer see her, she had grieved for her like the mother she had lost too soon. Tears flooded her eyes to the point she could barely see. Anna Germaine had helped bring Tailan back to a place where she could trust people. Delvin brought her to a place where she could love people.

“Hello,” Tailan whispered.

Anna grasped her hands, and in that moment, Tailan was punched with the impact of just how fragile the woman's hold on life really was.

“I've missed you so, so much,” Anna said softly.

Tailan's tears blocked her speech. This nurturing maternal soul was still helping her. Those six words meant something she never imagined she needed. They said,
I forgive you
.

“Just because you were no longer with my son, that didn't mean that
we
stopped being your family. I think that hurt the most. You didn't come to me—me and Delvin Senior—to talk about things.” She placed a hand on the side of Tailan's tear-soaked face. “Things might've turned out a lot differently if you had, my sweet baby.”

Tailan absorbed the emotional blow those words brought on. “I'm sorry. I … I don't have any excuse,” Tailan cried. “I was heartbroken. I couldn't think straight. I stopped trusting.” She shook her head, hating the answer she offered. “I have no excuse,” she repeated. “I'm so, so sorry.”

Anna pulled her closer, and at the moment, Tailan wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in the woman's comforting embrace. She crawled into bed with Anna and let the woman's presence, her ever-ready arms, ease away the tension, pain, and frustration. Her tears soaked Anna's pajamas as she settled her head over the woman's chest and listened to her faint but steady heartbeat.

Tailan didn't know how much time had ticked by. Being with Anna again, it felt as if the whole world had paused. Anna smelled the same—a hint of floral and citrus. They spoke a few times, but mostly they spent their cocooned closeness in understanding silence.

A knock on the door forced Tailan from the bed. She kissed Anna's forehead and held her hand as she said, “Come in.”

Delvin entered the room with her daughters. She felt a smile bloom across her face as she watched Anna's reaction when Delvin said, “Mom, I have someone I want you to meet.”

Neena ran to Tailan, but Devi remained with Delvin, holding his hand.

“Daddy says you're our grandmother,” Devi announced proudly.

Anna gasped, sat up in the bed, and covered her chest with a trembling hand. She looked to Tailan, to Delvin and then to Devi and cried, “Oh my Lord! She looks just like you—both of you. What a blessing this is.”

Her smile was so bright, Tailan had to brush back more tears.

* * *

Neena and Devi were sitting on each side of
Grandma,
giving an up to the minute breakdown of their day, their lives, what they learned in school, what their names meant in their native languages.