Was it Good for You Too? (27 page)

The slow, rhythmic circles Uma made along his palm had always soothed him in his youth. This time, it made him hone in on her beautiful face, which was lined with the strain of having to act as an intermediary for her son and her husband for years.

“You have never seemed happy,” Amir admitted.

“Happiness had nothing to do with it,” she replied, the sadness reaching her eyes. “Arranged marriages kept families together, and wealth and prosperity in our communities. Marriages endured because they came with absolute certainties—the same caste, religion, and goals. It was built that way into our culture to support these things. There was no walking away.”

“But what about love?” he asked with a look in Tailan's direction.

“We learned to love as best we could,” Uma confessed. She fidgeted with the scarf draped around her neck before getting to her feet. “Once, I shared happiness with someone—true, real love with someone.”

Tailan stroked a hand over his.

Amir clasped it, then peered at his mother, waiting.

“Your father,” she whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. “Your sister's father.”

Amir glanced over to Tailan. Her look mirrored his—they were both stunned. Obviously she didn't mean Adesh.

Uma lowered to her knees before her son. She took his hand, then Tailan's hand and shared, “Kamal, my husband's brother. You are his child. Adesh, the man who raised you, never forgave me.” She patted the tears from her cheeks and whispered, “I wanted to marry Kamal. But Adesh was so angry that we had fallen in love, he refused to allow our parents to make the exception.”

Amir squeezed his mother's hand tightly, giving her his strength to go on. So much about his mother was surfacing into the light.

“I never stopped loving Kamal,” Uma rushed on to say. “Days after you were born, I ran away. But I was forced to return to Adesh because I had no place to go, no money to speak of. No way to care for you.” Now her tears ran freely. “The second time I ran away, Kamal and I were together, but we were found.”

This time it was Tailan who gently eased to the floor and offered comfort to a woman who had made her entire married life to Amir a living nightmare. She pulled Uma into a comforting embrace as Amir held onto her hand.

Uma took the comfort and choked out, “They killed him—right before my eyes.” Her bloodshot eyes sought out Amir's. “They killed Kamal in such an inhumane way. I still have nightmares.” Uma shivered. “Adesh let me live. Told them that living with Kamal's death on my head would be punishment enough. And he was right. There is not a day that passes that I do not think of him.”

She nodded over to Tailan, whose eyes were glazed with tears.

“But I was pregnant again,” Uma said with a wan smile. “I knew who had fathered my child. I would have two living reminders of my love, and Adesh could not kill them—as much as he wanted to. He had no heirs—no children. He could not kill you or Dhara because telling everyone that his brother had fathered my children would have been an admission that he was—” she looked over to Tailan, searching for the phrase. Then she blinked as a light bulb lit over her head. “Ah, yes. How do you Americans say—
shooting blanks
.”

Amir nearly laughed. His mother never struck him as a humorous person. She must really resent Adesh.

“But when Dhara went to be with the man she loved, instead of staying with the man she had married, it was all Adesh needed to agree with the Sengupta family that my baby needed to be killed.” She pressed a hand to his shoulder. “He has been angry with you ever since you told him you would break from us. Now he has found a way to make you pay. I will not let him have you!” She looked at Tailan, but said to Amir, “Fulfill the obligation and keep your lady love. I have suffered all these years to keep you safe—alive. I will not fail now. You are all I have left of my beloved Kamal.” She cupped his face in her hands. “Please humor an old woman.”

She turned to Tailan and gathered her hands. “I have shared my secrets with you. And I know you both will keep them.” She caressed Tailan's face. “I wanted you to know that I understand. I know what love is, but I do not wish that love to destroy him or you.”

Tailan reached out a hand to wipe away the woman's tears. Uma's smile was faltering, but it was there nonetheless. The first kindness and understanding between the two women Amir loved most.

“All right,” Amir said. “I need to talk things over with Tailan first.”

“But I thought it was settled,” Uma said, frowning at him as she stroked a nervous hand over the silk scarf.

“Mama, it is settled in your mind. But this affects her more than anyone, and she has not said much. I need to hear from my wife.”

He extended his hand for her to take, then ushered her toward the kitchen where they would have a moderate amount of privacy.

“Do you truly understand what this means?”

Tailan pressed a hand to his face. “It means you must divorce me to legally become Roshni's husband and fulfill your family's obligation.” She gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. “You have my blessing,”

Amir was instantly suspicious. “Are you just saying that because—”

“This has nothing to do with him,” Tailan emphasized, her gaze narrowing on him.

“This has
everything
to do with him,” he countered. “It has taken so long for you to heal from what he did. It has taken my own mistakes to completely appreciate you and strengthen what we have. I love you. I will not see you hurt by Delvin because my family is forcing my hand. I would rather die first.”

She looked away.

“Your agreement has come too swift. You are not fighting for us as much as you have fought for everything else.” He leaned in to whisper. “Is your concession just about my safety? Your safety?” Amir queried. “As much as you love me, you cannot deny that Delvin still sits right here.” He placed his hand over her heart. “The only reason you still feel anything for me is because we are connected through marriage.”

Tailan stepped back. “That's not true! I love you so much I ache with it.” She pressed her back against the stainless steel fridge. “But, I will not be the reason your mother loses another child. I will not be the reason Neena loses another parent. I will not let you stand here and tell me how
I
feel about you. That my love for you isn't enough. If you ever say something like that again, I will—”

Amir blanched at the thought that she would probably slap him.

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Amir pressed his forehead to hers. “If Delvin walked through the door, and you were free of all attachments—
of me
—would you deny him?”

Tailan's lips pressed into a strained thin line.

Amir only smiled.

“But the most important thing is, I would never leave you for him,” Tailan stated. “I love you. I love him—but I'd never choose him over you.”

“So you say.” Amir kissed her forehead. “Thank you.”

“For what?” she sniffled as her tears started to fall.

“For giving me the happiest seven years of my life. For honoring me with the privilege of loving you and being loved by you.”

“Amir—”

He silenced her with a full kiss on the lips. “I will not put you second again. Taking a wife—legally—means that you are seen as second—I will not allow that. I am not so selfish that I cannot set you free.” He extended his hand to her. “Come, let us tell my mother the news.”

When his mother left their home to tell Adesh of the outcome, Amir extended his hand to Tailan. “Let us say our final goodbye,” he whispered.

Tailan nodded, and he led her into their bedroom. She unbuttoned his shirt as he removed her blouse.

Their caresses, exploration, and kisses were memorable. The love they made this night would be all they had.

For this one night, they were all that the other would ever need.

Chapter 33

Delvin was snatched from a sound sleep with a call from Amir.

“Is Tailan with you at the moment?”

“No,” he replied, with a quick glance at the clock on his night stand. “I would think that at this time of night your wife would be with you.”

“She has not told you?”

Delvin sighed, turning over in his bed. “Amir, it's three in the morning. I don't have time for this.”

“I had thought that she had come to you with the news. We are divorcing.”

Delvin shot up in the bed. “When did this happen?”

“Yesterday.”

“And you have no idea where she is?” Delvin swung his legs over the side of the bed and was at the closet in seconds, pulling out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

“There is only one place I could think for her to go. I have been with my family, and when I returned, I had a feeling that something was wrong,” he confessed. “I only called because that feeling has become so strong that I could not sleep. I apologize for disturbing you.”

“She's not here, and what's worrying me is that there's an anxiousness in your voice that's putting me on edge.”

“Perceptive,” Amir countered. “I have reason to worry for her safety.”

Amir went on to fill Delvin in on what had transpired with his family and ended with, “We should call the police.”

“Give me a minute,” Delvin replied, snatching his wallet and keys from the night stand. “I have a feeling I know where she might be.”

“I will wait to hear from you.”

Delvin disconnected the call and first drove to his parents' place, but he didn't find her there. He called her numerous times as he drove, but went to voicemail each time. He checked the Nelson Entertainment Group offices but found she wasn't there either.

When American Express alerted him that a strange charge had hit his card, he knew that she was safe. He sent a text to Amir letting him know.

Delvin peeled out, tore up Lake Shore Drive, and was downtown in half the time it would normally take. She had checked into the same hotel, the same suite the three of them had shared that fateful night.

Since the room was charged to his name, the manager gave him a key. He entered to find Tailan's broken frame curled up in a sofa in the suite's elegant living room. Just by looking at her and remembering the concern in Amir's voice, Delvin could tell that Amir and Tailan's separation was not of their own accord.

Delvin had kept his word to Tailan—he had not and would not touch her sexually while she was still married to her husband. The most he would do when she came to him was cuddle or hold her, but sex was off limits. He would not cross that line again, no matter how much he or she wanted.

And if she was available to him now, regardless of what Amir had introduced into their love lives—the polyamory—Delvin would not make that same concession for Tailan. Children learned from what they watched. And he wouldn't be one that would set an example for his daughters that might lead them to believe they would not be enough for the men they choose. He had learned that lesson the hard way. He couldn't set the example for his son that one woman could not be enough.

Polyamorous marriages may have worked to some degree for some people, but in Delvin Germaine's household, he would establish that relationships were one man, one woman. This man, and Tailan as his woman. If she could not embrace that concept, then they would not make it a second time.

He was stunned with a sickening truth—something that Amir had warned him about the first day they had met. As Amir's wife, Delvin would not like the choices she would make. He gasped at the stark realization of how true that became. Delvin literally felt those words and the ugly numbness that slithered through his entire body. Her choice? To love both of them the best way she knew how. Her choice? Not to say that either one of them was greater than the other. She felt a deep love for Delvin, but stayed in marriage to Amir because she loved him too.

He stepped forward into the room, startling her as he gathered her into his arms.

* * *

Tears overwhelmed Tailan, and they soaked Delvin's shirt as they fell. She was an emotional mess. Her life was spiraling out of control once again.

It was horribly unfair to lean on Delvin in this way, but she loved Amir as deeply as she was in love with Delvin. Thinking she should and could have both men was one of the worst mistakes she'd made in her life. Her actions had brought Amir's family down on them. If she had been honest with Delvin on the first day of the tour—he would never have kissed her the way he did. His family would not have had the ammunition to separate them. Then the decisions she had made since had put a wedge between Delvin and herself that she couldn't seem to bridge.

To her heart it didn't matter. She couldn't go to Delvin as Amir had encouraged her to do. It would not be fair to him. These two men where her Alpha and Omega—her beginning and end. How could she possibly go on without one or the other?

“Tailan,” Delvin whispered, brushing a wayward strand of hair from her face. “I have no love for Amir, but the way you're falling apart is freaking me out,” he admitted. His lips caressed her forehead. He kneaded her lower back, trying to soothe her.

“How could they do this?” she sniffled, wiping away tears with the back of a trembling hand. “It's my pain. Let me feel it; let me work through it. We were a family. I can't just turn that off.”

She pulled from his sheltering arms and said, “This isn't fair to you. That's why I'm here, trying to sort everything out on my own. I didn't run to you, even though I knew you wouldn't turn me away. I created this mess, and I have to deal with it.”

“You don't have to deal with it alone,” he offered.

Tailan placed a hand on his cheek. “Yes. I do.”

She retreated to the master bedroom.

He scrubbed his face in frustration. The roles had reversed. The ramifications of that were humiliating. For so long, Delvin only saw what he wanted—Tailan. Now he had to face that having her meant that going forward,
he
would be the one fighting the ghost of Amir in her heart.