We Are All Strangers (12 page)

“As they once were?” I pressed the palm of my left hand over my right shoulder blade, where Gwen had inserted the final tracking device. It was sore, and it throbbed with every movement, but it was nowhere near as painful as the ache in my chest; as the pain of knowing that I was the reason Kieran had to suffer.

“Not long ago, this compound was nothing more than a grave for the living.” Gwen lay the tube down on the metal table and leaned back, against the brick wall. “We used to live in fear, of what would happen to us, of what we’d return to, or as, when our time at the compound was up.”

Matron Elizabeth nodded. “But after some time, the Council members stopped visiting, and we realized that, as long as our trackers were activated, no one bothered to see what was taking place within the compounds, because to them, we were all nothing more than criminals.”

“What happens if they return?” I asked, leaning forward in the metal chair, my elbow pressing into my knee. “Won’t they seek punishment for all of us?”

“Maybe they’ll return, maybe they won’t,” Gwen shrugged. “All I know is that as long as I hold on to that feeling of love – that feeling of pure happiness, that rush of joy – then I’ll be okay because in the end, the only thing that matters is that we had the chance to love and that we held onto that feeling until the very end.”

I replayed Gwen’s words in my mind, allowing them each to sink in.

If they came for us, I was sure that my last thought would be of Kieran; of the time we spent together in the field; of times when joy still existed in my world.

Kieran
. I only hoped that love would be enough to see him through the pain.

Chapter Four

Matron Elizabeth led me down a small tunnel that led to the buildings lining Compound One. Young girls, dressed in torn cotton dresses, stared at me as I followed behind her. Their eyes were brimming with curiosity, studying my every movement; but there was something off about these girls. One of the girls, a young girl that could not be any older than eighteen stepped forward. Her blond locks hung loosely around her face, highlighting her dirt covered skin and electrifying blue eyes. The color was so rich and vivid that I nearly froze in place, unsure of how to react.

Okay, so maybe not everything here was that far off from what we’d been told back at home because I was fairly certain eyes were not supposed to look like that. It was like staring into a blue orb of light. It was unnatural. It was terrifying.

Kind of like us.

Matron Elizabeth spun around, looked between me and the girl and grabbed a hold of my wrist. “Kate, I believe you have someplace else to be,” she said, her voice commanding.

Without waiting for an answer, Matron Elizabeth spun on her heels, pulling me behind her as she led me to a door marked
171
. She tapped on the battered wood door softly and waited with her hands folded at her waist. “You will be boarding with Roslyn during your time at Compound One.”

As we waited for someone to answer the door, I found myself growing more curious about the girls that we had seen on our way here. Kate’s eyes had burned themselves into my memory, begging me to seek out answers that I knew Matron Elizabeth would probably withhold from me.

“Kate – her eyes,” I said, stumbling over my words. “Something was wrong with her eyes.”

“That is of no concern to you right now, Ms. Mulligan,” she said, effectively ending the conversation, but failing to ease my worries.

I wasn’t blind.

I knew that there was something going on.

I knew that whatever was taking place within Compound One was to be kept quiet. But I needed to know what lay ahead of me, and what time would bring during my time here.

Matron Elizabeth knocked again, this time much heavier than before. “Where is that girl?” she mumbled, spinning around, her eyes squinted, fighting back against the morning sun.

“I’m sorry, Matron,” a young girls voice called from behind us. “I just went to update my meal card.”

I turned around to face the girl, curious to know what she looked like, and yet terrified that she may look like the others. She didn’t.

Her eyes, which were a soft shade of brown, reminded me of my mother’s. They were warm and welcoming, a far cry from Kate’s electrifying stare. Her black hair fell in ringlets around her oval shaped face. “Hello,” she spoke softly. “I’m Roslyn.”

She extended her hand out to me, a soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

“Ridley,” I said, taking what felt like whatever to answer. “Ridley Mulligan.”

I grabbed a hold of her hand, shuddering at the feel of calluses on her palm, and the thought of how they got there. “You will find a bag inside with the items provided by the Council for you, Ms. Mulligan. If you need anything else, please let Roslyn know.”

And with that, Matron Elizabeth was on her way back to the front of the compound, leaving me to drown in awkward silence with Roslyn, a girl I’d only met moments before.

I glanced around at the compound, taking in the worn-down buildings and overgrown vines. It was nothing like home, and I had to accept that. I had to accept that this was my life now.

A life without Kieran.

A life without a family.

A life that probably would destroy me.

“How much do you know?” She asked, breaking the silence, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Roslyn kept her eyes focused on the dirt ground, choosing to avoid any sort of eye contact with me.

“Not very much,” I said, honestly, my voice breaking with frustration.

She stepped forward, her fingers wrapping around the silver doorknob. “Come along then.”

The door opened to reveal a dimly lit room with a small, oval shaped table and a worn-out couch. There were no personal artifacts lining the inside of the room; nothing to show that this was a home. It looked like nothing other than a place to seek shelter from the blistering sun, to hide away from the Council during the times that they bothered to check in on the compounds.

“How long have you been here?” I asked as I stepped inside.

Roslyn moved in behind me, closing the door. “A year as of yesterday.”

“How long do you have left?” My eyes trailed over the room, taking in every crack that lined the walls.

“I have a year left,” she whispered. “That is assuming that the Council doesn’t return.”

I knew how powerful the Council was and just how terrifying they could be. There wasn’t a sane person that would stand up to them for fear of dying. Yet, somehow or another, the people of Compound One had managed to scare the Council away.

“What happened?” I asked, moving to sit down on the battered sofa.

“Have you ever heard of memory erasing?” Roslyn took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, her hands folded in her lap and her curly hair hiding her face from view.

I nodded. “What about it?”

“Well, as you know, the compounds have existed for some time now. They are meant to serve as punishment for those that don’t follow the Caiden Act.” She paused, pressing her finger to her chin as if debating how to phrase what she wanted to say next. “The problem was that the compounds weren’t working as they’d hoped. They were designed to rehabilitate criminals, to make them understand their wrongs.”

But that wasn’t the case. I knew that. I’d seen the emptiness in the eyes of those sent back to Caiden after time in the compounds. There was a loss of hope, of caring, of love. Of being. They existed but inside, there was nothing left.

“It didn’t work,” I finally mustered.

“No,” Roslyn agreed. “The others in Caiden were beginning to see it, too. They grew frantic with worry that crime would overtake their home; that they’d lose their children to the compounds. So, to help ease the worry, the Council set in motion a new plan.”

She turned to face me, a small smile springing upon her lips. “They thought that the key was rewiring our minds; that reworking our memories would fix things. And I suppose that it worked for a while, though with side effects – as evident by most of the girls within the compound – until Jolene.”

Well, that explains the freakish eyes
, I thought.

“Who is Jolene?” I pulled my legs up, resting my chin atop my knees. “And what happened to her?”

“Jolene Murphy, the daughter of Council member Joseph Murphy,” she paused to allow the shock to sink in. A Council member’s daughter. “They’d found her near the fields with another girl. She was sentenced to ten years within the compounds shortly after. But when they went to perform the memory cleanse, she fought back. Instead of erasing her memories, they had made them stronger.”

“I don’t get it,” I said, truly confused with what this had to do with the Council leaving.

“As Jolene’s memories grew stronger, so did her anger and her unpredictability. She killed at least five staff members sent here by the Council, which is why they closed down the memory centers temporarily.”

“Temporarily?” I asked.

“Yes.” Roslyn pressed her hand to her forehead. “They should be back any day now.”

Chapter Five

When I’d received my sentencing from the Council, I knew that my life was essentially over. Not just because of Kieran but also because I’d heard how often people lost themselves in the compound – heck, I’d seen it – how they became so paralyzed with fear that once they were released back to Caiden, they weren’t sure how to act.

I knew that there was a chance that could be me, and now I knew there was more of a possibility that could be the case.

With the Council promising a return, I knew that it was only a matter of time, and I wasn’t sure whether I was more terrified or angry.

Terrified that I’d lose myself.

Terrified that I’d lose my memories of Kieran.

Terrified that I’d forget the feeling of love.

And angry because, to them, they hadn’t taken enough from me yet – they had to take away the only thing I had left to hold onto.

My mind, my memories, they belonged to me. They were the only way I’d get through the next two years. Without them – without being able to see his face, to remember my family – there was nothing worth fighting for.

“Are you sure?” I kept my eyes locked on Roslyn, eager to catch a smile, anything to say that she was kidding, but these were the compounds, and there was a reason they were called the Rings of Hell.

“They sent a messenger to deliver the news to Matron Elizabeth shortly before your arrival.”

“They are returning for her, aren’t they?” She nodded. “She’s dangerous, and that terrifies them. It’s a battle for power, and right now, they are losing.”

I ran my fingers over the fabric of my dress, a nervous habit I’d developed over time. I had to keep moving, to distract myself from my thoughts, or else I would fall apart and I couldn’t afford that in a place like this. “Where is she?”

Roslyn looked up at me, a tight smile on her lips. “A few buildings down. Matron Elizabeth felt it was best to keep her around the rest of us to maintain some sort of normalcy.”

“Can we go see her?”

She pressed a finger against her right shoulder blade. “You do know that every movement is being recorded, correct?” I looked at Roslyn, clueless as to what she was trying to tell me. “Despite what Matron Elizabeth thinks, the Council still keeps an extremely close eye on the compounds. I know for a fact that they record our movements and that they keep track of whom we associate ourselves with within the compounds.”

“How is that?”

Roslyn handed me her meal card. “You know how your ID card from Caiden stored your personal information?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, each person’s meal card has a computer chip in place. It not only stores your personal information but also your food intake, work schedule, meal schedule, how frequently you visit a location and how often you spend near another person – it’s kind of like the chip they gave you to wear around your neck.”

“But how do you know?” I asked, growing more impatient as time ticked by without a response from Roslyn.

Finally, what felt like an eternity later, she turned to face me, stretching her legs out along the couch. “Do you remember that first time you felt what it was like to be in love? How you felt as though the world could crumble around you and it wouldn’t matter, as long as he was near your side?”

I closed my eyes, allowing myself to remember that feeling. To remember the way it felt when he looked at me; the love that filled his eyes and enveloped me, making me feel as though I was the only person that mattered.

I knew that feeling; I knew it all too well.

“Yes,” I said.

“I’m afraid to lose that feeling,” she said. “I’m afraid that if I do; if somehow they manage to take that away from me, I’ll have nothing left. It sounds ridiculous, I guess, but it is how I feel. I’m so desperate to hold onto those memories that I’m willing to do whatever is needed to hold onto them.”

I looked over Roslyn, taking in the pain that covered her face and the telling look in her eyes. “What did you do?”

“You said that you wanted to see Jolene, correct?” Roslyn asked, effectively changing the subject.

“Yes,” I answered eagerly.

She tossed her feet over the edge of the couch and moved to stand. “Come on then, we don’t have much time before Matron Elizabeth returns for us.”

Chapter Six

I’d thought that I had seen the worst of Compound One.

I hadn’t.

Roslyn led me to a back doorway that led us into the silent night. Candles burned on the windowsills of the buildings we passed as we crept along, careful to keep an eye out for Matron Elizabeth and the rest of the Order.

“What will happen if they see us?” The crisp night air danced along my bare skin, igniting an army of goose bumps all over my body. I’d never missed the comfort of home more than now.

“They’d send us to one of the nearby detention centers,” she said, shrugging.

Part of me almost wanted to be captured and brought to one of the detention centers, only because at least then I’d understand the pain Kieran must have been experiencing.

But then there was a part of me desperate to uncover what was taking place within Compound One. I wasn’t entirely sure why either because I knew that I was far too weak to do anything about it.