Whales on Stilts! (2 page)

They reached a staircase and started up. Lily lingered behind, looking back at the lab.

“What's wrong?” her dad asked.

Lily blew the hair out of her face and looked straight at him.

“Oh, come on, honey,” he said. “It's not really as suspicious as it seems. We're a midsize company devoted to expanding cetacean pedestrian opportunities.”

She looked confused.

He smiled. “We make stilts for whales. See? Nothing suspicious.”

“But...”

Her father stuck his hands in his pockets and jogged up the steps, whistling. The tune was “How Much Is That Doggy in the Window?”

“Dad ...?” she protested, but her voice was too soft, and he was already a flight above her.

Lily's dad's office was large and kind of bare. He had a desk and a computer and a phone. He sat her down in a chair over in one corner and read his e-mail. He drank some coffee. He typed some things.

Lily wanted to get up and explore the abandoned warehouse, but she knew she wouldn't be allowed. She had brought along some homework, but she couldn't really concentrate on it. Not while sitting in the middle of an extremely dangerous, highly guarded high-tech, secret scientific laboratory.

She tried to work on math. She told herself that there weren't really mad scientists, and that if there was a mad scientist, the worst place he or
she could build a lair would be in an abandoned warehouse, because that's where everyone looked for mad scientists. But she kept on hearing weird beeping noises through the walls.

At about ten thirty, Lily's father took her down to the break room to get some of the little muffins that came in packages. She kept her eyes wide open to see what she could notice. She had always wanted to see what the break room in a mad scientist's laboratory looked like.

It was kind of like any other break room, with vending machines for candy, chips, and soda, and an old microwave, and some tables and chairs. The door of the microwave had been slightly melted by something hot.

“Hey there, Gefelty,” said a man in a chair. “How're you doing?”

“I'm doing just fine, Ray,” said Lily's father. “What's up?”

“Nothing much,” said Ray, yawning. “Just the usual. We're a little bit behind schedule. But you know, sometimes it almost makes me
curious—why all of the giant, destructive lasers? And why all of the maps of North America?”

“Yeah. Sure. I guess. Oh, Ray, have you seen the memo about the meeting with Paul?”

Ray looked both ways, like he was about to say something important.

Lily held her breath. She pretended to be interested in the candy selection.

Ray said quietly, “Okay. You know, it's only my opinion, but I think that Sandy should have been in charge of that project, not Paul. I mean, Paul's a great details person, but he doesn't always get the overall picture—you know what I mean? And Sandy's good both with details and with the big picture. But you know, Sandy doesn't get on so good with Loretta, and I think that's why they hired Paul after that whole thing with Bob and Sheila.”

Mr. Gefelty said, “I agree, but—hey there, Larry!”

Both men straightened up when someone who was obviously the boss came in. The new-comer
was dressed in a pin-striped suit, very natty, with a grain sack over his head with two holes cut out for his eyes.

“Hey, boys,” he said. “Everything well?”

“Larry,” said Mr. Gefelty, “I'd like you to meet my daughter, Lily.”

Larry held out a blue, rubbery hand. “Hi, Lily. Nice to meet you.”

Lily was shy, especially of blue, rubbery, concealed people, and so she didn't say much. She shook his hand.

“Say hi to Larry, Lily,” said her father.

“Hi,” said Lily. “It's very nice to meet you.”

“She's a charmer, Gefelty. She'll sweep 'em right off their feet. Oh, hey, Gefelty, can I get that report from Sheila on my desk ASAP? I want to pass it on to R and D.”

“Sure thing, Larry.”

“Great. Great! Hey, the little girl reminds me—when are you planning to go on vacation with your beautiful family?”

“Oh, next month, once school's out.”

“Oh, great, great. Where you planning on going?” asked Larry, opening the fridge, and pulling out a large vat of green brine and lifting it over his head.

“We're going to go visit Lily's grandmother in Decentville.”

“You from there?” asked Larry.

“My wife.”

“Oh, great, great,” said Larry, dumping the vat of brine over his head so it soaked his grain sack and his suit. He put down the empty metal vat. “Oh, wait a second. Wait a second, Gefelty. Just thought of something. By then, I will have taken over the world, and Decentville, er, you know ...” Larry made a noise that sounded like several large futuristic lasers blowing up the Decentville police station and the Bijou Theater and the rest of the town being engulfed in flames and destruction as car alarms went off in deserted burning alleyways.

Lily's father bit his lip. “Aw, shoot,” he said. “Well, we'll reschedule.”

“Best thing for it,” agreed Larry, nodding his shrouded head. “Best thing.” He clapped Lily's dad on the shoulder. “Oh, hey, hey—question for you: Do you guys prefer the nondairy creamer or real milk for the coffee?”

“Could the office stock both?” asked Ray.

“Well, see, the milk keeps going sour before it's used. That's what I'm worried about.”

Ray nodded sadly. “That's what milk does,” he said.

“You betcha; that's milk for you,” said Larry. “I'm thinking of switching the office over entirely to the nondairy.” He sighed, and they all thought about it for a minute. Then Larry said, “Awrighty. I'll see you guys later. Lily, it's nice to meet you. Have a great day at the office.” He left the room with a wave, dripping brine.

“See?” whispered Ray. “This is what we have to put up with at this place.”

Mr. Gefelty nodded. “You'd prefer the milk.”

“Of course I'd prefer real milk! Who wouldn't? Huh? Tell me.”

Lily's head was spinning. In just a few weeks her grandmother's town would be in flames and the mysterious Larry would be ruling the world! Lily felt like she couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Her dad just sipped his coffee. She steadied herself against a table.

On the wall was a poster of a kitten clinging to a branch. The caption said: “Just Hang in There! Kibble's on the Way!”

The cat, however, just looked terrified.

Lily and her father sat in his office.

This situation was too big for Lily. She didn't have the first idea of what to do.

She tried talking to her father.

“Dad... Don't you think that Larry is... strange? I mean... how he wants to take over the world?”

“Honey, sometimes adults use irony. They don't really mean what they say.”

“He poured that... brine all over his head!”

“He has a skin condition, Ms. Nosy.”

“But—” said Lily.

“Sweet pea, don't let your imagination go
crazy. We're just a cetacean prosthesis company in an abandoned warehouse.”

“But, Dad—”

“Honey, do you see all the things on my desk? I have to do all these things.” He picked up a piece of paper. “This thing, and ...” (another piece of paper) “this thing and ...” (stick-it note) “this thing ...” (folder) “and even this thing. So why don't you do your homework and let me do what I have to do?”

So Lily quietly worried. She thought that Larry was pulling the wool over his employees' eyes. He was going to try to take over the world. She didn't know how, but she believed that was what he was after. What could she possibly do? She was just one person, just a
short
person—and Larry was an adult, a full-grown blue, rubbery, concealed adult, taking over the world. What could she possibly do? This thought like huge words filling a bleached pale-white page.

filled

her

with

terror

She decided she needed help.

Quickly.

There was no question who Lily should ask for help: her two best friends, Katie and Jasper. Lily thought of herself as just a boring, quiet girl-but she knew she had interesting friends. Katie and Jasper had been through a lot of adventures, and were famous for their bravery and heroism.

Katie Mulligan lived in Horror Hollow, a little suburban development just off Route 666. Living in Horror Hollow, Katie had had lots of experience with zombies, werewolves, and flesh-eating viruses. She even had her own series of books about her adventures—the Horror Hollow series—and a fan club. If people sent $10.99, they got a monthly newsletter, a Horror Hollow Ghost Hunter's Kit, and a badge that
had a picture of Katie screaming (from that time at the end of seventh grade when her blood had been taken over by a rogue mind-sloth and forced to flow backward).

Lily and Katie had been friends long before Katie became famous from her first book,
Horror Hollow #1: Entrée for the Beetle People.
Katie never even talked about her fan club, or how she was always being interviewed by writers for the series. Still, Lily knew that Katie was smart, quick, and brave—all things that Lily didn't think she herself was.

Lily's other friend was Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut. Jasper enjoyed inventing things. He didn't mix with other kids much, probably because he dressed in gray wool shorts, long socks, a Norfolk jacket, and an aviator's cap. He had been on many adventures, and he'd also had a series of books written about him, including
Jasper Dash and His Amazing Electrical Sky Train
and
Jasper Dash and the Villainous Brain Pirates of Chungo.
Jasper had once had a fan
club a few years back, sponsored by Gargletine Brand Patented Breakfast Drink. Kids who wrote to him and included a single thin dime got decoder rings and balsa-wood airplanes.

Recently, however, very few kids had been drinking Gargletine Brand Patented Breakfast Drink—it tasted awful and caused seizures in lab rats—so not many kids signed up for the Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut, Fan Club. Jasper didn't seem to notice, though, because he was too busy whizzing around the skies in his inventions, making new appliances for his mother, being gallant, solving the riddles of Creation, stunning crooks, and fighting off yeti in diamond mines.