What a Girl Wants (32 page)

“Yes, I made bad choices! And I’ve lived with the memories and pain of those choices.”

Maddie shook her head, concentrating on taking slow breaths. “None of this gets to be about you two. All I ever wanted was to know the truth about who my father is—”

“You’re finally going to get your wish.” Felicia turned and stood in front of her daughter. “When a woman like me gets noticed by a man like him it makes her believe that maybe she’s worth something instead of being part of the sisterhood of the oldest profession in the world.”

“Felicia, stop this, now!” Maxwell’s booming voice snapped Maddie out of the dizziness she felt at her mother’s proclamation. “This is not what we agreed we would tell her.”

Maddie grabbed Alex’s hand. Surely, she must have misunderstood her mother. “I know I’ve made comments about your relationships, but I would never call you or think you were a—”

“A what? Hooker? Whore? You would have been right if you had.” Felicia threw her head back. Her self-loathing laugh crashed into Maddie’s eardrums. “For men like Maxwell Hollister we called ourselves
consultants.
I believe the current label is
call girl
.”

Her mother who never cussed—at least not in front of Maddie—had been a call girl? “I don’t believe it. This is what you always do when I want answers. Fabricate some drama.”

Felicia inhaled short rapid breaths like a lizard catching flies. “Go ahead, Maxwell. Here’s your chance to extract your pound of flesh. Was I or wasn’t I a call girl when we met?”

Maxwell turned to Maddie, regret reflected in his eyes. There was no need for a verbal confirmation.

A cold chill ran up Maddie’s spine. She shivered.

Alex wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

“Go ahead. Judge me.” Felicia pointed her finger at the three of them. “You think selling my body is disgusting because none of you can imagine doing that. Of course you can’t. You all like yourselves and have far more respect for yourselves than I ever did. I was kicked to the curb in New York before I entered puberty. My childhood was riddled with abuse. That was
my
reality. And no, I’m not making excuses for my
career
choice.”

She held her head high. “The hungrier I got, the more desperate I became.”

Maddie was numb all over. Even her bruised ribs had ceased to have feeling. She swallowed hard. “Am I the product of an accident with a…client?”

“No. You were planned and wanted. And Maxwell was not a client when you were conceived.” Felicia lowered her voice a few decibels. “I’d taught myself to make do without love until I met Maxwell.” She sagged against the chair’s armrest. “He was so gentle, kind, considerate.” Her agony filled eyes locked with Maddie’s. “I became his mistress, and I never went back to the call-girl agency. We had an arrangement, but I fell in love.” Tears streamed down her face as she turned to Maxwell. “You have no idea how much I loved you.”

Alex handed Felicia a box of tissues. She took one and wiped her eyes. “I wanted to give him something that nobody else could.” She turned to Maxwell. “I wanted to have your baby.”

Maxwell grabbed Felicia by the shoulders. “Then what is this about a fertility clinic?”

“I panicked. I thought you were getting ready to leave me for good. I thought if I was pregnant, then you’d leave that witch and we’d be together. You told me if there was anything in life I wanted, I would have to go out and get it.”

Felicia inhaled a deep breath. “So that’s exactly what I did. I wanted to increase my chances of a pregnancy so I saved my money and went to a clinic. I was able to choose an eye color, hair color and background to match yours. At the time we were still intimate, so there is a chance she’s yours.” She raked a trembling hand through her hair. “The doctor explained that because I only had one insemination, my success rate with a donor was less than twenty percent. Chances are high that she’s yours.”

Maxwell’s face matched the color of his hair. “How could you deceive me like that?”

“Do you ask yourself that question also?” Standing, she took a step closer, narrowing her eyes. “You ran away from your past and pain into our sordid affair, deceiving us both into thinking we had a future together.” Felicia turned toward Maddie, who was now battling nausea worse than when she’d ridden the world’s largest roller coasters for her article. “Look at her. She’s the spitting image of your sister. She has your intelligence and sass. She hates me as much as your family hated me. As much as you hate me now.” She grabbed another tissue. “So now you know. I was a desperate, stupid, immature woman. I used the oldest trick in the book to try and keep my man.” She blew her nose. “Come on, Madison, I know you have a comeback. Oldest profession, oldest trick—”

“Felicia,” Alex said. “She’s hurting. You’re hurting.”

“I’m done here.” Felicia grabbed her purse off the chair and opened it. “One more thing.” Rifling through her wallet, she took out a folded piece of paper. “Here’s the check your father and ex-wife gave me to leave town. I never cashed it.”

She threw the check into Maxwell’s face. They all watched it float to the floor. “I never cashed it because it represented a time in my life when I was for sale, and
I didn’t sell
. Instead, I cleaned houses and ironed clothes to make ends meet.” She turned to Maddie. “Besides you, that un-cashed check is the only thing in my life I am proud of.”

Felicia tossed the tissues in the garbage and finger-combed her hair. “Madison, I know for years you thought I was callous regarding your birthday. I tried to make your birthday a celebration, but every year all you ever asked for was a card from your daddy. Did he not remember his little girl’s birthday, you’d ask. It broke my heart so I ignored the day after that.”

“Felicia.” Maxwell turned his pained face to Maddie. “We’ve heard enough.”

“I agree.” Alex pressed his lips against Maddie’s temple. “You okay?”

Maddie nodded. “Yes.” It came out as a whisper. “Let her finish.”

“I was selfish and focused on filling the emptiness left behind by Maxwell with relationships that never worked.” She walked up to Maddie. “How you turned out to be such a confident, strong, exceptional woman with me as a mother is beyond me.” She smoothed Maddie’s bangs. “I know you’re not going to believe this, and I sure as hell don’t blame you if you don’t. But you’re the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.”

Maddie locked gazes with her mother. “For the record. I don’t hate you.”

Felicia closed her eyes with a slight bow of her head. “For the record. I believe you.”

With that, she left.

Maddie woke up and tried to stretch her arms, but remembered her right arm was a no go. She clicked the button that threw the overhead light on, rubbed the sleep from her eyes and glanced at the clock—six o’clock. She’d slept for four hours.

After Felicia left, Maddie had succumbed to a painkiller. Before falling into a dreamless sleep, she told Maxwell that she wanted to know the test results. He hesitated at first, then agreed and called the clinic. He was told they would try their best to contact him tonight or early tomorrow.

Her tummy rumbled. Leaning over for the cookie tin she heard a light tap on the door. “Come in.” She smiled as Maxwell walked in the room. “Hey, there. You’re still here?”

“I’ll get that.” He opened the cookie tin and placed it on her lap. “Are you up for a visit?”

She pointed to the large box on the table. “Anyone who sends a carton of Milk Duds can visit me any time. Too generous and I thank you.” She dived into the cookie tin. “Where’s Alex?”

“He went out for something to eat. I suspect he wanted to give us some time alone.”

He pulled up a chair and Maddie held out the tin offering him a cookie. They spent the next hour talking. Maxwell told her about his first love, Elizabeth, her brother Liam Galvin and his loveless second marriage. Maddie wasn’t sure if he was doing it for her benefit or if he really had loved Felicia at one time. He talked about her with a lot of respect and admiration. He said he realized he should have been more sensitive to Felicia’s disheartened state when they’d met.

“Two people can be perfect for each other,” he said, “but if the timing and circumstances are wrong, then it won’t work.” He sighed. “That’s me and Felicia in a nutshell.”

The timing comment made her wonder about her and Alex. Was it bad timing for them? She had so much baggage now. She was emotionally as well as physically broken and wanted to pull the covers over her head and sleep for a year. She’d fight the distress as she always did. Though this time it seemed more challenging. “Why do you think relationships are so hard?”

He smiled. “Not all, only the important ones. What about you and Donovan? Is the timing for you two good?”

She took a cookie and handed him one. “The DNA test could come back negative, then you’ll have wasted all this fatherly concern.”

He sat back in the chair, crossing his leg over his knee. “Indulge me. I’m old.”

“You may age faster if I
am
your daughter.” She bit into the cookie. “But once you can get past my smart-assness you should be good to go.”

“Donovan is a lucky man to have the love of an extraordinary woman like you.”

She did not want to have
that
conversation with Maxwell. “You know that awkward feeling we had this afternoon. It’s back.” She blushed. “Thanks. Now no more compliments. So how about those Rangers? You think they’ll bring the cup home?”

“As much as it pains me to admit this, you’re also lucky. It’s obvious he’s crazy about you. From what I’ve learned and witnessed…he’s a solid man.” He winced after saying that.

She smiled. “And once you get past Alex’s smart-assness, you’ll be a fan too.”

He winced again. “I don’t like his profession. In fact, I don’t like your profession either.” He leaned forward. “I could buy you a publishing house to run. You’ll be safe behind a desk. You won’t have to jump off cliffs or endure ghastly theme parks.”

She let out a giggle. “I jump out of planes, too. Will you buy me a Cessna?”

Shaking his head, he folded his arms. “You are going to send me to an early grave.”

Laughing, she handed him the empty tin. “Whatever that test says, I’m glad you’re one of the possibilities.” She put her hand over her mouth. “That didn’t come out right.”

He leaned forward and took hold of her hand. “I understand what you mean. I do hope you’re my daughter, even if you are a daredevil.” Clearing his throat. “And I do hope you will mend your relationship with your mother.”

“We have this thing we do. We argue, ignore each other for a few weeks, then return to our superficial relationship.” Maddie attempted a tone of casual indifference. “No biggie.”

“But it’s different this time, isn’t it?”

Maddie nodded, looking away. It was too personal and private a thing to talk about with anybody, most of all with Maxwell. “Okay, you’re not a Rangers fan. How about the Yankees?”

Maxwell squeezed her hand in understanding. “You want me to buy you a baseball team?”

Alex entered. “Hey, sleepyhead, you’re up.” He nodded at Maxwell and kissed Maddie.

Maxwell’s cell phone rang. He glanced at the display. “It’s Dr. Noa. Excuse me.” He stood and answered the call. “Dr. Noa, thank you for handling this so quickly.” Maddie couldn’t gauge his expression to figure out what the doctor was saying to him. “In layman’s terms, please?” A long pause. “You’re certain?” An even longer pause. “Yes, we’d both like a copy.”

He hung up, went to hold Maddie’s hand and regarded her a few moments with a warm smile.

No words were needed. His eyes, glistening with unshed sadness, gave Maddie her answer.

“Test results will not take away the fact that I, along with anyone who has been fortunate to know you, think you are an outstanding young woman.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “Thank you for allowing me into your life. You are always welcome in my home.” He looked at Alex. “You both are.”

She gave him a watery smile. “What did I say about no more compliments?”

After a hug and promises of keeping in touch, he bid them both goodbye and left.

Alex sat on the edge of her bed. “You okay?”

Nodding, she bent her head. “Yes.” She looked up at him. “No. No, I’m not.”

He gathered her into his arms.

Burying her face in his chest, she heard his heart thumping as fast as hers. She cried like she’d never cried before. She felt like a colander with tears pouring out of her heart and soul. She stayed in his arms until dehydration gave her the motivation to take a deep breath, wipe her eyes and grab a bottle of water. She drank like a woman lost in the dessert.

She hiccupped. “Ow. Even a hiccup hurts.” She finished drinking, her thirst quenched, her self-pity shelved. “Were you able to find out anything from the information I gave Reece?”

“We don’t have to do this now.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “You’ve had a helluva day.”

“I want to.” She slid her eyes to her injured arm. “I’m an invalid, cater to me.”

“That’s never going to work with me.” He chuckled at her pout. “That either.” He pointed at her scowl. “That could work.” Grabbing a bottle of water for himself, he explained, “The doctor who arranged the insemination died ten years ago. I did find out the name of the hospital he worked at before he went into private practice. It’s part of a medical school in Ohio.”

“Medical School?” she asked. “So the PI I hired lied? His report listed fertility clinics.”

“He didn’t lie. Felicia made inquiries and filled out forms at a few clinics, but the actual procedure took place in this hospital. I was told it’s likely her donor was a medical student. His medical history is recorded in your mother’s file. With the exception of the Thalassemia minor gene you inherited, there are no other concerns. His parents were born in Italy, he was born in the USA. That’s the extent of the information available.” He answered her questioning look, smiling. “Reliable source got the information from your mother’s medical file.”

“Guess you can Italianize Maddie after all.” She sighed. “Any way of getting a name?”

He shook his head. “Unlike fertility clinics, this hospital didn’t assign donor numbers.” He paused. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. There’s no way to track his name or any identifying information.”