What a Woman Needs (20 page)

Beth couldn’t even speak. Couldn’t say a word. It was . . . unbelievable. Amazing. Things like sex-for-hire went on in her neighborhood and her friends thought it was a good idea? She didn’t know these women.

And they sure as hell didn’t know her if they thought she’d just have a casual fling with someone. And then
talk
about it?

“I have to go.”

“Beth—”

“No, Kara, don’t. I can’t stay here. I’ll get the kids and leave. We have to get up early anyway.” She headed toward the driveway entrance to the basement so she could avoid the too-curious looks she was getting.

“But what about Bryan?”

What about him? She wasn’t his keeper, and by the looks of him, he was enjoying himself. Why subject him to the ridiculousness of what her so-called friends had done? Let him live in ignorance because the knowledge was just so . . . so . . . tawdry.

There was a word. A bit old-fashioned but it was the right one. What Kara had done was so far below any standard that it was the only word that fit.

God, Bryan could never find out. The
tabloids
could never find out.

“Bryan will be at work on Monday just like he has been for the past two weeks. That’s not going to change or there will be too many questions, but so help me, Kara, if you push this, if you say anything to anyone, our friendship is over. I can’t believe you would put me—or Bryan—in this position and then
admit
to it. What has happened to your common sense? I have kids, Kar. Kids who don’t need a parade of men through our front door and my bedroom.”

“What about what
you
need, Beth? Two years is too long to be alone at your age. You’re young. Vibrant. Sexy. You need a man in your life.”

“In my
life
is a hell of a lot different than in my
bed
, Kar.”

“No it’s not. That’s part of it.”

“Part. Not the whole. And with Bryan, that’s all there could be.”

“Ah! So you admit there could be something.”

Beth wanted to bang her head against the wall. Or Kara’s head, actually. “This conversation is pointless. Just don’t say anything to anyone, okay? It’s not happening.”

“That’s a shame.”

“
You
should be ashamed. What kind of woman do you think I am?”

“At the risk of being blamed for repeating myself, you’re a normal, healthy, vibrant woman who needs to have some fun in her life.”

Fun sounded good; heartache, not so much. “Your definition of fun is different than mine.”

Kara shrugged and Beth could tell her argument was falling on deaf ears. “All I’m saying is, live a little, Beth. Stop feeling guilty for being alive. Enjoy the moment.”

 • • • 

H
OLY
hell, that was harsh. Bryan heard that sentence and wanted to rush in and slay Beth’s dragon lady because who the hell said things like that to a widow who was still grieving?

Except she hadn’t been grieving that night in the gazebo. That night, it’d been just them.

“Butt out of my life, Kara. This is none of your business.”

“You’re my friend, Beth. I hate to see you locking yourself away from the world.”

“I have five kids to take care of, a job, and a house. I’m not locking myself away, even if I wanted to. I have responsibilities.”

“And that’s all you have. What happened to fun? To a girls’ day at the spa? Have you used that gift certificate the women from church gave you?”

“I haven’t had time.”

“You haven’t
made
time. And what about the lunch at the Bistro? Or the babysitting Courtney and her friends offered?”

“I am not going to run off to have a facial while some teenagers not much older than my own try to hold down the fort. The twins alone are a handful.”

“And they would survive for two hours. But you don’t give yourself that time, Beth. You’re always on the go, doing for your kids. That’s great, but sometimes you need to do something for you.”

Bryan was getting the picture. Beth loved her kids, but Kara was right; she did need time for herself. To be Beth. Not Mom Beth, or Widow Beth, or Teacher Beth, but the woman beneath all of that because if she didn’t nurture
her
, take care of
her
, there wouldn’t be any of those other Beths to do everything that needed to be done. And if that woman was out for the count, all hell would break loose in the Hamilton household.

“I know it’s hard, but you need to get out. Mike wouldn’t want you to become a hermit.”

Beth sucked in a harsh breath. “Do not bring Mike into this.”

Her voice had a definite shakiness to it. Whether in anger or tears, Bryan wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He wouldn’t relish dealing with either one.

“You have no idea what Mike would or wouldn’t have liked.”

“Really? You’re going to tell me that he’d be happy to see you withering away in your widowhood when there’s a hot guy in your home who looks at you like he can’t wait to scoop you up and cart you off somewhere?”

That’s
what Kara saw? Christ. He thought he’d kept his emotions better hidden than that.

“You’re exaggerating, Kara.”

She wasn’t.

“No I’m not. The man wants you and you’d be un-American not to want him. What the hell are you waiting for?”

“You make him sound like someone there to do my bidding. He’s a person, Kara. You can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do, just like you can’t force me. So back off, will you? I’ll move on in my life in my time, not yours.”

Well, if he needed any further proof that a fling with Beth wasn’t a good idea, that was it. Talk about ironic. For as long as he could remember, he’d had women throwing themselves at him whether he wanted something to do with them or not, yet the one woman he
did
want to have something to do with was the one who didn’t want to.

B
RYAN,
what are you doing here?” He was not the person Beth had expected to be ringing her front door at nine a.m. on a Saturday morning. Especially when she’d left the happy hour before him, so God only knew what time he’d gotten home.

And she didn’t want to know. Maybe he was on his way home from some lucky housewife’s bed.

Which was probably why she snarled at him.

“I’ve come to rescue you,” he said with his most charming smile.

It might have worked, too, if she weren’t imagining him climbing out of Mrs. Shuman’s bed. Or Kara’s. Or Bethany’s.

She hefted Maggie higher on her hip. Her youngest had put on some weight. “I’m doing good on my own, thanks.”

He cocked his head and, damn him, it was a good look on him. “You okay?”

No. “I’m fine. I just have a lot to do today. Sherman’s decided trashcans are more fun than clotheslines and figured out how to wiggle into the kitchen cabinet to get to ours, and I have to get to the supermarket at some point today, and Kelsey’s got an orthodontist appointment, and Jason wants to go to his friend’s house.”

“And I’m going to Carly’s!” Maggie chimed in, her smile taking up most of her face.

“Yes, sweetie, you are. Somehow.” She looked at Bryan. “So you can see, I’m going seven different directions at once.”

He took Maggie from her. “Then it’s a good thing I’m here.”

“Why
are
you here?” It felt weird not to have Maggie in her arms, yet it didn’t feel weird to see her in Bryan’s. And
that
felt weird.

“I’ve decided you need a day off.”

“I have all summer off.”

“You have summer off from
work
. Not from being a parent.”

“There
are
no days off from being a parent. Especially when . . .” She looked at him pointedly. She didn’t want to bring up Mike in front of Maggie.

“Well, today
is
that day. You’re going to go do some girly thing and I’m going to take the kids. We’ll do all your errands and I’ll drop Maggie and Jason off where they need to go.”

“But Kelsey has to go to the orthodontist. You can’t do that; only her parent can.”

“I don’t have to go today.” Kelsey, thank God, showed up at the most opportune moment. “It’s not like Dr. Taylor hasn’t changed this appointment five times already.”

“Three, Kelsey. Don’t exaggerate.”

“Whatever. All I’m saying is, don’t let me stop you from having a girl’s day. Bryan’s right; you do need one. I can go to Maddy’s.”

“There, see?” Bryan flashed his famous smile and Beth could feel her resolve weakening. “Problem solved.”

“Did Kara put you up to this?” Yet another angle by her well-intentioned-but-misguided friend?

“No. Why?”

It sucked that he was such a good actor because she couldn’t tell whether he was lying or not. But then, she had no reason to suspect him and it was just paranoia at Kara’s machinations fueling her suspicions. “No reason. And I appreciate the effort, but—”

“Go, Mommy.”

“What?” Now her youngest was chiming in on the act?

Maggie nodded her head so furiously her curls bounced in Bryan’s face. “You need to go to the hairdresser and look all pretty.”

Great. So now she looked like crap. With Bryan Manley standing right in front of her. No wonder there was no hope of anything happening. Why bother with the mom from the ’burbs when he could have the most beautiful women in the world?

“Now, Maggie, your mom looks beautiful just the way she is. This is a day to make her
feel
good. Like a massage or a facial or something.” Bryan kissed the top of Maggie’s head and looked at Beth with the look that had launched his career, and the thing was it was completely natural on him. “Don’t change a hair on your head, Beth. You don’t need to.”

A
thud
hit her midsection, filling her with warmth and those butterflies again. Why’d he have to be so darn nice?

“Go. Have a good time. I’ve got the kids. You take care of you.”

She wanted to. She did. Then again, she wanted to stay here with him.

And that was the reason she went. A complete change of scenery would do her good.

 • • • 

F
IVE
hours later,
Bryan
was the one who needed a change of scenery. He’d been joking when he’d complained to his brothers and Gran about the havoc five kids could wreak, but now . . . Just Mark and Tommy were enough to put him over the edge.

He’d rescheduled the ortho appointment and dropped Jason, Kelsey, and Maggie off with their friends, then taken the twins food shopping with him. Of
course
he’d run into Sean, who was going to tease him mercilessly about being Mr. Mom, and then the boys had knocked down a tower of mac-n-cheese boxes while running down the aisles with pretend lightsabers, begging for soda the entire time.

Sean’s client, Olivia Carolla, had been there, and for all that he and his brothers wanted her out of the picture, the woman had given the boys an experiment to try with the soda that she’d said would cure them of their soda cravings for good, so she couldn’t be all bad. Just inconvenient for their plans.

So now he found himself in Beth’s kitchen, pouring three glasses of cola—because he
knew
Maggie would want in on this experiment—and putting a hard-boiled egg in each.

“Now what?” Mark asked, plopping his chin in his palm.

“Yeah, now what?” Tommy did the same thing, only mirror image. They were fraternal twins, but some of the things they did were eerily similar.

“Now we wait. Ms. Carolla said that if we leave this alone, something will happen to the egg.”

“What?” asked Tommy.

“Bryan doesn’t know,” said Mark.

“Does too.”

“Does not.”

“Does too.”

“Guys.” Bryan hunkered down next to them with his elbows on the counter. “It’s okay not to know. That’s why we’re doing the experiment. We’ll check it tomorrow and see what’s happened.”

“So we can’t drink the soda, right?”

“Out of the cup? With the egg in it? No. Why would you want to?”

The boys got the same grin on their faces, glanced at each other and said in unison, “To see what happens.”

He laughed. Couldn’t stop actually. Especially when the boys started with the belly laughs and then it was open season on laughter. And then there was tickling—them on him.

Somehow Bryan ended up sitting on the floor with the two of them jumping on top of him, tickling him ’til he couldn’t breathe.

He wiggled back on the kitchen floor and leaned against the dishwasher. “Guys, cut me a break, will ya? I’m an old guy.”

“You’re not old,” said Tommy.

“You’re well-seasoned,” said Mark.

“What?” He chuckled. “Where’d you hear that?”

Tommy shrugged and sat next to him. “Grandpa. He always says that to Grandma when her ’thritis starts actin’ up.”

Mark sat by his other side. “What’s ’thritis?”

God, he loved these kids. “It’s nothing for you guys to worry about for a long time.”

“Grandma’s not gonna die, is she?”

“Is ’thritis gonna kill her?”

Oh wow. The mood turned somber and Bryan realized just how important his answer was going to be to the two of them. “No, guys. Arthritis is not going to kill Grandma.”

“Yay!” they said together, high-fiving each other in front of him.

Great. Now when their grandmother
did
die they’ll think he lied to them. “But you know that eventually she will. We all die.”

“Yeah, our dad did,” said Tommy.

“But he shouldn’t have,” said Mark. “Everyone says so.”

“Yeah, they do.” Tommy nodded sagely. “But that doesn’t make him come back.”

“That’s ’cause he’s in heaven,” said Mark.

“Nuh uh, silly. He’s in the ground.”

“Well first he went in the ground, but then he went to heaven,” said Mark as if they were discussing planting flowers or something.

But then it all changed when Mark added, “Right, Bryan? Dad went to heaven.”

Shit shit shit. Bryan wasn’t prepared for this. He didn’t know Beth’s religious beliefs. He didn’t want to steer the kids down a path she wouldn’t want, but he had to tell them something.

“Your dad will always be with you, guys. Right here.” He tapped the boys on their hearts, and he felt his
thud
. Please God, let him say the right thing. “Always remember him as you knew him and know that he loved you very much. If he could have lived through the accident to be with you, he would have.”

Of course Mike would have; that’s what parents did. Bryan hoped the accident had happened fast and Mike hadn’t had the chance to realize what was about to happen or worry about his family.

No need to worry, buddy. I’ve got them.

The thought just popped into his head and Bryan suddenly found himself staring through the kitchen doorway to that memorial above the fireplace.

What in God’s name was he doing promising a dead guy something he had no business even thinking?