What is Hidden (26 page)

“According to my father, perhaps,” he scoffed. “You have to understand everything, though. I haven’t told you the whole story yet.”

“Please enlighten me.” My voice was flat.

“You know that the prince cannot be seen or heard by anyone outside of the royal family and a few choice servants. One in my case—my nursemaid, who bathed, dressed, and fed me until I was old enough to do so myself. She was also the one to take measurements for clothes, requests for goods I wanted or needed, everything. She was my one link to the outside world.

“And she was good at her job, but that’s all it was to her: her job. She distanced herself from me. I didn’t need another mother, my own was quite enough. I needed a friend. And she couldn’t be that for me.

“I don’t know if you can imagine how lonely that is,” he whispered. “And then, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be seen and heard, but I loved and respected my family too much to do anything to shame or embarrass them or the crown in any way.

“So I began to sneak out and impersonate a normal kid.”

“Those stories about you sneaking out of your room,” I murmured, remembering.

He nodded. “It was too easy for me to get clothes and an extra mask. I simply had to ask for the first set, and it was given to me, no questions asked. Who would refuse a royal request? And once I had those, I quickly obtained a second set, because I knew once my father realized what I was doing, he would confiscate the first in an attempt to stop me. Which he did, but there was no stopping me.

“It was so liberating to be out on the streets! To have the freedom to move where and how I pleased, and to speak to anyone and everyone . . . it was a dream come true for me.”

“Eventually my father realized he couldn’t stop me, and I convinced him that I would be a better king if I wasn’t so sheltered. So he allowed me a position on the council where I could actually speak, which meant I needed an estate, and to go to all the royal functions as someone who could actually interact with others. That’s why he arranged for me to go with Arianna—he didn’t trust anyone else but a Lacie to keep my secret. He didn’t want to tell her at all, of course, but you can’t keep anything from them.”

“How can I know this isn’t some elaborate hoax?” I asked, reaching for something solid to grab onto.

“That’s the thing I want to show you. I want to prove my identity to you, the one way I can prove it with absolute surety. I want you to see me . . .
really
see me. All of me.”

And then he did the unthinkable—he reached up and unhooked his mask. He set it gently down beside him and looked at me with such vulnerability that I could not look away.

Right where my own Mark sat was a Mark of his own. Under his right eye was a tattoo of an outstretched wing set inside a crown: the royal seal. I’d heard that each member
of the royal family was marked with it when they came of age. The queen received it when she married into the family. Even though no one could see it, it was to represent the pain of ruling, and it helped the royal family to never forget who they were and what they represented.

“Aiden . . . ,” I whispered, staring at his face.

He looked exactly as I’d imagined him, but it was so strange to see all of him. And I didn’t know what to feel at this revelation. Anger for him lying to me? Betrayal for him gaining my trust when he wasn’t who I thought he was? Or understanding for him finding a way through his loneliness? Compassion for someone I called a friend, someone I thought I loved?

“I’m still the same person,” he insisted. “I never once pretended to be someone I’m not.”

“I think I can understand why you did what you did,” I started out slowly, “but this is a lot to take in. I . . . don’t know what I’m supposed to make of it all. Or what I’m supposed to do or say.” I felt as vulnerable as if it were my mask on the floor beside me.

“You don’t have to do or say anything. I just wanted you to know.”

Something occurred to me then, the latter half of his story. “Is this the part where you tell me you found your bride and you’ll never see me again, and that this was your way of telling me good-bye?” There was no bitterness in my voice. Only sadness. I was losing him. I never really had him, and I was going to lose him.

“Oh, no. I’ve found my bride, if she’ll have me,” he said, “but I really hope that doesn’t mean I’ll never see you again.”

“Who is she?” I suddenly had to know.

“Are you truly asking me that?” He looked at me, almost sadly, one eyebrow raised.

“Clearly,” I said, indignant. “Am I not allowed to know until the official announcement or something?”

He laughed. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Well, tell me then!” I was growing frustrated again.

“I did.”

“You did not!”

“I said that my hypothetical situation wasn’t hypothetical,” he clarified.

A moment passed. My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open. “You mean
me
?”

“If you’ll have me,” he said simply.

“Are you insane?” I asked. “You can’t marry
me
.”

“I think the question is if
you
will marry
me.”

“I couldn’t possibly! I can’t!” I protested.

His face fell. “Why not?”

“Because!” I thought it should be obvious. “I didn’t even know who you were until now. How could I possibly marry you?”

“I’m still the same person,” he insisted again. “You know me already. You know me better than anyone else. You’re the one I want.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you want me?” I persisted. “Because I know your secret? Is that the only reason?”

“Of course not,” he scoffed. “I want you because—you said it yourself—you’re my best friend. You make me laugh and you make me work. You make me think about things
in a different way, and you make me want to be a better person. You’re beautiful and strong, fierce and loyal. I couldn’t imagine myself ever being with anyone else.”

I gulped, unprepared to deal with his sudden declarations. Those things he said made my heart swell and beat out rapid, syncopated rhythms, but one thing was missing.

“And your veracity is what would make you a wonderful queen. You wouldn’t be bossed around or intimidated by anyone. You’d be a wonderful role model for the citizens. Things are changing, Evie. The king and queen are starting to speak for themselves. You heard the king in the council room, and I know there’s been gossip among the servants. And you hear me every day. I need a queen who isn’t afraid of that—of my voice.” He paused, watching my reactions. “And you’d be loved by everyone, I know it.”

My breath hitched, and I dared to ask, “Even you?”

“Oh, my lady,
especially
me.” He grabbed my hands and held them tight. “Didn’t you already know? Evie, I love you so much, I can’t put it into words.” He hesitated. “You know me better than anyone, and you know that I’m not much for flowery words and pretty declarations. All I can say is that I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

I was dumbstruck.

“Can you . . . ?” he ventured to say. “Do you have any feelings for me, Evie? Any hope for me?”

I tried to speak, but my mouth was so dry that I couldn’t get the words out.

“If you can’t answer me now, that’s okay. And we wouldn’t have to get married right away. It can be an extended engagement for as long as you like.”

“No,” I started to say, and his face looked absolutely devastated.

“No?” He sounded so defeated.

“I mean, no, I can’t answer you now.” I tried to make sense. “I mean, just give me a minute. I’m in shock.”

He waited for me to continue, but patience never had been a virtue of Aiden’s. He fidgeted and shifted in front of me as I tried to gather my thoughts in some kind of coherent manner.

He wanted me for his queen. Aiden, my silly, lovely friend was the prince, and he wanted me for his queen.

I didn’t know anything about being a queen. I didn’t even know anything about being a
noble.
I didn’t know how to act or what my duties would be. I didn’t know any foreign languages, and I couldn’t even imagine hosting parties for visiting ambassadors without accidently insulting them somehow.

But despite all of that, all of the reasons I should say no, I couldn’t look away from him, and I couldn’t forget the way it felt to dance in his arms or the way he looked at me as if I were the only one in the room. I wanted that. I wanted to keep that forever. I wanted to keep
him
. Because, most of all, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

I loved him.

“First, I think . . . I want to say that I think I might love you too,” I said haltingly, reaching to touch his bare cheek. He shuddered under my touch, looking at me with bright eyes.

“You think?”

I was so overwhelmed I could barely speak. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m feeling, and I don’t know what love is supposed to feel like. But I think that’s what it is that I’m feeling right now. All fluttery, and like my heart is about to beat straight out of my chest.”

His eyes burned into mine. “That’s what I’m feeling.”

“And I think . . .” I took a huge breath. I was about to take a tremendous risk. “I think I want you to see me too.”

He would believe my story, wouldn’t he? He knew me well enough to believe that I could never be the Chameleon.

“Evie . . .”

“Yes. I want you to see me.” I was determined now. I gently pulled my hands from his and began to unwind the ribbons that wove into my hair. Finally I undid the clasp that held my mask in place.

I couldn’t look at him as I removed it. As I lowered the mask to my lap, there was nothing but silence. A moment passed. Then another.

“Evie.” His voice was low and serious. “What is that?”

“It’s not what it looks like,” I began, then laughed at the turn of phrase. Really?
It’s not what it looks like
? But I knew exactly what it looked like—pale and cruel against my skin, still not fully healed. “I mean, it’s not a real Mark.”

“It looks like the Chameleon’s Mark,” he said flatly.

“It is. But
he
marked
me.”

“Who’s ‘he’?”

“I don’t know. He’s the one we’ve been hunting down, remember?”

“Unless he is simply a fabrication to provide a distraction from yourself.”

“What?” He couldn’t be serious. “You really think that I would do that to you?”

“The Evie I know wouldn’t. But now I don’t know if that Evie is the real Evie. It could have all been a ruse. There were rumors of the Chameleon being a woman . . .” I could tell he was running through every conversation we’d
ever had about the Chameleon. “Marks don’t just appear, Evie. Why didn’t you tell me when it happened? You said you’d told me everything. Was it all a lie?”

“No!” I cried. “I would never do that. I—” I broke off mid-sentence. I almost told him I
knew
I loved him. I couldn’t do that now. Not when he was doubting my every action. He’d laugh in my face.

Instead, I tried a different tactic. “Why would I do that?” I asked in a quiet voice. “What on earth would I have to gain by deceiving you like that?”

“I don’t know!” He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “Ransom? Conspiracy? It could be anything!”

I gaped at him.

“You know what,” he said, grabbing his mask and tying it back on hastily, “forget it. I’m not going to sit here and listen to this.”

“Fine then! Run away!” I shouted as he yanked the door open, the wind blowing bitterly in my face. “I look forward to your announcement at midnight!”

He turned around to face me once more, glaring ferociously. “You will never speak to me again. And I hope I never see you again.” Momentarily the anger on his face dissolved, replaced by a look of pure pain. My heart burned inside me as I realized that this expression, this devastating pain, was my fault. But all too soon the sadness was gone; his face returned to the steely mask of anger again.

Oh, how much of ourselves we hide behind these masks
, I thought.

He stormed off, and I broke my promise again as I broke down in tears.

O
nce the tears subsided, I
was angry. No, I was beyond angry—I was
furious
.

I decided I was being stupid, wasting tears over Aiden. I stalked back toward the castle, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be out of these clothes that he’d deigned to give to me. I didn’t want anything more to remind me of him—as impossible a task as that was. I even left Hachi by the tree.

When I got back to the palace, I heard the bells chime, declaring the midnight hour had come. The prince—Aiden—was supposed to make his announcement now.

No one would be paying attention to anything else, so I chanced my usual route and tore down the hall to my room. I all but ripped my dress off and pulled on my working dress.

The party was clearly still in full swing, with shouts and hollers echoing all through the palace, but I couldn’t stand to hear any more of it. I was too angry.