What Little Remains (The Fallout Trilogy Book 1) (13 page)

“John,” I say, as he finishes wrapping up my wrist. “I want
to fight.”

He stops what he’s doing and looks at the ground. “You
talked to him.”

I hold my wrist up, the pain has increased, but I push it to
the side. “You see what he did?
To me?
The woman he
loves? He isn’t going to stop. He needs to be stopped.”

“Do you think that you could actually be part of a plan that
involves killing him?”

The pain in my chest overwhelms me. I can’t believe that he
didn’t listen. He says loves me and would do anything for me, but he couldn’t
even do this for me? Not only that, but he nearly broke my wrist trying to
prove a point. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t see any other way to stop
him. He won’t listen to me.

“What can I do, John?” I ask, devastated. “He won’t stop.”

“I won’t tell you to fight. You don’t have the skill to
fight and no one would ask you to kill Ricky. There are other ways that you can
help though.”

“How?” I ask, choosing to ignore his disregard for my
abilities, though part of me can’t help but see his point. I didn’t stand a
chance against those scavengers in the woods. I can’t even defend myself
against one man, especially one as skilled as Ricky.

“Part of our plan hinges on getting the key to the weapons
cabinet. Could you get that if we needed you to?”

I hesitate. Ricky never takes it off. I could get it if I
needed to.

“Yes.”

“Alright,” John says, looking relieved. “That will be more
helpful than you know.”

“When did he get this way? How did he get this way?”

“That’s a story Daren needs to tell you,” John says, his
tone final.

Why Daren? How much of this is he a part of? I couldn’t see
him killing a bunch of innocent people. Maybe that’s why he always stays here
and Ricky always goes.

“Why haven’t you just killed Ricky? Why do this big
charade?”

John sighs. “Ricky has the potential to be a great leader. I
think he was put in power too young and he didn’t have any experience. I hope
that he can change.”

“Are you the only one so optimistic?”

“No. There are several people that believe the same thing.
Alec doesn’t, but he’s agreed to do things my way until my way is no longer a
valid option.”

This is all a lot to take in. My entire reality has been
shifted in a very dramatic way, and I don’t know what is what. Last night,
Daren seemed to be fighting to get it stopped. His loyalty keeps him from
fighting Ricky, but he doesn’t agree with it. I don’t know where this blind
loyalty comes from, but Daren always stands behind Ricky’s decisions.

Judging from the way that Jack, Junior, and Pete always
react when they talk about going out to look for supplies, I know they enjoy
it. Junior and Pete are always coming up with new inventions and weapons. They
were supposed to be for our safety, but they obviously have another purpose.

I guess I finally understand Alec’s part in all of this.
Ricky has a tendency to keep his enemies close, but I don’t think he has any
clue about what Alec’s up to. Otherwise, Alec would be six feet under, not
sitting six feet from Ricky.

I lay my head down on the table, the cold wood soothing my
heated skin. Things used to be so much simpler. There were definite bad guys,
and we were the good guys. We gave food and shelter to those who had lost
everything. We helped people rebuild after scavengers took away their
belongings.

Ricky was good. In the beginning, he would always laugh and
smile. Everyone knew him and had no problem talking to him about any issue they
were having. It was Daren who was the enforcer. Everyone gave Daren a wide
birth, especially when he started training the other men.

Back in those first two months, Daren was my biggest
problem. I was worried about what his influence would do to Ricky, especially
since I needed him to get through my waking nightmare. He was so great back
then, and Daren was the dark cloud, the one who always brought people back to
the sad reality of our world. Then the dynamic started to shift. Slowly, Ricky
started to get harsher with people; his rules were imposed strictly and
forcefully.

I didn’t notice too much, or I didn’t care. The rules never
affected me. Ricky told me that it was because the scavengers were close.

“I just want everyone to be safe,” he says to Daren as I
walk into the living room. I had been taking a nap, or really I had been lying
in bed all day, and their arguing annoyed me to the point that I had to see
what the big deal was.

They both look over at me and stop talking.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my voice raspy to my own ears.

“Ricky has new rules he’s trying to enforce,” Daren says, an
edge to his voice.

“Rules? Why?”

“Because—” Daren starts, but Ricky cuts him off
smoothly.

“Because it isn’t safe anymore,” Ricky tells me, walking
over and rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “There are groups of men who’ve
been going through towns and taking all the supplies that they can get their
hands on, killing people who get in their way. I don’t want them to hurt anyone
here. Especially this beautiful girl.”

I ignored the compliment, thinking over what he said. “So
they are like scavengers. Feeding over the remains of what was left from the
previous world.”

“Scavengers,” Daren says slowly, a smile in his voice. “That’s
a good name for them. Very fitting.”

“People who would do stuff like that are disgusting,” I
said. “Killing innocent people in a world where we should be helping people
instead of hurting them. It makes me sick.”

I caught Daren giving Ricky a look, but I couldn’t read what
had passed between them. I guess back then Daren knew what Ricky was up to and
wasn’t happy about it.
 
But, Ricky
knows how to silence someone when they disagree.

April
9

“Are you going to look at me?” he asks, his tone unreadable.

Ricky has been sitting with me for ten minutes, trying to
get my attention.

I stare at the table. There are a lot of dents in the wood.
I asked the boys not to carve anything into the wood, but they haven’t been
gentle with it.

It’s better than looking at him. It’s hard to look at him
and not think about his betrayal.
Or about Alec.
Or
Nicole. Or John.

“I know you’re upset,” he starts, that annoying persuasive
tone in his voice. “But come on, Charlie. You know I’m right, so please stop
acting like this.” I stand, turning away from the table. He grabs my arm. I
turn my head slowly to look at his hand, following it up to his face. When he
registers the look on my face, he lets my arm go. He raises his hands in a mock
surrender.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he says, lowering his hands
slowly and setting them on the table. “But I’m trying to talk to you.”

“You were also trying to talk to me that night you put your
fist through the wall,” I say, keeping my eyes on his face. “You’re actions
speak much louder than anything that comes out of your mouth.”

He shakes his head, closing his eyes. “I don’t know what you
want me to say.”

I raise my eyebrows and turn all the way around to face him.
“We both know that I wouldn’t be in this relationship right now if you hadn’t
been lying to me. I would never have stayed with you. I never would’ve helped
you. I would’ve left a long time ago. You know those children that you claim to
be fighting for? Those children are going to learn about what you do. They’re
either going to hate you, or they’re going to want to do the same thing. I
don’t know which one is worse. We owe it to them, you owe it to them, to be the
best person that they need you to be.”

He sits down in his chair, his legs giving out from
underneath him. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I never thought of it that
way.”

He looks up at me, his eyes pleading.

I shrug my shoulders. “The ball is in your court.”

“If I change, if I stop, will you ever be able to love me
the same? Look at me the same way you used to?”

I shake my head. “You’ll never look the same to me. In my
eyes, you were never perfect, but I loved you. You’ll always have a piece of my
heart. But that’s it. Maybe, after enough time has passed, we could be friends
again. But I can’t promise that or anything more than that.”

He looks at the table, his shoulders slumped.

“I’m sorry Charlotte,” he says. “I screwed everything up.”

I don’t say anything, though part of me wants to tell him
that it’s okay. Everything will be okay. But it won’t. I know that. I can’t
tell him any differently. He stands up and walks over to me. He pauses a foot
away from me, and I look up into his face.

His face is so beautiful.
Every line,
every angle.
Every part of him except his heart.

“I am truly sorry for any pain that I’ve caused you. I hope
that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me. Believe me when I
say that everything I did, I did for you.”

I nod my head, acknowledging that I heard him. He wraps his
arms around me, pulling me against him.

“You’re the only person I have ever loved,” he tells me,
squeezing me tighter against his chest. “The only person I have ever given my
whole heart to. I believe that one day you’ll love me again.”

I try to pull away from him, but he keeps holding on.

“I know that you wouldn’t want me to, but know that I’ll
never stop loving you,” he whispers into my hair before releasing me.

He walks out before I can say anything, leaving me spinning.

“Wow,” Nicole says for the millionth time. “So what does
that mean? Do you think he’s going to stop?”

I shrug my shoulders, watching as she washes our clothing.
John told me I couldn’t do anything to aggravate my wrist. Nicole is doing them
for me because I’m starting to smell.
 

“I don’t know. It wasn’t clear,” I say again. We just talked
this morning. It was a total slap in the face. “And I’m not sure it would
matter if he did. He broke my trust. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to earn
it back.”

“Are you still mad at him?”

I hesitate.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m more confused than anything. But he lied
to me. I’m angry.”

Footsteps come this way, and I look over my shoulder to see
Alec coming. I can’t read the look on his face, but Nicole sighs.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, looking back at her laundry.

“Nothing is wrong. In fact,” he says, sitting down on a
fallen tree behind us, “something interesting just happened. Ricky told us that
all the scavenging
will
stop.”

I freeze, and Nicole looks at me, raising her eyebrows.

“Do you think he is serious about that?” Nicole says.

“Yeah. I think he is. I just can’t believe it,” Alec admits.

“What does that mean for your plan? Are you still wanting to
take over?”

Alec scratches his head. “I don’t know. I think we should
hold off for a little bit. If this change is genuine, it could mean a change in
his leadership. I just don’t know. I feel like we should take it easy. See what
he does.”

“I agree,” I chime in. “If Ricky stops scavenging, he would
be a good leader.”

Alec helps me to my feet as Nicole stands, tossing the last
of the laundry into the basket.

“Let’s give it a couple of days. See what happens,” Alec
says, rubbing his hand over his hair.

He walks back towards the base. Nicole and I look at each
other, shrug, and follow after him.

As we walk through the gate. The guards on duty ignore us,
shutting it after we get through. The sun is setting, putting a soft glow on
the world. It’s beautiful.

“I’m going to grab dinner,” Alec says. “You all want me to
bring you anything?”

“Yeah,” I say. “Whatever they serve.”

“The food sucks now that you aren’t cooking,” he warns
before walking out of the door.

“You’ve been slacking off these last couple of days,” Nicole
says, sitting down on the bed. “Are you going to start cooking again?”

“I don’t know. Probably,” I say, lowering myself slowly to
the ground. “I still want to be useful. John won’t clear me for a while.”

“He might if any more people get food poisoning,” she adds.
“I’m going to hang up the laundry.”

“Want any help?”

“I would if you could actually be helpful,” she says, giving
me a playful smile. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

I lie down and close my eyes, exhausted. I didn’t even do
anything, but I’m drained. My back is stiff and hurts when I try to relax it.
Taking a few deep breaths, my body stars relaxing. To relax me before a big
game, my mom would go through these meditation steps with me. She had such a
soothing voice. I start by tensing my toes, holding for ten seconds, and then
relaxing. Next, my feet, ten seconds, and relax. Calves, ten seconds, and relax.
I go up through all the muscles in my body, letting the tension ease away from
my body.

I start to drift, letting my mind wander, when a loud bang
cuts through the silence. I jerk awake, getting to my feet as I hear muffled
screams come from the other side of the door. More shots fire, seven or eight,
and the door opens. Nicole rushes in, slamming the door behind her.

The look of terror on her face answers the unasked question.
I can almost feel her shaking from here.

“It’s just like last time,” she says, her voice shaking.

“Do you know how many and where they are?” I ask, going to
the door.

“On the other side of the base,” she says, her white face.

“We need to go,” I say, opening the door and peeking out.

She grabs my arm and slams the door. “We can’t go out
there,” she says, blocking the door.

“
Nic
, if we stay here, they’ll
come and kill us,” I say, pushing her aside. “We need to get out of here. Ricky
has several places where he stashes weapons. We need to get there now.”

She hesitates, but I push her out from in front of the door
and grab her arm, dragging her behind me. I crouch down, taking in everything
around me. One of the buildings is burning; black smoke is clouding the air.

“Cover your nose and mouth,” I tell her, pulling up my own
shirt to cover my face.

The smoke burns my eyes as we move through it. Sounds of
yelling and screaming surround us, though I don’t see anyone doing the
screaming. I flinch as more shots slice through the screaming. I stumble over
something and look down to see one of our guards face down.

I swallow a scream and look back at
Nic
,
whose eyes are wide. I push on until we find the wall. My fingers fumble over
the bricks as I try to find the right spot. Four spots on the wall are marked
with crosses. The marks are so subtle so that no one else may see them, but for
those who know, they’re easy to find. Only Daren, Ricky, and I know about them.
They are the safeties in case something like this happens.

As my fingers run over the clay, bumps and sharp edges scrap
over my fingers until I find what I’m looking for. I follow the cross downwards
and feel the soil.

“Help me dig,” I tell
Nic
, praying
that the smoke keeps us hidden from whomever is shooting.

She kneels down next to me and helps me tear through the
dirt. Not even an inch down, I feel the box under my nails. I scrape along
until I find the edges. We dig out the top part of the box, and I rip off the
lid, tossing it behind me. I pull out the gun and hand it to her.

“Do you know how to use this?” I ask her.

She clicks off the safety and grabs two of the magazines out
of the box, slipping them into her pocket.

I grab the other gun; doing the same with the magazines,
leading her further along the wall. My right hand stays on the wall. I feel the
gritty texture under my fingers. I cough under my shirt, the smoke scratching
my lungs. To my left, the terrified screaming still fills the air. So many
women and children are out there. I don’t know what is going on. There haven’t
been enough gunshots for this to be purely execution based. Voices mix
together, and I can’t make out any distinct voices or words.

My hand runs off the wall into nothing. We aren’t close to a
gate and the stone is warm under my hand. I see that someone blew a hole
through the wall. I grab Nicole’s hand and pull her through. I look left and
right, but there are no signs of people.

“Why are we leaving?” she asks, her voice steady now.

“Ricky has a meeting place for us in case something like
this ever happened. There are more weapons there,” I tell her.

She nods her head, but she’s not okay. For her, it has to be
like reliving a nightmare. This has to be Razor’s group. It’s too close to the
Jackson encounter for it to be anyone else.

These people destroyed one community she lived in. Now
they’re threatening this one. If that scavenger, Jackson, recognized her, there
is a good chance that someone else here might too. I want to comfort her, but I
don’t have time. And I don’t know if everything is going to be okay.

My heart is furiously pounding, but my focus is razor sharp.
Two more gunshots ring out, and I flinch each time. Who has died?

Something about this is so off. Those walls were supposed to
keep us safe. Someone managed to get through them, but those walls also kept
people from being able to run away.

We reach the hideaway place where Ricky keeps all
of his guns, but even from here I can see the padlock glistening. Only Daren
and Ricky have the keys that open it.

We are just a few steps away when a hand covers my
mouth and pulls me against a rock solid body. The gun drops from my hand and
falls to the ground. To my surprise, it doesn’t go off. A knife goes to my
throat applying pressure so that I feel blood starting to fall. I start to
struggle, but stop when the knife goes deeper.

“Stop, it's Charlie!” Daren’s voice says, and the
hands release me. I fall forward into Daren’s arms. He is so dark that it’s
hard to see him in the thick smoke surrounding us. I turn to see Jack standing
there, his knife dark with my blood.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize it was you,” Jack says.
The ash that is in the air has darkened his face.

Daren balances me back on my feet. “Are you
alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, do you have the key?” I ask, standing up
straight. I now see that
Nic
is looking up at me from
the ground. I didn’t hear her fall. From the death stare that she’s giving
Daren, I’m guessing that she didn’t fall. I give her a hand; she grips right
above my wrist and uses me to pull herself up. She stands protectively next to me.

Daren pulls out the key as he glances around. Jack
pulls out an arrow and has his bow ready to go. Daren opens the shed and pulls
out another bow and quiver of arrows and hands them to me. I take them,
slinging the quiver over my back, testing the bow.

“You ‘member the lessons?” Jack asks, his eyebrows
coming together.

“Yeah,” I say. Daren gives Nicole a belt of knives
and pulls out one for him. As a general rule, Ricky never gives any type of
weapon to anyone who isn’t in the guard, but, in this case, Ricky doesn’t have
a choice.

“Where did you get these?” Daren asks, picking up
my gun.

“It’s one of the safeties,” I say, reaching for it,
but he keeps it out of my reach.

“We’re going to need to do this quietly, and Ricky
would kill me if I gave you a gun.”

“Where’s Ricky?” I ask once we are back in the
shelter of the trees.

“I don’t know. The shots killed two people, but
neither of them was
him
. He ran off to find you, and
we got separated,” Daren says, pulling out his gun and checking the clip. It is
fully loaded, plus he has four extra clips on his vest. I give him my two
magazines, and he adds them to his vest.

“If we are doing this quietly, why do you have all
that ammunition?” Nicole asks.

“We don’t know for sure the size of Razor’s group,
but we do think it’s larger than this. We don’t want people running back and
bringing back reinforcements,” Daren says.

“What’s the plan?” I ask.

“Jack and I are going to go in quiet,” Daren says
raising his hand, to cut me off before I start protesting. “You aren’t as
experienced in hand-to-hand combat, and we need someone up high to take people
out, starting from the outside and working inward.”

“Daren, my aim is decent,” I whisper. “But it would
make more sense for Jack and me to be up high and take out the people on the
edges. You and Nicole move in from the other side. We take them out quickly,
coming at them from both sides.”

“She’s right Daren,” Jack says. “Her plan makes
more sense. She’s playing to our strengths. Plus, we can’t leave Charlie alone.
It is better for her to be with one of us while this is going down.”

Daren smacks Jack in the stomach. “Ricky will kill
me if she gets hurt. If she goes in there, she is in the direct line of fire,”
Daren whispers.

“She’s safer with us than she is out here on her
own,” Jack argues, taking my side. “Besides we’re outnumbered. Fifteen to four
sounds a lot better than fifteen to two.”

Daren hesitates and then swears. “Charlie, you
better be careful. If you get hurt, Ricky’s
gonna
kill me.”

“I’m a big girl, I’ll be fine,” I tell him, my
feelings mixed. Excitement runs through my veins knowing that I am doing
something that Ricky would never let me do, but panic grips my stomach making
my throat tighten with anxiety. “Now, my plan or something else?”

I glance at Nicole. The shock has worn off, and she
seems more focused.

“Your plan,” Daren says. “We’ll do this as quietly
as possible; once our cover is blown, you can use the guns. Do your best to
make sure that no one gets away.”

“Got it,” Jack says. “Let’s go.”

Ricky never met with us. I know that means he is
either dead or being held hostage. I force the thought out of my mind. I need
to focus, and thinking of him won’t let me do that.