What Matters Most (16 page)

“Sure, we can certainly arrange that. Just let me know when you want her to come.”

“I’ll have to get her to agree, but I’m sure she’ll be eager to have the experience. Thanks. I’ll be in touch.”

“I have an idea, and I hope you’ll find it acceptable,” Jack told Melanie after they had taken care of all the patients.

“Half of our patients are children. Would you be willing to spend a month as a nurse-intern at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis? It would make all the difference to the children we take care of. I’d like you to observe patient care and the new treatments that are coming from the St. Jude research program. I can’t leave here for that long a time, but you could, and we can both benefit from your experience there. What do you say?”

“I’d give anything if I could go there, but who will help you here?”

“I don’t expect to find anyone better who’s willing to work down here. If I can’t get a nurse, I’ll get a medical student who’s on summer vacation. I should be able to get an LPN though. When can you leave?”

She looked at him as if he’d disappointed her. “What’s wrong?” he asked her. “Look. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, Jack, but…Are you sure this is what you want?”

The question didn’t make sense to him. He studied her for a few minutes. He hunkered in front of the chair in which she sat staring at her hands. “Melanie, I will miss you every second that you’re in Memphis, and I want you to know that no one can take your place, neither in this office nor here.” He pointed to his heart. The separation could prove to be what they both needed. At the end of it, they would either be starved for each other or greatly relieved.

“Don’t get any ideas about my replacing you,” he said. “Do you understand? It won’t happen.”

“I could be ready to go in a week,” she said, letting her hand stroke his hair.

He got up. “Wonderful. Let’s go someplace and get a slice of pizza. I’m starved.”

“Me, too, and I want some raspberry sherbet.”

“I want some peach sherbet,” he said, locked the office and walked with her to his car.

“This has been a fantastic day, Melanie. I’m going to call Alice Hawkins tomorrow morning with the good news for Midge.”

“Who’ll keep her other two children while she’s in Tennessee?” she asked him.

“Friends and neighbors promised to take care of the children. When you get there, Midge will be delighted to see a familiar face.”

Once seated at a small bistro table in the back of the pizza parlor, Jack said, “Six months ago, I would have headed for the club and eaten supper there. These days, I almost never remember that the place exists. There’s a saying that everything changes, and I suppose people also change. I know I have.

“My dad had a meeting at lunch today with the five men who’ve put up the money for the clinic, my lawyer and the two of us. It went so smoothly that I still can’t believe it. They’ll be silent partners—that is, they’ll have no say in clinic practices, policies and procedures. They will hold an annual fund-raiser culminating in a gala designed to attract men with money and women who want to show off their designer gowns. In addition, their names will appear on the letterhead of our stationery, which we will design as soon as you get back from Memphis.

“I’ve begun working with an architect on the building, which will be erected across the street from my office. It’s amazing how fast this thing got under way.”

“Yes, it is. I was afraid that because of our encounter with him last Sunday night, you father would decide not to help build the clinic. I’m glad he’s a bigger man than that.”

“He’s as anxious for its completion and operation as we are, and he thinks turning my office into a laboratory is a great idea. I’m considering converting the entire building. It’s only two stories.”

“Did your father mention our exchange?”

“You bet he did. But believe me I had my say. My dad and I can talk, and we can disagree without coming to loggerheads. It’s a good thing, too, because these days, we almost always disagree.”

After their supper of pizza and sherbet, he drove her home. Strangely, he had a need more urgent than ever to stay with her. The evening hadn’t been one in which they had embroiled themselves in heated passion, yet his need to give himself to her felt stronger than it had previously. If only she’d give him a clue, any sign, that she was ready to share her body with him without reservation, he’d do the rest. But he couldn’t push her, because he was her boss, and he didn’t want her to feel that he took advantage of her. He didn’t doubt that she wanted him and that she was physically ready to receive him, but she had reservations, and he didn’t want her to regret making love to him.

Melanie didn’t like the idea of leaving Baltimore for an entire month without telling her father where she’d gone. Yet, if she contacted him, her life would once more be as difficult as when she had lived in his home. For seven weeks, she had been free of his mean-spiritedness, and she had learned that she could be happy without seeing him or hearing from him. Days had passed when she hadn’t given him a thought. After musing over it, she decided not to contact him. She had much to do and only a few days in which to get it done, and dealing with her father would take more time than she had.

Jack thought he had his life where he wanted it, but that was because he was accustomed to having things always work out in ways that suited him. She wanted to tell him that, in the real world, you got bump after bump and kick after kick until your ship came in, and that happened only if you were lucky.

When he brought the Town Car to a stop in front of the building in which she lived, she wondered what he’d do and how she would respond when they got to her apartment door. She knew he wouldn’t pressure her, at least not obviously. And why should he? By now, he had to know how easily he could turn her on.

“Would you like some coffee?” she asked him.

His gaze lingered on her, holding her in its clutches while he considered his answer. “Thanks, but I’d better not have any coffee this late. I have surgery tomorrow morning, and it’s best that I sleep. I’m aware of the difference between ‘Do you want to come in?’ and ‘Would you like some coffee?’ and I appreciate your subtlety. I’d love to come in but I’d better be going.”

His grin didn’t communicate its usual warmth. “Let me hold you for a minute.” She opened her arms, parted her lips and received him with her heart. He released her, stepped back and stared at her.

“Did you mean that? Do you feel that way about me?” He gripped her shoulders. “Tell me.”

“I’ve never pretended with you, Jack. Never.”

He had her back in his arms, kissing her hair, cheeks, neck, face and ears. “When you come back from Memphis, we’ll sort this out for keeps. Don’t forget this—you’re precious to me. Good night.”

How could they sort it out for keeps? She was at once exhilarated and scared to death. “It’s time,” she said to herself. “It’s way past time.”

On his way home, Jack saw a convenience store that hadn’t closed, stopped and bought a copy of the
Maryland Journal
and drove on home. After showering and getting into bed, he opened the paper and was stunned to see his name in bold letters. “Dr. Jack Ferguson, noted cardiologist, will build a clinic in an impoverished section of South Baltimore. A consortium of five sponsors will be silent partners in the venture. They have established a foundation with sufficient funds to build and equip a state-of-the-art clinic. Ferguson is working with Harrington Brothers, Architects, Engineers and Builders to design the structure.” Jack folded the paper and closed his eyes, thinking that the story would help ease their problems in making the clinic a reality.

The next morning after performing surgery, Jack removed his scrubs, dressed and fell in step with one of the operating-room nurses. “I’ve got a nasty hangnail here. Could you please clip it off for me?”

“Glad to,” she said and walked with him into an examining room for a pair of scissors. “That was a good job you just pulled off. You must have nerves of steel.”

He hated being buttered up. He’d have been pleased if she’d said he did a nice job, and it would have been enough. He shrugged. “Don’t you believe it. I feel competent, but the only time I pray is when I’m about to operate. It’s a wonder the Lord pays any attention to me.”

Her raised eyebrows didn’t surprise him. “You’re joking,” she said. “I would never have imagined it.” She clipped off the hangnail on his right index finger and smiled. “There. It’s as good as new.”

Jack didn’t imagine that she held his hand longer than necessary, but he pretended not to notice. “Thanks, Ms. N. I’ll do the same for you.” He ignored her wide-eyed look and headed for the cafeteria. He’d gotten to the hospital too late to get his coffee and doughnut before going to the operating room. He went through the line in the cafeteria, found a table and sat down to a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, grapefruit juice and coffee. He’d had only two sips of coffee when his cell phone rang. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was five minutes to ten, thirty-five minutes before he was due at his Bolton Hill office.

“Ferguson speaking.”

“Oh, Jack. I just read the most marvelous news about you. Your new clinic is the perfect project for my Altalux Society. We’d do fund-raising, and you wouldn’t need any more volunteers. The members would take care of that.”

So she still hadn’t given up. “You mean to tell me, Elaine, that you’re willing to take care of patients in their homes, babysit children, drive patients to and from the clinic? I can’t believe you’ve changed that much.” He could almost see and hear her confusion.

“But…but your clinic won’t do that, will it? I mean, we could appear on radio and TV, do magazine ads, roll bandages and things like that.”

Laughter would have been too unkind. “Roll bandages, Elaine? What for? Thanks for trying,” he said, amused at her thinly veiled effort to resurrect what, in his view, had never existed, “but I don’t see a role for socialites in the clinic’s operations. I’m trying to help people, not to treat them as inferiors. If you’ll excuse me, I want to finish my breakfast before these eggs get cold. Be seeing you.”

He hoped not to hear from Elaine again, but he suspected that she was already looking for other ways to hold on to him. He wondered why a woman with her looks and background would be so willing to settle for a loveless relationship. How could social status and prestige mean more to a woman than a relationship with a man she loved and who loved her? It didn’t make sense. He finished eating, bought another cup of coffee, got into his Porsche and headed for his Bolton Hill office.

He flirted with the temptation to cancel his regular Wednesday lunch with his father because he was certain that Elaine would have called him, and he did not want any more flak from his dad about Elaine Jackson. However, he also didn’t feel like dealing with the aftermath if he canceled. His father liked to have his life run like a clock and, for him, a canceled luncheon date was tantamount to losing hours out of his life. Thank God he didn’t allow himself to be that regimented.

Montague Ferguson rose as Jack approached his table. “How are you, Dad?” He embraced his father and enjoyed the warmth of that fleeting moment.

“Feeling great, son. What about you? How are the building plans for the clinic coming along?”

Jack leaned back in the chair, strummed the table lightly and gazed at his father. Why did they always talk about whatever concerned the old man? He shrugged and let it fall off him as he’d always done. “The Harringtons know what I want, and they say they can deliver it to my satisfaction. So my task now is to engage a top-flight medical engineer who’ll help choose the machines and laboratory equipment. I have one in mind. He’s a consultant to the hospital administrators.”

“Good. The hospital has the latest and best of everything, so you won’t have a problem. I leave it to you.”

To his amazement, his father didn’t mention Elaine Jackson, but exuded excitement over the clinic, what it could accomplish and the possibility of encouraging other groups to sponsor similar facilities in other neighborhoods, cities and towns that needed the service.

“Son, you don’t know how proud I am that you’re going to head up this project. It’s not cardiology, but it’s medicine, and you’re still one of the best cardiologists practicing today.”

He could hardly believe his ears. His farther had always been stingy with praise and had poured very little on him. “I wouldn’t take it that far, Dad, but I sure am happy to know you’re proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish.”

“Nonsense! I’ve always been proud of you. Even as a little boy, you had some exceptional qualities. You know, son, a man’s pride is in his work, his woman and his kids. When your mother was alive, I had everything a man could want—success as a doctor, a good marriage to a wonderful woman and a son I was proud of.” He released a long and melancholy sigh. “I was happy then, and I knew it.”

Jack had never thought of his father as a man who needed consoling, but he realized that his father had grieved so deeply for his wife that he hadn’t been able to help his son accept the loss of his mother.
It’s a lesson I won’t forget,
Jack said to himself.
All these years, I blamed him, thinking him self-centered, but maybe I was unfair to him.

“I still miss her,” Jack said, keeping his voice soft in order to control the emotion he felt.

“Not more than I do,” Montague said. “I miss her softness and her gentle sweetness. Soft as she was, she had an inner strength that I haven’t found in anyone else. That’s the only kind of woman who appeals to me.”

That last comment relieved Jack’s somber mood. He wanted to laugh. Didn’t his father realize that the two of them liked the same type of woman, and that Elaine Jackson didn’t fit the mold? It also put his mind at ease about Helena Smith, because in his estimation that woman was about as soft as steel. When he bade his father goodbye at the end of their lunch, he walked with light steps, whistling as he headed for his car.