Read What to Expect the First Year Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
What to Expect the First Year (58 page)
You can't help but help your baby developâit's what parents do intuitively (with all that talking, singing, holding, cuddling, and of course all those games of “clap hands” and “stinky feet”). Here's a roundup of infant development and how to nurture your little one's progress the fun wayâwhich for babies is the only way:
Social development.
Your baby becomes a social being long before ever hitting the playground or joining a playgroupâmostly thanks to you, your baby's first, most important, and most favorite playmate. It's through interacting with you (and watching you interact with others) that your baby begins to learn giving and taking, caring and sharing, treating others the way you'd like to be treated, and all the rules of social engagement (including using those magic words, and practicing those p's and q's). Don't buy that baby's paying attention yet? Just wait: A few years from now, you'll hear your example echoed in that tiny voice as your little one plays with friends or talks to adults.
Toys that help babies with social development include stuffed animals, animal mobiles, and dollsâwatch your baby cooing with the animals prancing on a play mat or revolving on a mobile, and you'll see how.
Small motor development.
Right now your baby's hand movements are totally random, but in a couple of months, those tiny hands will move with more purpose and control. You can help develop those purposeful movements by giving your baby's hands plenty of freedomâdon't always keep them tucked into a blanket or swaddled or covered in mitts. Look for toys that don't require a lot of dexterity, that baby can manipulate inadvertently (shaking a wrist rattle or swatting at an activity board), and eventually, that those tiny hands and fingers can grasp and pick up (offer those from the side, since young babies usually won't reach for objects that are directly in front of them). Give your baby ample opportunity for “hands-on” experience with the following:
⢠Rattles that fit small hands comfortably. Start with wrist rattles, then move on to those with two handles or grasping surfaces, which will eventually allow a baby to pass the rattle from hand to hand, an important skill. Rattles a baby can mouth will help bring relief when teething begins.
⢠Play gyms or bars (they fit across a stroller, play yard, or crib) that have a variety of parts for baby to grab hold of, spin, pull, and poke. Avoid any, however, with strings more than 6 inches long, and take down any gym once your baby is able to sit up.
⢠Activity boards that require a wide range of hand movements to operate. Your baby may not be able to intentionally maneuver the toy for a while, but even a young infant can sometimes set it in motion accidentally. In addition to the spinning, dialing, pushing, and pressing skills these toys encourage, they teach the concept of cause and effect. Lights, sounds, and movements will captivate your little one.
Large motor development.
For your baby, getting a move on depends on freedom of movementâafter all, a baby who's always cooped up in a swing, baby seat, jumper, or stroller, or swaddled in a blanket or bunting, will have little chance to flex those mini muscles and practice those big motor moves. Change your baby's position often during the day (from propped in a sitting position, to tummy-down, to tummy-up) to maximize the opportunities for different kinds of physical activity. As baby's motor skills (and head control) rev up, put your little mover through the paces by making movement interactive: Gently pull baby to a sitting position (and give a kiss when he or she arrives), “fly” him or her in your arms to encourage those cute arms and legs to wiggle, or give your little one a ride by lying on your back, placing him or her facedown lengthwise on your shins, and slowly lifting your legs (knees bent) up and down. As baby gets closer to the rolling stage (around 3 to 4 months) give rolling over a boostâand a little motivationâby placing a favorite toy or eye-catching object at baby's side. Chances are your rock and roller will turn to the side a bitâand then you can give a little help by nudging baby all the way over (sweet success!).
Intellectual development.
Everything your baby sponge soaks up through those budding senses boosts brainpower, but your baby will learn the most from youâand, once again, from interactions that come naturally. Talk to your infant a lot, right from the start. Give names to objects, animals, and people your baby sees. Identify your eyes, nose, and mouth (and baby's hands, fingers, feet, and toes). Detail the groceries you're plucking from the shelf and plunking into your cart. Read nursery rhymes and simple stories, showing your baby the illustrations as you go. Expose your little one to a variety of settings (stores, the museum, the park). Even at home, vary your baby's point of view: Hold baby near a window or in front of a mirror, lay baby in the middle of the living room carpet to survey the action or in the middle of the bed (supervised) to watch you fold the laundry, or park the swing in the kitchen while you make yourself a snack.
The Third Month
This month, baby's finally starting to discover that there's way more to life than eating, sleeping, and crying. Not to say that babies this age don't do plenty of all of these (colicky infants generally keep up the late afternoon and early evening crying bouts until month's end)âjust that they've expanded their horizons to interests beyond. Like their own handsâas far as 2- and 3-month-olds are concerned, the most fascinating toys ever invented. Like staying awake for longer stretches of play during the day (and hopefully, staying asleep for longer stretches at night). Like keeping mommy and daddy entertained with adorable live performances of smiles, gurgles, squeals, and coos that make parenting well worth the price of admission. And with that said, enjoy the show!
Sleeping.
While your cutie's ever more alert, sleep is still job one. Naps continue to take up a considerable chunk of daylight hoursâa total of around 4 to 8 hours a day, usually divided among 3 or 4 daytime snoozes. Add in 8 to 10 hours of nighttime z's (not necessarily scored all in one stretch yet, of course), and you can expect your baby to sleep about 14 to 16 hours per 24-hour day, though some babies will sleep more, some less.
Eating.
It's all liquid, all the time when it comes to baby's menu. Keep in mind that bigger babies tend to drink more than smaller babies, though smaller babies may still tend to eat more often.
⢠Breast milk. Expect to nurse your little suckler around 8 to 10 times in a 24-hour period, though some babies may be nursing more often, and that's perfectly fine. Demand still rules the dayâand night. Though you won't be able to measure the amount going in (unless you're pumping every meal), your baby will be drinking somewhere between 15 and 32 ounces of breast milk a day.
⢠Formula. Your bottle-drinker will likely be taking in around 4 to 6 ounces at every meal. How many meals? Around 6 a dayâfor a total of 24 to 36 ounces of formula a day.
Playing.
Babies in their third month are still captivated by high-contrast patterns and bright colorsâso bring out the brightly hued play yard toys, infant play gyms, mobiles, and anything else your baby can bat at. A soft ankle or wrist rattle allows your little one to experiment with sounds that he or she can make. It's also time to add a (baby-safe) mirror to baby's play space, if you haven't already. Though babies this age don't realize they're looking at themselves in the mirror, they do find their own reflections fascinating and may even smile at that fellow cutie in the mirror!
You're ready to go back to work, but maybe you're not ready to stop breastfeeding. After all, the benefits of continued breastfeedingâfrom the physical (better health for baby) to the emotional (built-in close contact with baby before and after work)âcan be well worth any extra effort you'll need to make to make breastfeeding and working work. Luckily, once you get the hang of pumping on the job, you'll realize that being a breastfeeding, employed mother may not be such hard work after all.
You'll definitely have your hands full getting ready for your return to workâand not just full of baby. There's plenty of prep work to be done before your nursing and pumping plan is ready to roll out. Here's what you need to know to make breastfeeding and work ⦠work:
Bring on the bottle.
If you haven't already, get busy with the bottleâeven if you won't be heading back to work for a while. Typically, the older and wiser babies get, the less open they are to the bottle bait-and-switch. Once you've made the introduction, get baby used to taking at least one bottle feeding a dayâpreferably during what will soon be your working hours.
Get pumping.
Your first day back on the job will be stressful enough (even if you can find your shoes and your keys) without adding the strain of figuring out how to use a breast pump. So begin pumping a few weeks before you're due back at the office. That way, not only will you be a more confident pumper, but also you'll have started collecting a stash of frozen milk by the time you start collecting paychecks. Didn't manage to
get the head start you were hoping for? Don't let that stop you from moving ahead with your planâyou can play catch-up by pumping more frequently.
Do a couple of trial runs.
With childcare in place (if that's feasible), rehearse your workday game plan, doing everything as you would if you were really going to work (including expressing milk away from home), but leave the house for just a couple of hours the first time, longer the next. Finding out now about problems that might pop up is a lot better than finding out the morning you're due back on the job, and it'll give you time to figure out how they can be handled.
Start off slow.
If you're going back to a full-time job, you might try returning on a Thursday or Friday to give yourself a chance to get started, see how things go, and reevaluate as needed over the weekend. Beginning with a short week will also be a little less overwhelming than starting out with 5 days ahead of you.
Work part-time.
If you can swing a part-time schedule, at least at first, you'll be able to spend more time strengthening breastfeeding links. Working 4 or 5 half days is more practical than 2 or 3 full ones for several reasons. With half days, you may not have to miss any feedingsâand certainly no more than one a day. You'll have little trouble with leakage (your clothes will thank you), and probably won't have to do any on-the-job pumping (which means you'll actually get to drink coffee on your coffee break). Best of all, you'll spend most of each day with your baby. Working nights is another option that interferes very little with breastfeeding, especially once baby is sleeping through the night, but it can seriously interfere with two other very important commodities: rest and romance.
Scope out your workplace.
Once you're back on the job, finding the time and the place to pump can be a bit of a challenge, depending on your workplace. The logistics will be easier if you work in a large company that is required by law to accommodate working breastfeeding moms or at a smaller company that's enlightened enough to do this voluntarily. See
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Keeping these tips in mind can help you succeed, too.
⢠Dress for pumping success. Wear clothes that are convenient for pumping, or even designed for breastfeeding moms. Be sure your work tops can be lifted or opened easily for pumping at work, and that they won't be stretched out of shape or wrinkled by being pulled up or open. Whatever you wear, line your nursing bra with breast pads to protect your clothing, and carry an extra supply of pads in your bag to replace wet ones.
⢠Look for privacy. If you're able to pump behind the closed door of your office, awesome. Privacy problem solved. If not, look for an unused office or conference room, or a clean corner in the bathroom lounge. Keep in mind that if you're employed in a large company, the law's on your side when it comes to providing an appropriate place for pumping.
⢠Be consistent. Schedule permitting, try to pump at the same times every dayâas close as possible to the times you would be feeding your baby if you were home. That way your breasts will come to anticipate pumping (as they would anticipate nursing) and fill up with milk like clockwork.
⢠Plan for storage. Store freshly pumped milk in the refrigerator, clearly marked with your name. Or bring a cooler from home with ice packs, or use the cooler that came with your pump.
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for more on storing breast milk.
⢠Use promptly. When you get home, refrigerate the pumped milk, and have the care provider feed it to your baby the next day. This way you should always have a full day's supply in the fridge.