Set the mood. If possible, keep the door to the room closed, the lights low, and the room quiet to promote a relaxed and restful atmosphere. Soft music may also help (unless she’d rather watch TV; remember, she’s the boss). Continue encouraging relaxation techniques between contractions and breathing with her through the contractions—but don’t push if she’s not into them or if pushing the relaxation agenda is starting to stress her out. If distractions seem to help her, turn to cards or handheld video games, light conversation, or TV. But distract her only as much as she seems to want to be distracted.
Pump her up. Reassure her and praise her efforts (unless your verbal reassurance is making her more edgy), and avoid criticism of any kind (even the constructive type). Be her cheerleader (but keep it low-key—she probably won’t appreciate full-on exuberance). Particularly if progress is slow, suggest that she take her labor one contraction at a time, and remind her that each pain brings her closer to seeing the baby. If she finds your cheers irritating, however, skip them. Stick to sympathy if that’s what she seems to need.
Keep track of the contractions. If she’s on a monitor, ask the practitioner or the nurse to show you how to read it. Later, when contractions are coming one on top of the other, you can announce each new contraction as it begins—unless she starts to find that annoying. (The monitor may detect the tensing of the uterus before she can, and can let her know when she’s having one if she can’t feel them, thanks to an epidural.) You can also encourage your spouse through those tough contractions by telling her when each peak is ending. If there is no monitor, ask a nurse to show you how to recognize the arrival and departure of contractions with your hand on her abdomen (unless she doesn’t want it there).
Massage her abdomen or back, or use counterpressure or any other techniques you’ve learned, to make her more comfortable. Let her tell you what kind of stroking or touching or massage helps. If she prefers not to be touched at all, then it might be best to comfort her verbally. Remember, what feels good one moment might irk her the next, and vice versa.
Remind her to take a bathroom break at least once an hour if she doesn’t have a catheter. She might not feel the urge, but a full bladder can stand in the way of labor progress.
Suggest a change of position periodically; take her for a hallway walk, if that’s possible.
Be the ice man. Find out where the ice machine is, and keep those chips coming. If she’s allowed to sip on fluids or snack on light foods, offer them periodically. Popsicles may be especially refreshing; ask the nurse if there’s a stash you can help yourself to.
Keep her cool. Use a damp washcloth, wrung out in cold water, to help cool her body and face; refresh it often.
If her feet are cold, offer to get out a pair of socks and put them on her (reaching her feet isn’t easy for her).
Be her voice and her ears. She has enough going on, so lighten her load. Serve as her go-between with medical personnel as much as possible. Intercept questions from them that you can answer, and ask for explanations of procedures, equipment, and use of medication, so you’ll be able to tell her what’s happening. For instance, now might be the time to find out if a mirror will be provided so she can view the delivery. Be her advocate when necessary, but try to fight her battles quietly, perhaps outside the room, so she won’t be disturbed.
Phase 3: Transitional Labor
Transition is the most demanding phase of labor but, fortunately, typically the quickest. Suddenly, the intensity of the contractions picks up. They become very strong, 2 to 3 minutes apart, and 60 to 90 seconds long, with very intense peaks that last for most of the contraction. Some women, particularly women who have given birth before, experience multiple peaks. You may feel as though the contractions never disappear completely and you can’t completely relax between them. The final 3 cm of dilation, to a full 10 cm, will probably take place in a very short time: on average, 15 minutes to an hour, though it can also take as long as 3 hours.
You’ll feel plenty when you’re in transition (unless, of course, you’re numbed by an epidural or other pain relief), and may experience some or all of the following: