Authors: Dixie Lee Brown
“Reel in and untie that mooring line. We’ll head to shore.” Nate started the engine and let it idle in place.
They bottomed out at six feet from shore, and Nate grabbed the line, jumped into the shallow water, and dragged the boat onto the sand. Alex handed him the cooler, and he stood still while she used his shoulders to steady herself as she stepped out. They trudged through the sand toward a grassy spot with one spindly tree for shade. Too bad she didn’t think to pack a blanket for their little picnic. Oh well. Based on the fact she still couldn’t think of one thing to say to him, this would probably be a short break.
Nate set the cooler down in the shade and turned. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, of course not.” She tried to dismiss his question with a wave of her hand.
“What’s going on then?”
He’d probably laugh if she told him that his charming comment had left her speechless with an ache in her chest. Or worse . . . sympathy would sadden those intelligent blue eyes. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of our day. Okay?” She dropped to her knees in front of the cooler.
He knelt and turned her to face him. “Nope. This is too important. I’m not letting you off the hook. You were having a good time. What happened? I opened my big mouth and said something, didn’t I? You’re probably going to have to get used to that, but if you tell me what stupid thing I said, I promise I’ll apologize. Hell, you can even take a swing at me.”
A bubble of laughter caught her by surprise and burst from closed lips, completely stealing her annoyance and releasing the tension from the moment. She loved the way he faced each situation head-on, and it made her want to do the same. For the first time in . . . well . . . ever, Alex didn’t feel like she was on the outside looking in. Maybe her life wasn’t so far off track after all.
She forced down her stubborn grin. “You said I was the best time you’ve had fishing.”
Nate’s brows furrowed in confusion, and he scratched his head. “Yeah? I said it because it’s true. Why did that make you go all quiet?”
“It was . . . nice.”
Nate laughed. “Something wrong with that?”
“It’s just . . . not what I’m used to.”
“Well, that’s because
I
’m
not what you’re used to, and I like saying what I think. It’s not the end of the world that you couldn’t rally that sharp tongue of yours to zing me with something.” He shifted closer, and his big hands splayed around her waist. “For your information, fishing isn’t the only thing I’ve done with you that’s been my best time ever.”
Alex giggled at the way his eyebrows waggled and the impish glint in his eyes. That he actually thought she was his best time in bed brought the threat of tears behind her eyelids.
“If you’re going to spend more time around me, and I hope you will, you should be prepared because I look for the good in people and I’m likely to say something
nice
at any moment. I’m a complete sap, and I get all emotional at the drop of a hat. I want you to know how I feel.” Nate brought his lips close to hers, one brow rising comically. “Like—I love the way you kiss.”
A short laugh escaped before he covered her mouth with his. He was smiling when he raised his head, and Alex’s heart soared with ridiculously inappropriate joy, but though she didn’t understand it, she didn’t try to squelch it either.
“Can we eat now? I’m starving.” Nate sat on the grass.
Alex cracked open the cooler, handed him a beer and a sandwich, and ripped into a bag of chips, which she settled on the ground between them. She ate sitting close enough that his arm brushed against her whenever he moved and didn’t once think of shifting farther away. What had gotten into her?
Nate cleaned up the empty bottles and napkins, stuffing everything in the cooler and reclined on the grass, pulling the brim of his cap over his eyes. Then he held out his arm, inviting her to lie on his shoulder, and Alex accepted without hesitation.
He nuzzled her ear and kissed her lips. “Did I mention that sandwich was the best I’ve ever had?”
Alex slapped his stomach, and he jumped with a loud groan. “That’s enough
sweet
for one day.”
“Damn, woman. I liked it when you were speechless.” He grinned and grabbed her hand.
The smile on Alex’s face slowly died. She liked Nate—way too much. She enjoyed being with him, but she wasn’t right, and her proximity might endanger him. That wasn’t something she was prepared to live with. Hatred roiled within her—for the man who stole her childhood and would now steal her future as well. It wasn’t fair, but she was caught in a web of his making. The man’s face was only a blur—but she’d never forget what he’d done.
Nate’s arm tightened around her and his puzzled gaze sought hers. She tried to relax the tension that had gathered in her muscles, but it was too late.
“What are you thinking about? And don’t tell me
nothing.
” Nate rose up on one elbow and hovered over her.
Alex almost laughed. Without the word
nothing
at her disposal, she had nowhere to go. She could lie. No. Not to Nate. He deserved the truth, even if after hearing it he never looked at her the same again. She made up her mind, and a rock settled in her stomach.
She looked unflinchingly into his gorgeous blue eyes. “Do you still want to hear about Hong Kong?”
“Only if you’re ready to tell me.”
She dragged her gaze from his and focused on a broken branch about two-thirds of the way up the spindly tree they lay under. Who would ever have thought today, with its peaceful beginnings turning abruptly to violence, would be the day she’d trust someone enough to tell her story? Dr. Grayson would be impressed.
“Four years ago, I woke up and started remembering. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say I stopped forgetting. I have no memory of anything that happened before that day. I don’t know how I came to be a prisoner in a brothel or what my life was like before that.” She waited for Nate’s shocked reaction, but he didn’t move or utter a word.
“There were regular prostitutes who worked the house, but there were other young girls like me, held captive in small cages, drugged, and forced to satisfy the special guests of Hu Sun. He was a vicious man. He thought it was his right to beat, starve . . . and rape us. Many of the others were younger than me.” She choked on the words finally and had to stop. The filth, the screams, the mind-numbing fear rolled over her like she was still there. The children’s faces—she’d never forget their desperation and hopelessness. She started to shake and there was nothing she could do to stop.
Nate moved closer. “I’m right here, Alex. You’re safe. I promise.”
She accepted his warmth, taking what strength she could from him. He had to hear this—had to know what she really was—even if he couldn’t look at her afterward. She took several deep breaths before she could force herself to continue.
“I soon learned Hu Sun had been using me for something even worse. Experimenting with mind-control drugs. Apparently, he thought I was a perfect candidate, and if the tracks on my arms were any indication, he’d been at it for some time. The women who’d been there for a while had been able to tell Joe that I was thirteen when I was brought there. For three and a half years, I’d done whatever Hu Sun commanded, and I couldn’t remember anything.” The unknown haunted her nightmares every time she closed her eyes. What despicable acts had she been forced to commit? How many people had she killed? The horror permeated her soul and a groan was wrenched from deep inside. She didn’t realize she was crying until Nate wiped her tears with his thumb.
He leaned over her, covering half of her body, his hand resting protectively on her stomach. “It’s okay, darlin’. You don’t have to say any more.”
“No.” Alex struggled to talk through her tears. “I want you to know. I have to tell you.”
“Okay. I’m listening.” Nate kissed her tenderly on the forehead and pulled her closer.
She waited until she’d stopped crying. “I didn’t know what was happening the first time they strapped me to a table, injected me with something, and played a recording of Hu Sun’s voice over and over again.” She’d been so scared and disgusted by the graphic details of murder she’d been forced to listen to. She’d had no idea it was about to get worse. “The next thing I knew, I had a dagger in my hand, and I went into one of the rooms and killed a man named Chin whom I’d never laid eyes on before. Then I went back to my room and fell asleep. Only this time when I woke, I could remember.” Her voice cracked and she paused. That memory had made her physically sick, suddenly aware that she’d become something so vile she didn’t deserve to live.
“Remembering was a mixed blessing. I had no control over my actions, but suddenly, I knew what I was doing—things so evil and hideous I couldn’t stand to look at myself in a mirror. On the other hand, once I knew, not a day went by where I didn’t plan how I would kill Hu Sun and escape.
“Those were the darkest days of my life. I knew what I was doing . . . knew it was wrong . . . and couldn’t stop myself. I fought against the drug as hard as I could. Some days it seemed as though its effectiveness was weakening, but I couldn’t break its hold. I’ll never forgive myself for those people that I knew I was murdering. I couldn’t save them.” The unbearable sadness crashed into her, stealing her breath away, as it had so many times before. Nate’s presence—his total acceptance in spite of what she was—gave her comfort. But the judgment she’d feared for so long would come eventually, and God help Nate if he was anywhere around.
“Then one day they injected me and gave me instructions, but when they handed me my dagger something was different. The tape wasn’t still running in my mind, and the uncontrollable urge to go and fulfill my mission was only a nagging question. I remember wandering aimlessly for a time and then I heard shooting and screams. Confusion broke out, people running everywhere.” It had been the beginning of the end, and the memory still made her breathe a little faster and her heart pound with anticipation.
“It was Joe and his team. They’d broken through the back door, but some of Hu Sun’s men had them pinned down. The Americans were trapped in one of the wings. I overheard Hu Sun’s plan. They were going to drop canisters of gas through the vents and when the Americans passed out, they would shoot them. I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t know who these Americans were or why they were there, but if Hu Sun was their enemy, then I would be their friend. If I could somehow help these men, I thought I could redeem myself. I didn’t know then that Joe, Jimmy, Walker, and the rest of the team were there to help me—to set me and the other young girls free.
“Hu Sun still thought I was under his control. Seven of his men were dead before he figured it out. But he got away.” There it was. The biggest regret of her life. As long as Hu Sun lived, she’d never be completely free.
Alex turned to Nate again and registered the barely controlled fury in his eyes. Anger was nothing new to her. She hated Hu Sun with every ounce of her strength. Nate’s outrage was a soothing balm to her soul, but it didn’t change anything.
“If I could find Hu Sun again, maybe I’d be able to locate my family.” Anyway, that’s what she’d told Joe to convince him to look, but, so far, he’d had no luck. She
would
ask Hu Sun about her parents and what her life was like before he destroyed it if she ever got the opportunity—right before she killed him.
Because Hu Sun deserved to die for her sins as much as she did, and no one would stop her from making that happen—not even Nate. And then it would be her turn to atone for the lives she’d taken.
I
T TOOK ABOUT
thirty seconds for her meaning to sink in. Incredulous, Nate’s gaze locked on hers. “No, no. No way in hell!”
Her eyes, dark and stormy, telegraphed her intentions as clearly as if she’d spoken them. Unconsciously, the volume of his voice rose until he was yelling. As though that weren’t bad enough, he grabbed her shoulders and nearly gave in to his desire to shake some sense into her.
She rolled away and came to her knees, surprise and wariness in every tensed muscle. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re
not
going after Hu Sun.”
Clearly nervous, she glanced toward the lake. “I didn’t say I was going after him.” She met his gaze again, and sad brown eyes begged him to let it go.
“You didn’t have to say it. It’s written all over your face.”
She smirked, and her chin trembled. “You can’t stop me.”
The hell he couldn’t. He’d hog-tie her and keep her behind locked doors if he had to. Suddenly, he clambered to his feet, turned his back, and stomped a couple of steps away as the similarity of his answer to the problem blended with the story of her captivity. No, damn it! He
couldn’t
stop her, and even though the knowledge infuriated him, he understood . . . even identified with the way she felt.
He braced his hands on his hips. She was talking about premeditated murder. He was a cop—he should stop her for that reason alone.
Alex was a smart and patient woman. He couldn’t be with her 24/7. If she was dead set on seeking revenge, she’d find a way to accomplish her mission. That was her business, but he couldn’t stand around and watch while she got herself killed, which was what she’d be doing if she went after Hu Sun by herself.
Nate leaned over and grabbed the cooler. “Let’s head back.” He didn’t wait to see if she followed, but she wasn’t far behind when he reached the boat. He caught her elbow and helped her step over the side, then pushed the boat into deeper water and jumped in.
The afternoon sun baked him as they headed west to reach the marina. Alex sat stiffly on the bench seat in the center of the boat. From Nate’s position aft, he couldn’t see her face, but he could easily imagine the betrayal that lingered in her eyes. Silky black hair fluttered in the breeze.
Shit! She just wanted you to listen, asshole.
Instead, he’d jumped all over her . . . and not because he thought she was wrong, but because he was afraid she’d be hurt or killed. His boneheaded mistake screwed everything up. He should have known he couldn’t change her mind and that acting as though he wanted to control her was the worst thing he could have done.
Val had told him she couldn’t live through every day of the rest of her life waiting for the phone call that would tell her he’d been killed in the line of duty. He’d been sure she was overreacting . . . that she was only looking for an excuse to get out of their relationship, but now the dread settling in his chest suggested her argument might have had some merit. The possibility of Alex being killed, or worse—that she might disappear again in the pursuit of her revenge—ripped at his guts.
Was he falling for the black-haired beauty? Nate shook his head slowly as a pathetic smile hitched one corner of his mouth. He’d sworn never to put himself in that position again. Yet he exhibited all the symptoms of a fool in love, and not only that . . . he was the one on the other side of the aisle this time, objecting to Alex walking into a dangerous situation.
Did that mean Val had been right to ask him to leave the force? Hell, no. He would never accept that. Alex’s cause was different. It was on the wrong side of the law for one thing—but it was likely just as important to her as his job was to him. He had no right to expect her to forget about the madman who’d made her life hell for so many years. Revenge wasn’t the miracle cure she apparently thought it was, but it was her choice to make. If he really cared about her, he’d figure out a way to help her stay alive. His time with Alex was just beginning. He wasn’t willing to let it end yet.
But what was he going to do about it? He didn’t blame her for being upset with him. She’d finally trusted him enough to reach out, and he’d acted like a complete ass. Heaven only knew what she’d require before forgiving him. It didn’t matter. He’d throw himself on her mercy if necessary.
The sun was casting long shadows across the water while they putted toward the marina as fast as twenty-five horses could take them. Another fishing boat paralleled them for a while, and then cut across their stern, heading for the nearby shore and a ramp with boats lined up ready to call it a day. Behind them, Nate heard the bawl of a jet boat engine, cranked to the max, and could just make out the rooster tail it left in its wake as the driver did serpentines in the middle of the lake. Probably drunk, the jerk didn’t seem to care that he was nearly swamping the smaller crafts as he raced by.
They rounded a small spit of land, and the marina came into view. Ben looked like a stick figure as he knelt on the dock behind the store, doing whatever it was he did. Nate still wasn’t sure the old man’s elevator went all the way up.
His gaze played over Alex again. So soft and vulnerable, yet so strong. She wouldn’t forgive his stupidity easily, but he was nothing if not persistent. As soon as they docked . . .
The roar of the jet boat had taken on a different tone. Nate turned to glance back. Five hundred yards or so behind them, the boat was now on a straight path, apparently heading for the marina, and hauling ass. Nate scowled. It was going to get rough in their small craft as they rode the wake of the larger boat.
Alex glanced over her shoulder, and her eyes widened as the jet boat bore down on them.
Nate reached for her hand. “Get down in the bottom of the boat.”
She swung her legs over the seat until she faced him and slid off onto the floor. The next instant, a hail of bullets peppered the gunwale of their boat.
“Shit! Give me your hand.” Nate grabbed her wrist and, before she could object, pulled her with him as he leaped for the water on the port side. The jet boat screamed by on the starboard with two armed men on board.
Alex apparently inhaled a mouthful of water and came up trying to cough up a lung. Nate flipped her around so her back was to him, slid his arm around her waist, and held her head above the water as he latched on to the side of the boat. In front of them now, the large motorboat made a sharp turn and came at them again.
Alex’s coughing had subsided for the most part, and she squirmed out of his arm, grabbing the gunwale beside him. “Is it Diego?”
“I don’t know. Can you hold your breath long enough to get to the other side of the boat?” There was only one other person it could be, and if it was Daniels, Alex was going to have his head for not warning her of the threat a long time ago.
The other boat was bearing down on the port side this time. Nate drew his gun, hoping like hell it would actually fire. “Get ready. When I say go, swim under the boat and grab on to the other side.”
Alex shook her head. “I’ll stay with you.”
“Darlin’, they’re gonna have to get a lot closer for you to use that dagger, and I’d like to make sure they don’t get that close. But the first chance we get, I’m teaching you to shoot.” He practically had to shout over the rumble of the jet engine. “Go. Now.”
Alex took a deep breath and slid beneath the water. Nate raised his weapon and waited for a clear shot. As the boat pulled alongside, the passenger opened fire, and the water around Nate came alive with near misses. He waited until they were straight across from him before he emptied the clip of his semiautomatic into the bow. The passenger clutched his chest and slumped to the deck.
Nate swam beneath the fishing boat and came up beside Alex. So far, so good, but now he was out of ammo. He’d wounded one of them. Would that be enough to discourage them? The jet boat made a wide turn and headed back toward them. Guess that answered his question.
Alex met his gaze. “What now?”
“Well, we can both hide behind this boat until they put a bullet in the gas tank and blow it up, or we can swim for it.” Nate wouldn’t give a plugged nickel for either of those options, but that was the best he had at the moment.
The shock in Alex’s eyes clearly said she thought his ideas sucked, but she was quick to pick one. “If we go under the boat again when they get close and swim for shore, maybe by the time they turn around, come back, and realize we’re gone, we’ll be far enough away they won’t see us. It’s not much of a chance, but we can’t just wait here for them to kill us.”
She was a fighter. He loved that about her. He moved close to her, his gaze searching her face and coming to rest on her lips. He bent toward her and kissed her gently. There were tears in her eyes when he leaned away.
The jet boat was approaching the stern. Nate grasped her hand. “Time to go.”
Alex nodded before they both inhaled a deep breath.
Suddenly, the jet boat’s engine cut to an idle. Nate glanced up in time to see the front end of the craft settle into the water fifty feet off the stern. “What the hell are they doing now?”
“Heave to and prepare to be boarded.” The voice over a bullhorn ripped across the water.
Nate spun around. “Well, I’ll be damned.” Crazy old Ben approached their bow in an old wooden boat with a flashing light mounted on the cabin. It had been enough to get the driver’s attention in the other boat, but he surely wouldn’t be impressed for long.
Ben must have been thinking something similar. As he pulled alongside Nate and Alex, he raised his pump action shotgun and pulled the trigger, spraying the hull of the jet boat. The driver put it in reverse, but not before Ben got off another shot, at least part of which hit its target. Holding one arm close to his side, the driver whipped the boat around, opened it up, and quickly disappeared.
Alex let out a whoop. “Ben, I could kiss you right now.”
“I might just take you up on that, young lady.” Ben laughed.
Nate lifted Alex so she could climb into the fishing boat. “You crazy old coot. What took you so long?”
“Well, hell. Nothing works on this boat but the light. I had to use a trolling motor to get out here.”
Nate glanced at Alex and they both burst out laughing. Then, as though she suddenly remembered their argument, she fidgeted and looked away as her laughter died.
Nate sighed. “Ben, let’s get that piece of junk back to the dock before our friends come back.”
“I don’t think those two were in any shape to try again. Who were they anyway?” Ben set his shotgun aside.
“Never saw them before. I was hoping maybe you’d know.” Both of those guys were Caucasian, and they weren’t sleazy enough for Diego’s crew. They reminded him of the men Daniels had with him the night in the bar, but if they worked for Daniels, why were they trying to kill him? He couldn’t find the notebook if he was dead. Or maybe that wasn’t their intention. After all, he’d made a good target treading water. No one could be that bad a shot.
“Nope, but I’ll ask around.” Ben turned the wooden boat and headed slowly home.
Nate started the Evinrude and kept pace with him, just in case Ben was wrong about the bad guys returning.
Alex was quiet all the way back to the marina. When they pulled alongside the dock, she caught the line, climbed onto the wooden planks, and tied the boat. Silently and without looking in his direction, she waited until he set the two tackle boxes on the dock, picked them up, and started toward the motor home.
Nate helped Ben tie off his boat. “Thanks, Ben. I owe you one.”
Ben gave a wave as he started to walk away. “I keep an eye out for my friends.”
A large dollop of guilt made Nate feel about two inches tall. The old man considered them friends, and his quick thinking clearly saved their lives while all Nate had found time to do was grumble about the antique FBI agent. He shook his head as he turned back to his boat. Grabbing the cooler, the fishing gear, and the stringer of Alex’s fish, he stepped out of the boat. He made a quick stop inside the store to gift the fish to Ben and then continued on to the RV.
Alex’s gaze swept over him as he opened the door and climbed the two steps to stand just inside. He stopped and studied her, trying a smile. It couldn’t hurt, right?
The corners of her mouth tipped up slightly, and damned if his heart didn’t pound a little faster for a few seconds.
“I’m sorry,” they both said, and then laughed.
Amusement sparkled in her eyes as he crossed the space between them. He stopped when they were almost touching and caressed her chin as he guided her eyes to his.
She raised her hand and laid her fingers lightly across his lips. “So much has happened; I had to really think to remember what we argued about. It doesn’t seem quite as important now, but I don’t want you to worry. Do you know what the odds of me ever finding Hu Sun are?”
If anyone could find him, Nate had no doubt it would be she, especially if she talked Walker into pointing her in the right direction. “Will you promise me one thing? If you do run across him, will you come and get me before you go after him?”
A pensive expression stole over her features, and she watched him for a moment. Finally, she nodded. “Yes, I will, Detective Sanders.”
He drew a deep breath and forced himself to hold her gaze. “Now I’ve got a confession.
She threw him a quizzical smile. “Do tell.”
“Those men in the boat—there’s a good chance they work for Daniels.”
“Do you really think he’d go this far to find you?” A confused frown furrowed her brow.
“Us . . . he’s after us . . . and he called before we left Portland to tell me he wasn’t through with either of us.”
“And you waited until now to tell me? Why?” A hurt expression invaded her eyes.
“God, I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was going to tell you as soon as we got home. I was sure we wouldn’t have to deal with him until then, and I didn’t want you to worry.” Nate raised his hands. “Go ahead—I deserve it.”
Alex was silent for several seconds before a smile replaced her frown. “Okay.”