Wheel of Misfortune (3 page)

Sir Verm, tall and thin, stepped into the middle of the square made by the benches. His white silk cape was lined with red fur that matched his red hair.

“Welcome to Knights Noble Conservatory,” the headmaster said. “Welcome to the Brain-Power Tournament. I’d like each team captain to stand now and introduce his team.” He turned to his KNC boys. “Chauncy? Why don’t you begin?”

Chauncy stood. “I am Chauncy,” he said. “My team members are Launcy, Flauncy, and Delauncy. And this is our coach, Sir Worthington-Smyth.”

The boys and the coach stood as their names were called.

“I’d like to add,” said Chauncy, “that KNC has won the Brain-Power Tournament for the last ninety-nine years. And tomorrow we are going to make it a hundred!”

The KNC boys clapped. Chauncy sat down.

Next, a boy in a green DSP tunic stood up. “I’m known as 200,” he said. “These are my teammates, 170, 180, and 195. And this is our coach, Professor Plum.”

Each DSP boy stood as his number was called.

“Most unusual,” said Sir Verm. “Why do you go by numbers, 200?”

“The numbers are our IQs,” explained 200. “Mine is highest. So I am captain. But anything over 150 is considered genius level.”

200 sat down.

Wiglaf leaned toward Erica. “I knew they were smart,” he whispered.

Erica shrugged again. “Numbers never tell the whole story,” she said as a KRU boy stood up.

“I’m Lance,” he said.

“Ah! Any relation to our most famous alum, Sir Lancelot?” asked Sir Verm eagerly.

“No, but one of these days I shall challenge Sir Lancelot to a duel,” said Lance. “And when I win, I shall be the most famous Lance.”

Erica rolled her eyes. “What an oversized ego!”

“My teammates,” Lance went on, “are Spike, Duke, and Moose.”

The KRU boys stood and flexed their muscles.

“And this is Coach Bruiser,” Lance added.

The KRU coach flexed his muscles, too.

Now the headmaster turned to the DSA team. His eyes came to a stop at Daisy.

“This is no ordinary pig,” Wiglaf said quickly. “Her name is Daisy. She speaks. And she is very well-read, which is why we made her our coach.”

“Ello-hay, Ir-say Erm-vay,” said Daisy.

“Good King Ken’s britches!” the headmaster exclaimed.

“Sir?” said Chauncy. “No team has ever had a pig for a coach before. I think DSA should be disqualified.”

“What?” Erica leapt to her feet. “Show me where it says
no pig
coaches
in the rule book!”

“Having a pig coach is unusual,” said the headmaster. “But it is not against the rules. Now, where is your captain?”

Bragwort stood and gave his name. “I could win this contest on my own,” he said. “But the rules say there must be four team members. So I must put up with Eric, Angus, and Wiglaf.”

The three stood as their names were called. Wiglaf saw that the KNC boys had their hands over their mouths to keep from giggling. The KRU boys were not even trying to hide their laughter. Wiglaf felt his face grow hot. Maybe they were a ragtag bunch. But Wiglaf vowed to show the other schools that DSA was a force to be reckoned with!

“Now we know who’s who,” said the headmaster as the DSA team sat down. “The tournament begins tomorrow morning at nine o’clock. Now, off you go, men. And tomorrow, may the best team win!”

“Wait a minute, sir!” Erica called out. “We have not yet gone over the tournament rules.”

“Oh, you’ll catch on, DSA,” said Sir Verm. “Not that it really matters,” he went on. “Odds are that KNC will win.”

The KNC boys nodded. Wiglaf thought they did not even seem very excited about winning. They acted as if they knew they were going to win. And the tournament had not yet started!

“Now, if there are no more questions, you’re dismissed,” said Sir Verm. “Get a good night’s sleep, men!”

Daisy, Erica, Angus, Wiglaf, and Bragwort made their way slowly back to Suite D. No one said anything on the way. Things did not look promising for the DSA team.

Erica lit the torch inside their chamber.

They all sat down on their cots. Silently, they took out what was left of their eel meal. Wiglaf shared his with Angus and Daisy. His pig was the only one who seemed happy with her fare.

“I know how we can win,” Bragwort said, breaking the silence.

“How?” asked Wiglaf.

“I
shall answer all the questions,” Bragwort replied.

“Oh, go soak your head, Bragwort,” Erica said. “We are a team. We shall work together.”

“Do you not want to win?” Bragwort cried.

“Not like that,” Erica replied. “Besides, we all know different things. For example, if there are questions on knighthood or jousting or armor, then
I
shall be the one to answer. And Angus shall answer if the category is food. And—”

“Do not talk of food!” Angus pleaded.

Wiglaf very much wanted to hear what category Erica thought he might answer. He had not done well on the S.A.T.-M.E. He was worried about doing his part for his team in the tournament. But Bragwort kept interrupting, so Erica never had a chance to say.

At last Erica snuffed out the torch. They all lay down on their cold stone cots.

“Get a good night’s sleep. Ha!” Angus grumbled.

Daisy gave the DSA team more brain stretchers. Soon the sound of her soft Pig Latin lulled them all to sleep.

“
B
reakfast!” Angus cried as he rolled out of bed the next morning. ”I need breakfast!”

Wiglaf dressed quickly. Then he and the others followed Angus out of Suite D. Angus followed his nose to the KNC dining hall. But when he saw the chalkboard with the breakfast menu outside the door, he stopped short.

“Noooo,” Angus moaned.

“Rotten luck,” said Erica.

Just then a man in a white chef’s hat hurried over to them.

“You must be from DSA,” he said.

“We are,” Angus said. “Pray, kind sir, have you nothing for breakfast beside eel, eel, eel?”

“Nothing.” The cook smiled. “I am Frypot’s cousin, Halfbake. Frypot sent me the message yesterday. He said eel would make you feel right at home here at KNC.”

Angus let out a groan.

“Thank you,” Wiglaf managed.

The DSA team skipped breakfast. Hungry and cranky, they made their way to the gym.

“This is your fault, Wiglaf,” Angus said. “Never insult Frypot’s lumpen pudding.”

“Sorry,” Wiglaf muttered.

Wiglaf, Angus, Erica, and even Daisy gasped as they walked into the gym. The place was full of people! KNC fans filled the benches in the biggest section. They wore white caps with red plumes and waved red-and-white flags.

The next section was filled with Dragon Stabbers’ Prep fans. They held large green cards. Wiglaf saw that letters on them spelled out, Go, BRAINIACS!

Six cheerleaders stood near the KRU fans.

“Gimme a K!” the cheerleaders yelled.

“K!” shouted the KRU fans.

“Gimme an R!”

“R!”

“Gimme a U!”

“U!

“What’s it spell?”

The KRU fans were silent. They scratched their heads, thinking hard.

“You can do it!” yelled the head cheerleader.

At last a fan called out, “K-R-U!”

“Yes!” screamed the cheerleaders. “What’s it stand for?”

“Knights-R-Us!”

“Not a very clever cheer,” Erica commented.

Wiglaf glanced at the fourth section of seats. A sign on the wall said DSA. But every bench in the DSA section was empty. Mordred had not sent a single fan to cheer them on.

“We must hold our heads up high as we walk to our places,” Erica whispered to the team.

“Hey!” said Bragwort. “I’m the captain. I’m supposed to say things like that.”

“Go ahead,” said Erica.

“Um...heads up,” Bragwort told the team.

Wiglaf tried to look proud as he marched. He felt the eyes of everyone in the room on them. He followed his teammates up a set of stairs onto the stage. They sat down on the bench labeled DSA. Daisy sat on the floor next to Wiglaf. A bell hung from a rope in front of the teams. Wiglaf thought it looked a bit closer to the KNC team than to any of the others.

Wiglaf looked over his shoulder. The red knight and the white knight stood at the back of the stage holding a large wheel. Beside them, a scoreboard listed the four teams. Otto sat on the side of the stage holding a horn, a drum, and a gong.

Wiglaf glanced at the DSA seats again.

“Zounds!” he exclaimed, pointing to a lone fan. “Brother Dave has come!”

The DSA team waved to the monk.

Brother Dave smiled and waved back.

“Thou can win!” he called.

Now Sir Verm strode to center stage.

“Welcome to the One-Hundredth All-Schools Brain-Power Tournament,” he said. “Today, these young scholars shall match wits with one another. I think I can promise you an exciting contest. I know one team is in peak condition.” He smiled at the KNC boys. They beamed back at him.

“Playing favorites already,” Angus muttered.

“O-nay idding-kay,” muttered Daisy.

“The categories in our tournament are chosen at random from lists of questions submitted by faculty members from each school,” said Sir Verm. “And now, let me introduce the gentleman who has been hosting our tournament for a quarter century, Harkbert!”

The fans clapped and screamed as the famous host Harkbert walked onto the stage. He wore a shiny black cape.

“Greetings students and teachers!” said Harkbert. “Greetings coaches and teams! And now, let the tournament begin! KNC?” He nodded toward the home team. “I believe you always start things off.”

Chauncy stood up.

Otto began beating on his drum.

“Knights!” called Harkbert. “The wheel, please!”

T
he red knight and the white knight stepped forward holding the big wheel. Wiglaf saw six categories written on it. But before he had a chance to read them, Chauncy gave the wheel a spin. Then he sat down.

Around and around the wheel went. At last it stopped. An arrow at the top of the wheel pointed to NAME THAT HERO.

“The first question in each category is worth ten points,” Harkbert explained. “The second question, twenty points. The third question, thirty points. And so on up to the fifth question. The first scholar to ring the bell gets a chance to answer the first question. If he answers correctly, his team continues answering questions until they miss one. Then the question is thrown open to the other teams.”

Harkbert cleared his throat.

“This hero slew twelve mean, nasty-smelling dragons in the year 289,” he said. “He was known as Sir Dirty Dozen. For ten points, name that hero!”

Wiglaf had no idea who this ancient hero might be. Clearly the questions at this tournament were going to be very hard.

But Delauncy sprang up right away. He rang the bell.

“Sir Dirk of Dirkingsmop,” he called.

“Correct,” Harkbert said.

“Atta boy, Delauncy!” called Sir Verm.

Wiglaf was impressed.

A page ran over to the scoreboard. He hung a 10 under KNC. The KNC fans called:

“A hero is buried in Sir Mandrake’s tomb,” said Harkbert. “For twenty points, name that hero!”

What an easy question!
thought Wiglaf.

Launcy rang the bell and yelled, “Sir Mandrake!”

“Correct!” cried Harkbert.

The KNC score rose to 30.

“This hero’s name begins with the letter L. Part of his name is also the name of a weapon,” said Harkbert. “For thirty points, name that hero!”

Wiglaf looked at Erica and rolled his eyes. Anybody could answer this one.

Delauncy was first to reach the bell.

“Sir Lancelot!” he cried.

“Correct!” said Harkbert.

Suddenly Otto banged his gong.

BONG!!

“That’s the bonus gong!” Harkbert exclaimed. “KNC answered the last question correctly so the question goes to them. For 500 bonus points, where did this hero go to school?”

Flauncy hopped up and rang the bell. He shouted, “KNC!”

“Right again!” exclaimed Harkbert.

The page changed the KNC score to 560.

“Now back to the wheel,” said Harkbert.

The KNC boys answered every NAME THAT HERO question correctly. By the end of the first round, their score was 650. No other team had any score at all.

“No wonder they win every year,” Erica grumbled. “No one else gets a turn.”

It was time for a new category. Chauncy spun the wheel again. It landed on TABLE MANNERS.