Read When All Hell Breaks Loose Online
Authors: Cody Lundin
When All Hell Breaks Loose (79 page)
CAUTION!
Small rodents can be carriers of
hantavirus
or
bubonic plague
, especially in the Southwest. Use caution and common sense when processing rodents by wearing rubber gloves if you have them, or at least avoiding contact with the cuts or abrasions on your body with the body fluids from the animal. If these two diseases are prominent in your area, process the animal in an area with plenty of ventilation and sunlight and do your best to cut out, contain, and safely dispose of all feces and urine (bladder). Plague is transmitted by infected fleas. In known plague areas, I sometimes throw the body of the dead animal—fur and all—into a waiting fire to kill all suspected fleas. Plague will sicken the animal itself and it will eventually die. The problem is that you're not going to witness its sickly behavior before it dies in your trap. Look any animal over carefully before processing it. Does it look like hell, or does it look normal and healthy, even though it's dead? Mice and rats should look pretty good, plump with shiny, clean coats. All animals that look to the contrary should be discarded in a safe place away from curious pets and children. You should also inspect the internal organs to look for discolored spots, worms, or other oddities that just don't seem right. East Coasters should watch out for ticks and Lyme disease. In a healthy rodent, proper cooking will destroy anything that's unsafe for consumption.
If the rodent body checks out healthy upon your inspection, it's time to clean it. I have kept unprocessed rodents in the refrigerator for up to three days before finally cleaning and eating them. Regardless of this, eat them as soon as you can. If you're eating rodents and still have the use of a grid-powered refrigerator, it makes me wonder about you.
Mice Are Nice
Mice can be put directly onto the coals of a fire whole. You can use other heat sources as well but the coals of a fireplace, woodstove, or campfire work great. You can skin them first, but it's a hassle. The heat from the coals will singe off the fur, but it will take some rubbing with a stick and a few attempts turning as necessary to get off all the hair. Singed hair would make a T-bone taste awful so do a good job. If after the singeing process you think skinning is easier, be my guest. The skin will peel right off after precooking in the coals.
As the hair is being singed, the mouse will start to bloat up from the heat. Take this opportunity to scrape lightly at its abdominal cavity with something or gently tear it open with your fingers. At this time, most of the guts should begin to pop out of the opening you created. Near the end of the intestines, you will clearly see mouse turds heading toward the anus. Get rid of all this stuff, but the heart, lungs, and almost everything else up near the head and middle of the body is good eating. Once the mouse has been gutted and the hair singed, it's time to cook it on the coals. I like to cook them until they're between crispy and chewy, turning as necessary. Don't undercook them, but don't turn them into a piece of charcoal either from overcooking.
By the time you're ready to eat the mouse, it won't look like one. The tail and legs will have burned away and the body will resemble a blackened hotdog-like object. There are three bites to a mouse, the middle and rear being the best (in my opinion), so the next task is to jockey for position regarding who gets what bite. The head isn't bad, but eat it hot, as mouse brains suck when they're cold.
Rat. . .the Other, Other White Meat
I love the taste of packrat. It has a delightful, slightly nutty flavor that's neither too subtle nor too overpowering. The Yavapai Indians from my area called packrat
mahlgah
and considered it a delicacy; in the past, young Yavapais cooked and crushed it up so older, toothless relatives could savor the flavor.
I've never had Norway rats, most common in big cities, but I would treat them much the same way as far as preparing and cooking. You'll want to skin rats and do cool things with their hides. Once skinned, the rat should be gutted, although you can gut the rat before you skin it if you wish. Process this animal in much the same way as you would a larger, big game animal. Open up the abdominal cavity with a knife or sharp object and pull out the guts. The internal organs can be eaten like you did with the mouse. Keep in mind the meat is raw in this case so use caution and keep things as sanitary as possible when cleaning. The rat can also be thrown onto the coals whole like the mouse but it doesn't work as well, as it's a much bigger animal. If you land a Norway rat the size of a house cat, definitely skin and gut it first before cooking.
Once the animal is gutted, wash it off with clean water. If water is scarce, this step can be skipped. The skinned, gutted, and cleaned rat can then be spread out flat and put on coals or grilled on the barbeque. Turn as necessary and cook it like chicken. Yummy. . .then eat the meat right off the bones and don't forget about the internal organs. In cases of extreme need, the entire cooked animal can be pounded up Yavapai-style, bones and all, to extract the most amount of nutrition possible.
Recipes: From My Kitchen to Yours with Love
No survival book is complete without at least a few recipes. The following dishes allow you the flexibility to entertain like a star whether the disaster just happened or has been dragging on for weeks. Enjoy!
"The Week After" Rat-A-Touille
Yield: 4 servings (serving size 1 1/2 cup)
1 tablespoon olive oil