When Hari Met His Saali (25 page)

He would shave every day … and shower. Of course he had the air of being in love for the first time in his life; everyone around him could sense it. He kept following/bothering/borderline stalking Simi. Hari was trying to woo Simi with every romantic trick in the book.

Tia was fully aware of them all. For full disclosure, the things Tia did not witness Simi would tell her.

A few evenings later — Tia’s apartment

When Tia came home one evening she saw Hari was impeccably dressed and waiting, while Simi had locked herself in her bedroom.

‘I am taking her to dinner,’ Hari informed Tia. There was no malice in his voice to make Tia jealous. This was how he felt.

When Tia knocked on the door, Simi opened it by just a crack.

‘Thank God, you’re home. He keeps insisting I go to dinner with him. He wouldn’t leave.’

‘So, get dressed. We’ll all go to dinner,’ Tia offered, surprising Simi.

‘Really?’ Simi opened the door happily. She was already dressed in her KP designer dress.

‘If he is going to be like that around you, I might as well be there,’ Tia said as she went into her bedroom to freshen up.

‘Where do you want to go, Hari?’ Tia asked.

‘Geoffrey’s!’ Hari answered excitedly, like a little boy just being told he could pick a place to eat at.

Tia heard it in the bedroom as she was changing her clothes, and her heart sank.

Geoffrey’s had been Tia and Hari’s favorite place to dine and they frequented it regularly. Even the staff there knew them on a first name basis. Geoffrey’s restaurant was right on the beach on the Pacific Coast Highway. According to Tia, the open air dining deck at Geoffrey’s was the most romantic place in the city with fabulous food, the perfect ambience and music, not to mention the location which was under the moon and thestars on the beach right next to the ocean.

When they entered the restaurant, the maître d’ — the head server — recognized her.

‘Your usual place, Tia?’ he asked.

Tia, by virtue of habit, answered without thinking.

‘Yes, please,’ she said, but before they were taken to the table, Hari interrupted.

‘Can we have a table right next to the beach, please?’ Hari smiled.

Tia looked at Hari as if to say ‘I can’t believe you want to sit there!’

Simi had no idea what was happening. As the staff prepared their table, Tia spoke to Simi.

‘This is just great. You know, this table is my favorite place to sit, but Hari used to say that he didn’t like the sound of the ocean waves while he was eating, so we always sat in the back. I’ve been trying to make him sit here for years, and now, today, he wants to sit here.’

As the dinner was served, much awkwardness was hanging in the air. Tia wanted to talk to Hari, Hari wanted to talk to Simi and Simi felt like she didn’t want to talk to anybody, but just disappear from the table.

As if this was not enough, during dinner Hari spotted a Mariachi trio consisting of a woman and two men. The men were playing the violin and the guitar, while the woman was singing and selling fresh red roses. The trio usually played at Geoffrey’s to serenade the patrons.

Hari asked the manager to send them over. Seeing Simi completely lost, he volunteered the information on Mariachi.

‘Simi, see how they are dressed in those huge hats? Look at their embroidered costumes, they are Mexicans. They make their living singing their folk songs. It’s a free-flowing music with guitar and banjos.’

‘What do they sing about?’ Simi asked innocently.

‘Romantic songs, love songs. You know Simi, Spanish is one of the most romantic languages in the world,’ Hari leaned forward as he softly dispensed information.

While Simi simply nodded, Tia was shooting daggers at Hari with her eyes. He had never explained anything so lovingly to her.

When the Mariachis reached their table, Hari whispered something to them and paid them some money. Soon, they started playing music. The woman sang a beautiful romantic song to Simi as she laid red roses in front of her.

Simi had no clue what she was supposed to do or where to look. One thing was sure; she was not going to look at Tia.

If there were a way to measure if someone was burning up from inside, Tia would be on fire. She was fuming at Hari, while he was lost in Simi’s eyes. Simi herself was generally lost as she could not understand the Spanish song but could make out that it was praising her beauty. She was embarrassed and blushing at the same time.

Tia had finally blown her fuse then. She created a scene in front of everyone by accusing Hari and Simi of exacting a revenge on her for being who she was, and of trying to make her jealous. The only person she ended up hurting with her outburst was Simi. Hari was in his own world. She did not even exist as far as he was concerned.

Few days later — Tia’s apartment

Tia reached home from the office on another occasion to find her living room full of flowers. Sitting in between them was Simi. The flowers were of different varieties and colors, and it must have cost a bomb to whoever bought them. Then it dawned on her who must have indeed bought them.

‘Let me guess? Hari?’ she asked Simi. Simi nodded.

‘You know, he has never brought me a single flower, ever!’ Tia said plainly and then she burst out laughing.

‘My hubby-to-be is
lattoo
over my little sister.’ Simi knew that
lattoo
meant to be head over heels.

It secretly tingled her to hear that, but she knew that Tia’s laughter was masking her pain.

‘Nahi, yaar
, he is just lost. I didn’t let him in the house this evening,’ Simi said, still struggling with how she should behave.

‘What’s the occasion, or isn’t there one because he knows now that women like to get flowers without an occasion?’ Tia said it with a little bit of intended sarcasm as she poured the wine. She handed a glass to Simi who was not responding.

‘So, why all the flowers?’ she asked again.

‘It’s my birthday,’ Simi said tentatively.

‘What? Oh gosh. Today’s the twenty-fifth?’ Tia was surprised to know she had actually lost track of the time.

Simi nodded meekly.

‘I feel so bad. I swear I remembered your birthday till a week ago, but with everything that’s happening … you know. Hey, but Hari remembered? That’s all that matters!’ Tia’s moving in and out of optimism and pessimism was becoming the norm for Simi these days.

‘Remember that day with Jenny and Phil? We played that game and I had to mention my birthday? He must’ve remembered,’ Simi reasoned.

‘How? How? How? You know how many times he has forgotten my birthday? Actually, don’t answer that, the question should be how many times has he remembered my birthday?’ Tia asked Simi as she gulped her wine.

‘I don’t know, Tia,’ Simi answered, only because Tia was staring at her for an answer.

‘Out of six years, only once! And that also because I suspect Jenny or Mary reminded him. And he hears your birthday at some random game which no one remembers and yet he … he …’ Tia poured another glass of wine for herself.

‘Maybe I deserve this. I forget my only sister’s birthday and he remembers it. Maybe he is trying to teach me a lesson here. Maybe he is doing this over-dramatically because he wants to show me how anal I have been about everything since the engagement thing, or maybe from before. Maybe he is not really hypnotized, Simi. Maybe he is acting all this out knowingly.’ Tia’s eyes sparkled as if she had just solved a conspiracy theory.

‘Umm … no Tia, I think he is definitely under a spell. He has such sincerity, such honesty in his voice.’ Simi said it with empathy in her voice and luckily Tia was too busy being herself to notice this small shift in Simi’s feelings.

‘The release word … didn’t he say something beginning with “O” to that crazy dance couple? What was the word?’ Simi finally said something that caught Tia’s attention.

‘Orangutan?’ Tia said.

‘What, no. That’s not even a word!’ Simi was pacing back and forth now.

‘Yes it is. It’s an animal, like a chimp,’ Tia shot back in an accusatory tone.

How could Simi forget that Tia took challenges very seriously?

‘I’ll show you, let me get the dictionary.’

‘No, OK, I mean OK it is a word, but that’s not the release word he used … what was it, what was it?’ Simi was digging deep to remember.

‘Origami?’ Tia had set her glass aside now.

‘No, it had “ss” in it.’

‘Orgasm? No that can’t be it.’

‘Othello?’ Tia was now randomly throwing out words.

‘No, no S in it.’

‘Maybe you should get the dictionary and we can go through all the words starting with “O”?’ Simi suggested.

An hour later, the two excited sisters had gone through all the words in the dictionary starting with ‘O’ but none of them rang true.

‘Maybe we should ask the old couple?’ Simi suggested.

‘You are pure genius, Sim!’ Tia grabbed her car keys and they both left.

They reached Mary’s place and got the old couple’s address. Mary even excitedly called the elderly wife on the phone.

‘Oh,
bachcha log
wants to ask you something, you awake
na
?’

But then Tia realized that they should take Hari along.

‘That way, we’ll just use their release word on Hari right then and there and he’ll be mine again.’ She was so excited she was not picking her words carefully.

She ran upstairs to get Hari — who had not been to work since the engagement fiasco and just hung around in his room. He was possessed by love.

‘How are you doing, Simi
bete
?’ Mary lovingly asked Simi, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

‘I am doing OK,
Auntyji,
’ Simi said, flashing a forced smile. Simi wanted to break down and she so wanted to hug Mary, she was the closest thing to a mother to her now. But she didn’t.

‘I know it’s your birthday Simi — happy birthday! We should have gotten you a cake or something,’ Mary said wistfully.

‘Thank you, but
Auntyji
let everything be OK with Tia and Hari, and then we’ll all celebrate by cutting a cake,’ Simi gladly offered.

How sober and thoughtful this girl is, how lucky the man who gets her will be. After

all, girls like these don’t exist any more.

‘He won’t come down! He says he will only come if Simi asks him,’ Tia said, coming down the stairs angrily.

‘Get him,
yaar
, he is just being a child,’ Tia told Simi, pushing her upstairs.

A minute later Simi came down, followed by Hari.

‘Good job, Simi, now let’s get into the car,’ Tia ordered.

After a frantic drive — Old couple’s house

When they reached the old couple’s home Simi felt bad as the couple had their room at the back of a big house. It was a garage converted into a bedroom. Their only son and daughter-in-law lived in the large house with their two kids. Simi resolved never to treat her mother like that.

When the elderly wife said the release word was “Orramus” Tia instantly turned to Hari like a possessed woman.

‘Orramus, Orramus … Oooooorrrraaaammmmuuusss,’ she said, and waited. But nothing seemed to have changed in Hari.

She held him by the shoulders and shook him.

‘Hari, listen to me! Listen to my words: Orramus! Orramus!’ But apart from being disoriented from all the shaking, Hari remained under Xavier’s spell.

‘Goddamn it, Hari, make some effort. Orramus! Orramus!’ Tia tried again.

She was like a possessed pirate greedily trying to open a treasure chest behind a cave wall with a magic password.

Finally the elderly lady remembered something.

‘But, the magician told us that the release word was different for everyone. Remember?’

‘No, we were not paying attention to your stupid dance,’ Tia blurted out much to Simi and Hari’s horror.

‘Don’t speak to them like that,’ Hari said, for the first time showing some signs of life. ‘Apologize to them.’

Tia looked at Hari.

Where did that authoritative tone come from?

She blinked her eyes. He looked like a strapping hero sitting on a horse in shiny armor.

‘Sorry,
Dadiji
,’ she apologized. ‘You know I am under lot of stress. Sorry,
Dadaji
, I shouldn’t have said it.’

While driving back — On the street

Tia was at the wheel, Simi was in the passenger seat and Hari was in the back seat. Tia was pissed, but having witnessed Hari’s outburst she was being careful.

‘Tia, I distinctly remember him trying to say something with the letter “O” before he had the heart attack,’ Simi mentioned.

‘Are you sure?’ Tia asked. ‘Because “Orramus” was your idea and it didn’t work. Such a waste of time!’

‘Hey, lay off her,’ Hari spoke up, being more than a mopey Romeo again. ‘She’s just trying to help, OK?’

‘What are you doing, Hari?’ Tia asked looking at him in the rearview mirror.

‘I am standing up for my woman!’ Hari said simply.

‘Oh really? This woman here?’ Tia was getting agitated.

Sensing that the argument between the two might escalate Simi tried to calm them down.

‘Hari, you don’t have to stand up for me!’

‘I know you don’t need it, but I am not going to tolerate someone treating you like that.’ Hari leaned forward and put his hand over Simi’s head.

‘No, really Hari. You don’t have to, but thank you for offering. No one has really stood up for me, ever!’ Simi said it in spite of herself as his hand felt so good caressing her hair.

Tia swatted his hand away.

‘
Oye
, Hari
ke bachche
! Enough of this bullshit, OK? Behave yourself. And you, you …’ she turned to Simi. ‘… and you, what is with the “thank you and no one has ever stood up for me” bullshit?’ Tia said, trying to copy Simi’s voice.

‘What? Now I can’t even express myself?’ Simi had had enough of both of them.

‘Express all you want, but not to my fiancé, OK?’

‘He is not your fiancé!’

‘He is too.’

‘The ring in my suitcase begs to differ.’