When He Cheatin' and You Still Love Him (12 page)

 

Chapter 15

Shanair

The sound of the shower water running awakens me from my sleep. When I open my eyes, the entire room is dark except from the light illumining from the bottom of the bathroom door. This means that Terry finally brought his ass home. Still irritated about him lying about him being on his way, I prepare to roll over on my side and go back to sleep, but when my eyes catch the time on the alarm clock I change my mind. It only takes me seconds to hop out of the bed, and dart across the room. Without bothering to knock, I twist the knob and push my way inside the bathroom. The door flies open and slams loudly against the wall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Terry asks snatching the curtain back.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Working,” he responds, and I can clearly tell that he’s lying through his fucking teeth.

“Yeah, working my ass.”

My eyes drop to the floor, and when I see his discarded clothes I get an idea. Without saying anything else, I pick up his pants and begin to rummage through his pockets.

“What the fuck you doing?”

I don’t even bother to answer him, because by now I have his phone clutched in my hand. We lock eyes for a split second, and when I see the worried expression on Terry’s face I race back out the bathroom door and out of my bedroom. I can hear him calling my name as he scrambles to get out of the shower. A loud thud shakes the floor, and I laugh to myself when a visual of Terry falling pops into my head. Not slowing my pace, I quickly I move through the hallway and down the stairs, headed to the bathroom in the kitchen. Terry clumsily hops down the stairs trying to catch up with me, but I don’t care because I’m now safely locked inside the bathroom.

“Nair, give me back my fucking phone!” Terry yells from the other side. When I don’t say anything, he asks again, “Give me back my damn phone! What the fuck are you doing anyway?” he asks, and I can tell by his tone that he’s nervous.

I bet the muthafucka has been doing so much, he’s afraid of what I may find.

Again, I don’t respond. Instead, I take a seat on top of the closed toilet lid with his phone in my hand. With the screen lit up, I touch the phone icon and bring up the call log. As I scroll down, I see that he’s spoken to a bunch of different people. Some are stored contacts, while others are just phone numbers. As Terry continues to yell obscenities while as he pounds on the door, I back out of the call log and make my way to the text messages. There are a few from a bitch named Charlotte, who’s asking him when she’s going to see him again. From his responses, it looks as if he’s been curving the shit out of her for the last week or so. I’m upset by her messages, because for her to ask to see him again, it means that he had to at least have seen her once before. After hitting the info icon, I quickly memorize her name and number, figuring that I’ll call her later and let her know that Terry is taken.

Backing out of the Charlotte’s contact, I go back to the messages and see that there are quite a few from that stankin’ ass Katrina. Usually I don’t even let seeing her name bother me, but because of our phone call earlier and the fact that Terry did indeed come back after four a.m. like she said, I now need to know what the fuck is up. When I open her messages, my heart drops when I see that he texted her a little before midnight with a message saying,
I’m on my way
. Like I’ve said time and time again, I know that Terry fucks around on me but never did I think that he would go back to that miserable bitch Katrina. She’s done nothing but made our lives a living hell since she’s been around. Well, I guess I’m better off saying that she’s made
my
life, because apparently she and Terry are cool.

Just thinking about all the times he’s complained about how much she gets on his nerves pisses me off. Or how he’s always talking about how she’s so irrational, and nerve wrecking, but he’s steady fucking this bitch. This is the same bitch that he swore he was sorry for messing around with in the first place. The very same bitch that ran down to the county building and put his ass on child support, all because he was late one day picking Shad up on time. Katrina has done everything in her power to fuck him over, yet he continues to deal with her. Then the muthafucka has the audacity to have me babysitting their fucking son while he does it. If that ain’t bullshit I don’t know what is.

“Umph, I guess the bitch wasn’t lying after all,” I whisper to myself as tears fill my eyes.

I feel like such a fucking fool right now.

The door shakes as Terry continues to hit it repeatedly, and I know that if he keeps it up it’ll eventually come off the hinges. I don’t want him tearing up my damn house, so I wrap up my investigation of his phone. I have one last thing to do before I hand it over. After pressing the voicemail button, I listen as the operator comes on and tells him that he has no new messages. Once she’s finished, I navigate to the settings and changed the passcode to his voicemail to only something I would know. Since he doesn’t have to enter one when he calls from his phone, he’ll never know that I have access to it. After deleting that last call from the call log, I darken the phone and open the door. 

Terry is standing on the other side looking crazy as hell. The wild look in his eyes let me know that he’s upset, but after what I’ve found out, I don’t five a fuck. There are droplets of water on his shoulders and chest. His hair is white from what I assume to be shampoo, and his boxers are not only inside out, but bunched around his waist from him putting them on in such a rush. Just the sight of him makes me even madder, because here he is standing here pissed at me because he’s the one who’s fucked up.

It’s always him.

Before I step out of the bathroom I chuck his phone at him as hard as I can and watch as it hits him square in the forehead before falling to the floor.

“Youse a trifling ass nigg—”

“Bitch!” he yells cutting me off.

Before I get a chance to do anything else, Terry grabs me up by the front of my shirt and snatches me completely out of the doorway. My body collides with the adjacent wall before I slowly slide down it with the wind knocked out of me.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop fucking playing with me? You don’t listen though, do you?”

Not giving me a chance to respond, Terry lifts his hand and brings it down across my face. The side of my head jerks and bounces off the wall with a
thud
. Dizziness consumes me, and my eyes roll around in my head. Once that subsides, I quickly scramble to my feet, upset by the fact that he believes that he has the right to attack me when he’s the one who should be getting his ass kicked. Now in a standing position, I push him backwards with all my might, but he doesn’t budge. With a wild look in his eyes, he goes to grab me again, but this time I duck and slide to the floor. As he attempts to grab me, I crawl as quickly as I can out of the kitchen and into the dining room.

“Come here,” Terry demands through clenched teeth.

He grabs my leg and jerks me toward him, flipping me over in the process.

“Ouch!” I cry out when my shirt rolls up and I begin to feel the carpet burning my back.

As he continues to pull me, I reach out and grab ahold of the dining room table leg. Terry leans back and pulls at my leg harder. This not only tugs me, but the table as well. As it slides across the area rug, it tilts the chair closest to me, which tips over. I watch in slow motion as the heavy wooden seat comes right at me. In an attempt to protect my head and face, I release the table leg and put my arms up, but not soon enough. Before I can catch it, it clunks me right on the top of my head.

“Are you fucking crazy?” I ask holding the spot where I was hit.

Terry doesn’t respond, instead he drags me back through the kitchen and into the bathroom, where he closes and locks the door.

 

Chapter 16

Terry

If it ain’t one muthafucking things it’s another. Here I am thinking that everything is going great for me, and then I’m hit with a shocker of a lifetime. When Brittany called and told me that she was pregnant, I damn near crashed my car into a fucking ditch. I literally had to pull over on the side of the road and collect myself, because I was fucked up. I knew that I had messed up a few weeks ago by fucking her unprotected, but after she didn’t say anything, I guess I figured I was safe. That sad ass phone call ruined my whole fucking day.

After I told Brittany that I’ll call her back, I took my ass home and jumped in the shower. As if my day wasn’t bad enough, Shanair brings her bad ass in there and starts to question me about where I been. I guess I didn’t answer to her liking, because her nut ass grabbed my phone out my pockets and ran into the downstairs bathroom with it. I had no clue what exactly she was looking for, but whatever it was, I didn’t want her ass to find it. Before I knew it I jumped out the shower and chased her ass right on downstairs, dripping wet. When I got downstairs I asked her over and over again to give me my phone, but she wouldn’t listen. The only thing that stopped me from knocking the fucking door down was the fact that my kids were in the house and I didn’t want to scare them.

Once Shanair saw all she needed to see, she waltzed her ass out the bathroom and not only started to flip on me, but hit me in the head with my damn phone; a phone that she didn’t have permission to have. From there I lost it. I snatched her ass up and beat the shit out of her. Now I feel like shit because I know that I was wrong. Yeah, Shanair had no business touching my phone but my anger wasn’t totally directed towards her. I was more mad about Brittany being pregnant, and I guess I took my anger out on Shanair because I couldn’t hurt who I really wanted to and that was me. I couldn’t believe that I could be so stupid.

I just came from dropping my kids off at their houses, and now I’m on my way over to Brittany’s apartment. She says she wants to talk, but truthfully there is nothing for us to talk about unless she’s trying to get an abortion. I’m not trying to have no baby by her ass, and I’m going to let her know that. I already have three kids by two different woman; neither of them are my woman. So to have another one is a no-no, not only because I don’t want to hurt Shanair, but because I don’t want to deal with Brittany for the rest of my life. Katrina is already bad enough, and although Brittany isn’t ghetto, I have a feeling that she will act just as crazy as she has.

Once I make it to Brittany’s place, I climb out my car and make my way to her apartment. Before I get a chance to knock, the door flies open and Brittany stands there with a dumb smile on her face. I don’t know why she’s all happy and shit, because after I say what I’m about to say, I’m sure that smile will turn into a frown. 

“Hey baby,” she greets me, before leaning in for a kiss. When I dodge it her lips meet my cheek. “Damn, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Come on now Brit,” I tell her making my way into the apartment.

While she closes the door I walk into the living room, where I take a seat on the couch. Brittany sits beside me and I can tell that she now has an attitude. Her arms are folded tightly across her chest and she looks like she’s about to cry.

“I guess you having an attitude about me being pregnant, huh?”

“What do you expect Brit? You know I didn’t want no more kids!” I barked.

“Well, I didn’t have plans on having kids right now either, but what’s done is done.”

“What’s done is done? You sound crazy as hell right now.”

Brittany unfolds her arms, and places her hands on her stomach. “We are having a baby.”

“Yeah, but I don’t
want
another baby,” I explain to her honestly.

“Terry, why are you acting like this? Just the other day everything was cool. You came over and didn’t have a problem them.” Brittany laughed, “I guess it’s because I was giving you some pussy. Is that what you want? Do you want some pussy…would that make you feel better?”

As much as I want to say some real smart shit, I bite my tongue because I don’t want her hurt her feelings, but Brittany better stop playing with me.

“Look, I don’t want no more kids, so you gotta get an abortion.” There wasn’t much else for me to say at that moment.

“You should have thought about that before you came inside me.”

“Bitch—" I jump up.

“Watch your mouth when you talk to me. I’m not these other hoes that you fuck with,” Brittany hissed. “You will respect me.”

“I’m sorry for calling you out of your name, but this is your fault Brit. You climbed on the dick knowing that I wasn’t wearing a condom.”

“You knew you weren’t wearing one as well. Why didn’t you insist that I get up?” she counters with a smirk on her face.

I spent the next hour trying to get her delusional ass to understand that having another baby is not something that I want to do. After breaking down the cons of why it wouldn’t work, Brittany was still dead set on having the baby. It didn’t matter what I said, she had an answer. Since her family had money she let me know that money wasn’t an issue, and we could move into one of her father’s houses when the baby was born. I ended up having to tell her the truth, and that was that I just didn’t see myself being with her like that. Once I told her that, she flipped out and told me to get the fuck out her apartment, which I did gladly. Before I walked out I left four hundred dollars on the coffee table for an abortion that I hoped she would have.

Since I didn’t want to go home right away, I decided to go to the bar and have a few drinks. I ended up staying for close to three hours before finally deciding to go on home. As I drove I kept praying that Brittany would make the right decision about the baby, but something in me knew better. Not only did she shoot down every excuse I had, but she was way too happy about being pregnant. Although I was only there for a little over an hour, she rubbed her stomach about twenty times.

Once I made it to the house, I climbed out of my car and walked inside. As soon as I stepped in the door, Shanair started in on me. Since Kendrick was still gone, we had the house to ourselves, and she let it be known each time she raised her voice. She told me about how Katrina had called her phone and told her how we were still fucking. Shanair explained that that the reason why she grabbed my phone, because she wanted to see for herself. As she cursed and fussed about leaving me, all I could do was drop my head into my hands, because I didn’t have the energy to fight with her. There was just too much going on. 

As Shanair continued to threaten me with everything under the sun, I made a mental note to check Katrina’s petty ass the next time we talked. She had no right to call Shanair and tell her anything. That was one of the reasons why I only dealt with her every blue moon, because she was messy as hell. Katrina always let it be known that she wanted me back, so I’m not sure why I didn’t expect this from her.

With the guilt of not only taking my anger out on her and knowing that Brittany was going to keep the baby, I apologized to my baby and let her know just how sorry I was about everything. Since she knew how was, I lied and told her that I did in fact go over there, but we didn’t fuck because I didn’t have any condoms. I know you’re probably thinking that I was still wrong, and you’re right but to Shanair, me not fucking her because I didn’t have protection is better than me fucking her with protection. When I was done apologizing I was damn near in tears. Just looking into Shanair’s eyes and knowing that I would soon have to tell her about Brittany being pregnant, broke my heart. There I was causing her the same pain that I promised to never cause her again; this time with yet another different woman.

Apparently I must have scared her, because before long she started to cry while asking me if I was alright. There was no way I could tell her what was really wrong with me, so I continue to act as if it were because of our fight the night before. Shanair told me that she accepted my apology and we went to bed. As we both drifted off to sleep, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, because I was truly afraid of what was going to happen when I revealed my latest fuckup.

 

*****

 

The constant sound of my phone vibrating on the nightstand pulled me from my dream. When I opened my eyes I saw that Shanair was still sleeping, so I pulled my arm from under her as careful as possible, so I didn’t wake her. Once I was finished, I slowly rolled over and checked to see who was calling. I sighed when I saw that it was Brittany. After letting the call roll over to the voicemail, I saw that she had called more than ten times in the last hour. As I was checking the call log, the phone vibrated again. Again, I allowed it to roll over to the voicemail.

Just as I was about to lay back down, my car alarm sounded. Not thinking anything of it, I pulled my key ring out of the drawer and climbed out of the bed to stop the beeping before it woke up the entire neighborhood. As soon as I got close to the window, who I saw in our front yard damn near made me piss myself.

 

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