When I Wake Up (10 page)

My heart was beating rapidly and I was afraid to lose consciousness because of the emotions that were beginning to get to me, but I felt a hand to grasp me, the same hand that was with me when I fell from the waterfall and it looked like the hand withdrew all fear and insecurity that wanted to take control of me.

“Trust me, Sophia. I'll just show you your past to heal you and you will learn to live with it, without the fear that it determines your future.”

And I saw myself in the mirror, at sea, with the face that I had as a teenager. Roy was there and he did not observe me. I tried to draw his attention, but he was not looking at me. His friends were also there, making sure that Roy would not approach me and I was taken by a lot of pain. The pain of rejection.

Around Roy's friends, a black cloud hovered just above their heads and around their heads were the same monsters I had seen in the nurse Mara. I was surprised when I saw that this cloud also hung in front of me, as if taking my vision and preventing me from seeing the light that was there trying to get my attention off of Roy's friends.

“In addition to what we see Sophia, there is also an invisible world operating down below. People see the natural, physical, but cannot see a whole organized unseen world going on around them.”
God warned me.

Within that lake I was surrounded by a whirlwind and a flow that transported me to another place. I made a trip and saw facts of my life that I had forgotten, or perhaps had blocked due to the pain that they caused me. But there, as I relived them, that pain was taken away from me and it began to be simply part of a past that had been so tragic for me that I had chosen to forget it.

The Voice also took me to good moments of my life. I saw smiles and joys in various parts of the moments that I lived. But even in these happy moments, to me they were not complete because at that time, I thought life without Roy made no sense.

Within seconds, in that sea, I went around the world of my life. I relived good and also traumatic times and was ready to get out of this trip, healed, a new person, because the voice that spoke with me had made me relive the past, only to bring me healing and to fill the void that had long insisted on living inside of me.

And what seemed like fractions of seconds, I was taken from that sea and brought back to heaven. I thought:
A whole life, so much pain, to be revived in only a minute.
Yes, there was only one minute that I had entered into the sea from my past.

“For me your years are like a minute. I am able to call into existence. And today I called time into existence so you could be totally cured, Sophia.”

And there in heaven, while the voice spoke to me and I watched all the scenes, all the scenery from heaven, there was no room for pain or crying in my life. I had only peace and happiness. I was totally involved by the love of God and was willing to stay there with Him.

“It is not yet your time, Sophia. There is a time for everything in life.”
the Voice of God told me.
“I still want to show you other things. I want to reveal you more secrets. And starting from today, you will feel more and more of my love. Sophia, I have chosen you to have a relationship with me in a profound way. Come with me Sophia. I want you to meet someone.”
God told me. I obeyed the command of his voice and walked some more. The more I approached the person I was about to meet, the more the sky brightened. I looked further and my eyes almost could not stay open because of the light that was revealed in front of me.

I was now in a place that had a large throne, very majestic and the person I was supposed to meet was sitting on it and at the same time standing, and when I looked down, I gazed at the Earth and the person was on the earth also. I looked at my hospital room and that person was also there and while Roy was by my side, this person was by his side as well. I started getting confused.
How could the same person be in so many places at once?

But my lips could not open and no sound came out of my mouth. I was ecstatic at the sight. I was surrounded by a joy, a happiness that I had never experienced before. Tears rolled down my face and if that moment was the last of my life, I would die happy. Now I did not care if I would recover the movements of my legs or not or if I would be accepted by Roy’s friends, because compared to what I was experiencing there in heaven, all I had suffered here on earth seemed to be irrelevant.

“Sophia, this is my son Jesus. The Savior of the world.”
the Voice of God told me, showing me the person that I should know.

I could not stand to see him and I was overcome by a great fear due to his majesty. Now I not only heard the voice, but it was as if It had materialized. His face was of gold, bright like the sun. He was wearing all white clothes, his eyes were like a flaming fire. His feet were glowing.

I cried. I was taken by a lot of joy. It was an inexplicable feeling, but I was sure that I was before the great God, the Creator and Savior of the world. And it seemed that all my concerns and aspirations were irrelevant compared to being close to Jesus, there in the heaven. How I wanted to be near him. Feel his presence. And even there, I thought, as soon as I come back, I'll tell it all to Roy.

14

“Did you sleep well, Sophia?”
Roy asked.

“Yes, Roy, I did. I went to heaven.”

“I knew this would happen.”
I heard the nurse Luiza saying
.
“You are not the first patient who goes to heaven during a coma.”
She continued.

“But I was there today.”
I replied.

I turned to Roy and said,
“Roy, I saw Jesus.”

“What do you mean Sophia?”
Roy asked.

“I remembered everything. I recovered my memory.”
I said. I tried to move my legs, but without success. Roy did not realize that I had made the effort.

“Sophia, you were asleep.”
Roy spoke.

“I was and meanwhile, I took a trip to heaven. I visited my past.”
I told him, telling him my whole experience.

Roy listened to me as if he doubted me.

“I know that Jesus exists, but no one can see him or hear his voice.”
said Roy.

“Roy, some people have incredible experiences with Jesus and begin to talk to him face to face.”
Luiza said.

“How come He never talked to me?”

“He does, but you still cannot hear him. You know He exists, but you also need to accept that He speaks.”
I replied.

“Sophia, I know you will get better and in no distant time you will walk again. It all depends on you.”
Roy told me.

“It depends on the will of God, Roy. After all, I have already received the greatest healing during my visit to heaven while I slept, which was the healing of my emotions.”

As I spoke with Roy, I think due to the effect of the drugs I was taking, I was taken by a very great fatigue and once again fell into a deep sleep and when I woke up, I was once again in heaven.

This time, heaven seemed even more beautiful. I saw many angels walking from one side to the other. There were many colors in there, many precious stones. The trees were very beautiful. Everything there was so perfect that I cannot describe it. Plus the most beautiful of all was Jesus. He radiated purity and a wonderful perfume. When I was near him, I was invaded by a very large and uncontrollable love. I had no desire to leave His side.

“Will you be my friend, Sophia?”

“Your friend, Jesus? But you are the Son of God. The Owner of all that is here in heaven and on earth below, and yet, you offer me your friendship?”
I asked.

“Yes Sophia. All that is here can also be yours. You just have to wish to be an heir with me.”

“What do I do to inherit all this?”

“It's simple, you just have to walk with me and hear my voice.”

“That's all I want, Jesus. What about Roy? I would like him to know you the way I am getting to know you.”

“You just have to introduce me to him. Do you not introduce new people to your friends, Sophia?”
Jesus asked.

“Yes, but they are real people.”
I let out.

“I'm real Sophia. Touch me.”
I touched him and was totally radiated by his love. And while he touched me, I realized that He was all I needed. I had spent an entire life escaping from myself, my pain, building imaginary characters to be able to overcome the emptiness that had taken hold of my heart.

I used to believe that if I gained Roy’s heart, my emptiness would be filled. I tried alone to go back into my past many times and tried to rebuild it, make peace with it, and fix it, but only after the Voice spoke to me, my pain was removed and my wounds healed. But now, not only did I hear the Voice, I saw Him, I touched him and I was sure I was not dreaming, and that He was certainly real.

I no longer needed to go back in the past constantly to relive it, because He only took a walk with me and healed me, got me through the pain I felt. I also would no longer need to block my memories because I knew I could deliver them into the hands of Jesus, the Savior of the world and He would take care of them, me and Roy.

All of his love took care of my interior and I myself could see my whole body glow, as if a bright light had involved it. This time I was not afraid.

“This is my glory, Sophia.”
Jesus told me.

And he walked a little and pointed downward, his feet touched the clouds and I could not take my eyes off them. A wind passed through the clouds, a rainbow formed between them and something that looked like a fireworks show mixed with clouds. I was shocked by so much beauty.

“Don't divert your gaze, Sophia.”
He said.

I kept staring and amid what looked like a fireworks show, a crystal mat opened and I found myself walking over it. I no longer was the same age. I seemed to be much older. About fifteen years older. Roy also had aged and there was a beautiful girl that looked like Roy, almost his replica. I looked at her with love and started crying because the girl took my breath away due to the love I felt for her and I wanted to protect her.

“Her name is Sky. You chose this name for her.”

I looked and saw that Sky was very happy, surrounded by love and of the light that had wrapped my body in heaven, at the same time involving her as well. We were on a beautiful beach. We ran. I kept daydreaming. I planned the future in heaven, but that sadness that had taken care of me all my life, was not there.

“You will be happy, Sophia. I will make you happy. I'll transform you.”
Jesus told me.

And suddenly, I realized that in the vision I was not in a chair of any sorts. I walked. I felt my feet, ran with Roy and sky and did not doubt of their love.

All I had dreamed and desired all my life, I had achieved. Because I met Jesus, I could accept his love and also the love that people around me offered me.

I woke up. Roy was still there beside me, looking at me with a mixture of love and empathy. He was afraid I would not go back to walking.

“Your face is radiant, Sophia.”
He told me.
“I see a different glow on it.”

“It's the brightness of Jesus.”
I replied and Roy smiled at my answer.

“Where is Sky?”
I asked.

“Sky?”
He spoke as if confused. Perhaps thinking that I had not only lost my memory, but was also confused because of the many medicines I took.

From my bed, I looked up and saw Jesus. The same Jesus who was in heaven, was at the same time there in the room with me, showing me that He was not just my imagination running wild. No. I had not daydreamed. Jesus was real. Sky was real, but she belonged to my future. To Roy’s future, for Jesus, even assured me of a happy future.

“I'll give you proof that I am real.”
Jesus told me while Roy said:

“Wake up Sophia.”

At that very moment, Jesus stretched out his arms to me. Roy could not see it, but I could and the desire to go near Him was so great that I remembered his love, his power, his strength and remembered the healing He had given me a few hours ago and I said,

“Do not leave me Jesus.

He looked at me with such love and replied:

“Follow me, Sophia.”

I obeyed to the command of his voice, without looking at Roy or myself, because only the voice of God and the presence of Jesus was enough for me. I did not look at the bed or the tubes that were attached to my body, nor had I remembered that there was a doctor who said I would never walk again. I simply looked at Jesus and decided to follow him, on my feet and looking at him with all my trust, I moved my legs and I was standing in the middle of that hospital room.

Witnessing this whole scene, Roy burst into tears.

“Sophia, you did it. You walked.”
Roy told me.

“It was Jesus who healed me, Roy. He is here. I know you cannot see Him, but feel His presence.”

Roy looked and was fully illuminated and said:

“I see Him. He is real.”

And the room was fully illuminated and surrounded by the Voice, which was like the sound of great water, stronger than the noise of thunder, brighter than lightning and yet so gentle as the breeze, and He said:

“I'm real. I was dead and resurrected. Soon, I will come back for you.”

The End

Acknowledgements:

First, I want to thank God, for giving me the opportunity to write one more book. I also would like to express my gratitude to my husband, my sister in law, and all my friends who supported me, while I was writing this book. Furthermore, I want to thank Odany Christina, Débora Loubaque, and Sabrina Calazans. Last, I am thankful to my brothers and sisters from IPMLP.

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