Authors: Asrai Devin
“
I’m
only here temporarily.”
“
If
you say so.”
Shanna
felt her ire rise once more. She was too tired to care. “Thank
you for the water, Rachel. Please close my office door.” She
realized what she’d said. “
The
office door. My
father’s door.”
Shanna
closed her eyes until the door closed. Tears threatened from behind
her eyes. She forced them back, and when she was feeling even again,
she washed the pills with the entire glass of water. Now, she needed
to finish what she had been doing when Trenton called, then talk with
Gabriel before she went home for supper. And, of course, there was
still Trenton’s e-mail to work on.
When
she returned home, she and Trenton were going to have a discussion
about his expectations. Over time, it felt like she was doing more
and more of his work. She didn't usually mind, but she wondered if he
would expect her to continue once she accepted a better job.
She
closed her eyes. Maybe she’d have a quick nap.
*
* *
Gabe
waited an hour to return to Shanna's office. Bryce's office.
Whoever's office it was. He went in to talk with her about what she
had e-mailed him about some complaints and issues.
He
knocked on her door. "She got mad at me when I offered advice,"
Rachel said.
"She's
upset at everyone, but she's coming to realize we are all right. If
only emotionally. Anyway, she'll have a transition period. Don't take
it personally. Bryce will be thrilled that she's coming around."
Rachel
smiled. "He won't be as excited as you."
"I
suppose not." He sighed and decided to go in. If she is still in
a snit, his praise might calm her.
He
discovered why she hadn't answered the door or his phone call. She
was fast asleep on the sofa. Her mouth was open and she was drooling.
He knelt beside her and took the opportunity to stroke her hair and
kiss her cheeks.
"I
love you Shanna. I know you are scared about deviating from your
five-year plan, but I also know that you are beginning to realize
where you belong." He traced a finger down the bridge of her
nose and she batted at it and turned.
His
eyes moved down her body. He wished he could wake her with soft,
intimate caresses, making love to her right on the sofa. She'd enjoy
it until she became awake and reality kicked in. He sighed. Reality
was, she still considered herself with Trenton, still wanted to
return to Toronto.
He
stroked her cheek again and then started to move away.
Her
eyes fluttered a bit. "Gabriel?"
His
heart thudded as he brushed her hair again. "How's your head,
sweetheart?"
She
reached for him. "Sleeping in the middle of the day is not a
good example for the employees."
"Unless
the employees got you drunk." He took her hand.
"I
don't think they made me drink that much."
"Oh,
who cares? You had fun. Don't you dare feel guilty about it."
"What
about hiding things?"
He
used his thumb to stroke her palm. As he watched her, he thought his
heart might explode from overwhelming emotion. "Are you hiding
things from me?"
"Only
that I'm scared to make decisions here. What if I do something wrong
and ruin the whole company?"
Oh.
God, he remembered being scared like that. His first business meeting
without Bryce, his first time alone in the office when Bryce was gone
on vacation. He'd been so terrified that he sat shaking in his office
for what felt like hours. "I wouldn't let you, and it would take
more than one bad decision to ruin this place. You don't think I've
screwed up and lost money? That your dad hasn't made mistakes?"
"Of
course not. You're perfect. So is he. I can't fit in here. I’ll
always be in his shadow. People saying things like 'that's not how it
was done when your dad was here.'" She opened her eyes and
looked at him.
"You
tell them you aren't your dad. The great thing about being boss is no
one gets to question your authority."
"I
have no business having authority."
"I
told you before this all started that you know more about this
company than any employee, anyone except your Dad."
"And
you."
"You
know more than me, I bet. You watched it being built from the
beginning. Right. I came into her because I read your e-mails."
She
covered her face with her hand that he wasn't holding and groaned.
"Don't tell me how bad they were."
He
pulled her hand away. "You underestimate your abilities. I bet
you've been answering Trenton's correspondence for some time. They
were brilliant, most of them I sent along in response. Two needed
some minor changes and two I had already replied to because they were
urgent, but I wished I'd had your words instead."
"You're
just saying that to make me feel better."
"I
would never use business to make you feel better. If I wanted to make
you feel better, I'd tell you how beautiful you are. Your eyes
shining like the sea, your hair like gold, your skin like silk."
She
closed her eyes, but there was no mistaking the flush in her cheeks,
or the pleased smile that curved her lips. He sat up and brushed his
lips over hers.
Her
eyes flew open. Her lips parted then closed. She shook her head.
He
sensed another confession. "You can tell me. I'd never betray
your confidence."
"I
never told Trenton about us."
"Why
does he hate me then?"
"Because
he's a little insecure. You're Gabe. There were times when I was
talking to you on the phone daily because I needed a friendly voice,
because I missed you so much my heart hurt."
Because
she loved him? She did back then anyway. Were those feeling still
buried inside her? "I missed you, too. You have no idea how much
fun I've been having since you've been back."
She
smiled. "Anyway, I never told him about the crush I had on you
when I was a kid. Never told him about, y'know, that night." Oh,
that stupid kiss. God, she'd never let that go. "I never told
him about what happened three days ago. And I sure as hell am not
going to tell him about last night."
"He'd
be mad?"
"I
don’t know." She rolled her head from side to side a few
times. "I'm a horrible girlfriend, Gabe. I should call him and
dump him right now. He's waiting for me and I'm out here kissing you,
sleeping in your bed. Enjoying it."
"You're
enjoying it?" He brightened at her words.
She
shoved his shoulder. "Gabe."
"I'm
sorry. Should I be upset? Look Shan, you aren't married to him. We
kissed. It happens. We can argue whether or not you are a horrible
person for enjoying it. If he dumps you over it, he wasn't worth it.
And if he doesn't want you, I certainly do."
She
sat up. "You what?"
"We
belong together, Shan. I realized that last night."
She
pulled her hand from his and stood. She paced the room, wringing her
hands. She'd always had a flair for the dramatic. He hoped he wasn't
grinning like a fool.
"I'd
rather think I don't belong to anyone. I can be on my own." She
stopped to at glare him, hands on her hips.
"You
don't belong to me, sweetheart. You belong with me. Next to me. In
the office, in my house." In my bed. He let his eyes say that,
knowing she'd probably slap him.
She
jerked her gaze away.
"Did
I ever tell you why I came to see you that night?"
"You
had business in the city."
"No
I didn't. Lisa moved out that week and I couldn't face my empty
house. You called and you sounded so lost."
"Don't,"
she whispered.
He
pushed on. "I told you that so I didn't freak you out. I took an
extra couple days off. I didn't tell anyone where I was going and I
got on the next plane to Toronto. I found a hotel room and took you
out for supper."
She
looked out the window, but he knew she was listening. "I
remembered the same feelings when I went to school, not quite as far
away, but it was still a hard time those first few months. Bryce
coached me through it. I don't know if I would have graduated if he
hadn't pushed me. Anyway, I needed to see you. And when I was sitting
there at dinner with you, that need scared the fucking shit out of
me. You were eighteen, I was at the beginning of the divorce."
"I
thought I was in love with you at sixteen when you married Lisa. And
at twelve when you showed up for supper once a week."
"I
knew you had this hero worship thing with me. And once I was married
to Lisa, I even laughed about your crush a few times. Then, she got
jealous of the time I spent with you. But that night, Shanna the
almost woman, showed up at my hotel room. We were alone, we were
adults, and you kissed me."
"And
you told me no. You didn't want me then. Why the sudden change in
heart now?"
"You
think I didn't want you then?" He laughed bitterly. "I
wanted you so much I thought I would get sick. I couldn't kiss you,
it would turn into, god, making love. You were my boss’
daughter. I was thirty, you were eighteen. I never felt so guilty in
my life. It killed me to push you away."
"I
was eighteen. I was old enough to make my own decisions."
"I
couldn't, Shan."
"So
you broke my heart instead."
"I
didn't know I broke your heart. I thought I hurt your feelings a
little, and I called you every week after for three months until you
started talking to me again. I thought all was forgiven then."
"It
wasn't then and it isn't now. You can't come up and decide you want
me, five years later. Trenton is going to propose to me. I have a
life. You think, what? I'll drop everything because you suddenly
figured your shit out?" She turned to him, angry as hell.
Why
were angry women so hot? Passion, he supposed.
"I
don't expect anything, but I couldn't let you go around thinking I
didn't want you, I didn't love you. You needed it to make an informed
decision. I won't ask you to leave Trenton for me. I never asked you
to stay. But don't think I won't try to change your mind."
"You
aren't even making sense. Can you leave me alone? Please. No, maybe I
should head home."
"Shan,
you can't leave. We have work to do here. I didn't come to make your
life miserable, but I can put aside my personal feelings for an hour
so we can answer more e-mails. Because you have a brilliant mind, and
if I only have you for less than seven workdays, I need to take
advantage of it while I can."
She
sighed. "Fine, my headache is gone. I can be a professional and
not stab you with a pen for the next hour."
He
smiled. "Grand, login to your computer. There are some reports
to go over."
Chapter 6
Gabe.
Shanna
pushed her blankets down and threw her legs over the side of her bed.
It was well after midnight, she should be exhausted, but every time
she closed her eyes, she could see brown eyes staring into her soul.
She would hear his words over and over. "I wanted you then, so
much it hurt. It killed me to push you away. Don't think I won't try
to change your mind."
There
was a part of her that wanted to take his hand and give in. Until she
and Trenton got serious, moving home, working at Whittikar Cabinets
and being with Gabe was all she'd ever dreamed about. It was all she
ever wanted. Part of her wanted that dream to come true, because Gabe
had all but promised it to her.
She
fell back on the bed, recalling the way his hands had felt on her.
The way she used to fantasize about him. In her fantasies, it always
went further. All the way to bed, then the altar.
She
groaned. It wasn't fair. Five years after he'd stomped on her dreams.
Now he wanted to make them come true. He expected she'd change all
her plans for him. He had to expect he would win, or he wouldn't
bother. Gabriel Brande did not do anything halfway. He never took no
for an answer, it was the start of a negotiation.