Read Where Would I Be Without You Online
Authors: CJ Hawk
Strolling through the aisles slowly,
I noticed only a few customers with carts full of groceries. It wasn’t a big store, but it held all the basics, and I wasn’t one for stocking up. I grabbed a hand-held cart and figured what I could fit in; I could walk home without too much hassle. I had almost wished I had accepted Colton’s ride but was sure I would fall under his handsome spell.
I
hadn’t felt so in different around a man like this in a long time. Hugh made me feel that way when we first worked together. He had a way with words, and his actions were so smooth that I felt under a trance. However, that trance shattered in a heartbeat as I opened that office door to see him and his secretary's vertical tango. That thought made me realize that the last thing I needed was a man. I needed hope, myself Hope, to pull up from the muck and the mess and move on. I planned to do this without a man.
Nope.
I did not need a man to rescue me, like my mother didn’t need a man to help with her life. I knew there were times my mother was lonely and longed for male companionship. However, she did an incredible job raising me. We did everything together and this not telling her what happened was killing me. The quicker I got my act together, the prouder she would be of me. Besides, I was young and had plenty of time for men and serious dating later. My first and only objective was getting over the pain about Hugh and my father while figuring out my next step in my career.
By the time,
I turned to the produce, I saw Colton again and smiled. I looked down and away. He was sexy as hell, and each time I saw him; I felt more attracted and vulnerable by the minute. I quickly grabbed two apples and a small bag of carrots and worked my way to the checkout lanes. With two ahead and one woman behind, I pulled out my credit card and damned myself. In my rush, I grabbed my corporate card. At this moment, I hoped like hell it would work and that for once, human resources was not on the ball and had already cancelled it.
Then as
my groceries rung up and a total appeared on the register, I handed over my card and held my breath. Just as I had not hoped for, it was declined. A bead of perspiration felt itself upon my upper lip, and I bit into my lower lip. I let out a breath of air to explain, but before I could offer to jog back and grab the right card, a large tanned hand held out a platinum card in front of me and spoke in that all too solid voice that attracted me to him.
“I got it Sam. Miss Hope here must have grabbed an old credit card. Miss Hope is a good friend of Julies and will be staying at Julies home while she works on a book she is writing.”
His voice and demeanor, just now made up for the foolish way he acted last night. I couldn't help but feel saved by him like a hero. I didn't want that. I didn't want that at all. Somehow, though, I was very grateful and realized at a time like now, a helping hand from a friend wasn't such a bad thing after all. My thoughts weren't thinking friend; they were thinking sultry again. I could do nothing to stop them but stand there and smile.
I
let out a whoosh of air, and I could have reached up and kissed the man, but then I was sure I wouldn’t have stopped at a peck. He was setting the town gossip for women around me with a base story of why I moved to Hope Springs Falls. So maybe, a little help from a man didn’t make me weak, maybe it just made me smart.
I
waited outside for Colton to pay for his groceries and wanted to thank him. The man had a way with the local women, and even the cashier Sam seemed to respect him as if he was the local mayor. He had been in there yakking it up for twenty minutes, and I could have jogged to the rental by now but wanted to thank him and repay him. Maybe I did just want to spend a few more minutes in his presence. Testing myself as to what it was about him that made things stir up my insides. Questioning my abilities to do things on my own and the longing I had for those strong arms to hold me. Perhaps washing away all the mess, I just went through. Maybe, just maybe, a rebound man who lasted six months could be written into my plan.
Colton strolled out of the store like a man
who just won his first bull ride. His smile was a mile wide, and his eyes held a mischievous look to them. The blues of his eyes shown just under the brim of the straw cowboy hat he was wearing as he walked out of the store. A hat he had not been wearing as he went in. I hadn’t looked at his cart when he paid for my groceries. I had softly thanked him and walked out briskly. However, here I stood leaning against his truck wondering if he saw me waiting out here and was playing some type of cat and mouse game and was making me wait. “I wanted to say thanks.”
“My pleasure. You didn’t have to wait out here to say it. I heard you in the store. I thought you wanted to walk home. Hometown stores can take a little longer when you’re trying to get out of there
." Then he cleared his voice and sounded off. "Look. I hate to admit this, but my mouth may have started up a few unnecessary rumors last night at the cafe. I was just trying to set a few of the gossipers that were in the store straight." He smiled down at me and looked apologetic.
"I can handle it. Not that I like my business spread across the local paper for everyone to read, but I have handled worse. Believe me." I looked down and pushed off his truck. I heard him say I'm sorry again and that helped, but I had a feeling, he was the type of man who truly meant it, and that was more dangerous as his sex appeal already had me thinking.
“Oh. I guess maybe I could use that ride after all. That is so I can repay you.” I leaned up straighter and felt that air of electricity between us. As if we could make mad passionate love, right there, or we could don on a pair of boxing gloves and knock each other out. Whatever was building between us seemed dangerously intense. I had to get back to my frame of mind that only friendly help was all I was looking for.
“My pleasure then. Hop in.” Colton opened the
driver-side door, and I hopped in. He pulled the cowboy hat from his head and ran his fingers through his hair for a second. This got me to think how my fingers would feel running through his hair. I quickly dismissed my feelings and looked straight ahead at the grocery store.
As he started up the truck, a country station was talking about the unusually warm weather due in this week.
I wondered how Julie cooled the house. I hadn't seen air conditioning, and I hadn't ventured out to the shed to see if there were fans or a swamp cooler. I wanted to ask Colton, but I knew I was a big girl and could handle this type of situation on my own. Besides, as soon as my car was fixed, I could drive the next town over to the supermart and get me something to help stay cool.
“Nice truck.”
I looked down at the cowboy hat and thought that with the gardening I was planning on doing, and the expected heat, maybe I should have gotten a hat and some sunscreen.
“Thanks. It’s not mine. It’s my
dad's. My mom and I didn’t want him driving anymore so I told him my car had to go back to the dealer in Texas, and he won’t drive mom’s car" He stopped talking suddenly like he just told me more information than he wanted to. I got the jest that his dad's health was failing but nobody informed me as to what or why.
“I’m sorry. To hear about your dad
. Mrs. Walker mentioned you were a high-priced property lawyer who came home to take care of your dad.” I felt a bit awkward. Maybe he had his own dilemma to deal with like I had mine. Perhaps that was the explanation for the cattiness last night. Although Cindy was sure to take the time and explain to me this morning why she thought it was. The thought that Colton Charpel might be attracted to me as I am to him held a dangerous tone.
The silence let
me know that what I said was a very sensitive subject and Mrs. Walker hadn’t elaborated, and I had not asked. Now, sitting in his truck I could only imagine what type of sickness was taking hold of his dad that a grown man had to come home to help take care of him, and not let him drive his truck. Looking down at the cowboy hat, I decided to change the subject with a bit of glee.
“Perhaps I need to get me one of those hats for the heat that is expected this week. Does the town have a local pool or does everyone do the sprinkler thing?”
“Alzheimer’s.” He blurted it out with a bit of pain, but as soon as he said it, I saw the pain. Then he took a deep breath, and he seemed to feel tremendously better. Something about me made him want to talk to me, to bare his soul and troubles. Something told him; I would gladly share those feelings with him. It would give me something to take my mind off things, my troubles in particular.
With a hard swallow in
my throat, I searched desperately for the right words. The typical I’m sorry sounded so insincere, when really my heart just expanded tenfold. “This is a tough time?”
He shook his head yes, yet he looked ahead as he drove. He seemed lost in thought, and I wanted so badly to reach out and touch him. To tell him he could tell me anything, and I would understand. Instead, I noticed we drove right passed where the rental was.
“Uh… Colton. We missed the turn.”
“That we did. I guess I was lost in thought.” He turned the truck and circled back to the street the rental was located on.
Thinking how I knew that lost in thought feeling all too well lately. I felt the truck stop in front of the rental while I was staring down with my hands in my lap with the straps of the grocery bag putting pressure in my palm as they were resting on the truck floor board, and I had half lifted them up to take out. I stopped mid action to relay an offer of friendship, something that I knew I needed all too well right now. “Listen, why don’t you come on in for some coffee, and we can talk.”
He seemed hesitant in answering.
“No that’s alright. I’ve got to run into Cheyenne and grab a few supplies for the ranch. Julie has a repair list for this place, and I told her that I would help her with it. Seeing as she spends all her time in L.A. That, and she didn’t want to spend a fortune paying someone else to fix it up. So, I will catch you around. I have a key, so if I am inside fixing something don’t be scared. Besides this town is pretty safe. Everyone still leaves the back doors unlocked.”
Looking into his eyes,
I cocked my head with a flirtatious smile and asked. “Not the front doors?” I had to fun with him a little. He really looked like he could use a smile or some comfort.
“Nope. Not the front doors.” Stopping short of a full-blown wicked smile, his
eyes focused on my lips. I knew they were full and pink from the jog in the sun, and I really wanted to kiss him as well. I wasn't misreading his sign of attraction, but I got the feeling he had his own internal struggles going on. The last thing a man like him needed right now was a trouble loaded woman like myself and vice versus.
Sensing what was about to take place,
I really had no reason to refuse a man who cared for his parents, rescued me in the store and fixed up houses for friends. On the other hand, were they more than friends? Shoving that thought aside I turned just right and felt I had to say something. “Well.” In a voice that was short of breath as I felt. “See you around later than.”
The next thing I felt were
his lips covering mine in a gentle kiss while his hand smoothly wrapped itself up in my hair on the back of my neck, pulling me in closer. It was a sensual soft kiss from a man who smelled of sunshine.
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