While We're Far Apart (38 page)

“Fischer is a common name,” he had told Esther and Peter as he had stalled for time. “I will have to think about it. I will let you know if I have any ideas.”

He had asked Rebbe Grunfeld to help him. If the Fischers belonged to a Jewish congregation in Brooklyn, Jacob would find them through the network of synagogues who worked with the War Refugee Board.

Now the two men halted on the sidewalk in front of Jacob’s apartment building. The rain had finally stopped, and the rebbe shook the water from his umbrella before folding it. “These children who live upstairs from you,” he said. “They mean a lot to you, yes?”

Jacob nodded. “They do not know that their mother was Jewish, or that they are considered Jewish, as well. Their mother died alongside my Miriam. Their father is fighting the war in Europe. They deserve to meet their mother’s family. I never realized how important a family was until Hashem chose to separate me from my own.”

“Please don’t blame Hashem,” the rebbe said gently. “What you feel for your son, your longing to find him, to hear from him, to be reunited with him – imagine how much more Hashem longs for us, His children.”

The words haunted Jacob as he said good-bye to the rebbe and went up the porch steps to his apartment. He had just turned on the lights and the radio when someone knocked on his door. He opened it, expecting to see the children, but found Penny Goodrich. She wore her work uniform and carried her lunch box and umbrella.

“I saw you come home ahead of me,” she said, “so I knew the kids weren’t here with you yet, and I wondered . . . could I talk to you alone for a minute?”

“Certainly. Come in.”

She stepped across the threshold just far enough for him to shut the door, but she remained standing. “I have been thinking, Mr. Mendel. I know you told Esther and Peter that you would help them look for their grandparents, but I’m worried the children are going to get hurt. I mean . . . what if they find out something really terrible about them and . . . ?” She couldn’t finish.

“Please, come in, Penny. Sit down.” He led her to the sofa, and she slumped down on it, her body hunched over as if she expected to be beaten.

“Sorry . . . I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she tried to compose herself.

“You do not need to apologize. . . . If you want to tell me what is wrong, I will gladly listen. But if not, then I will not pry.”

She pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and blew her nose, then took several deep breaths as if about to plunge into icy water. “I found out who my real parents are and now I wish I never had. The truth is so much worse that not knowing. I’m afraid the kids will find out something horrible, too, and they’ll be so hurt – ”

He waited while Penny blew her nose again and wiped her eyes. “What could they learn that would be so hurtful?” he finally asked. But even as he spoke the words, he wondered how they would feel to learn that their mother was Jewish.

“My mother gave me up because she didn’t love me,” Penny said. “She couldn’t love me. She was raped.”

Her words struck Jacob with brute force. What could he possibly say? He sat down beside Penny and rested his hand on her shoulder. “My poor, dear girl.”

“I haven’t told anyone except you. I can’t tell anyone. I’m so ashamed.”

“Why in the world should you be ashamed? You are innocent of any wrongdoing. You are not responsible for the misdeeds of your father.” But he could tell she wasn’t listening to him.

“It turns out my older sister, Hazel, is really my mother. My parents – the people I always thought were my parents – are my grandparents.”

“Ah. I see.” Jacob had suspected as much on the night they had celebrated Purim, after Penny mentioned a much-older sister and elderly parents. He had kept his suspicions to himself. But he had never imagined a rape.

“Eddie would never want to marry a wife who had a criminal for a father or let her be the mother to his children. No man would.”

“Now, listen. Any man who would blame you for something you could not control is not worthy of you. Besides, I see no reason at all why you should even mention your father to Mr. Shaffer or to anyone else.”

“Eddie deserves to know there’s a criminal in my background. My father’s traits are in my blood.”

“Nonsense. Every single one of us is capable of sin, not just your father. This war has revealed mankind at our very worst, yes? Even the Scriptures show us some very revered men who have sinned. Moses and King David committed murder, yet Hashem used them in His work. Do not carry a burden of sin that is not yours. Hold your head up high, Penny. Scripture says that we must not blame children for the sins of their parents.”

Penny nodded, but Jacob could see that she would need time to think about what he had said. The wound she had received was still much too raw.

“Have you talked to your birth mother since learning the truth?” he asked.

“She wouldn’t want to see me, and who could blame her? I’m a reminder of a horrible tragedy. No wonder she never comes home to visit us.”

“Perhaps. But I encourage you to see her, just the same. What is the worst thing that she might do? Tell you to go away? She cannot change the past by refusing to see you. It still happened. And you deserve to meet your real mother. Tell me, does she know that you have learned the truth?”

“I don’t think so. I haven’t spoken to her, and I don’t think my parents will tell her.”

“Then why not go to visit her as a sister? As if you never learned the truth? You can judge by her reaction how she feels about you. You strike me as sensible enough to understand why she might have bad feelings.”

“Thank you, Mr. Mendel. Maybe I will.” She heaved an enormous sigh and said, “Anyway, I’m telling you this because I’m worried about how the kids might react if they learned some awful truth about their mother.”

“That is very thoughtful of you.” Jacob considered for a moment, then decided to tell Penny what he’d been doing. “The children do not know it, but I have been searching for their family. I have already decided not to say anything to Esther and Peter until I learn more about their grandparents and their reasons for rejecting Rachel. I agree with you – I do not want them to be hurt in any way. I assure you that I will do my best to protect them.”

“Thank you.” She looked greatly relieved, as if she might want to hug him. “I guess I should go,” she said, rising from the sofa.

“Before you do, may I talk with you about a concern that I have?”

“Of course! I’m sorry – ”

“I am worried about Esther and the boy she has been seeing so often.”

Penny appeared shocked. “A
boy . . .
? What boy?”

“He lives in the building next door, and everyone in the neighborhood has heard quarreling in that family over the years. The boy is a little older than Esther, I believe, and I fear that he is also more worldly-wise. I have seen the two of them holding hands as they walk home from school.”

“What?”

“I am sorry for shocking you. But they often stand out back in the alley for a while while he smokes a cigarette or two.”

“I feel terrible! I had no idea! I should have been more careful and asked more questions – ”

“It is not your fault.” He rested his hand on her arm to calm her. “You have never raised children before. Besides, young people like Esther often want to act grown-up. They seldom tell their parents everything they are doing.”

“My sister, Hazel – I mean, my mother. I mean . . .” She exhaled. “My parents said that Hazel started sneaking around behind their backs and that’s how she got into trouble.”

“I do not think it is nearly that serious. Esther has a good head on her shoulders. I only meant to say that school will soon close for the summer, and I think she should be supervised while you are at work. I may not be home every day to watch over her now that my work takes me away so often.”

“You’re right, Mr. Mendel. Thanks so much for telling me. I’ll make sure the kids stay with their grandmother while I’m at work.”

“I think that would be a good idea. And please think about what I said, yes? About visiting your mother?”

“I will.” She edged toward the door. “I’d better get upstairs or they’ll wonder what happened to me. Thanks for your help, Mr. Mendel.”

“You are very welcome.”

C
HAPTER 33

J
UNE 1944

E
STHER DUMPED CORNFLAKES
into a bowl and poured milk over them.

She could hear Penny bustling around upstairs, making the beds, collecting laundry – who knew what else? Esther wished she would hurry up and leave for work. Penny never allowed them to listen to the radio in the morning, saying she didn’t want them to get distracted by it and be late for school. But Esther couldn’t stand to wait all day to hear the latest news about the war.

At last Penny rushed into the kitchen and grabbed her lunch box from the tabletop. “Bye. I’m off to work. See you kids later.”

Peter looked up from his cereal and waved to her.

“Bye,” Esther said. She listened for the front door to close, and the moment it did, she leaped up from the kitchen table and hurried into the living room to turn on the radio, carrying her bowl of cereal with her. The downstairs door thumped shut just as the radio finished warming up.

“The long-awaited Allied invasion of Nazi-held territory in France began early this morning, Tuesday, June 6. According to reports, the assault began with the saturation bombing of coastal batteries by over one thousand RAF heavy bombers, followed by the nighttime airborne invasion by the U.S. 82nd and 101st Airborne Divisions, along with the British 6th Airborne Division . . .”

“Peter!” Esther shouted. “Peter, come here and listen to this!” He ran barefoot into the living room, wiping his mouth on his pajama sleeve. “They did it, Peter, they did it! You know the big invasion everyone’s been waiting for? It’s happening, right now over in France. It’s finally D-Day!” He perched on the arm of the sofa, his mouth open in surprise as they listened together.

“. . . At dawn, fifty convoys began landing five divisions of Allied troops on the beaches of northern France. Meanwhile, naval escort carriers and destroyer squadrons patrolled the English Channel for Nazi U-boats. According to early reports, the Allied Expeditionary Force met with stiff resistance on at least one of the landing sites, suffering severe losses . . .”

Before Esther could stop him, Peter jumped to his feet and switched off the radio. “What are you doing? Turn it on. I want to hear it.” He blocked Esther’s attempts to reach the dial, butting against her with his shoulders and elbows, furiously shaking his head. But she was bigger than he was, and stronger. She dodged his flailing arms and shoved him out of the way. “Move, Peter!”

He staggered to one side and fell to his hands and knees, and at first Esther feared she might have hurt him. But just as she heard the announcer say, “Late in the day, Nazi Panzer divisions began a counterattack against Allied forces,” Peter yanked the plug out of the socket. The radio died.

“What did you do that for? Plug it in! I need to hear it.” He continued to shake his head, his jaw thrust out in anger. He crouched in the corner with the plug in his fist, ready to fight back if she tried to approach him. “What is the matter with you? Daddy might be fighting in that invasion. Don’t you want to hear it?”

Peter put his hands over his ears, shaking his head. She wanted to kick him in frustration. “Well, I want to hear it! Plug it back in!” He refused. He pointed to himself, then to her, then to the front door. Esther understood his sign language well enough to know what he was saying. They needed to get dressed and go to school or they would be late. And he was right.

“You make me so mad sometimes!” She stomped her foot. “This is one of the biggest battles in the whole war, and we’re going to miss it, thanks to you!”

She ran from the living room and hurried upstairs, determined to get dressed before Peter did and beat him downstairs to the radio. They had moved Esther’s bureau into Penny’s room, and Esther had begun changing her clothes in there for privacy after Penny had taken her shopping for new undergarments. Esther had needed her first brassiere. She had been embarrassed at first, but several other girls in her class wore them, too.

Esther dressed as quickly as she could, but when she came out, Peter stood waiting for her by the bedroom door. He handed her the little chalkboard. He had written her a message:
I’m too scared to listen if Daddy might be there.

Her anger melted away. Peter had witnessed the crash that had killed their mother, and now he didn’t want to hear about a battle that might claim their father. Esther sighed. “Okay, I’ll keep the radio off.” They finished getting ready, grabbed their lunch boxes and book bags, and left the apartment together without saying another word.

The news vendor on the corner hawked his papers, shouting “Extra! Extra! D-Day invasion! Read all about it!” Esther longed to buy a copy, but there wasn’t time.

At school, her teachers and fellow students talked about the Allied landing all morning. Her social studies teacher pulled down the roller map of Europe and showed them the narrow sliver of blue water called the English Channel and the Normandy coast where the invasion was taking place. Esther couldn’t stop thinking about the war, wondering where her father was and what he was doing. She made up her mind to listen to the radio when she got home, whether Peter liked it or not.

She bounded up the porch steps after school and found two V-mail letters from Daddy in the mailbox – one for her and Peter, and the other for Penny. Roy Fuller had sent Penny a V-mail letter, as well. Esther read their father’s letter first before giving it to Peter. Daddy had written it before the invasion while he was still somewhere in England. He said that the Allies expected to cross the channel any day, as soon as the rain let up and the weather cleared.

She handed Daddy’s letter to Peter, but he looked so frightened as he sat slumped on the sofa reading it that she didn’t dare turn on the radio, afraid they would get into another argument like the one they’d had this morning. She left him alone and went downstairs to see if Mr. Mendel was home. He would listen to the news and talk about it with her. But he wasn’t home. She trudged back upstairs and sat down at the dining room table with Peter to do her homework, then she practiced the piano. F inally Penny arrived home. Esther raced into the hallway to meet her.