While We're Far Apart (39 page)

“Did you get today’s newspaper? Did you read it?” She had talked Penny into buying a newspaper at the bus station every afternoon on her way home from work, and Esther had begun cutting out articles and pictures the way Mr. Mendel used to do. She had used some of her allowance to buy a big scrapbook and a bottle of glue at the five-and-dime store and had already filled more than half of the scrapbook’s pages with clippings.

“I bought two newspapers,” Penny said. “This is a really big day, isn’t it?”

“Everyone at school said it’s the biggest day since Pearl Harbor.”

“Here. Take both papers. I need to start supper.”

Esther didn’t ask Penny if she needed help. Instead, she carried the newspapers into the dining room, reading the front page as she walked. As soon as she sat down at the table with them, Peter closed his arithmetic book and disappeared up the stairs. Esther didn’t care. She spread out the first paper and began to read, too excited to sit still. She cut out several articles about D-Day, as well as a big map that showed where the Allies had landed. She hadn’t even finished cutting the first paper when Penny called her and Peter to dinner. Penny had heated up last night’s leftover casserole along with a can of peas, opening a can of pears for dessert. They ate at the kitchen table.

“How’s Roy?” Esther asked, remembering the letter.

Penny smiled and it seemed like a light bulb had switched on, lighting up her face. “He’s doing good – same old Roy, always making corny jokes. He can’t say where he is, of course, but he says the weather is hotter than a burnt biscuit. He feels like his skin is going to melt right off. He says they eat so much rice, day after day after day, that he never wants to eat another spoonful of it as long as he lives. Oh, and he said to be sure and say hi to you kids.”

Esther scooped up a forkful of peas. She gobbled down her food like a starving person, eager to return to her newspapers. “I like Roy,” she said. “I wish they hadn’t sent him overseas. He said he might take us to Coney Island this summer and we’d go on all the rides at Luna Park.”

“I know. Maybe we can find someone else to take us.”

“Who?” Esther said with a huff. “There is nobody else.”

“Roy added a note to you, Peter,” Penny said. “He wants you to write and tell him how the Dodgers are doing this season. And he said he’s sorry he won’t be able to take you to a game like he had hoped.”

Peter nodded without looking up.

After she and Penny washed and dried the dishes, Esther cut up the second newspaper. “Can we listen to a news program?” she asked when Penny turned on the radio. Peter tugged on Penny’s sleeve, shaking his head in protest. Penny looked from one of them to the other.

“I think we should listen to a regular program, Esther. Isn’t
The Lone Ranger
on tonight? You like that show, don’t you?”

“But I want to hear the news!”

“There’s plenty of news in the papers.”

“But I want to hear more.”

Penny put her arm around Peter’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Not tonight,” she said quietly.

Esther stomped her foot. “Why not?”

“You’re becoming more and more obsessed with the news, Esther, and it isn’t good for you. I think you should put the papers away for tonight and come listen to a program with us. Stop torturing yourself.”

“I need to know what’s happening!”

“Why? You can’t change anything or control it.”

Esther knew she was right. The battles raging over in France were as out of her control as the car that had killed her mother. She couldn’t do anything to keep her father safe, either. “I want to know because I’m scared,” she finally said.

“Peter, find us a program to listen to,” Penny told him. While he knelt to tune the radio, she went to Esther.

Esther quickly crossed her arms and turned away, fearing that Penny would try to hug her. “Listen,” Penny said gently. “Remember when we read Queen Esther’s story with Mr. Mendel? Remember what he said? God was there with Esther all the time. He didn’t say anything, but He was there, controlling all the details.”

“But it’s so hard to wait and not know what’s happening.”

“I know. It’s hard for everyone who has loved ones fighting in the war. But as far as today’s battle is concerned, your father probably didn’t go ashore with all those other soldiers. The army won’t need trucks and jeeps right away. They’ll wait a few days until they can move away from the beaches and go farther inland, like the newspaper said they would do. He’ll be okay.”

“Just because Peter doesn’t want to listen to the news doesn’t mean I should have to wait. Why does he get his own way?”

“Because this time he’s right. Hearing it would frighten all of us. We need to stay calm until we get another letter from your father. Then we’ll know where he is and what he’s doing. In the meantime, we have to stay strong. Think of poor Mr. Mendel. He hasn’t received any news about his son in more than two years.”

“I hate waiting to hear.”

“I do, too. But we shouldn’t let our imaginations run wild in the meantime. Worrying too much about your father isn’t good for any of us.”

“Why are you worried about Daddy?”

For a moment, Penny looked flustered. Her cheeks turned bright pink, as if the apartment were very warm. “Because he’s my friend,” she finally said. “Listen, as long as we’re talking about your father, I want to read you part of the letter I got from him today.” She pulled the V-mail from her apron pocket and unfolded it. “You listen, too, Peter. Your father said, ‘I know the kids will be out of school for the summer soon, and I don’t want them to stay home alone all day while you’re at work, Penny.’ ”

“What? That’s not fair! I’m old enough to stay home by myself. I don’t need a baby-sitter.”

Penny held up her hand for silence. “Don’t stomp your foot like that, Esther. Poor Mr. Mendel will think the ceiling is coming down. This is what your father wrote: ‘Last summer, the kids stayed with their grandmother during the day, and I think it would be a good idea if they stayed there this summer, too. Especially after what you told me about – ’ ” Penny stopped reading and quickly refolded the letter. “Never mind. I read you the important part.”

“Especially after what?” Esther asked. “I want to know what else Daddy said.”

“It’s private.” Penny slid the letter into her pocket. “I know you’re growing up, Esther, but with Mr. Mendel away so much of the time, we all agreed that it isn’t a good idea for you to be here by yourselves. You can ride the bus with me when I leave for work in the morning and spend the day with your grandmother, then – ”

“No, I don’t want to. It’s not fair! I won’t get to spend any time with my friends!”

Jacky had promised Esther that they would hang around together this summer when he wasn’t working at the grocery store. She had been looking forward to it.

“In exchange,” Penny continued, “you and Peter get to stay home on the weekends instead of sleeping overnight at your grandmother’s house. You’ll have all day Saturday to be with your friends.”

It was a small consolation. “Can I go to the movies with them?”

“Sure. And maybe the three of us can go other places together, like to the zoo or the beach.”

“I’m still going to write to Daddy and tell him I’m old enough to stay home.”

“You can try, but I don’t think he’ll change his mind,” Penny said. “Your father also said that he doesn’t think your grandma should be alone all day. She has too much time to feel sad about your uncle Joe. She’s lonely without her family, Esther, just like Mr. Mendel is. You two kids have cheered him this past year and helped him not to miss his family so much. Now you need to spend some time with your grandma and cheer her up, too.”

Esther wanted to scream in frustration. Then she thought of something else. “How am I supposed to practice the piano at Grandma’s house? She doesn’t have one.”

“Well . . . I guess you’ll have to wait until we get home every day – ”

“That stinks! I was looking forward to summer and now it’s ruined!” Esther stormed out of the dining room and just kept going, slamming the front door and thundering down the steps. She thought about telling her troubles to Mr. Mendel, but she knew that he probably would agree that they should spend time with their grandmother.

Esther unlocked the front door and stomped outside onto the porch just as Jacky Hoffman walked past the apartment. “Hey, hey, beautiful . . . What’s wrong? Where are you running off to?”

Esther didn’t want to tell him that she was angry for being treated like a baby – especially when she was pouting like one. She took a breath to calm down and shrugged her shoulders. “No place . . . Did you hear the news about the invasion?”

“Sure, everybody has.”

“Yeah . . . well . . . I’m worried about my father.”

He tilted his head to one side in sympathy. “You poor girl . . . Come here . . .” He reached out his hand to her in invitation, and she went down the porch steps to him. “Come with me, Esther.” Jacky took her hand in his and led her around the corner of the house and down the narrow walkway between his apartment building and hers. When they reached his back courtyard, Jacky ducked into a cubbyhole beneath the stairs and pulled Esther down beside him. “This is my own special hangout,” he said.

The dark space smelled musty, and there wasn’t very much room. The ground was cold and damp beneath her skirt. But Esther’s heart felt like it might jump right out of her rib cage as Jacky wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “There,” he murmured. “Feel better now?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” She hadn’t felt this frightened and excited and breathless since Daddy took her on the roller coaster at Luna Park. She wasn’t sure if she should be alone with Jacky this way, but it felt so good to be held and comforted that she decided to stay. Esther missed her father’s hugs.

“Where is your father stationed?” he asked.

“He’s over in England. I’m worried that he might be in the D-Day invasion.” Jacky listened patiently while Esther unloaded her fears, describing details from the news articles she had read. She talked until long after the sun had set and the first star began to shine in the evening sky. And all that time, Jacky kept his arms wrapped tightly around her, his cheek resting against her hair. Her cheek was pressed against his chest as they sat squished together in the tiny space.

She stopped talking when she heard footsteps shuffling up the walkway between the two buildings. Jacky put his finger over her lips to shush her. A figure emerged from the shadows, and Esther recognized her brother’s silhouette in the dim light.

“That’s Peter,” she whispered. “He’s looking for me.”

“He can’t see us. He’ll go away.”

“I should go home. They’ll be worried.”

“Stay just a little longer.” Jacky began to caress her shoulder.

Esther didn’t think her heart could beat any faster, but then it sped up, not from excitement but from unease. It no longer felt comfortable to be alone with him, sitting so close to him. She was afraid that he might try to kiss her, and she didn’t want him to. Kissing was something that grown-ups did, and Esther didn’t think she was ready to be a grown-up.

“I can’t stay.” She squirmed away from him and crawled out of the cubbyhole, brushing dirt from her damp, wrinkled clothes.

“Hey, don’t go yet.”

“I have to. Thanks for talking with me, Jacky.” She ran back to her apartment as if someone was chasing her, her footsteps echoing in the narrow space between the buildings.

C
HAPTER 34

J
ACOB SAT AT HIS DESK
late one afternoon, composing a fund-raising letter for the War Refugee Board, when he heard a knock on his door. He opened it to find Peter holding up his little slate with a message on it:
Can I use your radio?

“My radio? Is something wrong with yours?”

He shook his head as he erased the words and wrote,
Esther likes the news and I don’t
.

“Ah. I see. Yes, certainly, come in. Which program did you want to hear?” Peter held an imaginary bat in his hands and pantomimed hitting a baseball. “The baseball game. Of course, I should have guessed. Well, there is my radio. Help yourself to it.”

Jacob returned to his work while Peter twirled the tuning dial, eventually finding the baseball game. He flopped down on his stomach on Jacob’s rug, his chin propped on his fists. Several times in the past few weeks, Peter had complained to him about how often Esther listened to the news. Jacob knew she was worried about their father. The children still hadn’t received a letter from him since the D-Day invasion, and to make matters worse, the Nazis had begun to fire their new, deadly V-1 missiles at military bases and civilian targets in England – where Ed Shaffer was stationed.

“Either way, Daddy is in danger,” Esther had told Jacob, “whether he’s fighting on the mainland or staying behind in England.”

“If your father is in England,” Jacob had told her, “I am sure he will find safety inside a bomb shelter when the V-1 missiles strike.” His assurances hadn’t helped. Esther continued her obsession with the news, which was why Peter came to his apartment every day.

Jacob could no longer concentrate on his letter. He laid down his pen and turned to Peter. “Have you ever watched your team play at the ball park?”

Peter nodded, then sat up and wrote,
Daddy used to take me
.

“I see. And is it different to watch a game in person?”

He nodded again and wrote,
Much better! I want to catch a fly ball
. Peter pointed to Jacob, silently asking if Jacob had ever seen a game.

“No, I have never been to a ball game. It is not something I would think to do.”

The telephone rang and Jacob reached to answer it, recognizing Rebbe Grunfeld’s voice greeting him. “I have good news, for you, Yaacov. I believe we have found David and Esther Fischer.” Jacob stopped breathing. “They belong to a congregation in Crown Heights – Reform, not Orthodox. They’re not observant. Their rebbe said they have two sons and a daughter named Rachel, who died. Does this sound like the people you are searching for?”