Whisper To Me In The Dark (8 page)

Cash incessantly complained about the paper thin walls, but they weren't thin enough for Angelica's taste.

"A glass! A glass would be perfect," Angelica whispered to herself, as she grabbed the lead crystal cut tumbler off the dresser and pressed it against the faded wallpaper. By pressing her ear against the glass, the muffled disembodied voices became all too clear to her.

"Cash, darling," Rita giggled, "oh how I love it when you do that to me."  More laughter was heard as Angelica's stomach dropped. It was quite possible that her heart stopped beating altogether. She couldn't breathe. The room started to spin. It was all too claustrophobic. The mauve lace shawls she'd hung in various places on the walls around the room to make everything prettier seemed to be closing in on her. The reflected light from Cash's apartment that always shined back into Angelica's window and made her feel so secure, suddenly disappeared just like the light that quickly went out in Angelica's previously twinkling eyes.

Chapter 10

If you need anything - whisper to me in the dark.
Cash's  note, with its chicken scratch writing, was casually thrown on Angelica's bed. Apparently, thoughtlessly. Cash normally placed it carefully on her pillow to make sure she'd see it each night, sometimes with a random joke added that he'd heard and found funny that day. Sometimes he had the most juvenile sense of humor. But oh how she treasured those notes and loved the jokes. How was she supposed to whisper to him in the dark when he was so busy entertaining his overnight  whor... um ... guests? His stupid chicken scratch penmanship. Oh, how it irritated her. How infuriated he'd become trying to put the blue ink in his fountain pen. Angelica would finally grab it from the death grip he held it with and just calmly do it herself. He had no patience for anything that didn't immediately bend to his will. He'd refuse to use the blotter when he was done writing so it usually ended up a smeared, blurry mess. Angelica crumpled the note into a ball, threw it across the room and wiped a stray tear that spilled down her face.

Looking in the mirror, Angelica was greeted with her tear stained face with blue streaks. "Darn him. Oh darn him!" The ink had gotten all over her hands and now her increasingly red, tear covered face.

She'd better wash it off quickly before it stained permanently. It wouldn't do much good for the understudy on a famous play to be walking around looking like a circus clown. "Oh how Mr. Noble would scream," Angelica whispered to herself.  Her visage gave new meaning to feeling blue.

***

Earlier that afternoon.

"Do me a favor. Put this note on Angelica's pillow," Cash asked Rita while she stared, as always, mesmerized, into her compact mirror.

"You know you two spend an unnatural amount of time together - she being your brother's fiance and everything," was Rita's annoyed reply, as she begrudgingly walked toward Angelica's room, tossing her flowing blonde hair, and batting her icy eyes, looking for just a little trouble she could get into ...

***

The next morning.

Cash appeared to be in the most vile mood Angelica had ever seen him in. Slamming the heavy wooden door, he sat down at Angelica's table and said, "Pour me a cup of coffee."

Angelica was in no sunshiney mood herself the next morning thanks to Rita's little performance the previous night. "You could say please, you know."

"I'm not in the mood to say please," was Cash's only retort.

Cash appeared to be staring sullenly into space, but instead he was admiring Angelica's tiny figure, bustling around the kitchen area, efficiently getting Cash his coffee. No matter how cranky he was, she always saw to it that he was taken care of.

Angelica felt shivers tingling down her back as she quickly turned around only to be met by Cash towering over her. For a moment she got nervous and stepped back, accidentally dropping the coffee cup into the sink and spilling all of its contents that went swirling in erratic circles down the drain.

Her ruby red lips were met with a searing kiss as Cash grabbed Angelica and pressed her close. Why did the feel of his arms around her always turn her knees to jelly? Why couldn't she resist his advances? Didn't she have any pride at all?

Before she could utter one word he'd carried her to her freshly made bed and lay her down.

"You can't treat me like this. Be with her last night and then just expect me to be happy that ..."

Cash broke in, "I said I'm not in the mood to say please. I've never said it before and I'm not about to start now."

Angelica wasn't scared. She was never scared when she was with Cash. Only protected and safe.

"I'm not going to beg you. You belong to me," was Cash's only explanation.

"What exactly does that mean? I belong to you? If I belong to you then what are you doing with Rita? Why do you act as if I don't exist sometimes?" Angelica lay perfectly still as Cash sat at the bottom of the bed, looking bewildered.

Cash looked deeply into Angelica's eyes and simply said, "You belong to me. I don't owe you an explanation." The only time Cash felt alive was when Angelica was in his arms, but he felt no need to share this secret with her either. It was the one moment he felt truly at home - completely at peace. She quieted the moments of agony he often felt in his soul. Mere seconds later he was on top of her, like so many times before, tasting her sweet lips, exploring her body with his rough hands, tracing lazy circles across her stomach, following the trail his fingers took with his mouth - punctuating each touch with a scorching kiss. For a moment she resisted, but Cash's strong arms held her down. Sometimes she wondered if she struggled hard enough – if he'd really let her go. But what Cash wanted, he took. There was no point of resisting. He was the man. He would take her. His throbbing manhood so hard - so deep inside of her. Fill her with his seed. Use her body for his pleasure any time he wanted. He never was a gentle lover.  He wanted her too much. Too desperately. A mindless craving. She was his and only his.

Angelica said nothing, because there was nothing to say. She surrendered sweetly without hesitation, accepting him as he thrust deep, erasing the pain that he carried with him, at least for a few pure blissful moments. The manly pride he felt every time when she surrendered completely to him overwhelmed him. How could a woman as beautiful and wonderful as Angelica give herself to him so selflessly? She was always more concerned with his pleasure than hers and the things that realization did to his heart - he didn't want to think about ...

Sometimes Angelica thought she couldn't possibly feel a happiness compared to how she felt when Cash possessed her - sometimes her heart and body ached so badly for him that she thought she may perish - the pain was so deep. How could she love him so much when apparently he did not return her feelings? Why did she let him do anything he wanted to her anytime he asked?  Even when he didn't ask? But the ache she felt for him was so deep she simply would cease to exist if not for him.

***

Mr. Noble sat in the audience, overseeing the rehearsal, tapping his pencil irritatedly on his notepad, yelling suggestions and shaking his head any time someone dared to make a mistake. "I said stage left. Left! Left! Not right! Are you an imbecile or what?"

The nervous actor tripped over his shaking foot as he quickly changed directions sending him nearly flying off the stage into Mr. Noble's lap. Mr. Noble glared through his wire glasses, making deep creases in his already craggy face. "Do you want to be replaced?" he yelled. "I have a line of a hundred other actors that would give their right arm to be working with me. Is that what you're striving for? A chimp could do a better job than you. There is a zoo not far from here. Shall I go and look for a replacement?"

The pale, thin actor exited the stage, where Angelica stood shaking in her tiny boots, as she patted him on the shoulder, smiled  and whispered, "Don't worry. It'll be fine."

Rita sashayed onto the stage, looking her gloriously beautiful, usual self. Mr. Noble's eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store at her entrance. "Bravo Rita. Wonderful!"

Angelica and Blake, the pale, shaky actor, giggled to themselves over Mr. Noble's exuberance at Rita's ability to walk in a straight line. If only life was as easy as it was for Rita. She could do no wrong in any man's eyes - especially Mr. Noble's and seemingly Cash's.

Cash waited outside the door, perusing the bulletin board, boredly reading about upcoming events at the theater.

Cash whispered, "A costume party? Hmmm. That could prove useful. What a perfect way to get information in complete anonymity."

Rita sneaked up behind him and playfully placed her hands over his eyes. "Guess who?!" OK, for a law man he'd better become more aware of his surroundings when people were sneaking up on him ...

"Only the most beautiful woman in the world?" was Cash's instant reply.

Angelica laughed hysterically as Blake made gagging sounds.

Rita spun around and stared daggers at them both. "Immature children ..." was her only response as she dragged Cash off into her new private dressing room. Angelica didn't know whether it hurt her heart more or irritated her more when Cash was with Rita. It definitely had to be a toss up. She pushed down the tears welling in her eyes and the lump forming in her throat.

Angelica bubbled with excitement upon seeing the announcement for the costume party. A costume party! It would be so much fun. She could dress in a beautiful gown. A fun night with no responsibility. If only she could keep Cash away from Rita it would be the perfect night.

***

Later that evening in Cash's apartment.

"So Miss Fashionista, what can you tell me about getting a tuxedo? My normal jeans, shirt and vest won't be up to par for your soiree."

Angelica's heart dropped. Cash was going to the costume party with Rita. "Soiree? You've definitely been spending too much time with Rita. Your speech is becoming stilted ..." Angelica huffed.

"I thought you liked high class, stuffy men," Cash replied sarcastically. "Speaking of that - have you heard from my dead beat brother Edward lately?"

"Nothing," was Angelica's quiet reply. "Stop changing the subject. You're going to the costume party with Rita?"

"Yes, I'm going to the costume party with Rita. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, absolutely no problem. It's your prerogative to date a whore. I guess not much has changed from back home. Although the whores back home at least didn't have such objectionable personalities."

***

Rita's dressing room was the largest one in the building, of course since she was the "starhhhhh" of the show. It was painted a light shade of purple, which could barely be seen through all of the mirrors hanging on the walls, waiting for her to honor them with her reflection.  Cash often felt claustrophobic in both of the dressing rooms. Too girly. He needed the fresh air and outdoors to calm him. That was the only serenity he had.

Angelica could clearly hear Rita talking to Cash from her dressing room next door.

"I was born in Texas too, but went to live with relatives. Then ended up in an orphanage. Don't actually know who my family is. Totally lost contact with them. I hear we're from the same town, so we actually might know the same people!" bubbled Rita, who was in an uncharacteristically pleasant mood.

It couldn't be this easy, could it? Angelica's head spun. Rita couldn't be her sister? All she had ever known her as was Sissy. She never even knew her real name. Angelica had been so young she barely had any memories of her. The only information she'd been able to get from a private investigator  was that she was somewhere in Boston. This was too unbelievable.

"All the memories that I have are of playing with my sister in the parlor. We used to play jacks and skip rope in the house. Our maid would become just furious with me for skipping rope in the house. I broke a beautiful blue vase. She never got over that and I got quite the spanking. Silly, but that is one of my only memories." Rita stared thoughtfully into space.

Angelica could remember that day as if it as yesterday. Rita had to be her sister. She just had to be. But she hated Angelica. How could it be possible?

Angelica could not straighten out the thoughts that spun around her head. She needed to get back to the quiet of her apartment and center herself. It just could not be.

"I feel quite a headache coming on. I hope you'll excuse me," Angelica offered to Bella, dazed, as she picked up her wrap and got up to leave.

"Are you sure you're ok? I could walk with you to make sure you get home safe," Bella replied concerned.

"That is so sweet of you but I will be fine. You just get some rest too. It's been quite the day of rehearsals. If Cash asks where I went just tell him I went home," Angelica sighed. "Thanks Bella."

***

Angelica returned to her apartment in stunned silence, still mulling over the strange turn of events.

Cash burst in as was his normal habit, sat down and opened Angelica's ice box looking for something to eat. He could eat anything at any time of the day or night. He wasn't exactly a growing boy anymore but he ate like it. It amazed Angelica how his body stayed in such perfect condition with his strange eating habits.

When the fog finally lifted from Angelica's brain, she noticed him happily eating a plate of fried chicken she'd made for herself the day before. No wonder she was losing weight. Cash was always downing her meals.