Authors: Robin Jones Gunn
“You just called me Julie.”
“No I didn’t.” He smiled and held out his arms for her to come back to him. “I admit it’s hard for a man to form his words clearly when his mouth is full of luscious hair. But you didn’t hear me correctly.” Scott shook his head, retaining his
innocent look. “Julie?” he repeated with raised eyebrows. “Where do you come up with this stuff?”
Teri scrutinized his expression and decided he was either a very good liar or was telling the truth. Nothing in his cool demeanor hinted that he had slipped up.
“You know,” Scott said, drawing himself up to a seated position, “this is what we keep having problems with, isn’t it? You’re too uptight.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Well, it would sure help me if you could figure out what your problem is. It’s like you don’t want us to happen.”
“That’s not it, Scott.”
“Then what’s the problem?” His voice was loud and commanding like it had been in his car the night she had stepped on the fireworks. Her tears had angered him that night. She refused to cry now.
“I’m a cautious person,” Teri said, trying to sound strong and confident. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?” Scott ran his fingers through his hair and didn’t answer.
Teri felt awful. The romantic mood was broken. Even though Scott seemed to be controlling his anger, she could tell he was mad at her. She sensed he was a smoldering volcano inside.
“Let’s head back,” Scott said firmly. He pushed himself up and went about his tasks with the sails as if he were a robot.
“I’m sorry,” Teri said.
He smiled back his thin acceptance of her apology.
She wanted him to come back to her and hold her and assure her that she was the woman he adored. The tension was awful. How could everything be so good and turn so terrible in a few short minutes?
Teri was convinced it was she. Scott was right; she was too judgmental, too rigid. Even in the middle of a wonderful, intimate
moment, she was so untrusting she was actually hearing things.
That’s it! I’m changing. From this moment on, I’m going to be open, free, and trusting. The next time Scott takes me in his arms and kisses me, I’m going to kiss him right back, and good! I’ll show him I’m not an uptight prude. If I let this man get away from me, I don’t know what I’ll do. Another man like Scott Robinson will never be in my life again!
As convinced as Teri was of her course of action, her whole self had a hard time entering into the plan. She was raised to be modest and careful of how she used her body and her actions. It would take a little while for all the parts of her psyche to act on her decision.
Their sail back to Maalaea Harbor was silent and tense. Ignoring the problem between them, Scott talked about work on the drive home. He seemed to be comfortable and acted normal with her, as if nothing unsettling had happened an hour earlier. Maybe it hadn’t been as unsettling to him as it had been to her.
“Do you want to come to church with me on Sunday?” Teri ventured during a lull in the conversation. “You said you wanted to start going back to church.”
Scott looked straight ahead, waiting for the light to change. They were in Lahaina, right next to the huge, black smokestack of the sugar cane refinery. “Not this Sunday. Maybe next week.”
“What’s your work schedule like?” Teri took another stab. “Would you like to do something tomorrow or Sunday afternoon?”
“I’ll have to give you a call.” The light turned green, and they made their way through the late morning congestion and headed north toward Napili.
“I’d really like to get together and do something, if it works out for you,” Teri said. Then, draping her arm over the back of
his seat, she started to rub his neck.
Scott cringed at her touch. “Sunburn,” he said.
She quickly pulled away her arm. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Say you’re sorry all the time. It’s not your fault my neck is sunburned. You don’t have to apologize for trying to do something nice for me like rubbing my neck. Actually, I’m glad you’re loosening up a little. I like it when you make a move toward me instead of my always making the moves toward you.”
Teri kept that in mind. The minute they pulled in front of the house and Scott turned off the ignition, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
“Thanks for taking me out,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I loved being with you, and I’m already looking forward to the next time.”
Scott looked pleased, as if this were the kind of treatment he had been waiting for. He sat there, soaking it up.
“You’re right about my being too rigid,” Teri said, trying to make her brown eyes as expressive as they could be. “I’m going to work on that. You’ll see.” Then she tilted her chin up and invited him to kiss her.
It was a mutual kiss, one she willingly gave and one he willingly took. In this new balance, Teri felt a sense of power. Neither of them could deny the fireworks between them.
“That’s more like it,” Scott said, burrowing his nose in her hair. “I knew you must feel something for me. Why haven’t you kissed me like that before?”
“I need to go slowly, Scott. Very slowly. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Of course I understand. Why didn’t you say so? The way
you’ve been pushing me away, I thought I repulsed you or something.”
Teri pulled away and looked at him, shocked. “How could you think that? Of course not, Scott. I’m very attracted to you. I’m sorry I made you feel I wasn’t.”
He lifted his finger and touched her lips the instant she said the word “sorry.”
“Oh, I did it again, didn’t I? I’ll work on it.”
“Good,” Scott said, straightening up. “I wish I didn’t have to go to work. I’ll call you when I get off.”
“Okay,” Teri whispered back. “Bye, Scott.” She pulled away and let herself out of the car.
He waved. She waved. Her heart was still pounding. Teri smiled all the way to the front door. As Teri opened the screen door, her sister was standing there with her hands on her hips.
“Hi,” Teri said cheerfully, walking past her and heading for the refrigerator for something to drink.
Anita followed her. Holding up both her hands, Anita looked at the floor and said, “I know you don’t want to hear this.”
“Hear what?” Teri popped the lid on a can of soda and skimmed past Anita on her way to the couch.
“I saw you and Scott in the car just now, and it concerned me.”
“Why? There’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“Teri, I want to know what’s going on with you and Scott.”
“Nothing is going on. We went sailing. We’ve spent some time together. We like each other.”
“It looks as if you’re getting very involved with each other. Do you really think that’s a good idea, Teri? He’s not the right man for you. Why can’t you see that?”
“Hey, I don’t know if he is the right one or the wrong one,
but I have the right to figure that out on my own, don’t I? How many times do we have to go over this? You are not my mother. Okay? Repeat this after me, ‘I am not Teri’s mother.’ ”
“But I am Teri’s sister, and as such I’m telling you Scott Robinson is not the right man for you.”
“Oh, and you have this on good authority, do you? You know these things? What are you saying, Anita? That God talks to you, and he doesn’t talk to me?”
“Maybe so.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Am I? Then answer one question for me. Have you really prayed about Scott and asked God to show you what his best is? I know you’ve watched lots of movies since you’ve been here and read a couple of novels, but I haven’t seen you read your Bible. You used to be the one who never missed her quiet time when we were growing up. What’s happened to you, Teri?”
Teri could feel the anger bubbling up within her. “I’m not into your guilt game, Anita. You’re not my mother, and you’re not the Holy Spirit. Do you want me asking you when your last quiet time was? Or do you want me accusing you of not trusting God about your baby? You’re so quick to judge everyone else. You’re not perfect! Just leave me alone. Okay?” Teri jumped up and marched to the front door. “I wish I’d never come here!”
She slammed the screen door and began to march down to the beach. In all the years and in all the arguments she and Anita had had, this was the worst. Never before had she wanted to hit her sister, which is how she felt right now.
Teri broke into a jog and ran almost four blocks before she felt her sandal rubbing the scar tissue on her foot and sending shooting pains up her leg. She took the rest of the journey at a slower, more deliberate pace, blazing a trail down to the beach
and heading for some black lava rocks that jutted into the water. She could see someone coming from the other direction who seemed to be headed to the same spot.
Don’t you dare think of going there! That’s my spot. I found it first!
Teri quickened her pace and scrambled up the low side of the rock, ignoring the other person. She stood on top, pushing herself to her full height, proving to any and all onlookers that she had staked a claim to this spot. Surely that other tourist would keep on walking. Nobody in his right mind would want to deal with Teri in the emotional state she was in at this moment.
“G’day, Teri,” came Gordon’s cheery voice behind her. “Imagine this! You’ve come to my favorite prayer closet.”
Teri spun around and gave Gordon a glare that would frighten even a pirate. But she never knew if he saw her glare or not, for at that precise second, Gordon slipped on the wet rock. In an effort to steady himself, he lunged for Teri’s arm. She tried to pull away. It was too late. In one ungraceful tumble, both of them catapulted off the rock and fell into the water.
T
eri came up gasping for air and spitting salt water. Gordon bobbed up a moment later, laughing and choking and laughing some more.
“It’s not funny!” Teri croaked at him just as a wave swept over her and tumbled her closer to shore. She half crawled and swam the rest of the way, with Gordon right behind her. Several people on shore had seen the accident and rushed over to check on them.
“Are you okay?” a plump woman asked. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” Teri said, pushing her hair off her face. She panted for another breath. “I’m fine.”
“No harm done then?” Gordon asked, standing up and wringing out the tail of his Hawaiian print shirt.
Teri repeated her menacing glare at him, only this time her fury was waterlogged.
The gawkers dispersed. Gordon smoothed back his thick
brown hair. His eyes were still crinkled up, and he was smiling, but he wasn’t laughing anymore. He knelt down in the sand next to Teri and looked tenderly at her. She had never noticed his dimples before. They gave him a little kid look. His eyes, fully opened and looking deeply into hers, were as blue as the Maui sky that formed a backdrop behind his head. Gordon’s hand gently rested on her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re all right, Teri?”
She kept looking at him. Nothing inside her said,
Pull away;
nothing made her feel afraid of this man. Perhaps knowing he was a pastor, or at least planning to be one, made her feel fearless around him. All she knew was that he had a mysteriously calming effect on her.
“Yes, I’m okay.”
“Yes, well, right then.” He removed his hand and sat down next to her. She faced the shore, and he faced her. “Being that you’re all right, then I’ve a favor to ask of you.”
“A favor?”
“You see, I’m going back to seminary in the fall. I know they’re going to ask me for a report, and it might help the status of my graduation, you see.”
Teri couldn’t imagine what he was talking about.
“It regards my duties as a pastor. So, if you don’t mind answering honestly, for the seminary report and all, would you rate this baptism a successful one?”
A slow laugh pushed its way up from somewhere deep inside Teri, and she laughed like she hadn’t laughed in days, maybe weeks.
“I’ll register your response,” he said. Then standing up and pulling off his shirt and soggy tennis shoes, he hitched up his swim trunks and said, “A little swim sounds good right about now, don’t you think?”
Teri couldn’t refuse. She still had on her bathing suit from
the sailing trip that morning, and everything else was already wet. Why shouldn’t she agree to plunge back in the water with this man? She slipped off her sandals.
He flashed her a smile and headed for the water. Teri peeled off her wet shirt and shorts and watched him dive in.
Slowly strolling to the water, she realized how warm the ocean felt. The splash from the rock had felt refreshing. She had only been in the water two or three times during her vacation, and she considered that a crime. She loved the water. She loved swimming. A relaxing swim would help her mellow out a little and prepare her to face her sister.
She stood at the water’s edge, wedging her feet into the warm, wet sand and watched Gordon dive like a dolphin under the next wave. It crested over his submerged body and raced to shore, where it swirled around Teri’s ankles and used every one of its tickling, foaming fingers to coax Teri into the water. Chasing the wave back out to sea, Teri dove in and swam out to Gordon.