Whispers (5 page)

I
really should go,” Scott said, rising from the table on Dan and Anita’s patio. “This has been a great day. And can you believe we’re practically neighbors?”

Teri knew it must be close to midnight. They had been having so much fun she didn’t want the day to end. The four of them had stayed together for the entire luau at Halekuali’i. They had sat on woven mats and had eaten the roasted pig off of some kind of huge leaves. Dan and Anita had treated Scott and Teri as if they were a couple who were visiting their island, even instructing them on how to eat the traditional
poi
by scooping the gray, pasty food up with two fingers. Then came the hula dancers, which included the
kahiko
, or ancient hula dances, and then the Tahitian fire dancers. At sunset came the blowing of the conch shell and the lighting of the tiki torches.

They had ended up returning to Dan and Anita’s for coffee and more talking. Anita had pulled out her old yearbooks, and the four of them took turns telling high school stories. Teri
noticed that she and Scott knew many of the same people, and yet in high school their paths never had crossed.

Scott stood and stretched. He still carried himself like a football star, although his face was now that of a man. In the yearbook pictures he had looked like a tough kid trying to prove something.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Dan,” he said. “And again, the invitation is open, Anita. If you want to come sailing with Teri and me on Friday, you’re welcome to join us.”

“No, I really need to work. Thanks anyway.”

Scott turned to Dan. “We’ll have to find a time when we all have the day off. I’d love to take all of you out on the
Moonfish
.”

“That’s going to be pretty tricky,” Dan said. “I’ve been saving all my vacation time for a camping trip. We’re hiking through Haleakala, the volcano, in two weeks. I’ve waited two years to get reservations.”

“Reservations for what?” Scott asked.

“Some cabins are inside the crater. Three of them. They were built in the thirties, and they hold twelve people. Over the past few years they’ve become so popular, the park service holds a lottery to draw names to decide who gets to stay in a cabin. My name was drawn this year.”

“You have to be kidding,” Scott said. “You mean you can hike into the crater?”

“Yep. They say it’s unlike any other place you’ve ever hiked. A bunch of us at work have been entering the lottery off and on for the past two years. Believe me, nothing is going to stop me from going on this backpack!”

“Are all twelve places taken?” Scott asked.

“They are at this point. Would you like to get on the list if anyone drops out?”

“Yeah!” Scott nodded and looked as if Dan had offered him tickets to the Super Bowl. “Put my name down. I’m in the
second one of your buddies drops out.”

“No problem,” Dan said. “I’ll check around at work tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there,” Scott said. “Keep me posted.” He turned to Teri and said, “And we have a date Friday morning on the
Moonfish
.”

Teri smiled. “I’ll see you then!”

Scott let himself out. Dan and Anita both stared at Teri.

“What?” she said.

“This is pretty interesting,” Dan said. “You have Mark on the line and Scott in the net. I didn’t know you were into competitive fishing.”

“Oh, right! Like I really went out searching for Scott. We happened to bump into each other. I went to high school with him, too, you know.”

Anita looked concerned. “What are you going to do about Mark?”

“What do you mean? Why do I need to do anything about Mark? He said he would see me on Sunday. So, I’ll see him on Sunday. In the meantime, I’ll go sailing with an old friend on Friday. Are there any ancient Hawaiian laws that say I can’t do that?”

“I think you need to talk to Mark before you go sailing,” Anita insisted.

“Why?”

“So you know where you stand with him.”

Dan listened to the two with a cat grin on his face.

“I don’t know that I
want
to know or that I
need
to know where I stand with Mark,” Teri hotly replied. “He’s not a very talkative person, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“All the more reason for you to be up front with him,” Anita said. “He saw you with Scott today. We both saw Scott give you a hug when you were coming up from the beach.
What is Mark supposed to make of that?”

“Why does it matter to you what Mark makes of it?” Teri spouted back. “Can’t I take things as they come? This is my life we’re discussing here, remember? What difference is it to you if I want to go out with two men in the same week? That is, if you want to call dinner last night a date. It seemed more like you two were babysitting Mark and me. Maybe I need to be alone with Mark once to see what’s really there. And maybe I need to be alone with Scott once to see if anything is there. It’s kind of hard for me to discover such things when you guys are always around.”

“Well, excuse us!” Anita said, pushing herself away from the patio table and marching inside. “You want to be alone? Fine. I’ll leave you alone. Good night!”

Teri heaved an angry huff. Why did she and Anita relate this way? Either they were intensely connected, like two eyes looking out of the same head, or they were complete opposites who saw everything differently.

“You two drive me crazy,” Dan said after a moment. “I’ve never known two people who could be so identical and so opposite at the same time.”

“She just wants to run my life,” Teri said. “We would get along great if she didn’t always have to be my boss. Or my mother. Or whatever it is she’s trying to be.”

“She’s trying to be a big sister.”

“Why can’t she just be my
sister
,” Teri said, looking up and searching Danny’s expression for an answer. “She is only fourteen months older. Why does she always have to try to dominate me?”

“I don’t know. Birth order, I guess. Why do you always have to be so defensive?”

Teri threw his logic right back at him with a casual, “Oh, birth order I guess.”

“You probably don’t want to hear this,” Dan said, “but may I offer a little big brotherly advice?”

Teri shot him a wary glance.

“Take it slow, Teri. From what I know of Mark, he’s levelheaded, is a strong Christian, and has a good reputation. All I know about Scott is what’s left over of his high school reputation. You and I both know it wasn’t the greatest. So, if things start moving quickly with Scott, will you do me a personal favor and take it easy until you know him better?”

Teri didn’t answer. She didn’t like Dan lecturing her, especially after Anita’s mothering comments. But she didn’t want to be a brat, either. She wanted to be clear-headed and unemotional and take in her brother-in-law’s advice like a mature, twenty-six-year-old woman. Unfortunately, she felt about thirteen.

“God has the right man for you, Teri,” Dan said as he rose to leave. With a yawn he opened the sliding glass door and added, “Just be patient and wait for the right one.”

Teri had waited. While she waited, she had watched Anita and Dan’s love affair for ten years. Of course Dan could say, God has the right man for you. He and Anita met when they were high school freshmen. They fell in love and were married two weeks after graduating from high school. Neither of them knew anything about blind dates or sitting home alone weekend after weekend. Neither of them knew the pain of breaking up with someone after dating him for almost a year.

Teri swished the cold coffee grounds around in the bottom of her cup. She was irked whenever anyone used pat Christian answers to explain something in life that was difficult. “God is in control.” “God will work it out.” “Wait on the Lord.” Teri knew them all. And she knew that, while they held important truths, many times they had been reduced to a simple reply to a complex situation.

Teri also had to admit that she had used those statements
herself on countless occasions. Both she and Anita had learned them growing up as daughters of the pastor of a large Hispanic church in north San Diego County. But the older Teri became, the harder she found it to explain the disappointments in life. She couldn’t believe a capricious God would choose to bless some people in their love lives and ignore others.

Glancing at the night sky, she noticed dozens of stars twinkled down on her, all winking. “Okay,” she whispered into the stillness, “I’m waiting.”

T
he next morning, Teri and Anita acted as if they had not had a tiff the night before. Anita wasn’t feeling well, which put her more in the mode of a kitten than a tiger. She worked quietly in her room, and Teri entertained herself reading out on the patio, or “lanai,” as Dan and Anita called it, and then watching some television. Finally she decided to act on her goal to exercise every day of her vacation. She had procrastinated long enough.

“I’m going for a walk,” Teri called out through Anita’s closed door. “If I’m not back in an hour send out the hound dogs.”

Anita didn’t answer. Teri quietly opened the bedroom door and spotted Anita curled up on her bed fast asleep. Her computer was on. It looked as if the past few late nights had caught up with her. Teri tiptoed over to the desk, wrote a note on a Post-It, and stuck in on the computer screen. Then she left the room and closed the door.

Outside half a dozen barefoot kids were playing in the street. The sky over them hung heavy with thick, pink clouds streaked with white strips of sunlight. Teri walked out of the cul-de-sac and headed toward the beach.

She knew it was more than half a mile down to the sand, but she didn’t care. She was on Maui. What was a mile’s walk to the beach and back? In Oregon it took her more than two hours to drive to the coast, and once she arrived, the temperature was so cold she couldn’t stand to walk barefoot in the sand. Maui’s warm sands beckoned her feet to come to them this beautiful afternoon, and she would oblige.

The wind kept her company as she made long strides through the housing development and downhill toward the highway. In front of her, majestic Moloka’i, the neighboring island, rose in great, green splendor. It looked so close, as if she could swim right over to it.

She had heard of wind surfers skittering the nine miles across the Pailolo Channel from Maui to Moloka’i on a windy day. She wondered if any were trying the journey today. It seemed windy enough from where she was standing.

When Teri crossed the main road, the wind decreased markedly, blocked by continuous buildings—condominiums, hotels, motels, resorts. They looked like one long barricade that not only cut the wind but also blocked Teri from the sand.

She walked through the grounds of one of the motels and headed out to the beach. Slipping off her sandals, she twisted her toes into the warm, white sand. Closing her eyes, she savored the moment.

Then, instead of walking along the shore, Teri found a spot to settle in the sand. She watched the dozens of people. A few feet to her right, a father with a belly that hung over his swim trunks was barking commands to two little kids who were trying to ride a gentle wave into shore on a Styrofoam surfboard.
The little girl looked as if she was close to tears as her dad said, “Come on, do it again! This time look up at the camera and wave to Daddy. That’s it! Go catch that wave, honey.”

A woman in front of Teri wore a tiny bikini. Her skin was deep red. She lay on her stomach with sunglasses on, elbows propped up, as she read a thick novel. Teri noticed she was turning the pages fast, as if she had to finish this book by a certain time.

Couples strolled by, and toddlers squatted at the shore and scooped wet sand with blue plastic shovels. Everyone seemed so busy vacationing, so hurried about their relaxing. Teri promised herself she would downshift. She would take everything at a much slower pace and savor every moment.

She tried not to think about getting married, about sitting on a beach someday watching her own children play. But it was hopeless. The sights and sounds of families, of children, of couples, surrounded her.

Funny, but she didn’t feel lonely like this when she was working. Her life in Glenbrooke was full and rich. So far this vacation, which was supposed to help her relax and become rejuvenated, had only brought confusion about Mark and longing for marriage. It was not a satisfying combination.

Teri took her time walking back. She knew the answers to her heart’s questions were not simple ones. Marriage to the right man didn’t insure happiness and the coming true of all one’s dreams.

Even her sister had struggles. Twice Anita had miscarried. Several years had passed since she had lost the last baby, and Teri knew Anita was afraid to try again.

How much better it would be
, Teri thought,
if I could learn to be content in whatever my situation
.

Resolved to discover a deeper level of contentment, Teri concentrated on smelling the flowers on her walk back to the
house. She listened for every bird and toyed with the idea of moving to the island permanently. Today the thought seemed like a good one.

Her laid-back mood matched the day when she met Scott the next morning. The drive down to Maalaea Harbor was beautiful, and Teri breathed in the sights, sounds, and scents along the way.